“You heard me .”
I take this opportunity to make my escape through a hole in the crowd. Finally, I make it out into the night air and found a place against the brick wall to lean and take a deep breath. Then another. Another .
Okay. I’m out of there, I’m okay, and now I can go home and not come back. Great .
That is when my cologne-drenched defender flies out of the double doors .
“Hey, you okay ?”
“Oh, yeah, thanks. It’s not a big deal, really.” I head for the parking garage with a little wave that I hope he will know means ‘goodbye ’.
He doesn’t. “Are you by yourself ?”
“I’m fine, thanks .”
He jogs a bit to catch up to me. I slow down, not because I want to chat, but because I don’t want this guy following me to my car .
“I can walk you .”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m fine, really .”
“Don’t want anything to happen to a sexy girl like you out here by yourself. I can drive you home, we can stop by my place first for a drink or something .”
My creep radar is off the charts. I begin to walk in the opposite direction of my car .
“Oh, I can’t, sorry, I really need to get home .”
“It’s still early, come on, when was the last time you got fucked real good ?”
Okay, now please understand, by nature I am a very passive person. And I know in my head at this point I should tell this guy to get lost and leave me alone. But, still, STILL, I try to be polite .
“Oh, um, no thanks. I don’t really do that .”
“Come on, I helped you out back there and you’re just gonna be all cold like that?” The next few moments happen so quickly it’s like a scene from The Flash comic book .
First cologne-man grabs my elbow, then cologne-man is on the ground. Not a second between the two .
I looked down at him, stunned when I hear a familiar voice that has a very unfamiliar tone. “You don’t touch people. Ever .”
Rob is beside me, calm and collected, but burning a hole through the man on the ground with steely glare. Cologne shoots to his feet and spins around ready for a confrontation. But there is no confrontation. One good look at Rob and the smelly wanna-be hero un-puffs his chest .
“It’s cool man, we’re friends. I was just trying to help her out .”
“Go.”
No arguments. They guy heads back in the direction of the club. Rob pulls out his phone and sends a text, then he peers down the street and watches closely as club security turns Cologne away from the entrance. When Rob is satisfied there won’t be a scene, he turns his attention back to me .
“Where’s your car ?”
“Oh, over there .”
I point back in the opposite direction from where I was walking .
He raises his eyebrow a bit, “Okay, come on .”
Rob
I smelt trouble on that sleaze hours ago. The things I overheard him saying to Amy were pissing me off. But when he actually touched her outside the club I had to stop myself from repeatedly slamming his head into the concrete. I was a little ashamed for wishing he would have taken a swing at me and given me a legal reason to put him in the hospital. Only a little ashamed .
Aim is trying not to look as shaken up as I can tell she is. When she confessed she was headed in the opposite direction of her car, I swallow the anger that rises in me again .
“Okay, come on .”
We walk in silence for a bit and I wait for the tension in her shoulders to relax, but it doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen. So I resort to small talk .
“Marce said you got your grad degree ?”
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m a super librarian now. Those books better watch out .”
“Nice. You were always smarter than Marce, and me, and everyone else .”
“Noooo, I just like to read .”
“And write. And understand stuff no one else does. That’s all .”
She laughs, but it’s true, if you look under “humble” in the dictionary you’d find Amy’s picture. But you’d also find it under “smart as fuck ”.
And “hot as fuck ”.
I should really tell her that, but I decided that immediately after she got hit on by a douche bag is probably not the right time. Every click of her heels against the hard floor of the parking garage is like the ticks of a bomb. A bomb that had been ready to explode inside me for ten years .
When we get to her beat-up Nissan I decide I needed to see her again. And I have a GREAT reason to get her to agree to meet me .
All thanks to that cologne-drenched asshole .
Amy
T he worst thing about Rob is, despite my internal hostility towards him, he had never been anything but nice to me. Even growing up, he never did all the mean, bratty things your best friend’s brother is supposed to do. I always thought if only he would have, I wouldn’t have been so smitten. But how can you not be smitten with beauty AND kindness. Especially beauty, and, my gawd – he was beautiful .
I almost had my hand on the car door and “goodbye” on my lips when he throws me with a disturbing question .
“So… what would you have done if he would have tried to pull you somewhere ?”
“I wouldn’t have gone .”
“Yeah, sure, you would have tried not to go, but what if he had dragged you off ?”
“I would’ve screamed .”
“What if no one was around ?”
“I would’ve hit him, I guess .”
“You guess ?”
“No, I would have .”
“Show me .”
“What?”
“Show me how you would’ve hit him .”
Suddenly Rob was wrapping one of his huge hands around my arm where Cologne had grabbed me earlier. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s firm .
“I don’t wanna hit you .”
“I saw you stab yourself with the straw .”
Fine. I draw back and slug him in the chest. Not with all my might, but enough to prove I’m not weak. But Rob doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t even move at all. We stand there in silence for an eternity .
“That’s it ?”
“I hit you .”
“You did ?”
I can tell he’s teasing me, but his hand is still firmly in place. I pull back further this time and really swing with all my might. Rob lets me go, but still remains unmoved. Rock solid .
“Could be worse, but I’d feel better if you let me give you a few lessons. Even that twerp wouldn’t have been very put off by…that .”
“Lessons?”
“Self-defense. I teach it at my gym the nights I don’t do the kids classes. And private lessons too, we could start with that .”
“You own a gym too ?”
“Just a figure of speech, my friends, my work, my gym, my sister’s friend with the weak punches …”
I think about slugging him again, but that would be way too “flirty” – don’t want to freak him out by giving the wrong impression – after all, I’m not delusional .
“Okay, sure, I guess everyone should probably do that, really .”
“Yeah, but especially you.” He winks as he leaves me at my car door, calling back behind him as he makes his way out of the garage, “I’ll get your number from Marcy .”
Then his stupid face is gone .
Rob
I instantly regret trying to see Amy again. I should have told her to get herself into a class, but it didn’t have to me mine .
As I walk along the stone path to my front door, I hold my keys tight so they won’t make a sound. I turned the knob like a surgeon, and tried to walk as lightly as possible into the kitchen. I feel guilty enough for going out, the last thing I want to do is wake up my lady and make things so much worse .
No luck .
“Where were you ?”
I turn and face her, guilt dripping off me like rain. “I had to do some work stuff, honey. I�
��m sorry .”
“Why?”
A question I have grown to loath – mostly because I never have a good answer .
“I didn’t want to sweetheart, but I had to take care of some stuff. Aren’t you tired ?”
She burns a hole through me .
“No.”
“Do you want some - “
“No.”
I sigh and sink into a wooden kitchen chair. “I’m sorry, Maddison.” I can see her deciding if she forgives me. I know she will, she always does. Five-year olds never hold grudges long .
Right then a blonde ball of energy bursts in. “Maddison! What are you doing out of bed ?”
I pull out my wallet, “No worries, Lindsay, we’re just chatting.” I pay the babysitter and see her out. Before I close the front door I make sure Maddison isn’t in earshot and whisper the same question to the screen obsessed teen I always do. “How was it?” She looks up from her phone and gives me one of those overly sympathetic smiles I have almost gotten used to .
“Oh, you know. The same .”
I nod and return the sympathetic smile, “Thanks, Linds .”
When I shut the door and turn around Maddison is planted in the middle of the hallway with her arms crossed .
I’m stuck .
“Why?”
“Sweetheart, we’ve talked about this, right? I do stuff for work so we can have the house and food and … everything. Right ?”
“Why at night ?”
She’s got me. The truth was, even though I own Club Avenue, I didn’t go there tonight to work. I went out for fun for once, for the first time since Maddison was born, in fact. Marcy said she was finally gonna get Amy to come out and I…I regretted it .
“It won’t happen again, Maddie, okay ?”
After some pondering she gives her cool reply. “Okay .”
And with that she’s off down the hall and back to her room. I shuffle after, grateful not to have had to negotiate another ‘why ’.
Since Maddison was born I have found myself often asking “why?” as well. Never about her, I know why Maddie is in my life – because at some point I did something right to deserve her. But everyone else has had me continuously asking ‘why?’. Why did her mother take off at the first sign that she wasn’t ‘normal’? Why didn’t any schools feel like she could ‘fit in’ to a regular class? Why does autism have to be seen as a curse ?
Maddie got into bed. She doesn’t jump in the way most five-year olds would. She does it the way she does everything, slowly and purposefully. I must be really tired, or distracted, or maybe I’m just a dumb ass because I do something I KNOW never to do, when I pull up her covers my hand brushes against her arm .
“AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Oh, shit! Maddie, I’m sorry !”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
I back way up, this scene is not as unusual at it may seem to most. Maddison can’t tolerate human touch at all, and the only way she can express it is to scream. So… I let her scream .
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“I’m so sorry, Maddie. I didn’t mean to. It’s okay.” I pull one of her stuffed dogs off the wall and set it on the edge of her bed. “I didn’t mean to, honey .”
Then it’s over as quickly as it started. Maddie is quiet except for the sound of trying to breathe. I stay back and she eventually grabs her green blanket and the dog… and at last, she lays down .
“You okay, sweetheart ?”
“Yeah. Night, Daddy .”
“Night Maddie, I love you .”
Amy
T he first thing I do when I walk in the door of my apartment is strip .
It’s not as sexy as it sounds. I am just so ready to be rid of the heels, bra and the too tight dress Marcy insisted I wear, which I still think makes me look like a bratwurst no matter what she says. When I am finally free from my bondage I fall onto the couch. I take a moment to center myself before I open my laptop. When I don’t see what I’m looking for I slam it closed again .
“Geez!”
I must have sent my resume to a hundred places over the last month and still nothing. If anyone had told me getting a graduate degree would make it harder to find I job I wouldn’t have believed them. But here I was, too qualified for half the things I apply for, and not experienced enough for the other half .
Maybe I could use some time with a punching bag …
My mind falls back to Rob, and I begin to replay one of my favorite memories. I was seventeen and invited to Rob’s first amateur MMA fight. I remember the moment he pulled off his shirt and held out his hands for the glove inspection. It’s a wonder I didn’t pass out. I totally forgot breathing was a thing people needed to do .
The memory of the way his cut muscles moved under his smooth skin makes my hand slip between my legs. I slide my fingers over my wetness as I relive the masculine focus in his eyes, the warrior demeanor I never saw in the living room of Marcy’s house, but that made my knees weak in that moment. It was power and strength. It was all a woman could want .
I begin to shake as I remember meeting his eyes. Because I swear, he looked right at me before he bounded up the steps to the cage. The fear I felt on the way to the event that night was gone as I realized all at once he wouldn’t be getting hurt. I didn’t cheer or holler like everyone else in the crowd, just stood in stunned awe as his arms and back glistened and rippled with every punch and dodge .
And when he won, and I mean really won, I was worried the other kid wouldn’t wake up at all… he looked at me again. And didn’t look away until his corner men hoisted him on their shoulders .
Later I tried to tell myself he was looking at Marce, making sure his brat sister saw him being awesome. But in moments of weakness I almost convince myself …
Suddenly I pull my hand back and sit up .
“Oh, stop. Stupid .”
Rob
A gainst my better judgement, I asked Marce for Aim’s number. I almost talked myself out of it. Then I almost talked myself out of calling. Then I almost talked myself out of showing up at the gym. Then I DID talk myself out of assigning her to a different teacher. And then …
“How weird do I look ?”
Weird? If it’s weird to look totally devour-able, then sure. Weird as hell. Amy’s skin-tight yoga pants hid nothing. Every soft spot she probably cursed at in the mirror was sitting right there for me take in. If I had seen her like this when I was a teenager I would have probably gotten wood in my gym shorts. Honestly, it was a struggle not to as a grown ass man .
I answered her in a way I’m sure eased her mind. “You look just fine .”
“Okay.”
I started to wrap up her hands, being so close to her was making me… well, not nervous…but… okay, fine I’m nervous. I start rambling .
“The first thing you need to know is, self-defense is a philosophy. A new way of looking at the world. It isn’t just knowing what to do in a bad situation, it is also being able to spot a bad situation before it happens. Where ever you are, whatever you’re doing, you always have to assume someone is going to try and hurt you .”
“Oh, well, is that, um… fair ?”
“Fair?” I help her work the gloves onto her tiny hands .
“Well, yeah, I mean, that’s sort of judgmental. I mean, most people are nice .”
“Really? You think most people are nice ?”
“Yeah…”
“Okay, we’ve a lot of work to do .”
Amy
P OW! POW! POW !
Every time my fists connect to the bag it’s a total rush .
RIGHT HOOK – POW ! LEFT HOOK – POW ! UPPERCUT – POW !
“Remember the sound, it will keep you breathing .”
I make the little yell on each punch the way karate guys do on TV. How could I forget about that? Too much fun .
“Agh!” POW. “Agh!” POW! “Agh
!” POW
“Keep moving your feet until your combination. Remember where a punch starts ?”
“Mah feut”, my best effort at ‘my feet’ through the protective mouth guard .
After I batter the bag with another combination I look at Rob for approval, but his eyes aren’t on me anymore, they’re on his phone .
I spit the mouth guard into my gloved hand and clumsily try to hide the string of drool that stays connected to it .
He doesn’t look up from the phone when he announces, “I have to go .”
“Am I that bad?” I fake one of those fake laughs .
“I’m sorry, I just really have to go.” He doesn’t finish his apology before rushing out of the gym .
Leaving me standing there with boxing gloves on, gloves I was almost certain I couldn’t take off by myself .
Great.
Rob
I didn’t know I could move that quickly. If I could have pulled that kind of speed in the cage I might have reversed a few losses. But I guess the stakes weren’t as high .
I flew through my front door and almost trip over… what is all this?!? Then I realize it’s everything in the living room that was breakable – broken .
“AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
I raced down the hall to Maddie’s room and literally run into Lindsay as she’s backing out of it. A picture frame flies by our heads and breaks against the hallway wall .
“AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Lindsay is in tears too, “I’m sorry, I washed her blanket. It was so dirty and I just thought- I’m so sorry !”
“AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!”
Maddison is grabbing and smashing everything she can reach in her bedroom .
I slowly make my way inside, “It’s okay, Maddie! It’s really just the same !”
I pick her freshly washed blanket off the floor and try to hold it out to her, but her screaming just intensifies. I pull it back and churn my brain, trying to think of a way to calm her down .
His Christmas Baby: A Friends to Lovers Romance Page 31
