by J. L. Berg
The rest of me—the rational, responsible side—wanted to run back to bed and hide under the covers. Forever.
“Whoever this very private person is, man or woman, we may never know. After several attempts to contact her team, no one is talking.”
“Yeah, because they know they’ll be sued,” I said out loud between bites of cereal, before finally shutting the TV off with one click.
I made a disgruntled sound of disgust.
It was never going to end.
Pretty soon, I was going to become one of those people who collected cats and had all their food delivered because I was too scared to leave my own home.
Too scared I’d be discovered.
My eyes darted to the place on my coffee table where my phone rested.
What to do? What to do?
Picking up the phone, I did the only thing I could think of.
I took a page from Laura’s playbook and pressed Send.
I’D BARELY FINISHED BRUSHING MY teeth when there was a loud pounding at my door.
Wondering if the cleaning staff had suddenly taken a turn for the worse, I grabbed a towel and headed toward the sound of the banging.
Whipping the toothbrush from my mouth, I opened the door. “What the fuck?”
“Is that any way to greet your brother?” Liam said, pushing past me to drop a giant duffel on the ground. “This place is a shithole.”
I watched in shock as he quickly made himself at home, taking a seat on the comfy chair by the bed. Knocking off his boots, he lounged out like he owned the damn place.
My mouth hanging open, I found myself asking, “You want to tell me what you’re doing here?”
“Visiting,” he answered.
“You’re supposed to be in New York. You know, that apartment I let you borrow.”
He grinned. “You mean, that apartment you had me park my ass in while you were over here, wining and dining some hot little number.”
My temper boiled. “She’s not—”
He chuckled. “Damn, you’re in over your head. Obviously, I arrived just in time.”
Warning bells and alarms were going off in my head. “Come on, Liam. Tell me why you’re really here. It’s not just to pay me a visit.”
I watched as one leg folded over the other, and he casually leaned back. His dark blue eyes bore into me as I tried to discover some clue buried deep inside him.
“Can’t a younger brother want to spend time with his older, more mature sibling?”
“No,” I deadpanned. “And whose money did you use to fly out here?”
“My own, okay?” he spit, showing an edge I recognized.
He was in trouble.
“Fine,” I said, holding up my hands in a display of cooperation. “Hurry up and get unpacked. Then, we’ll go find something to eat.”
He perked up. “It’d better be something nicer than the crap you’ve been eating.”
I opened my mouth to ask but instead said, “I don’t even want to know.”
He just laughed and pointed to the top of his head. “Jedi powers, Killer. It’s all in my super Jedi powers.”
“Mmhmm. Be sure to tell the cops that the next time you’re arrested for hacking.”
He shook his head, rising from his spot in the corner. “Like they could catch me.”
He might have acted as if it was impossible, but I saw the glint of fear creep across his face.
What have you gotten yourself into, little brother?
“So, tell me about her,” Liam said after we’d been seated at a local diner.
“No,” I replied, not bothering to look up from my menu.
“What do you mean, no?”
“I thought the word was fairly explanatory.”
His fingers pulled down the top of my menu just as I had started reading all about the various types of pancakes they offered.
God, I loved pancakes. And bacon.
And pretty much any food that didn’t come from a vending machine.
“You got enough cash to pay for this?” he asked, obviously seeing the unease spread across my face.
I hardened. “Yes,” I answered, hating that I couldn’t even lie to my kid brother.
The little know-it-all not only knew more than three of me put together, but he had also been able to read every one of my facial features since he was two.
“Credit card?”
“Would you stop? I’ve got it, okay?”
He settled back in his seat. “Okay.”
Long after the waitress came, took our orders, and poured gloriously large cups of coffee, a silence fell between us. It was unnerving, and eventually, I caved.
“She’s different,” I replied.
His face instantly lit up. “Different how?”
“She’s a virgin,” I answered, causing him to nearly choke on his coffee.
“Jesus, Killian. Give a guy a warning,” he said, banging on his chest as his voice settled back to normal.
“Sorry.”
“A virgin? Seriously? You shouldn’t be anywhere near that. You’re too—”
“Too what?”
He paused, setting his coffee down, as if he were contemplating something far more important. “Hold on. I’m trying to come up with the best term for it. Businesslike? No. Detached? That’s it. You’re too detached when it comes to sex.”
“You want to say it a little louder?” I exclaimed, giving him a look that could kill. “I don’t think the old lady in the corner heard you.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Not used to all this peace and quiet.”
I got back to the point. “You think I’m detached?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, look at how you handle family. Mom died, and what did you do? You separated yourself from everyone. You handle women the same way.”
I gave pause, thinking it over, before replying, “Well, it doesn’t matter anyhow. I stepped back. I pulled out the friend card.”
His face scrunched up, like he’d just passed a sewer line. “Man, that’s harsh.”
“It was better than a one-night stand.”
He nodded as our waitress approached, armed with plates of blueberry pancakes and bacon. My food-deprived body quivered at the sight.
As soon as she left, I dug in.
“So, why are you still here?” Liam asked, his fist full of bacon.
“What do you mean?” I asked, doing much of the same.
“If you’ve failed with the chick, why are you still holed up at the fleabag motel, spending cash you don’t have? Why not come home?”
I didn’t answer.
“You’re still trying to play her?”
Silence.
“That’s low, Killer. That’s really low. I figured you’d stop sniffing around whatever it was you had going when you got the hots for her. But, now, you’re telling me you’re still here, using her?”
My eyes met his. “It’s a big story.”
“How big?” he asked.
“Big,” I simply said.
I could see the hesitation in his gaze as he assessed me. I knew this was one secret of mine he hadn’t cracked, and deep down, it was driving him crazy.
But, if there was one thing I knew after all these years, it was how to keep a secret from my brother.
Or at least, try to.
The flash drive I’d stolen from Kim had only been used on one computer since I’d taken it from Kim’s apartment.
My laptop.
The laptop that never left my side. The one that had traveled with me from New York to Oregon and currently sat at this very diner to my left. And it never accessed the Internet.
No back door and no weird VPN tricks my brother could use, like he had with my online accounts and Wi-Fi access.
This baby was old school and, therefore, completely useless to a techie like my brother.
But it didn’t mean I couldn’t use those skills to my advantage.
“Hey, do you think you could do me a favor?”<
br />
My stalking tendencies had reached an all-new level of dirtbag.
I was now using my brother to hack into Kate’s accounts to track her movements, something only a lowlife with aspirations of earning a restraining order would do.
But she hadn’t called.
Not once since the night I’d stepped back and insisted on this whole friendship bullshit.
Did I want to be friends with Katelyn O’Malley?
Fuck no.
I wanted to be the opposite of friends. I wanted to do every dirty deed friends weren’t supposed to do together.
And then do it all over again. Twice.
Every time I thought about her, which was nearly every single minute of the day, my mind would wander back to that night when she had been quivering beneath me, ready for anything.
Ready for me.
I remembered that moment in the restaurant when she’d told me she was a virgin.
It was the pay dirt I’d needed.
Soon, my name would be plastered on the pages of magazines and newspapers around the world as the exclusive reporter who had revealed the identity of Laura Stone. The story would go viral.
I tried not to think of the implications of my success when I left.
I could leave. I could walk away right now. Save her any more pain and suffering from my imminent betrayal.
So, why wasn’t I?
“Okay, here’s your information, Casanova,” Liam said from his spot at the desk, handing me an address.
We’d headed back to my motel room, which I guessed was now our motel room since he’d taken up residence here indefinitely.
“Her cell just pinged this address a few minutes ago and has been steady. Must be eating lunch or something.”
“Thanks,” I said, barely registering what he’d said.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nodded, knowing I needed to see her. Even if it was just one more time.
“Okay,” he answered quietly. “Good luck. You know where to find me.”
“Roger that.”
I said my good-byes and headed to the little Honda I’d been renting since I arrived. It was honestly the first car I’d driven in years.
I was going to miss it when I returned to the city.
Entering the address Liam had given me into my phone, I followed the directions. He was right. It was a restaurant. A place I’d seen in passing several times and one I could picture Kate eating at.
After parking, I did my cursory check in the mirror, making sure my hair was not too crazy and there wasn’t anything stuck in the scruff of a beard I’d managed to grow during my time here. It was the first time I’d had facial hair in my adult life.
Kudos to laziness.
It didn’t take long for me to find her. Honestly, I thought I could pick out that beautiful blonde hair of hers any day.
Sitting at a table alone, she was hunched over a notepad, furiously writing. I loved watching her in her element. She had a fierce passion she probably didn’t even realize she possessed.
It was something I, myself had once had when I’d entered the field of journalism. But then I’d sold my soul for the sake of fame and popularity. I’d given up integrity for ratings.
And in doing so, I’d lost everything.
Maybe all of this would help me find that passion once again.
“Hey,” I said casually, walking up to the table, as if I’d just seen her out of the corner of my eye rather than stalked her from across the room.
She smiled up at me, as if she had expected another face. When she saw mine, her eyes widened. “Oh! Killian! Hi!”
I tried to keep it together. It was the first time since meeting her that she seemed genuinely off-balance around me.
Or at least, off-balance in an unsettling sort of way.
“Funny running into you here. I was grabbing some lunch before an interview,” I said.
Her interest piqued. “An interview? That’s great.”
I nodded. “I’m not holding my breath, but it’s something.”
“Yes.” She smiled politely, her eyes darting toward the entrance.
I followed, and finally, it all made sense.
The unease in her surprise reaction to seeing me, the edginess to her behavior.
Brian Chapman.
He sauntered through the door, carrying a large bouquet of long-stemmed red roses. Every damn woman in the place nearly swooned, watching, as he scanned the restaurant, looking for her.
My fists tightened.
“Kate!” He grinned, stepping forward.
She rose, and they met, his arms wrapping around her in a giant bear hug.
I was temporarily forgotten.
“These are for you,” he said, presenting her with the elaborate bouquet.
She blushed, thanking him. “Ouch!” she yelped, crying out in pain.
I immediately intervened. “Are you all right?” I asked, grabbing her thumb the minute I saw the blood.
“Thorn,” she mumbled.
“A good florist removes those,” I said, throwing a hard stare toward lover boy.
He was already trying to take my place, reaching out for her hand. Instead, he got a fistful of roses as I handed him back the giant bouquet he’d given her.
“Do you have a Band-Aid or anything in your purse?” I asked as I held her thumb close to my chest.
“Um, yes. A first-aid kit.”
With my free hand, I fished around in her small purse until I found the little white box. Inside were several Band-Aids and a few sanitary wipes. Opening one, I gently cleaned the tiny wound, taking extra time to run my hands over hers.
Her eyes never left mine.
It was as if no one else was there.
Until Brian reminded us otherwise.
“I think she’s fine,” he grunted.
Her eyes blinked several times, as if she were returning to reality. Maybe I was, too.
“Yes, thank you, Killian. I’d better leave you to your lunch. I’ll take it from here.” She took the Band-Aid from my hand and made short work of wrapping it around her wounded finger. Then, she gave me a polite smile.
I was being given the boot.
Brian smiled widely. “Nice seeing you again, Killian,” he said, holding out a hand.
I didn’t bother returning the gesture and instead stepped back. “Call me, Kate. We have some catching up to do,” I said before walking away.
I was sure she was wondering why I wasn’t staying.
But, even if I had planned on eating here for lunch, I no longer had an appetite.
My body was too full of rage.
“THAT WAS WEIRD,” BRIAN SAID the instant after Killian walked away.
My eyes drifted to the door, seeing his large frame hesitate for a moment before pushing open the glass door.
“Yeah,” I finally answered.
“I thought you were just friends now.”
My gaze fell back on him after Killian disappeared into the crowd outside. “We are.”
Brian’s mouth lifted into a cocky smile. “Are you sure he knows that?”
I nodded. “He was the one who ended it, who didn’t want anything serious.”
He shrugged, his long sandy brown locks falling around his eyes. “Okay. Well, as long as you know what you want.”
I blinked away the image of Killian’s warm hands on mine moments earlier.
“I do,” I replied. “I definitely do.”
“Good. Then, let’s eat.”
And that was exactly what we did. I ordered a healthy salad while he stuck with the standard burger and fries.
Other than our brief encounter on the dance floor, this was the first time I’d spent any time with Brian outside of the classroom. He turned out to be just as charming and witty in person as he had in front of a bunch of students. I found myself laughing and completely engaged in conversation the entire meal.
But, at the end of the date, when he offered to show me
his place—I declined instantly.
Why?
I still couldn’t stop thinking about Killian and the way a single touch had left me nearly breathless.
Would I ever feel that again?
Or was I, once again, expecting too much?
After promising a second date to Brian before we left the restaurant, I went home, ready to kick my shoes off and relax for a few minutes before Amy arrived to help me with the massive pile of books in my dining room. She’d been a lifesaver since I’d told her about my secret life, taking time out of her busy social life to help me. She’d even agreed to figure out a way to get them all shipped without anyone noticing.
I took a quick glance in their direction, seeing all the books piled around my parents’ antique table like a protective shield.
Dropping my purse by the front door, I barely had enough time to close the door before my phone started ringing.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Kate, it’s Jane.”
“You know I see your name on the phone before I answer, right?” I said, rolling my eyes. I walked into my bedroom where I peeled off my sweater and placed my shoes by the bed.
“You can’t see it, but I’m sticking my tongue out at you.”
“That’s mature.” I laughed, collapsing on the bed.
“Anyway, there’s a reason I called you.”
“Business or friendship?”
“What?” she asked.
“Is this phone call business-related, or is it friendship-related? I need to know what kind of tone I should take. Like, should I be formal and a little standoffish? Or, if it’s a friend thing, maybe I should be warm and inviting?”
“Just be you.”
“So, friendly with a sizable helping of crazy?”
She snorted. “That sounds about right.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“I read through the chapter samples you sent over for book three. The last chapter, Kate, it’s stunning. I mean, it might be some of the best stuff you’ve done.”
“Really?” I replied, feeling slightly giddy.
“The depth, the vibrancy, and the heat. I’m surprised my computer didn’t spontaneously combust.”
I instantly blushed.
“I want—no, I need more of this. I want this trilogy to finish off strong. So often, series have a tendency to go downhill. It’s like the sequel curse. The second movie is never as good as the original. Well, we see that all the time with book series. Now, obviously, since this is an ongoing storyline, you’re going to get automatic buyers regardless of how the series ends, but if we can really bring it home, it will do wonders for you.”
