His to Bind

by Charlotte Byrd

  “Ellie, oh my god, how are you? Are you okay?” He takes me into his arms. The sweet scent of vanilla takes all of my worries away. I nod and tears start to roll down my cheeks. He wipes them off and then buries my head in his shoulder.

  “It’s going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay.”

  It takes me a few moments to calm down a bit. But I finally get it together. I wipe my eyes and then rub the remnants of the wetness on my dress. Oh my God. I’m still wearing my fucking wedding dress. What a sight! A bride on her wedding day lying in a holding cell. How pathetic. And wrong.

  “How are you…standing?” I ask after a moment. “Are you okay?”

  Aiden smiles.

  “A little tired, but okay.”

  “Oh my God.” I wrap my arms around him. So, he’s okay. Almost all okay.

  “I was only using the wheelchair around the hospital as a precaution. I’m okay. Medically that is.”

  I know what he means.

  “Take me away from here,” I say, taking his hand. He gives a squeeze and leads me outside. I don't know if everything is going to be okay for good. All I know is that it’s okay for now. And that’s good enough.

  Chapter 3 - Ellie

  When we deal with lawyers…

  What follows is largely a blur. Days pass as we meet with my lawyers, or rather the lawyers that Aiden hired for me. They devise a strategy. They make calls. They change the strategy. Finally, Bill Whitney goes to have yet another chat with the District Attorney. When he comes back, he isn’t as calm as he was before.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Bill demands, furrowing his brows. Aiden and I are sitting around the hotel suite. We ordered room service. The food is still sitting under those silver domes on the delivery tray.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask.

  “He said that they have your journal.”

  “My journal?”

  “You’ve kept an online journal. You wrote that you wanted to kill Blake.”

  “Oh, that.”

  “Yes, that,” he says. The tone of his voice is scolding. Disapproving. Who does he think he is to talk to me this way? Especially, since he has no idea what he’s talking about.

  “It’s nothing,” I say with a shrug. “I was just venting.”

  “Well, it looks like premeditation.”

  “Well, it wasn’t. I was angry at Blake and I was just expressing myself.”

  Bill paces around the room. “That’s what I’m trying to convey to the DA, but so far he’s not buying it.”

  “So, what does that mean?” Aiden asks.

  “He thinks, or at least, he acts like he has a case. I’m trying to convince him that he doesn’t. If I can, then he will drop the charges.”

  I take a bite of my salad.

  “The problem is that these DAs have gotten really big heads. With all the mandatory minimum laws it’s no longer the judges who are in charge of making decisions. It’s the DAs. If they decide to charge you, if they decide that they have a good enough case, then they move forward.”

  “But this has nothing do with a mandatory minimum.”

  “Yes, I know. If you are tried and convicted, you will go away for a very long, long time.”

  His words send shivers through my body.

  “It’s just that the mandatory minimum laws have given district attorneys way too much power and they are a bit drunk on it. Especially, this one.”

  I take a few more bites of my salad. The chewing is so loud inside of my head that it somewhat drowns out all the fears and the doubts.

  “But it’s going to be okay, right?” Aiden asks.

  “This online journal isn’t a good thing. I really wish you hadn’t written those things.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. But honestly, I was just venting. Writing is my way of expressing myself.”

  Bill shakes his head.

  “Yes, I know,” he says, raising his eyebrows. Another sign of disapproval. What the hell is this guy’s problem?

  “What does that mean?” I ask.

  “Well, your writing is kind of a problem. You see, you’re not the most sympathetic defendant out there.”

  I shake my head and narrow my eyes.

  “Why are you giving me that look?” Bill asks. “You don’t believe me?”

  “I don’t really appreciate your tone, Bill,” Aiden steps in. “What exactly do you mean?”

  “Your girlfriend writes porn. If this goes to trial, the jurors aren’t really going to understand that.”

  I gasp.

  “I do not write porn. I write romance novels.”

  “A series of novels where a woman is auctioned off to the highest bidder? With extensive sex scenes? With bondage, and anal plugs?”

  His words make my skin crawl.

  “I’m sorry, Ellie, I know that this is the twenty-first century and all and women are out there reading and watching Fifty Shades of Grey. But there’s no guarantee that regular women, normal women, who will be on your jury will understand that. Especially, when the DA reads some of your writing on the stand.”

  I shake my head and look away from him. Is he really saying this to me? My cheeks flush with anger.

  “How dare you?” I say, feeling my blood starting to boil. “I write romance novels. Yes, they have sex scenes in them. But so what? That’s what people do, you know. Have sex. There’s nothing wrong with that. My characters are in love. My stories are about how no matter what happens, you can get through anything as long as you have love.”

  “That may be the case, but that’s not what the jury is going to see. The DA will read some of your literary stylings and paint you with the brush of a sex maniac. He will say that you are not the norm. That only crazy, sex-crazed women would read the smut that you write. He will make you into a villain.”

  “I don’t like the tone of your voice, Bill,” Aiden says. “Can we tone it down a bit, please?”

  “I’m just telling you the truth. But I guess that’s too much for you two.”

  “No, what you’re saying is your opinion.”

  “My expert opinion. After many years of legal experience.”

  “Bill, I hired you to represent Ellie in this case. I did not hire you to berate her and make her feel bad about what she does.”

  “No, the jury will do that all on their own.”

  I stare at him. His bald head. His pin-like eyes. His soft jaw and protruding stomach. Suddenly, it hits me. He is getting a kick out of this. He is actually getting off on putting me down.

  “Do you have a problem with me?” I ask after a moment.

  “No, of course not.”

  “Because it sounds like you do. Do you have a problem with my writing?”

  “Your writing? I couldn’t care less about your writing.”

  “So, why is it making you so mad?” I ask. I’m trying to stay calm. But below the surface, I’m fuming.

  “I’m not mad. I’m just expressive.”

  I shake my head.

  “Listen, you can do whatever you want,” Bill says. “I’m just telling you what people are going to think about your so-called books.”

  “My so-called books?” I repeat his words back to him. Something about this man isn’t right. Not at all.

  “Listen, Ellie, I’ve read your books. Some of them. What I could get through anyway,” he says, rubbing his temples. “They are not my cup of tea.”

  “They are not written for you,” I say.

  “But you think you can just write anything you want and publish it and put it out there, huh?”

  Chapter 4 - Ellie

  When the truth comes out…

  I stare at him, dumbfounded. Yes, in fact, I know that I can write something and publish it if I want to. Something’s wrong here. This guy, Bill Whitney, has a problem with me and it has nothing to do with the case. No, this goes much deeper than that.

  “Yes, I clearly do think I can do that,” I say sternly. “What I mean is, that I write the
stories that I want to write. I publish them. People seem to like them. Love them actually. I have a number of people writing me how much they enjoy my books. But what am I doing wrong again?”

  “So, this, what you are doing, you think this makes you an author?”

  I put my fork down and lean back in my chair. I glance over at Aiden, who seems to be just as dumbfounded by the whole situation as I am.

  “Yes, that’s exactly what it makes me.”

  “Agh, I’m sorry,” he grunts, throwing his hands up in the air. “But I don’t think so. Writers are vetted. They work hard on their writing. They spend hours editing and proofreading.”

  “And who told you that I haven’t?”

  “They submit their manuscripts to agents. They get dozens of rejection letters. They keep submitting until finally someone takes them on.”

  “Bill, I think we’re getting off track here,” Aiden says, trying to veer the conversation back to the case. But I put my hand on his. I want to hear this.

  “Or you can do all that work and just put the book out yourself,” I say. “I won’t lie. I did what you are talking about as well. But no one took me on. So, one day, I said, fuck it. I’ll just put my books out directly to the readers. Who knows, maybe they’ll like them. And guess what? They did. And guess what? That’s what EL James did, too. Sometimes, it takes a whole bunch of readers to get someone in the publishing industry to finally take an interest in your books. They can be a bit behind the times.”

  Bill shakes his head.

  “No, I refuse to understand that.”

  “Well, you don’t really have to,” I say sarcastically. “You could just accept it, like gravity.”

  Perhaps, that was a bit too much of a sarcastic smartass comment, but he’s really getting on my nerves now. He’s supposed to be my attorney. We’re not supposed to be here debating the state of the publishing industry together. I mean, what the hell does he care about it anyway? Unless…

  “It just pisses me off,” Bill says. “I worked and worked on my thriller. A good one, too. Nothing worse than what John Grisham writes. And no one cares. I mean, I submitted it to everyone. And then I published it myself. Crickets on both accounts. Nothing. Sold maybe a few copies to family and friends.”

  I can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. So, his problem with me is that he’s angry that his book isn’t selling? Yet, instead of asking me for help, for some advice about how to advertise, he just goes on a rant about my own work? What an asshole.

  “I think I need a new attorney,” I say, turning to Aiden. Normally, I would keep my mouth shut. Bite my tongue. But not this time. I have too much on the line and I’ve been through too damn much. I’m no longer the quiet, meek girl I was before. No, this time, when someone offends me on purpose, they’re going to hear about it.

  “What?” Bill asks with a slight gasp.

  “I need a new attorney,” I say loudly. The tone of my voice is definitive. Decided. My mind is made up.

  “What are you talking about?” Bill asks. He is only now realizing that he has underestimated me.

  “They arrested me for a crime I didn’t commit. The last thing I need right now is some wannabe writer complaining about the quality of my writing just because you can’t sell your book. That’s not my problem. And I don’t need you representing me if you feel that way about me.”

  Bill’s mouth nearly drops open. “I didn’t mean anything by it,” he starts to say, but I don’t want to hear it. I’ve listened enough.

  “I can’t trust you,” I say. “You go off on a rant about my writing. First, you say the jury won’t understand me. Won’t sympathize with me. But then the truth comes out. You are just a jealous asshole who wants to put me down. Well, I don’t have time to deal with your ego. I need an attorney who believes in me. He doesn’t have to like my writing, but his goal should be to have them let me go free. Not to help them put me in jail.”

  “That’s not my goal,” he mumbles.

  I just roll my eyes. “Sure sounds like it.”

  And with that, the conversation is essentially over. Bill continues to make an effort to explain himself, but just ends up digging himself into a deeper hole. He talks and talks as Aiden walks him out of the hotel room. But none of the words he says go one step in the direction of trying to explain how he’s going to attempt to deal with the District Attorney. Instead, he just tries to explain himself and apologize without actually apologizing.

  After Aiden closes the door, he walks over and takes me into his arms.

  “You are…amazing,” he whispers.

  I smile and kiss him on the lips.

  “That was unexpected,” he continues.

  “You aren’t mad?”

  “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

  “That I fired this wonderful lawyer you found for me,” I say. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful.”

  “Oh, hell no. That guy was an ass. And the sooner we got rid of him the better.”

  “Really?”

  Aiden presses his lips to mine and, for a brief moment, I feel like it’s all going to be okay.

  “We’re going to find someone much better tomorrow. Someone who will believe in you and have a good rapport with the DA.”

  “I like that,” I say.

  Chapter 5 - Ellie

  When we have sex…

  I never knew what people were talking about when they said that there was a comfortable silence between them until I met Aiden. Around him, I don’t feel the need to chat non-stop and fill the air around us with useless words. It feels good to just be with him.

  I lie down on the bed and Aiden lies down next to me. He practically nuzzles up next to me, putting his head on my arm. I glance down and see how his biceps flex with each movement and something stirs within me.

  “Hey there,” I say with a wink.

  Aiden narrows his eyes, assessing the situation. “Hey there,” he responds.

  I decide against beating around the bush. “I want you.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really,” I say.

  “Hmm, I don’t really know if I’m into it right now,” he says. Is he joking? I can’t tell.

  “Ellie,” he says, turning my head toward him. “I’m not serious, you know.”

  A big smile comes over my face. The goofy expression on his face disappears and he leans in and brushes a soft kiss against my lips.

  “I missed you,” I whisper. I look up at him. There’s that familiar gaze of adoration. It’s more than just infatuation, something from afar. No, this is different. He’s looking at me and really seeing me. For who I am.

  “I want you,” I whisper. He closes his eyes and then opens them again.

  “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” he says. I know with every fiber of my being that he’s telling the truth.

  Aiden leans close to me. He presses his lips onto mine and pushes his body onto mine. His lips are now forceful. Stronger. More powerful. I feel every muscle in his body and the strength of him is disarming. It’s as if every part of him is saying that nothing bad can ever happen with this man by my side.

  His kisses get harder and harder. Each one borders more and more on pain, but the good kind. The kind that sends shivers through my whole body. As I push back at him, I feel him rise above me, just a little bit, and then we melt onto the bed.

  Quickly, our bodies begin to move as one. I feel his manhood in its full glory, bulging out of his pants. I take it out. I have to see it. I need to feel it. His hands make their way down my body. There is no trepidation or hesitation. He’s an expert now. He knows exactly what I like.

  A few quick movements and I’m suddenly completely undressed. He is shirtless and his hard chest is heaving over me. He slides his hands back up and across the curves of my hips. He kneels down and runs his tongue up around my hipbones. He veers north toward my belly button, teasing me and making me wet. Then he makes a quick turn south and head
s toward my thighs.

  As I lie down on my back, I see the way that my body rises and falls with each breath. I close my legs forcefully to keep myself from getting too aroused, but it’s too late.

  “I’m so…hot,” I whisper, burying my hands in his hair.

  Aiden continues to tease me. He kisses me along my non-existent panty line, well below my belly bottom, but not quite all the way in between my legs. Before he even reaches inside of me, I feel a wave of pleasure start to build in between my thighs.

  “Oh, wow, you are aroused,” Aiden says. Before I can confirm, he thrusts himself inside of me releasing a waterfall of emotion.

  “Aiden!” I whisper breathlessly. Riding the wave, I grab onto Aiden’s firm buttocks and squeeze as hard as I can. They feel firm and powerful in my hands and I use them to guide him in and out of me.

  “That was fast,” Aiden whispers in my ear, kissing my neck. Now he is comfortably inside of me, making himself at home. This is the way it’s supposed to be, I think. This feels so right.

  But as he glides in and out, slowly at first, and then faster and faster, the area in between my legs starts to beg for him. I yearn for him.

  I feel his whole body tense up as his movements get faster and faster. I wait for him to climax, enjoying each moment, and then another wave of pleasure thrusts through me.

  “Oh..Aiden!” I moan his name in pleasure.

  Chapter 6 - Ellie

  Later in bed…

  Lying in the afterglow of all that romance, and love, and sex all balled into one, I feel much better about my whole predicament. There’s something about releasing all those endorphins that suddenly makes it feel like everything’s going to be okay in the end. Besides, I’m kind of a sap. Optimist, if you will. I believe that everything is going to be okay in the end. And if it’s not, then it’s not the end.

  I glance over at Aiden who has his head propped up with his hand. He’s lying on his side with the sheet just covering him a little bit. I bite my lower lip because I sort of want him again.