Wandering Queen (Lost Fae Book 1)

by May Dawson

  His hand on my one hip was icy cold, tingling through the fabric of my pants, and the other hand felt warm. Tiron was more complicated than the handsome, cheerful knight he’d seen at first glance. But I didn’t mind that. I was complicated too.

  His lips were so near mine, and I thought he was going to lean in and kiss me. My breath froze in my chest. I wanted him so badly.

  He shifted subtly closer to me, his hands pressing my hips against his.

  Then he let out a groan, dropping his forehead against mine. “You know we shouldn’t be doing any of this.”

  I pulled away so I could look up at him, studying his face. “Why not?”

  No matter what he said, his hands were still on my body. “We snuck out of the castle for flying lessons and now… what I’m doing is treason in Faer’s eyes, Alisa.”

  “Who said he’s the king of the summer court?”

  “He does,” he said dryly.

  “Which part is treason?” I asked. “Saving the trolls? Or…”

  I was going to say kissing me.

  “Both. I had tried to hide my Winter roots when I came here, and when I was uncovered…” He trailed off at the memories, then resumed his usual brightness. “Azrael’s burned through all his goodwill. I’m supposed to keep my head down and stay out of trouble.”

  “But you can’t,” I filled in. He couldn’t do that any more than I could have left that girl in the kitchen.

  “I can’t.” He ran his thumb over my cheekbone, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m not allowed to help winter prisoners out of summer to safety. And I’m definitely not allowed to fall in love with the summer princess.”

  Somehow those words felt like a weight, and yet at the same time, my chest was light with the same freedom I did when we flew.

  “You better get to know me before you fall in love with me,” I warned him. “Apparently I don’t even know myself.”

  “I don’t think that’s true, Alisa.” His gaze lingered on mine, then fell to my lips.

  I’d always known how to take what I wanted from men—not that I’d wanted much—but now suddenly, I felt lost.

  He abruptly pulled himself away, but it seemed like an effort.

  “Let’s get to work,” I said lightly. “Treason isn’t going to commit itself.”

  We left the culvert outside the city, emerging into the moon-soaked woods. We journeyed toward a cave, but on our way, Tiron paused.

  The two of us tilted our heads as we listened to the hush that had suddenly fallen over the forest. Were we being hunted by the king’s men?

  Then Tiron suddenly dragged me into the shadow of a fallen tree, his arm closing around my waist. The two of us crouched there in the darkness, hiding among the tangled roots and the scent of damp earth. The forest had gone silent, as if there were some kind of terrible predator here with us. Even the cats and the wolves had fled to their dens.

  Tiron breathed a spell, the words all but silent on his tongue. I felt the rise and fall of his chest as the two of us pressed close together, huddling like children. Slowly, as the minutes dripped by in silence, the fear melted away. I began to feel ridiculous.

  Then something cold rippled over my skin. Tiron bowed his head, pressing his cheek against mine, and I closed my eyes, trying to trust him even though every nerve in my body screamed that we were in terrible danger, we should run.

  Something eerie seemed to pass by us. It was a ripple in the darkness, something made of nightmares, and fear prickled over my skin as if my body knew that threat, even if my mind didn’t understand. Suddenly I didn’t feel ridiculous for hiding anymore. A hard knot pressed into the base of my throat. I couldn’t breathe, but at least I couldn’t scream.

  The thing in the shadows moved like a man, an enormously tall and slender man, but it was unnaturally silent. It turned suddenly, and I caught a glimpse of red eyes, a gaping mouth that could almost swallow a person whole. It stared around, nostrils flaring, as if it could scent us.

  Then it began to move forward again, and disappeared quickly into the shadows.

  We stayed there, holding each other close, in the shadow of that tree for a long while. My muscles tensed from the cold, then began to shake.

  Then Tiron whispered, “I covered us both in cold so he wouldn’t feel us here. I’m sorry.”

  “What was that?” I pressed my hands to my shivering arms, imagined summer magic, and the cold fled in an instant. I pressed my hands against his face, and as warmth went through him, he relaxed.

  “The Shadow Man,” he whispered. “I never knew he was real for sure. I thought he was a myth the Fae made us to scare children…”

  “Does the Shadow Man live in the woods to eat naughty children?” I asked lightly, thinking of all those cautionary fairy tales parents use to scare their children into good behavior.

  I’d never felt anything like I’d felt when the Shadow Man passed by. It felt as if evil clung to my skin, and I wanted to scrub it away.

  “No,” he said, his face troubled. “According to the stories, at least, when the Shadow Man hunts, he’s bound to one person…one victim.”

  He studied me as if he thought I was that victim. My throat tightened with fear as if I could still feel the Shadow Man’s eerie presence, but I pushed it down.

  “We’d better get to those trolls,” I said. “How many hours do you think we have left until dawn? Duncan will want to torment us…”

  “We’re going back to the castle,” he said. “You’re not wandering around the woods with that… thing…out here. The summer court needs you alive.”

  “And I need the one friend I have,” I said. “So shut up and let’s move.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Azrael

  Seven years earlier

  It was almost the end of the year at the academy. Winter’s grip had faded, and the days were becoming long. We were camping on the slopes overlooking the academy.

  It was safe again these days. For some reason, the monsters that plagued this territory had all vanished.

  I was chopping wood for our fire when sudden chaos erupted on the edge of camp. I’d glimpsed Alisa and Rowen together, as they so often were; summer and winter as best friends. As I headed over, it was no surprise to me that they were in trouble together, too.

  But then Galic tore away Rowen’s tunic. Rowen fought back, Alisa shoving Galic away. As I broke into a run, the fabric ripped, revealing the tight compressive wrap binding Rowen’s chest.

  “There’s a girl among us,” Galic shouted, pointing at Rowen.

  “Which is novel. But there have always been weaklings among us,” I said, which earned my Galic’s glare.

  A crowd gathered. Alisa had already scooped to pick up Rowen’s shirt, which she quickly dressed in.

  But it was too late. The damage was done.

  “Did you know?” Galic hissed.

  “No,” I said. Alisa and I had kept our secrets from each other—but only the small ones. It was better if I didn’t know for sure who the other girl was at the academy.

  “The punishment for impersonating a student here is death,” Galic snarled.

  “Hold on,” I said, glancing down the hill at the academy below. I could run for Vail, but the odds weren’t good that I could get back before Galic managed to carry out whatever revenge he was plotting. He’d use Rowen to hurt Alisa, and Alisa to reach me. “That’s an old rule, but there’s no reason to think that Vail would order an execution.”

  “You’re always so interested in following other’s rules,” Galic spat at me. “How are you ever going to be a king yourself?”

  I stepped close to him, pulling myself to my full height, letting some of my power radiate from my skin. Despite himself, he shrank a little, even though I saw him brace himself to face me.

  “I’m happy to begin making my own rules, Galic,” I told him, my voice quiet and threaded with danger.

  I could have defused the situation. But Rowen chose that moment to
take off.

  She might’ve been understandably terrified about what was about to happen to her, but her movement made things worse. Fae are always two heartbeats away from their feral selves, and the second she ran, the hunt was on. The males around me transformed into predators, running to catch her. Galic grinned in delight, savoring the moment, then gave chase himself.

  Alisa was running too. The two of us chased the others through the woods, blasting magic at every student who tried to attack Rowen, knocking them down so that they collapsed in a plume of snow.

  By the time we broke out of the forest and reached the edge of the cliff, most of our fellow students had been left behind, sleeping off their rage in the snow.

  It was just Galic, Rowen, Alisa and me, there at the edge of the cliff, so battered by wind there were no pines growing here. The sun shone down brightly on us all, and the gray stone walls of the campus was spread below us in the distance.

  Galic made a move toward Rowen, and I threw up a sheet of wind magic that blocked him. He leaned forward into the wind, trying to force his way toward us, but my wind drove him relentlessly toward the edge of the cliff. His boots slipped across the slick crust of snow, trying desperately to find purchase.

  I had no mercy when someone hurt someone I loved.

  Vail arrived, panting. “I saw the flare of magic—what the hell is happening here?”

  I hesitated, easing up on the wind. Galic tried to speak, but he couldn’t.

  “Stop,” Vail ordered, holding out his hand to me.

  I knew he couldn’t force me to stop. My magic was more powerful than his. I could send Galic tumbling over the cliff, and he would never get the chance to speak against Rowen. Alisa looked at me, her beautiful eyes wide and desperate.

  But already, the first few students had managed to pick themselves up from the snow and stumble after us. They were emerging from between the trees.

  Killing wouldn’t get us out of this problem.

  I let the wind die abruptly. Galic collapsed, landing with a bark on his knees.

  There was no denying what Rowen was. But as long as I could get her off campus unharmed, I could get her safely hidden away in the autumn court. And I could shield Alisa too, from being discovered.

  “Rowen is female,” I said.

  Alisa turned furious eyes on me.

  “These fools wanted to murder her on the spot for making them look stupid,” I added.

  “Those are the rules,” Galic muttered rebelliously.

  Vail turned on him in exasperation. “You don’t make the rules. You are not the one to enforce them.”

  I nodded.

  “There’s no winter court royalty here,” Vail said. “You must do it, Azrael. As autumn prince, you’re the closest.”

  He moved his fingers, and Rowen was suddenly on her knees, as if pressed down by invisible hands.

  Fuck. It was going to be harder to get Rowen out of here safely than I’d expected. I hadn’t thought Vail would enforce those foolish old rules.

  Vail nodded at the dagger on my waist.

  “No,” I said. “I’m not going to do that.”

  “I’ve never known you to shirk your responsibility, Azrael,” Vail said.

  “I’m not,” I promised. “I’m doing the right thing, no matter who is blind to what that is. Why shouldn’t a girl be able to prove herself at the academy?”

  I glanced around at the males who had gathered around me, keenly aware of the cliff drop off behind me, the long plummet to the icy ground below. “Are we really that timid? Are we afraid that females will shame us by doing better than we can?”

  “If you want to change the law, then change the law,” Vail said wearily. “Go see Herrick. Though he sent Faer here, not Alisa, so I doubt he’d see things as you do.”

  I felt Alisa’s intention in the way she squared her shoulders, and I tried to silence her with a look. But the males were edging in toward us, as if they were going to fight for Vail’s way. Rowen was still on the ground, helpless and wide-eyed.

  “Is that what Herrick did?” Alisa’s voice rang out, breaking the eerie silence that dominated the Cliffside.

  In an instant, she tore off her tunic. “Rowen didn’t do anything that I, Princess Alisa, didn’t do. Are you going to cut my throat too? For loving my land, my court, enough to fight for it, just like all of you?”

  Vail’s face had gone livid with rage. He controlled himself with visible effort.

  “No, no one is dying today. But you won’t be here by the time night falls, either.”

  I went with Vail when he marched the two girls down to the campus.

  “Go with her, please,” Alisa begged me, glancing at Rowen.

  I nodded, understanding that she was the one in danger. No one was going to hurt the princess.

  No matter how much it hurt to tear myself away from her, I went with Rowen, watching over while she packed her belongings.

  Alisa and I never had a moment alone together to say goodbye. She looked back at me as she was getting onto her horse, and she winked at me from the distance.

  My irrepressible princess.

  The world felt colder when she’d left, but I knew no one would keep us apart for long.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Alisa

  Nothing else attacked us, and Tiron and I reached the cave within an hour. The mouth was hidden by overgrown green branches that seemed to wilt at Tiron’s touch.

  As we descended inside, it grew chillier and chillier. I rubbed my hands over my arms, and Tiron noticed. He didn’t seem to feel anything in the cold, but he reached out and ran the back of his hand across my arm, noticing the goosebumps. “You can fix that, you know,” he said.

  I nodded. It was hard at first to summon my summer magic, then I felt warmth spread over my skin and soak through my muscles. It felt like sunbathing on a beautiful summer day, and I turned my face up instinctively, seeking the sun. But we were still in the dim of the cave.

  Tiron was smiling at me when I looked at him.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I thought I hated summer,” he said, then shrugged. “It’s growing on me, though.”

  “Is it?” I ran my fingertips over his arm, letting some of my magic seep into his skin.

  The shimmering pastel glow of the lights reflected off the tanned skin of his bare chest and powerful arms. He looked at me with heat flaring in his eyes.

  If the two of us had time, I would’ve tried to push him. I would run my palms over those corded forearms, letting my heat sink into his icy skin. I’d feel the ripple of his powerful shoulder muscles beneath my hands, then trace my way down the hard planes of that chest.

  But instead, I pulled myself away reluctantly.

  When he took my hand in his, his cold skin felt welcome against the warmth of my fingers. Who knew the cold could feel so good?

  The two of us descended ever further into the caves until we reached an enormous cavern and what looked like an underground city. Magic twinkled in the sky like stars, shining soft light down on the snowy roofs of dozens of makeshift homes. Several children with pale skin and long tails chased each other between the houses, and the sound of their laughter rose up into the night.

  “Welcome to the kingdom of snow in summer.” He glanced at me from the corner of my eye. “Alisa, I…”

  “I can’t believe you trusted me with this,” I said softly.

  He gave me a look that I couldn’t decipher. “You risk your life to protect others over and over. I think that’s who you truly are.”

  Tears came to my eyes, surprising me. Words were just words, but the city spread in front of us showed me how he truly felt. When everyone else seemed to hold a past that I didn’t remember against me, Tiron’s faith meant the world to me.

  “We’ve got to fly tonight,” he said. “The truth is, I could use the help, Alisa. I’ve got to get them over the border. Once I get them closer to fall territory, I have friends who can take them the rest
of the way.”

  He hesitated. “It’s dangerous. If they knew I brought you with me, Azrael would kill me, then bring me back to life so Duncan could kill me…”

  “Do they know what you’re doing?” I asked.

  His hesitation said enough.

  But then he stepped in close to me. “I’ve cost them enough. I don’t want them to know I…”

  He trailed off. His gaze was on my lips, and strange warmth suffused my skin—that had nothing to do with my own magic.

  “Right,” I said softly. “You aren’t allowed to help winter prisoners out of summer to safety.”

  The rest of his words seemed to hang in the air between us: And I’m definitely not allowed to fall in love with the summer princess.

  “Faer might have all three of us executed if I’m caught,” he said. “As long as they don’t know, they have an excuse… I’m just a renegade.”

  I wanted him to be a renegade in every way.

  As if he heard my thoughts, he studied me with those green eyes. The air between us felt charged.

  He leaned forward, hesitated with a breath between us. I swayed toward him. When that rounded lower lip brushed mine in the faintest, most tentative kiss, his lips were cool.

  Then his hands went to my hips, gripped me hard. I twined my arms around his neck and kissed him back, those cold lips nudging mine open. He kissed me slowly, deeply, reverently.

  The tip of his tongue teased against my upper lip, then slid slowly inside. My hips swayed against his as I tried to get even closer to him, and one arm slid across my waist as Tiron held me against the ropy muscle of his body.

  I pulled away first, breathing hard. “Mission first.”

  “Right,” he murmured. “The mission.”

  We made our way down the slick, ice-covered descent into the cave. Tiron was sure-footed, and he kept a firm grip on my hand. When we reached the bottom and he led me toward one of the houses, he didn’t let go.

  He pushed open a heavy curtain and stuck his head in, calling, “Abrie?”