by Selena Kitt
“I think we’re going to have to go around.” Rob turned to me, his gaze sweeping my outfit, down my thigh-high stockings, ending at my boots, then traveled up again, meeting my eyes. Oh God, it was back. That heat. It was intoxicating. “You’re sure you can walk?”
“Fuck that, I have to take a piss!” Tyler groaned, putting both fists against the door. “On three, give it all you got. One. Two. Three.”
So, we pounded. We yelled. Tyler kicked the door with his tennis shoes. My head started to pound, and I didn’t know if it was my wound throbbing or the sound we were all making—they became one and the same.
“Yay!” Katie noticed a door opening.
“Hey!” Rob stepped toward the opening door and an incredible wave of sound. “Thanks, man!”
“Hold it!” A large guy wearing a security guard uniform stopped Rob with a flat hand pressed against his chest. He was twice Rob’s width and had a good four inches on him in height. “This entrance is closed. Take your tickets around front.”
“But we’re in the band!” Tyler stepped around Katie, pressing Rob’s shoulder with his own. The security guard looked him up and down. I couldn’t fault him for his confusion. They didn’t look or dress like rock stars—no make-up or big hair or costumes. They looked like regular guys in jeans and t-shirts and tennis shoes. The curse or blessing of the garage band, I thought. They blend.
“You know… the band… Trouble.” Rob’s face grew increasingly disbelieving with further explanation. “I’m Rob Burns. This is Tyler Cook.”
The guard hesitated, looking between me and Katie.
“We’re just fans,” I explained. “We’re not with them.”
“But we have tickets!” Katie pulled them from her purse.
The guard pressed Rob away with his hand, nodding toward Katie. “Then I can let you in. You, too.” He jerked his head toward me.
Rob gaped at us as we moved past him, Katie holding out our tickets. I almost laughed at the wide-eyed look on his face.
I stopped in front of the security guard, determined to put things straight. “They really are in the band. Rob Burns is the lead singer of Trouble. If you don’t let them in, there isn’t going to be a show!”
“There are twelve thousand people in there waiting for us, dude!” Tyler called over my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, but I just work here. I don’t know you.” The guard shrugged a shoulder in Rob and Tyler’s direction.
Tyler swore again, slapping his forehead and then slamming his fist against the door.
The security guard reached toward his belt and I gasped, wondering if they carried guns. When he pulled out a walkie-talkie, I sighed in relief.
The big guy pressed the button on the side of the receiver and spoke into it. “Listen, I have two young men at the back entrance who say they’re in the band.”
Katie looked at me, grinning and crossing her eyes, making me want to giggle.
This was insane!
“I’m sure they’ll let you in.” I turned to Rob, seeing that dark look in his eyes, but it was different this time, and it wasn’t directed at me. I suddenly feared for the security guard’s safety instead of the other way around, despite the obvious size difference.
“Awww man, I gotta take a piss,” Tyler groaned.
“Hey, hey!” Rob leaned into me and my body jolted at his touch, a white-hot zing that went straight to my pelvis. Rob pointed past the security guard. “John! Hey, that guy knows me!”
The guy, John, I assumed, heard Rob calling.
The security guard blocked the door with his bulk, turning to look at the man walking toward him. “Do you know these guys?”
The walkie-talkie in the guard’s hand came alive, full of static and crackle. “Burns and the lead guitar player are missing. Do you have them at the east doors?”
“Hey, Rob!” John peeked his furrowed brow around the security guard’s shoulder. He carried a coiled cord over his arm like a pet snake. “Whatcha doin’ out there?”
“Looking for a bathroom,” Katie volunteered.
I felt Rob’s body shake with laughter. I turned to look at him and his eyes smiled at me. He seemed to have forgotten my horrible remark—or at least, I hoped he had.
“Seriously? Oh shit. I’m sorry…” The look on the guard’s face was priceless. He looked like someone had just walked in while he was going to the bathroom. “These guys are part of the band?”
“That one pretty much is the band.” John pointed to Rob.
“I resent that.” Tyler gave him the finger, grinning.
“I apologize…” The guard moved aside to let us all in from the cold. He was bright red. “I didn’t know. I’m just filling in…”
“That’s all right, man.” Rob clapped him on the shoulder, forgiving him easily, even though a moment before he’d been ready to tackle him. I hoped he would forgive me just as easily! “Easy mistake.”
I heard the crowd chanting, “Rob! Rob! Rob!” There was no music playing now. The opening act must have ended.
“Hey, John…” Rob grabbed the roadie by the arm. “Do me a favor and find these two young ladies a place in the front row, would you?” He smiled at me. “I nearly knocked this one down a flight of stairs. She needs some first aid.”
“Thanks.” I touched his arm, feeling bold, and Rob covered my hand with his, smiling at me.
All seemed forgiven, if his gesture was any indication, and I felt relieved. I hadn’t met many “stars” in my lifetime. A few sports players when I was young with my dad who watched all of them, season after season, lamenting his only child was a girl—even though I followed them too, just so I could spend time with him. The only real star I’d ever met had been a lead in my mother’s favorite musical, Les Miserables. She’d taken me in my teens—she knew someone backstage and we managed to get back there after the show. The actors signed autographs and pasted on fake smiles, but they seemed utterly exhausted underneath. One of the actors simply walked away in the middle of signing an autograph, taking off his feathered hat and tossing it on the floor before going into a room and slamming the door behind him.
Rob wasn’t like that—he felt real, genuine. Of course, that was the fantasy, wasn’t it? At least, it had always been mine—meeting a rock star who turned out to be sweet and kind and down-to-earth. Someone who wasn’t into the stuff musicians usually were, like all the drinking and drugs that came with the rock and roll lifestyle. But it didn’t ever turn out that way in real life.
Did it?
“Um…Rob?” Katie tugged at his sleeve. He looked from me to glance down at the tickets Katie had clutched in her hand.
I don’t think he’d even looked twice at my pretty blonde friend and it surprised me. Katie was far prettier than me, skinnier too. She was always the one guys gravitated to when we went to the bar or parties or concerts. I was used to it. What I wasn’t used to was the sort of attention Rob had paid me. It made me uncomfortable. Maybe that’s why I’d made that crack about not suing him.
“We already kinda have front row seats.” Katie boldly waved our tickets at him. I nudged her quiet and she nudged me back.
“Oh!” He raised his eyebrows, grinning over at me. “Well, tell you what then, John, give these girls an All-Access-Pass, huh?”
Katie grinned, nudging me even harder in the ribs, making me gasp. The sound of the crowd was louder now, still chanting his name.
“I’ll see you backstage after the show.” Rob took a step toward me, pulling me aside, away from Katie and her deadly elbow. He reached out to touch the side of my head again. “Make sure you get that cleaned up, okay? I’d do it myself, but I’m a little late for a show.”
I nodded, trying to find my voice. Every time I got close to him, it disappeared.
“Listen, about what I said…” I bit my lip, searching for the right words. “I’m sorry. I just…”
“Shh.” His finger moved to my lips, shushing me, and his touch was like a kiss. “We’ll talk aft
er the show.”
We would? I swallowed, meeting his eyes, wondering what he was thinking, giving us backstage passes. I was still second-guessing his motives, sure he must just be worried about nearly knocking me down the stairs. I mean, he couldn’t be interested in me, personally.
Could he?
Rob leaned in to whisper into my ear, “See you later, gorgeous.”
Then he turned and followed Tyler, heading toward a door John pointed out and my stomach and my world turned upside down as I watched him walk away.
“Come on!” Katie tugged my arm and I followed John in the opposite direction.
Then I felt an invisible tug and glanced over my shoulder to see Rob looking back at us.
At me.
“Don’t forget to pee!” I called, waving.
Rob laughed, winking at me, and followed Tyler through the door.
“All right, girls.” John hoisted the black cord over his shoulder. “Follow me.”
I started after him, my whole body buzzing with excitement. I didn’t even hear the voice calling, my ears still ringing from Rob’s words, but Katie did, stopping so fast I ran right into her back.
“Sabrina!”
I turned at the sound of my name and saw Rob peeking out the door. I raised a hand to wave, my heart leaping in my chest.
“What’s your favorite song?”
I stood there for a moment, not believing he had asked. I wanted to say something impressive, pick his favorite song, or something socially relevant, but it happened too fast and instead I just told him the truth.
“Can’t Break a Broken Heart!”
He gave me a thumbs-up and another wink before ducking back in. Katie grinned at me. I wondered if my eyes were as shiny and glazed as hers.
Chapter Two
We struggled to keep up with John as he took us through a twisting, turning maze of corridors. He stopped at a door marked ‘office’ telling us to wait outside while he unlocked it went in.
Katie took the opportunity to grab my arm and squeal. “Oh my God! Bree, we just met Rob Burns and Tyler Cook!”
Katie called me Bree when she was excited. It was like she couldn’t take the time to say my full name. I still felt too dazed by it all to squeal in response. Instead I just grinned and nodded. John came out carrying two laminated cards attached to strings.
“These will get you anywhere you want to go.” He handed one to me and one to Katie. “Keep them around your neck and keep them safe.”
Katie tugged hers over her head, pulling her long, blonde hair out from under the rubbery string. I stared disbelievingly at mine before putting it on.
“Now, about your head.” John inspected it with his eyes. He was still slinging that cord over his shoulder. It looked like it weighed a ton, but he wasn’t complaining.
“No, it’s okay.” I waved him away. “I really just want to go see the show. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?” He frowned. “First Aid’s right around the corner.”
“She’s sure,” Katie insisted, grabbing my hand. “Can you just tell us how to get to our seats?”
The noise level doubled as he led us through the first set of heavy curtains, and it doubled again through the second set as we followed him into the venue. The lights were dark, the crowd a solid wall of sound. We stood near the top of the stadium and I surveyed the scene, breathless. The stage and roadies clearing instruments below looked like dollhouse miniatures.
Oh great. More stairs!
There was an usher near the entrance and John left us there with a smile and a wave. Katie and I went down, flight after flight, showing our tickets to a new usher at every level until we arrived on the main floor, making our way through already crowded aisles toward the front row.
“Look!” I heard a voice as we passed. “Those are backstage passes!”
I imagined being her, jealous of the privilege, as I pressed the laminated card to my chest and we showed our tickets one last time before sliding into our seats. I felt like a queen. It was amazing how special you felt in the front row at a concert.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” I apologized to Katie.
Katie’s father was, after all, the only reason we had front row tickets in the first place. His work for a promotions company had always been a boon for us through high school and college, whenever our favorite band-of-the-month came into town.
This time was different though. It wasn’t just that Trouble was our favorite band—it was really Rob Burns I was here to see. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone but Katie, who had known me in my teenage rock-star-crush days, but I had a serious thing for Rob Burns. I knew it was ridiculous, a twenty-four-year-old elementary school teacher with a crush on a rock star. Silly or not, I felt an inexplicable connection to him. Sometimes I thought Rob channeled my own thoughts and feelings through his songs.
So, of course, when I heard Trouble was coming to town, front row seats became an imperative. I don’t think I’d ever wanted anything more. I guess the last-minute glitch at Katie’s dad’s office, which almost cost us the tickets, made me realize how important seeing Rob really was to me. We’d nearly been thrown into the general population, probably somewhere in the upper bowl, relegated to carrying a pair of binoculars and Kleenex for the nosebleeds. I’d given Katie hell about it too, I remembered, feeling guilty.
“Apology accepted.” Katie stuck out her tongue at me and then lifted her laminated card and mouthed, “All-Access-Pass,” punctuating each word with a raise of her eyebrows. Then she squealed again and hugged me. Some part of me still thought I was going to just wake up.
That’s when the stage went dark, and the crowd’s wave of sound broke like a tidal wave over my head. We both screamed and clutched at each other in our excitement, bodies all around us standing, forcing us to stand with them. Colored laser lights played over a white sheet descending from the ceiling in front of the stage, and I saw shadowy figures taking their positions.
I couldn’t believe, as the sheet dropped in a ghostly dance to the floor and the lights went up and the music began, that I was watching the same Rob Burns I’d been standing face-to-face with less than half an hour before. He’d thrown a denim jacket over his t-shirt, but he looked just like he had outside. The entire place came alive when he began to sing. The sound of his voice transported me, as it always did, magnified by ten because he was right there—right there—in front of me.
The whole arena became a sea of bodies, bobbing and swaying as one entity. Shrill screams went off around the arena like pressure cookers exploding, and I felt that energy building in me too. Katie went off first, screeching and waving her arms. She looked straight at Tyler, and he grinned and gave her a wink! That was enough to make me squeal, clutch her arm, and shake her. She hardly noticed.
My heart hammered in my chest as Rob prowled the perimeter of the stage. He stopped and smiled at a fan reaching out to him as he sang. The roadies whisked the sheet away, and the light moved all over him now, his face bright with primary colored hues. I couldn’t take my eyes off him—his powerful build, his flashing eyes!
They went immediately into another song, and then another, the wildness of the crowd rising with every note. Rows and rows behind us, signs began to pop up, held way above the mass of heads. I looked back occasionally, just to get the perspective of sitting there, right in the front row! I smiled at one of the signs, which read, “I’m Looking for Trouble!”
When the song ended, the crowd’s voice rose in praise, and Rob grinned. He looked like he was having a wonderful time as he wiped sweat from his face with a towel. He tossed it into the audience at the opposite end of the stage and a dozen people scrambled for it.
How Elvis, I thought, laughing out loud.
“I gotta tell ya, those damn lasers scare the crap outta me.” The light path followed him toward the edge of the stage and he stepped back. The crowd appreciated his humor all at once with a loud roar.
“You guys are a great crowd!” Rob p
ut the microphone in its stand and the fans screamed their appreciation. “Sometimes I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living.” My heart swelled at his words. “Honest, we’re five ordinary guys, playing our music up here just because we can. People seem to want to hear us or something. I think we’re pretty lucky.”
A girl’s voice from behind us rang out, “We’re the lucky ones!”
“I’m glad you think so.” Rob shielded his eyes as he looked out into the audience.
A collective wave of emotion moved through the crowd, an amazing phenomenon, as they went into another song. This one was slower, but Rob’s voice was expressive, deep, and resonant. He held his sleeve as he sang, like he was holding a security blanket. I watched him, moved, a lump in my throat.
I got swept away in the current, jostled forward again, people flooding the space in front of the stage. Katie and I found ourselves together, dancing and singing in front of the same security guard who had let us in the arena. He gave us a half-smile, just a flash, before he resumed his obdurate stance, looking over the crowd.
I was disappointed Rob hadn’t noticed or acknowledged me, the way Tyler had Katie, but I shook it off, touching the All-Access-Pass strung around my neck. The thrill of connecting with him face-to-face, and the possibility of doing so again—we’ll talk after the show—should be enough, I reasoned.
Someone threw a rose on stage and Rob grabbed it, walking around with it clenched between his teeth. It was during the guitar solo, and I laughed as Rob strutted toward Tyler, who grinned back at him. I was amazed how his hands just knew what to do, without having to look or really pay attention to his instrument. It must become second nature, I thought, like learning the steps of a dance and just letting it flow.
Rob held the rose in his hand to sing the next verse, carrying it with him.
When the song ended, he glanced at Tyler. “Hey, Tyler, you got any water for this pretty flower?”
Tyler snorted. “Yeah, sure, right here in my pocket.”
“Dude, I’d reach my hand in your pocket anytime. We all know you’re the sexiest man on this stage… with a big guitar!” Rob waggled his eyebrows, and I laughed again, amazed I could see him do it—that’s how close we were! Katie screamed in agreement at Rob’s sentiment. She clearly thought Tyler was a sexy man with a big guitar too!
