by Selena Kitt
“I’d let you.” Tyler shrugged. “But these pants ain’t got no pockets!”
Tyler had changed from his jeans into a pair of very tight leather pants. Just that I was privy to that knowledge made me feel lightheaded. I felt strange, like I was floating. It just can’t get any better than this, I thought.
And then it did.
“Guess I’ll have to find something else to do with this, then, huh?” Rob turned toward the audience with the rose. “This next song is dedicated to a girl I bumped into earlier tonight.”
My heart stopped. Despite the body heat generated by the crowd and the beads of sweat rolling between my breasts, I felt suddenly chilled. I got goose bumps. As Rob moved toward us, my mind screamed, He isn’t really—this isn’t happening! No way!
He bent toward me, on one knee as he extended the rose. Girls all around us reached for it, but I stood transfixed, mouth hanging open. This can’t be real! Rob held the rose above the array of hands, making direct eye contact with me.
He held the mic off to one side and said to me, just to me, “For you, Sabrina. Glad you got your pass!” His eyes lingered at the laminated card between my breasts and then he winked. “See you after the show.”
I finally got my arm to work, reaching for the rose and offering him a shocked, bemused smile. He nodded, standing, and moving center stage.
“Because it’s your favorite song…” He winked at me. I felt waves of jealousy from everyone around me. It was both uncomfortable and exhilarating at once.
“Startin’ in sin with you, what’s this poor boy gonna do?
This ain’t love, honey, so it must be art.
I can’t give what ain’t mine, girl, so take all you want to,
You can’t break a broken heart.”
Katie screamed, pulling my sleeve. The rose trembled in my hand as Rob began to sing my favorite song. I knew he was singing it for me as he prowled the stage, back and forth, the veins on the side his neck bulging when he sang the chorus. My eyes focused there on the pulse of him, the blood and sweat of him throbbing there for all of us to see. The moment was intimate and sublime, a gift he shared not just with the crowd, but exclusively with me. For one brief, shining moment, I had been part of it.
The rest of the concert was a blur. I clutched the rose, the stem nestled right against the All-Access-Pass stuck to my damp chest. The pseudo-finale left the entire arena vibrating and alive as the lights went dark. The crowd began to chant, “Rob, Rob, Rob!” I was immediately taken back to standing in the cold, hearing his name called repeatedly, so afraid I wasn’t going to get in to see him, afraid our night was going to be ruined.
Yet it couldn’t have turned out better.
My heart soared when the lights came on a few moments later, and Trouble sailed into another song. I felt as if I couldn’t get enough, like I wanted more and more, until I was bursting with the fullness of his presence, the music a live thing, moving through and into me again and again.
When the real finale came, Katie and I hugged, holding each other aloft as the throng of people around us cheered and chanted for more. We knew it was over when the lights went up and the roadies started dismantling the equipment. A couple of girls came up to us, eyeing the passes around our necks, asking how we got them. Katie talked to them while I grabbed our coats.
“Let’s ask him how to get backstage,” Katie suggested, motioning to the security guard who had let us in. I raised my eyebrows and nodded at the brilliance of her plan. We could have wandered forever not knowing where to go. The guard went to talk to another security guard, asking us to wait.
“Katie, oh my God,” I gushed, resting my head on her shoulder. “Did you see him? Did you see him when he gave me this?” I showed her the rose. It didn’t have a little rubber stopper of water at the bottom and it was already beginning to droop.
“Everyone saw, Bree!” She lowered her mouth to my ear. “I think he really likes you.”
I laughed, lifting my head to look at the two guards still talking. “Oh, come on, Katie. This is Rob Burns we’re talking about. He felt bad about what happened. He was just being nice. And he’s married.”
Still, the thought made me tingle all over. And in my fantasies, I always managed to forget he had a wife.
Katie shrugged. “I’m just saying. The way he looked at you? I’d bet you he would take you to his hotel in a heartbeat. You think these guys don’t have one-night-stands with fans?”
I contemplated her words and even let myself fantasize about it a little bit, a warm flush spreading through my limbs.
“What about you and Tyler?” I asked, a clear deflection.
“Let’s just say I don’t intend to let the opportunity pass me by!” Katie gave me a sly, determined smile.
And that was really what it came down to wasn’t it? This was an opportunity. Was I going to let it pass me by?
Chapter Three
“I can show you backstage if you want.”
I smiled up—way, way up—at the security guard. “Hey, thanks. Are you sure?”
“Just cleared it with my boss,” he replied. “It’s not a problem. Follow me.”
Follow me. The phrase reminded me of Lurch from The Addams Family. I couldn’t help smiling as he turned his considerable Lurch-like bulk and we fell in line behind him.
I held Katie’s hand as she swerved her way through the multitudes of people, keeping her eye on the guard’s back. He glanced over his shoulder now and then to make sure we were following until he stopped outside of a black door, which blended into the black venue walls. There were guards posted there too, but no more hordes of people. We sailed through it with our passes, showing them to other guards on the way.
“Thanks so much,” I told him. “What’s your name?”
I half-expected him to say Lurch, but he answered, “Gary. You two be good now.”
Katie grinned. “Oh, we will. We promise. Very good.”
I nudged her as we showed our passes to the sentries outside another door. One of them opened it and let us through, telling us there would be two more checkpoints. He was right—another hallway, and another door flanked by guards, and then up a small flight of stairs.
The last checkpoint door with one guy standing guard opened to a huge room full of people sitting on couches and chairs. A big flat screen TV sat against one wall with a hockey game on. Every surface had food and drink, fruit plates, vegetable trays, cases of water, beer, wine. Everyone talked and laughed together, like they all knew each other. They looked up when the door opened, and then continued their various conversations.
I looked sideways at Katie and she shrugged, reaching for a beer on the end table nearest us and twisting off the lid. “Guess we should just, uh… make ourselves at home… and wait?”
We wedged ourselves together on an ottoman, Katie drinking Heineken and me with an Evian water, which felt like liquid heaven pouring down my throat. My voice was hoarse from screaming. I pretended to be watching the hockey game, feeling awkward and uncomfortable, my gaze skipping around the room, looking for where Rob might come in. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want to see him again.
The hockey game went into overtime while Katie got up to get another beer. I shrugged my jacket off, too warm, and picked fuzz off my black V-neck blouse. I didn’t see him come in, but the reaction of the room told me he was there—somewhere behind me. I turned to look over my shoulder as the whole band entered the room together.
People flocked around them. Several were obviously fans, like us, proud and lucky with their All-Access-Passes hanging around their necks. I wondered idly how you got your hands on one when the lead singer didn’t nearly knock you down several flights of stairs. Katie tipped her beer at me and sauntered over nearer to the band. I turned, but didn’t move from my perch on the ottoman, feeling uncertain and deflated. Despite my dismissal at Katie’s suggestion, a part of me clung to the spark of hope the fantasy might come true, that I might end up in Rob Burns’ hotel
room.
As I watched him talking, signing autographs, joking, and laughing, I saw something I hadn’t in the few moments he was outside with us. This was his public face. Outside, he had been wide open, showing me something real, probably surprised into it by circumstance, but still...
What I was looking at now was clearly a façade. It reminded me of when my mother had taken me backstage at Les Miz. It made me sad and I wanted to leave. I noticed Katie had cornered Tyler and she pressed as close as decency would allow as they talked—probably closer. I knew we wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon, so I sat and sipped my water and decided to just people-watch.
Rob saw me and waved. I half-waved back but didn’t move from my seat. Instead, I drank my Evian, crossing my legs at the ankles and watching, wondering how in the world this situation had manifested. I still felt like I was drifting, floating through. A few girls with autographed tour programs tucked under their arms giggled together as they passed me. They had taken several pictures with Rob and received a myriad of kisses from him. Now Rob looked at me, his gaze steady and attention focused, although he talked to a guy beside him wearing a Trouble t-shirt.
I tipped my Evian bottle, draining the last drops, and turned to the table for more when I felt him standing by me. I don’t know how I knew it was him, but I knew it before I turned and found myself face-to-face with the snap on his jeans.
“Hi, Sabrina.” Then Rob smiled, and I melted. I didn’t want to melt. It just happened. His clothes were different than his concert outfit, I noticed, and his hair was wet. Shower, I thought. Of course, they must shower after the show.
“Hey, Rob.” I smiled and hoped I wasn’t blushing. My cheeks felt hot. “Fantastic show!”
I couldn’t think of anything else to say, although I realized he must have heard that phrase hundreds of times from fans. Probably that many times just tonight. So much for being determined to be unique or unusual and different.
“Thanks,” he replied. “How’s your head?”
“Oh, it’s fine.” I touched the spot where he’d hit me with the door. It was still tender. I’d never even made it to the bathroom to look at it. It occurred to me then, I must look awful—a big cut-open goose egg on my head on top of being sweaty from dancing during the show.
“I’m really sorry about that,” he apologized, sitting on the couch across from me.
“No harm, no foul.” I winked, and then it just slipped out—again. “Remember, I said I wouldn’t sue you or anything.”
I couldn’t believe I said it. Again. But after watching him sign autographs and give kisses and put his arms around strange women, what other conclusion could I come to? The only reason I wasn’t just another face in the crowd was because I might be a liability. A backstage pass was obviously supposed to change that.
He raised his eyebrows. “You must really believe that’s why you’re here.”
“Big rock star, lots of money, a little accident.” I shrugged. “Yeah, so it crossed my mind you might be worried.”
He nodded but didn’t respond. Instead, he reached over and grabbed a cranberry juice from the table, opening it and balancing the lid on his knee as he drank it all in one tip-up.
“Do you want something?” he asked when he finished, waving toward the collection of beverages. “It’s all free.”
“What a life.” I smiled. “I’ll take another water.”
“Come on, live a little.” He grabbed a beer, cracking it open before handing me the bottle.
I took a sip and winced. “I forgot how awful this stuff is.”
“Not a drinker, huh?”
I made another face. “No, not really. Sweet things. Girlie drinks. You know, daiquiris and stuff like that, but I don’t drink much.”
He grinned. “So, I could get you drunk and take advantage of you?”
I felt a slow heat flushing my cheeks. “I’m a cheap date that way.”
“So, tell me, what’s to do in this town?” He leaned back, arms behind his head, and studied me.
“Detroit?” I nearly spit out my mouthful of beer. “Besides seeing the homeless or getting mugged?”
“That bad, huh?” He laughed. “The tour bus doesn’t leave until the day after tomorrow. Guess they should have planned our layover for Florida?”
“Well…” I took another sip of the beer, feeling guilty he’d opened it just for me. “Actually, there is something going on tonight at The Attic in Hamtramck, but I don’t know if you’d be interested.”
“Isn’t that a blues bar?” Rob perked up. “Someone told me about it last time we came through, but I never had a chance to go. I love the blues.”
“You do?” I knew very well he did. I wasn’t a lazy Rob Burns fan. I knew all his influences. “Jimmy Voss is playing a set there tonight.”
Rob sat straight up, the cap from his cranberry juice tumbling from his knee and clattering to the floor. “You’re kidding me! Raymond Voss’ brother? The Bad Dog Blueshounds?”
“The same.” I sipped my beer again. I was getting used to the taste.
Rob looked at his watch. “What time did they start?”
“Oh, I think around eight.” I shrugged. “I wanted to go myself, but ya know, I had tickets to see Trouble.”
Rob leaned forward, his knees touching mine. “Do you think they’re still playing?”
“They play all night, until closing time,” I told him, catching his enthusiasm. I really had wanted to go, and if Trouble weren’t in town, that’s probably where I’d have been tonight. “Uncle Joey Winters plays there every Saturday night.”
“You’re kidding me!” Rob’s jaw dropped. “Can you get me there?”
I glanced at Katie, still standing in the corner, talking to Tyler. He laughed, leaning in to say something into her ear.
“I have a car.” I tried not to think about the possibilities as hot excitement filled my belly. “If that’s what you mean.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Well, I’d hate to drag along my bodyguard for the limo ride. It would be nice to be just an anonymous, regular guy for the night.”
“I think we’ll be safe.” I laughed. “That security guard, Gary, didn’t have a clue! He wasn’t even going to let you into the venue!”
“Do I have a forgettable face?” He gave me a sad pout and I paid no attention to the way it made my breath catch.
“Hardly.” I glanced over at my friend. “Let me check things out with Katie.”
“Sure.” He leaned back again, putting his feet on the ottoman as I stood.
When I explained things to Katie, she jumped at the sudden opportunity, turning to Tyler. “Do you think you could get me home?”
I stared, marveling at her manipulation, trying to hide my smile of surprise.
“Yeah, sure.” Tyler slid an arm around her shoulders. “Not a problem.”
When I returned to the couch, a girl sat close next to Rob, asking him for an autograph.
Signing her ticket, he glanced at me. “All set?”
I nodded, watching the blonde out of the corner of my eye. She gave me a dirty look and I ignored that too.
“Great!” He stood, handing the ticket to the girl, and edging away from the heel snaking up his pant leg.
“How are we going to work this?” I turned my back to the blonde as Rob took my elbow and guided me away from the couch. “I mean, we’ll get mobbed if we walk out that door, right?”
“Oh, definitely.” He slid his hand down to mine and pulled me with him. His fingers were warm, and I felt thick calluses on them, presumably from playing guitar. “That’s why I’m going incognito.”
He put on a baseball cap and a soft brown leather jacket. Then he threw on a pair of sunglasses and turned to look at me, holding his arms out as if to say, “Ta da!”
“Take off the glasses.” I laughed. “You have enough problems seeing where you’re going in the dark without them.”
“Hey, I said I was sorry about that.” He smirked and toss
ed the glasses onto a table. “Okay, here’s what we do. Jim over there will take you to your car and show you where to pick me up. Then he’ll come in and get me. Sound like a plan?”
I saw Jim sitting in one of the recliners, feet up, drinking a Coke and eating a handful of peanuts. “He’s… what, your bodyguard?”
Rob grinned. “Yep. Personal protection agent. That’s the p.c. term.”
I tilted my head, trying to tell if he was kidding or being serious, or maybe a little of both.
“Okay, well let’s get your P.P.A. and go.”
Rob made quick introductions. Jim stood so fast he spilled his peanuts all over the floor. The walk to my car seemed to take forever and we didn’t talk much. I wanted to ask him if he knew if Rob went out with many fans after his shows, but I couldn’t get up the nerve. Jim filled my little passenger seat beside me and directed me to one of the back doors of the venue, near the stairs I’d climbed with Katie just hours before.
Jim left me alone there. I took the opportunity to check my hair and make-up in the rear-view mirror. It wasn’t as bad as I’d feared. I smoothed my long dark hair, curling the ends with my fingers. I glanced at the “no parking” sign my little Kia idled underneath, hoping a cop didn’t come by. Jim returned with Rob and I unlocked the door to let him in. The sunglasses were back again, and I saw a bunch of girls flying down the flight of stairs, pointing at the car.
“Okay, let’s roll.” He was breathless, and I put the car into gear, pulling away from the curb. “Once we’re away from the arena, we’ll be good.”
I looked at him while we stopped at a red light. “Don’t you think the sunglasses make you look even more conspicuous?”
“Yeah.” He tossed them onto the dashboard along with the hat. “Jim insisted. He doesn’t approve of this little trip.”
“He could have tagged along.” I looked around for signs to the expressway. I hated trying to navigate in the dark but didn’t want to appear lost.
