Chasing Cassidy

by D. Kelly

  “Okay.” After helping her up, I pull her in for a gentle hug and place a kiss on the top of her head.

  “You know, Ms. Pope, you agreed to be my girlfriend today. There are certain responsibilities that come along with that title.”

  “Such as?” she asks, playing along with a cute little smirk on her face.

  “Such as accepting and believing you are not only loved but worthy of that love.”

  “Zack…” she says as she tries pulling away from me.

  “Not so fast.” Holding her tightly to my chest, I continue, “It also means you accept and believe with your whole heart that you are exactly the woman I need. You let go of your ill-conceived notions that you don’t belong in my world and realize you are what makes my world go ‘round.”

  Her eyes close and her grip on me tightens. “Don’t shut me out, Cassidy. I’m right here.”

  When she opens her eyes and smiles at me, my heart races. “I’m not shutting you out, Zack, I’m finally letting you in.” She softly brushes her lips across mine at the same time the doorbell rings. I’m at a complete and total loss for anything to say. Her words just lifted my soul into a state of euphoria I’ve never experienced before.

  Keeping her hand in mine, I lead her down the stairs so we can answer the door. She keeps glancing at me and smiling, no doubt because of the biggest, cheesiest smile that’s ever been plastered on my face.

  Pete and Mike are both outside the door with my dad. Oops, I forgot to let Mike know we were expecting company.

  “Good to see you again, Paul,” Pete tells my dad as he turns to leave.

  “You, too, Pete. Thanks for coming to my rescue.” Pete laughs and Mike purses his lips. My dad pats him on the shoulder. “It’s okay, young man, I know you were just doing your job.” Mike nods and Cassidy closes the door behind my dad.

  “What’s with the guard dog? Anything I should be aware of?” he asks, concerned.

  “Nope, just keeping unwanted people out and wanted people in.” Cassidy blushes and shrugs her shoulders when my dad looks at her and laughs. I take the pizza and beer from him and he wraps Cassidy up in a hug.

  “You know, you had us all a bit worried, young lady.”

  “I’m sorry for running, but I just…” She’s grasping for the right words to say without offending him since my mom was her reason for fleeing.

  “You were just run off by my wife. No apologies are necessary, sweetheart. Just promise me you’ll rethink your very bad decision. Priscilla might think she knows what’s best for Zack but in my experience, love finds us, we don’t find it, and no one can stop what’s meant to be.”

  The far off look in his eyes reflects all the sadness he must be feeling. My dad loves my mom just like I love Cassidy—with his whole heart. Right now, he’s having a hard time reconciling her actions with the woman he loves.

  “Come on, let’s go outside. I already set the patio table. Babe, do you want me to open some wine for you?” She shakes her head no and I’m not surprised. Cassidy isn’t much of a drinker, for obvious reasons. I do love when she drinks with me, though, because she loses her inhibitions.

  “No, thanks. I’ll just have some water.”

  My dad opens the French doors since I have my hands full and we all take a seat at the table. The sun is setting and it’s another gorgeous night. A big part of me wants Cassidy to say she’d like to live here for good. Being a Stafford comes with expectations and one of them is working for Stafford Investments, but I’d honestly love to do family law. Actually, I’d love to be an adoption attorney. I’ve never admitted that to anyone but maybe I should.

  Cassidy serves us all pizza and my dad opens the beers and passes me one. “You guys have an amazing view here. Have you decided if you’re going to stay here or go back home yet?”

  Cassidy chokes on her pizza and I pat her back and pass her a bottle of water. “Cassidy, dear, you should know Zack confides in me often. As much as I hate to admit it, because I’d miss the hell out of you both, I think you need to consider staying here. You have your entire lives in front of you and the things holding you back from being happy aren’t things that should matter.”

  Again, that faraway look takes over my dad’s features and he sighs. “It’s time I tell you kids a story that’s long overdue.” He’s looking out into the ocean, but I know whatever he’s about to say is significant.

  “My mother was very uptight and not very emotional. She loved me, but in her own way, and I swore my kids would know love the way I wanted to be loved. The way I saw my friends being loved by their parents. My dad worked long hours and for most of my life, he and my mom never even shared a bedroom. It’s probably why I was an only child.”

  Pausing briefly, he takes a long draw from his beer. “Being an only child came with certain expectations. I didn’t have choices. I had to take over the company, had to travel in the proper social circles, and was expected to marry a girl with a similar background.”

  He turns to look at us and smiles. “Did you know your mother grew up in a trailer park?” Before I even answer, he shakes his head and continues, “Of course you didn’t. Priscilla Stafford doesn’t want anyone aware of what she considers skeletons in her closet.

  “When I met your mother, I swear it was love at first sight. I was lost and driving through her park, looking for someone who could give me directions. She was covered in dirt, helping her mother plant rose bushes. As I pulled up in front of her house, she stood up and wiped the sweat from her brow, leaving a streak of dirt in its place.”

  He chuckles with the memory. “The sun was shining on her and I swear she looked like an angel. It was so refreshing to see a girl her age just digging in the dirt without a care in her mind. When I got out of the car and asked if she could help, your grandma saw the smile that filled her features and asked if I’d like a glass of lemonade since it was so hot out and I’d been lost for a while. Your grandma admitted to me later she’d never seen your mom smile so brightly before and she recognized the love-struck look on my face immediately. She thought we were a match made in heaven. That woman was a saint, God bless her soul.”

  My grandma was the best. Even as a young boy, I always wondered why she and my mom were so different.

  “After that day, your mother and I were pretty much inseparable and I’d never been happier in my life. It didn’t matter to me that she didn’t have money or hadn’t grown up with a large social standing. The only thing that mattered to me was I loved her and she loved me. Priscilla and I wanted the same things from life. Love, happiness, a family, and stability.”

  Taking a long pause, he looks over at Cassidy. “I’m going to get off track here for a moment but indulge an old man for a minute. Cassidy, you’ve been a part of our family since you were six years old. We’ve always treated you like one of our own kids. Now, I know you have your own issues and we’ll get to those in a bit, but right now I want to tell you what I told Priscilla when I found out how she had been shaming you for not being ‘of proper social standing.’ ”

  Cassidy’s eyes grow bigger and she clutches my hand for support. “You come from a wealthy family, you just weren’t raised like it other than your education. However, young lady, you’ve been included in every upper crust function known to man for as far back as I can remember. You’ve been a guest of ours at every event we’ve ever had. And no, you’re not snooty and you don’t have your head stuck in a fashion magazine, nor do you worry about having the latest in designer merchandise. That’s what makes you refreshing and unique. You’ve got more experience with the ins and outs of society than Priscilla had at your age. For your own reasons, and unfortunately, for reasons my wife implanted in your mind, you feel like an outsider and for that I’m truly sorry. There’s absolutely no reason you wouldn’t belong, not only as part of our family, but also the ridiculous high-class society we’re a part of because you always have been.”

  A tear falls from Cassidy’s eye and I brush it away before softl
y asking her, “Do you believe me now?”

  With a shrug of her shoulders, she replies sweetly, “I’m getting there, I think.”

  My dad smiles and nods then proceeds to open two more beers for us. Once opened, he takes a sip and leans back in his chair, getting comfortable before continuing his story. I’m finally learning some of my parents’ history and eager for him to keep talking.

  “Now, my mother was a formidable opponent. She detested Priscilla from the moment she set eyes on her. She was also quite vocal about trailer trash not being good enough for a Stafford. My father didn’t care. He knew I had a good head on my shoulders and told me to do what made me happy. In a drunken stupor one night, he admitted that had he followed his heart instead of his parents’ wishes, he would have never married my mother. But he also begrudgingly admitted he was glad he did because I came from their union. So I went and bought the ring I knew Priscilla would love and I proposed to her. Like you, Cassidy, she was hesitant to accept at first.”

  I’ve never seen my dad be so reflective before; it almost seems as if this is painful for him.

  “Priscilla was determined to have a better life than the one she’d been raised in. I’d never understood it because I’d have traded in all the money in the world to have love like her mother gave to her. And it’s not like she was dating me for my money, not at all, we were in love. She just came to realize she could have all the things she never did growing up, one of those things being a college education. So Priscilla became a worthy opponent and countered my mother at every turn. She learned etiquette, fashion, how to act like a snob at parties, you name it and she learned it. At first it was a joke between us, how she was beating my mother at her own game. When she wasn’t trying to win my mother’s heart, she was the girl I’d fallen in love with.”

  “As time passed by, my mother relented and we were married. We bought our own home, decorated it together, traveled a bit, and lived in a blissful love. A few months after we married, I brought up school but your mother decided she didn’t want to go to school anymore. To say I was shocked was an understatement. She simply said she wanted to make a home for us and be a stay at home mom once we had kids. In the meantime, my mother was introducing her to the country club and different women’s functions as well as charitable organizations. I let it go because she seemed happy, but after so long of butting heads with my mother, she was beginning to act like her and I started to worry.”

  This is where we’re finally going to find out why my mom is the way she is. I’m not sure if I’m ready for this but it seems my dad needs to get this out and talk to someone and I’m happy it’s me.

  “Shortly after she got pregnant with you and Rylee, we were ecstatic. When we found out we were having twins, she immediately dragged me to the store so we could start decorating. Even though she said she wanted it to be a surprise, your mother was adamant she felt like we were having one of each and she shopped accordingly.”

  He laughs heartily with the happy memory and I’m glad to know we were wanted. I never felt like we weren’t but it’s always good to hear.

  “During her pregnancy, she and your grandmother butted heads more than usual and due to your mother’s hormones, they had quite a few heated discussions. Your grandmother insisted on a wet nurse, a nanny, a midwife, and a home birth, all of which your mother adamantly declined. At first, your mom tried to do it all but we did eventually end up with a nanny. In the beginning, your mom still did most of it and only got the nanny when you were both demanding things at the same time. But as you got older, your grandmother pushed and pushed until you spent more time with the nanny, and your mom spent more time with your grandmother doing all the things Stafford wives are supposed to do.”

  We both glance over at Cassidy and I swear she is about ten shades paler than she was a few minutes ago. This is the kind of stuff that terrifies her. I shoot my dad a pleading look to correct himself and he does.

  “I’ve never understood why the Stafford women were expected to fill their lives with charitable events and social functions. That is why, no matter how much your mother and grandmother pushed, I never let them pull Rylee into that world. She needs to make her own choices, and to some extent, so do you, Zack. When I die, the company will be yours and Rylee’s to run or to manage or even to sell if you choose to. You were raised knowing the legacy of the Stafford men and without any coercion, you followed along in all of our footsteps. Now that you’re on an indefinite leave of absence, you need to think about that and decide if this path is the right one for you. It’s your life and I want you to live it in a way that makes you happy. The company won’t fold if you’re not working for it or if you’re just contracting your services to it.”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about that, actually, and I’m not sure what I want to do right now. I’ll let you know in the next few weeks what we decide. So, Dad, what happened after I left the wedding?”

  “Yes, the wedding… I was getting to that. Over the years, your mother began to emulate my mother. Not as severe but close enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth. For all her faults, I still love your mother to pieces. And her coolness typically doesn’t extend into the bedroom at night or when we’re alone together. The woman I love is still in there, she just buries herself under a tough exterior when people are around. I’ve put it up with it for years because I love her and she’s doing what she thinks is best, so I let a lot of things go.

  “Cassidy, I really had no clue she was treating you so poorly. In fact, I didn’t know the extent of it all until Zack left the church. Priscilla snapped and I don’t necessarily think it was because of the wedding. I think it’s from years of burying the person she really wants to be. She’s hiding under a shield of her own creation. To say I was shocked to find out she had been treating you worse than my mother treated her is an understatement. I let her know how very disappointed in her I was and told her, in no uncertain terms, that she is to leave the two of you alone to figure out your own life. We argued about some things I’ll circle back to in a moment and then we argued about us. After all these years, I called her out on her coolness and lack of affection. Told her I missed the sweet and kind girl I fell in love with and let her know that although I’m still very much in love with her, I’d rather have the version of her I fell in love with back in my arms.”

  A hushed silence settles over us as the moon begins to peek out in the sky. My heart aches for my dad. To lose the woman he loves, but technically not lose her at all, must be difficult.

  “This is all my fault, Mr. Stafford, I’m so very sorry.” Cassidy sobs and finally breaks down. My father, being the man he is, circles around and pulls her into his embrace.

  “Cassidy, this has nothing to do with you. This has to do with my wife and her issues. And please, for the love of God, how many times do I need to ask you to call me Paul?” I watch as he strokes her back and hugs her while she cries it all out. Another step. Something Cassidy never had—the unconditional love of a parent.

  After a while, she stops crying and my dad releases her, taking his seat again. “We are all victims of circumstance and some of us have better circumstances than others, but we are all affected by our own demons. This next part of the story is not something I want either of you to feel badly about or reflect back on with sadness. It is part of our family history and Priscilla dealt with it as she saw fit. Some of it I was aware of and other parts I was not, and while I don’t agree with her keeping any of us in the dark about it, it was ultimately her choice.

  He stretches out in his chair and finishes off his beer before speaking. “All through your childhood, Priscilla and I knew your parents were alcoholics. Rylee and Zack adored you and so did we by the time we found out. As parents, you have to find a balance with your children’s friends. Decide how much time they can spend together and when they should be apart. Sometime around Rylee and Zack’s seventh birthday, Priscilla went to speak with your mother. The details of why escape me, but needles
s to say, that’s when she found out about your parents’ drinking problem.”

  Cassidy’s hand is trembling in mine. Knowing she needs extra comfort, I pull her into my lap as my dad continues.

  “When Priscilla came home from your house, we talked a lot. We decided right then and there that we would take you under our wing as much as we could without pushing any boundaries. When you have absent parents, they rarely know what you’re doing so we banked on that and on their willingness to let you go on trips and such with us to give them a break. I’ll be the first to admit there was probably more we could have done. We could have reported them to child protective services but as long as you were visiting daily, we assumed you were safe. You were Zack and Rylee’s best friend and we thought interfering might have caused more harm than good.”

  With a sigh, he runs his hands through his hair and paces for a moment before sitting back down. “It wasn’t until the night you two were mugged that we found out the whole truth. Cassidy, I understand why you couldn’t, but I wish you had told us he was beating you. I would have moved heaven and earth to get you into our custody.”

  “How… how did you know?” she stutters, completely stunned.

  “Priscilla came back to the hospital that night to try and convince Zack to come home. When she was standing outside, your room the door was cracked and she heard Zack talking to you while you were unconscious. It had been a long time since I’d seen her show emotion but that night she came home and cried. Knowing what had been happening to you triggered something in her. We spent the night talking and decided to talk to you both about it when you were feeling better. It took everything we had to trust Zack knew what he was doing and not go to the police to report it.”

  “So you knew he was the one who beat me that night, too.” My question is really just a statement. A few things are starting to make a lot more sense now.

  “Yes, and I was hoping you’d talk to me about it. You usually talk to me about everything, so I figured there must be a good reason why you were keeping this so close to the vest. In any case, as time passed, Priscilla and I noticed Cassidy was practically living at the house so we decided to let it go unless something else happened. At the wedding, she did admit that around this time she started dropping hints to you that maybe you weren’t the one for Zack. I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry. Apparently, she was concerned your parents would become an embarrassing issue. Yet, at the same time, she still loved you and wanted you as part of the family. She hadn’t fully decided yet if you and Zack should or shouldn’t be together, she just knew if she planted enough hints maybe you would make the decision for her.”