No Regrets

by Joy Argento

  We shuffled down the narrow section between the seats to the aisle. “Won’t Claire be expecting you back soon?”

  I didn’t have to pick Annie up until five, and Andrew got a ride from the Hendersons who lived next door and had a son in lacrosse as well. Claire would be fine without me for another couple of hours. “I have some time before I have to get home. But I don’t want to keep you if you have other plans.” I would have been disappointed if she said she did.

  “Nope. Maddie is finally free and not shadowing me. I have to come up with a better punishment. That one is harder on me than it is on her.”

  “What’s shadowing?” We worked our way through the thongs of people leaving the theater and headed in the direction of my car parked in the garage across the street.

  “She got suspended from school last week for fighting.”

  “Ugh.”

  “Exactly. I wasn’t going to let her make a vacation out of it, so I made her shadow me. When I went to work, she came with me and I gave her jobs to do. When I went to the store, she had to come with me. Everywhere I went she was my shadow.”

  “Oh yeah. I can see why that would be hard on you. How did she feel about it?”

  “She hated it of course, but it wouldn’t have been a punishment if she hadn’t.”

  I found my car right away on the second level of the garage and pushed the button on the key fob to unlock the doors. It was always my job to keep track of where we parked whenever we went someplace because for some reason Claire had a hard time with that. But I didn’t mind.

  “Where is she today, now that she has her freedom back?”

  “Believe it or not she opted to help my mom with gardening.”

  “Where would you like to go? Late lunch? Early drink? Middle of the day cup of coffee?”

  Beth laughed. I liked the sound of it. “So many choices,” she said. “Hmm.” She tapped her finger against her lips that held a hint of red lipstick. “How about coffee? No. A drink. Are you hungry? We could do lunch.”

  “That’s what I like. A woman that knows what she wants.” I smiled wide at her, hoping she would get the joke.

  She did of course. She slapped my arm playfully. “Hey.”

  “Hay is for horses.”

  “What are you, twelve?”

  I shook my head. “A casualty of having a nine-year-old daughter. I need to stop quoting her.” I backed out of the parking spot and pointed my car in the direction of the exit.

  “I think it’s adorable.” I warmed to her bright smile. “If I quoted my daughter more often I would have to add a whole lot more swear words to my vocabulary.”

  “No shit?”

  “No shit.”

  I tried to suppress a giggle, but it bubbled out anyway. It was refreshing having someone to talk to and especially someone who got my humor and played along. We chatted nonstop until I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant that Beth suggested.

  “Tell me more about you,” Beth said once we were seated and had placed our orders. “How did you and Claire meet?”

  I knew sometimes Claire didn’t make a good first impression. She was the type of person you had to get to know before you warmed up to her. I wanted Beth to like her. It was important to me that my friends and partner got along.

  “It was classic really. I saw her across a crowded room. It was love at first sight.” I paused for effect. “The room was the emergency room. The crowd was made up of people waiting to be seen by a doctor. And the love at first sight statement I made up. It actually took about twenty sights before I fell for her. I really made her work for it.”

  Beth laughed. “Why were you in the emergency room?”

  “Annie was spiking a fever. Claire was actually ahead of us in line to be seen but insisted we go first. She had sprained her wrist wrestling a bear trying to save a puppy.” I smiled waiting for Beth’s reaction.

  “A bear?” She laughed again. “You’re one hell of a storyteller.”

  “That’s the story Claire likes to tell. That’s what she told me and Annie that day. She had Annie in stitches, giggling her head off, as Claire described the bear in great detail. The truth is far less interesting. She tripped over a rock. I was so grateful she let us go ahead of her that I gave her my business card and told her if there was any way I could repay her to let me know. She called me the next day and asked me out.”

  “Wow. That’s quite a story. So how did you make her work for it?”

  “For quite a while, I told her I just wanted to be friends. She pulled out all the stops, flowers, romantic dinners, gifts. I think she fell for me before I fell for her. But when I did, I fell hard.” Claire had been extremely sweet and attentive our first few years together. The business of our everyday lives had taken some of that away. But I knew deep down that sweetness was still there. It surfaced from time to time, and I was sure it would come back around in full force when life calmed down for the both of us. It the meantime it was nice to have a friend to do things with.

  Beth

  I had really enjoyed the play and even more so my time with Jodi. Her take on Claire was interesting. She certainly didn’t present herself in the same light that Jodi portrayed her. Of course, I had barely met the woman. I decided to set aside my judgment of her and give her a fair chance. If Jodi and I were going to be friends, and it certainly looked like we were, then Claire was going to be in my life too.

  My phone rang out a familiar ring tone as I pulled my car onto the expressway on my way to pick up Maddie. I pressed the answer button on my steering wheel connecting my phone to the car speaker. “Hey, sis.”

  “Where are you?” Jen asked without the need for formalities. “I went to get my hair cut and they said you weren’t working today. Don’t tell me you finally decided to get a life.”

  I shook my head, despite the fact that she couldn’t see me. She was right. I didn’t have much of a life lately. Well, more than lately. I hadn’t had much of a life outside of work and my family in a couple of years. “As a matter of fact, I went to a play with a new friend today.”

  “I am so glad to hear that. Did you have fun?”

  “I did. I’m on my way to Mom’s to pick up Maddie. Want to meet me there and I’ll order from Grubhub later for dinner?”

  “Sounds like a plan. Roger is in Seattle again on business. See you in a bit.” Her sister had hit gold when she met Roger. With her golden blond hair and bright blue eyes, she could have gotten just about any guy she wanted. Many had chased her. She let Roger catch her. They’d been married eight years, and if reality matched my perception, they had a rock-solid marriage.

  Maddie was in the kitchen washing dirt from the garden off her hands when I let myself in the side door at my mom’s. “Hey,” she said with a slight sideways glance.

  “Hi, honey. Where’s Grandma?”

  “Upstairs changing. You know how dirty she manages to get when she works in the garden. I don’t know how she does it. It always looks like she rolled around in the mud.”

  I chuckled, both at the thought of my mom rolling in the garden and the fact that this was probably the most Maddie had cared to share with me in the past few weeks. I hoped this was the start of a new trend. But I knew how fickle teenagers could be at this age and set my expectations accordingly low. “How did it go today?” I asked, hoping to keep the conversation going.

  “Good. We weeded everything including the front flower bed.”

  “I noticed how nice it looked when I pulled in.”

  “Maddie was a lot of help today,” my mom said as she joined us in the kitchen. She still had a smudge of dried dirt on the side of her nose. I pulled a piece of paper towel off the roll, wet it, and wiped it off. “Thanks,” she said. “Did I miss anywhere else?” She turned her head from side to side.

  “Nope. That’s it. I’m glad Maddie was a help today.”

  “Knock. Knock.” My sister entered the kitchen, stopping to give Maddie a hug.

  “This is a ni
ce surprise,” Mom said. “All my girls together.”

  “Beth invited me to dinner. Didn’t she tell you?”

  “I just got here myself. Didn’t get a chance yet.” I turned to my mom. “I invited Jen for dinner.”

  “I heard,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll have to see what I can whip up.”

  “No need,” Jen said. “Beth is treating us to Grubhub. Right, Bethy?” I hated the nickname she’d given me as a kid. Of course, she usually added an insulting word to it, Messy Bethy—making it sound more like Methy Bethy. Or Deafy Bethy. She dropped the insult when we were teenagers. Thank God.

  I’d asked her a few times not to call me that, but once in a while, it still slipped out. I chose to ignore it. “I did. I had a late lunch, but I thought I could order something in a little while.”

  “Can we get Chinese?” Maddie piped in.

  We spent the next fifteen minutes discussing where we should order from and what each person wanted. Eighty-five dollars later, the meal was ordered, and we were seated around the kitchen table in the same spots we sat in when we were growing up. The table had been replaced since then. The scratches that Maddie put in it dragging her metal toy truck across it when she was three, or the dent left when Jen dropped a large rock she’d found for a school project, only a memory now. The rest of the kitchen was also shiny and new. The yellow flowered wallpaper replaced with a pale green paint and the old kitchen cabinets now sported new oak doors with brass knobs. The outward appearance of the kitchen had definitely changed, but the warmth and love that I felt sitting there with my family certainly hadn’t.

  “How was the play?” Mom asked.

  “Really good. It was so nice to take a day off.”

  “And who’s this new friend? With the schedule you’ve been keeping lately with your salon I’m surprised you had time to meet anyone.”

  “Actually, she’s the one who made my new sign.”

  “I saw that today. It looks great. By the way, I still need my haircut.” Jen shook her locks for emphasis. “But I interrupted you. Sorry. Tell us about your friend. What’s her name?”

  I smiled at the thought of Jodi. I truly did enjoy her company. I proceeded to tell them about her, leaving out the mention of Claire or the fact that she was gay. I’m not sure why. It wasn’t that I thought she was lesser because she was a lesbian. Maybe I was afraid they would think less of her if I mentioned it. I silently scolded myself for the omission.

  “So, she’s married?” my mom asked, coming to that conclusion, I’m sure, because I mentioned Jodi’s kids.

  I had another opportunity to fill in the blanks and once again failed. “Divorced.”

  The sound of the doorbell stopped any further questions. Maddie got up to collect our food as my mom rose to get plates and silverware.

  My mind went once again to Jodi. I had the feeling we would be good friends. At least I hoped we would.

  Jodi

  “Hi, Mom,” I said, hitting the speaker button and setting my phone on the counter as I loaded the last of the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. “How are you?” Of all the people I missed in Denver, I missed my mother the most. Our regular once a week lunch had been replaced by a once a week phone call.

  “I’m doing well, honey. How are you? How are the kids? Claire?” She liked to cram all of her questions in at once. I smiled at the familiar exchange. I filled her in on everyone, told her about the latest happenings with my business, and asked her about my dad. She got me up to date on all the hottest news in Denver.

  Claire came up behind me just as I hung up the phone. To my surprise, she wrapped her arms around me and said in a low voice, “What’s on the agenda for today?” She hadn’t initiated any kind of physical contact in quite a while. Even a hug was hard to come by these days. She had a rare day off and the kids were still at school.

  I turned in her arms to face her. “What would you like to be on the agenda?” I responded in the most seductive voice I could muster. My lips were inches from hers. I wanted to kiss her but held back. I wanted her to take that step toward me. I held my breath. Hoping.

  She let me go and took a step around me, grabbing a piece of bacon from the plate I hadn’t put in the refrigerator yet. “I was hoping you would go to the antique store in Canandaigua with me.” She stuffed the bacon in her mouth.

  “Oh. I was hoping you had something else in mind.”

  “Like what?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “So?”

  I wiped my hands on the dish towel. “What?”

  “Want to go to look at antiques with me?”

  At least she was asking me to be with her. That meant something. Didn’t it? “Sure. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

  “I thought it would be nice to get a small table for the entranceway.”

  I thought for a few moments. Andrew had lacrosse practice and didn’t need to get picked up till five thirty. Annie would be getting off the bus at three. We had plenty of time. I still felt a pang of disappointed and reprimanded myself for it. Of course, sex slowed down when you’d been together as long as Claire and I had been. At least that’s what Claire told me. And I had no reason to doubt her. But doubts did creep in. I pushed them aside. Claire showed her love for me and the kids in so many other ways. We had a roof over our heads and food on the table. I didn’t want for much. My love language was physical touch, and I knew Claire’s was gifts. I had read that book and answered all the questions—for the both of us. Claire had no interest in reading it. So when Claire bought me a new book or kitchen gadget, I knew she was showing her love for me. “A table might be nice there.”

  “I thought so. And we can look for another light for your work area downstairs. You mentioned the other day that yours was flickering.”

  There she was again—showing me love in the way she knew how. I could let the other stuff go. “Let me just start the dishwasher and I’ll be ready.”

  She gave me another quick hug—two in one day. Maybe things were looking up. “I’ll meet you in the car. You can drive. A table would fit better in your car anyway.”

  I popped a detergent pod in the dishwasher, closed the door, and pressed start. My cell rang before I had a chance to walk out of the house. A quick glance at it told me it was Beth. I was torn between getting out to Claire and making her wait while I talked on the phone. I compromised. “Hey, Beth. I’m just about to head out with Claire. Can I call you back?”

  “Of course. I hope you have a good time.”

  “Thanks. Will you be around later today?”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay, talk to you later.”

  I pressed the end button and stared at my phone for a long moment. I called Tess, put her in the laundry room, and headed out to Claire, my mind still on the phone call from Beth. And hoping it wouldn’t be too long before I could call her back.

  Beth

  I slipped my cell phone back in my desk drawer, surprised by my disappointment. I was looking forward to talking to Jodi more than I had realized. Well, my question for her would just have to wait. It was a slow day at the salon. Luckily, we had enough hopping days to make up for days like this. I opened my computer and clicked on my accounting software. I took advantage of the lull in business to enter my latest receipts, something I often put off in favor of cutting and styling hair. It was actually the interactions with the clients that I liked best. My girls could handle the few clients that were on the schedule, and if we got busy because of walk-ins, I was nearby to lend a hand.

  I was still in my office a few hours later when my phone rang. I jumped at the sound, engrossed in my work. I picked it up and pressed the answer button without looking at the caller’s name. “Hello.”

  “Beth?”

  I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of Jodi’s voice. “Hi there.”

  “Sorry it took so long to get back to you.”

  “No problem. Did you have a nice time?” I closed my lapto
p and leaned back in my chair.

  “It was okay.”

  “That doesn’t sound too thrilling.”

  “We went antique shopping. More Claire’s thing than mine. But it was fine.”

  Cindy took that moment to pop her head in my office. “Mrs. Ferguson and her son are here. He asked for you. Can you come out or should I have Rachel help them out?” I put my hand over the mouthpiece on my phone. “No. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  She nodded and backed out of my office, quietly closing the door as she did.

  Jodi obviously heard her—or me. “Do you have to go?”

  “In a minute. I wanted to know if you would like to come over for lunch tomorrow. Maddie will be at school—at least she better be. I have to be there in the morning because I have a repair guy coming over to look at my dryer. I thought maybe I’d stick around and make you lunch. If you’re interested.”

  “I would love to.”

  I relaxed. She said yes. “That’s great. Listen, I do have to go. I’ll text you the address. Does noon work for you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  We said our good-byes and I went out to the shop and up to the counter where my client was waiting. “Hello, Mrs. Ferguson,” I said to the elderly lady. “Mr. Ferguson.” I nodded at her son.

  “Al. Please.”

  “Al,” I repeated. I turned to his mother again. “How are you today?”

  “Was I here before?” she asked.

  Al had his arm around his mother’s shoulder. “This is where you get your hair done now. You were here a few weeks ago. You were very happy.” He addressed me. “She really was. She may forget why she’s here, but once home she admired herself in the mirror and commented on how nice her hair looked.”

  “I did?” she asked him.

  “You did.” He smiled at her. His smile turned to me. “We were both very pleased with your services. I’m sorry to drop in without an appointment. I hope it’s okay.”

  “Of course. It’s no problem. Walk-ins are always welcome.”