What Makes Us Stronger (A Well Paired Novel Book 3)

by Marianne Rice

  He missed those days. Those simple moments. He wanted to ask her if she missed them too, but he didn’t.

  “I’m sorry he disturbed you. Is that book for your book club?” He nodded toward the closed book in her lap next to Meatball.

  “Yeah. My apartment is stifling with all this heat. I’ve been reading down here at night.”

  “I can put in an air conditioner for you,” he offered quickly. Too quickly. Did he sound desperate? Clingy?

  “That’s okay. There aren’t many nights left like this. The weather report says the humidity is supposed to break tomorrow.”

  “Oh. That’s good.” Damn, he was an idiot. It had been too long since he’d seen her, talked to her. His last words were hurtful, and here he was sounding like a moron. “Lily. I, uh... the things I said...”

  “No. Don’t.” She gently nudged Meatball’s head aside and stood, brushing off sand from her legs. “You made it quite clear then and you’ve made it quite clear over the past month how you feel about me. I’m sorry you think I was wrong not to spill my deepest, darkest secrets in your lap the first time we had sex, but if I had to do it all again, I still wouldn’t change a thing.”

  “Not change a thing as in you’d still sleep with me or still wouldn’t tell me?” Lily’s mouth hung open in stupor, and Ty cringed at what a stupid thing to say. He wasn’t good at this. Talking. Feelings. Apologies. Women. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s nice to know all you cared about was the sex.” She folded her chair and tucked it under one arm as she slid her feet into her flip-flops.

  “No. Lily, please. Listen. I’m sorry.” He reached out and wrapped his hands around her forearm, holding her in place.

  “Listen?” she scoffed. “You haven’t said a word to me. I would’ve listened to your apology weeks ago, had I thought you meant it. I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say now. If you hadn’t run into me tonight you wouldn’t be apologizing. You’re only saying you’re sorry because Meatball brought you over here. If you were truly sorry this wouldn’t be an accidental run in. So take your words, whatever few and miniscule they might be, and shove it.”

  Lily tore her arm away from him and fled. Ty sank to the sand and covered his face with his hands. If he was a crying man, he might have shed a tear. Instead, he did as his therapist had instructed and breathed deep through his nose and out his mouth, pushing away his self-doubt and focusing on the facts.

  Fact number one: He was an idiot.

  Fact number two: He hurt Lily. Badly.

  Fact number three: He needed to figure out how to make it up to her.

  Fact number four: He loved her with all his heart.

  Meatball shoved his head between Ty’s legs, kicking up sand onto his shorts. “What?” Ty growled, softening when he opened his eyes and saw Meatball’s pathetic sad face. “Yeah. I miss her too.”

  As Meatball moved around, kicking up sand, Ty spotted something shiny in the sand. Keys. He picked them up recognizing the teal sea glass hanging from Lily’s keychain.

  He could play this a few ways. Leave the key and walk away, giving Lily her space when she returned. Or he could bring them to her, knowing she stood stewing mad outside her car somewhere down the road.

  Not prepared with the right words to say, he left her keys in the sand and stood. “Let’s cool off in the water.” He kept his back to the sand as he waded in to just below the knees. Meatball barked behind him, so Ty walked backward until only his toes were covered with the cool water.

  “It’s not scary. You can go out a little further than this.” Meatball got his paws wet then retreated backward, following the tide go in and out. Ty wished he could say he sensed Lily as quickly as his dog did, but when Meatball turned and trotted up the sand, Ty knew it was to greet her.

  His first instinct was to keep his back to Lily, allowing her to grab her keys and escape without having to see him. That was the coward in him talking. If he wanted to keep Lily in his life he’d have to fight for her. It would be an uphill fight, but she was worth it.

  Turning, he couldn’t help but crack a smile at Meatball’s stub of a tail wagging furiously as Lily rubbed behind his ears. The key was still a good twenty feet away from them. Flying by the seat of his pants wasn’t his specialty, but he’d have to wing it.

  Ty headed toward her keys and picked them up, slipping them into his pocket. Meatball wandered back to the water, and Lily followed behind him. He watched them play in the water, the first sign of life in Meatball since she left them.

  Since he pushed her away.

  Even with Lily’s presence, Meatball’s energy never lasted long. Minutes later he strolled just far enough away from the water so he couldn’t be reached and sprawled out into the sand to take a nap.

  The sun had begun to set, and the breeze off the ocean brought some relief to the humid night. If there wasn’t so much tension in the air, it would have been the perfect night. Lily looked so right standing on the shores of the town beach. A place only locals knew of and visited.

  She belonged here in this town as if she was born and raised here. And in a way, she was.

  Swallowing his pride and praying for strength, Ty slowly prodded toward Lily. “You looking for your keys?” He held them out in front of him.

  She snapped her head to her left and scowled at him. “Yes.” She held out her hand but instead of returning them, Ty shoved them back in his pocket. “That’s immature.”

  “I’m not done talking.”

  “I hadn’t realized you started.” She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow. He’d never seen her like this. Feisty and full of spunk. While he hated being on the receiving end, he was proud of her for holding her own and not cowering like he’d done too many times.

  Feeding off her energy, he fired back, “I’m trying now.”

  “A little late for that.”

  “Better late than never.” He watched Lily fold her upper lip between her teeth. Biting back words, most likely. “You’re right, though. I’ve been a... coward. I was mad, afraid, hurt, depressed. That still doesn’t give me any right to treat you poorly or accuse you of lying. You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. For that, I’m sorry. I know I can’t take back the words I said and that they’ll be with you forever. It kills me knowing how badly I hurt you, how I ruined the best thing—”

  Ty scrubbed his hands across his face and rubbed his eyes, hoping for the right words. “You’re not a thing. You’re a person. A beautiful person inside and out. You’re the most honest, kind, caring, wonderful human being I’ve ever met, and I treated you like shit instead of talking to you about my feelings.”

  Lily’s arms remained crossed but instead of tight, tense shoulders, she appeared to relax a little. Her teeth no longer held her lip hostage, and it plumped as she released it. Kissing those lips was another thing he missed.

  Lifting his gaze from her mouth, he swallowed and continued. “The past month I’ve been in hell. I stopped taking care of myself or caring about anyone else. I let my depression and my feelings get the better of me.”

  “Ty.” Lily unfolded her arms and started to reach for him, but pulled back. “I don’t want to be the cause of your depression.”

  “What? No. Don’t ever think that. You’re not the cause for my depression. It’s there. It’s a chemical thing. I have medication for it, you know that. I know that. I stopped taking my pills—”

  “Why? I’m sorr—”

  “No.” Ty held up his hand, stopping the apology. “No one is to blame for my depression except my body make-up and me. I’m handling it better.” The next was hard to say out loud. He questioned his masculinity, which was ridiculous. Needing therapy didn’t make one weak, admitting you needed help took strength. He’d learned that as well and only now believed it. “I’m taking my medication now and even seeing a therapist again.”

  “That’s... that’s good.”

  “It’s not going to be easy.
I’m going to doubt myself a lot and I know it will take time, but I’m hoping with time you’ll learn to trust me again and give me a second chance.” He took her keys from his pocket and picked up her hand, placing them in her palm. “I’ve never stopped loving you, and I’m going to do my damnedest to win you back. To be worthy of your love.”

  Knowing he was out of words and had probably already pushed his luck, he pushed it one more step further by leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. He called for Meatball and walked away praying his lazy dog would follow.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  TY’S APOLOGY LAST NIGHT left her in knots. And speechless. For the past few months she’d experienced anger, grief, depression, love, and loss. Just as Ty had.

  Her morning had been a mess. Her first appointment was early, and Lily was running late for the first time ever. Her eleven o’clock was twenty minutes late, which made Lily fall behind for the rest of the afternoon, and then Annie informed her of a new massage client at five.

  It was their impromptu book club night, and she had forty pages left to read. After running into Ty on the beach last night she couldn’t read anymore, no matter how engrossed she was into the story, and she still hadn’t figured out who the arsonist was.

  There was so much to do, so much idle chatter to be had, and her head was not in the game.

  Her argument with Ty didn’t have to mean it was the end of their relationship, yet they’d both been too stubborn to work through it. Lily’s heart broke for him and his battle with depression. She should’ve been more sensitive to him, yet she had no way of knowing if he truly meant those words or if they came from the heat of the moment.

  Hope and Mia had told her how surly he’d been. She should’ve figured he’d relapsed in his depression. If relapse was even the correct term. Lily wanted to talk to him about it so she could help him, support him, but by the time they got close enough in their relationship to have that conversation, he’d seen her with Thorne.

  She should’ve told him everything the moment he saw her with Thorne. Maybe then he never would’ve gone down the rabbit hole of distrust.

  Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. All she could do now was move forward. And she really wanted to move forward with Ty, as long as he truly meant what he said about believing in her and taking ownership for his role in what happened. Whatever that was. An argument? A breakup? It just sort of ended.

  He still thought he had to work hard at being worthy of her love. She hated those words and what they implied. They’d need to work on their communication skills, and he’d need to get past his feeling of inadequacy if they were going to have a future together.

  Lily had her station cleaned and new inventory stocked at five minutes to five. Her new client had better be on time. The day needed to end. She needed book club for the distraction, the connection with the girls, and hopefully, some time with Hope at the end to talk about Ty; something she hadn’t done since the night Mia came home from the hospital.

  “I got your client all situated in room one upstairs. If you don’t need anything, I’m heading home,” Annie said, getting her purse from the bottom drawer of the front desk.

  “She’s here? I didn’t see her come in?” Lily hadn’t left the front other than to go to the bathroom twenty minutes ago.

  “Hmm. Funny you missed him. I already did the usual check-in. No injuries. No areas you need to focus on.”

  “Him? Do you have his name?”

  Annie grinned. “Oh, don’t look so worried. He’s a friend of the family’s. Total gentleman. He already paid and tipped, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

  “Tipped?” Lily didn’t like the feeling of this, being alone with a strange man in the spa.

  “Would you feel better if I stuck around?” Annie set her purse on the desk.

  “Um, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

  “Not at all.” Annie sat in one of the guest chairs and flipped through a magazine. “Let me know if you need anything.”

  Wanting to get the next hour over with, she trudged up the stairs and tapped lightly on the door to the first massage room. Annie had dimmed the lights, turned on the sounds of the ocean, and lit the citrus incense burner. Seeing everything was in place, she eyed the man on the table. He was on his stomach, his face looking down at the floor, and a towel draped across his rear.

  Her skin flushed at the sight of his back. She shouldn’t be affected by the stranger, yet there was a familiarity to him. She’d given massages to men before and never felt the zing to her chest.

  She moved her gaze to his legs, strong and firm. The man was younger than she expected. When Annie said he was a family friend, she pictured the man in his fifties. Lily didn’t look at the back of the man’s head, but she didn’t imagine him to be that old.

  “I’m Lily, I’m sure Annie told you. You can let me know how much pressure you like, or if I’m hurting you.”

  The man didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. Maybe he’d already fallen asleep. Lily liked when she could put a client to sleep. It meant she—or he—was truly relaxed. Starting with his calves, she applied citrus oil to her palms and rubbed his muscles. The man stiffened before quickly relaxing.

  By the time she’d finished his lower half, she swore she could hear him moan, especially when she worked on his hamstrings. Her skin flushed, from the heat, she’d told herself.

  Applying more oil to her hands, she skimmed her touch across his lower back, and he sighed, “Lily.”

  Her breath hitched and her gaze quickly jumped to his neck, to the back of his head, and to the little she could see of his ears and cheeks. Her heart skittered when he picked his head up and gave her a cheeky grin.

  “This feels amazing.”

  “Ty? Why did you—How did you—What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here for a massage. I hear you’re the best in town.”

  “I’m the only one in town.”

  “You’re doing great. Don’t stop.” He lowered his head to the rest again and let out another loud sigh.

  Lily stood there, frozen, passion igniting inside of her. Heat pooled in her, and she was tempted to do more—so much more—than just rub his aching back. Pretending to be professional, she continued rubbing, disguising her shaking hands by pressing harder into his muscles.

  “Why so secretive?”

  “Mm. Feels good.”

  Okay, she could understand if he didn’t want to talk in the middle of a massage, and because he already paid for it, she’d finish the job. Lily worked his shoulders and his triceps, ending at his palms and fingertips.

  The last ten minutes of his massage would be tricky.

  “If you, uh, can roll over I can massage your chest.” She hadn’t given many men massages, but had learned what they can do to a man’s anatomy. They couldn’t necessarily control their erections, and as long as they didn’t do anything about it, she dealt with the uncomfortable air in the room.

  By the way he was moaning, and the wicked glint in his eye before he rolled over, Lily knew what was underneath the towel would be impressive.

  She couldn’t help her eyes from glancing south when he’d finally turned. Ty brought his hands to his front, covering himself. A shy redness filled his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t mean for... this to happen. That’s not why I’m here.”

  “It’s okay.” She cleared her throat as her body sizzled. “It’s a natural reaction. Happens to a lot of men.”

  “What?” Ty shot up into a sitting position, apparently forgetting about the sheet and what he was trying to hide underneath it. “What men?”

  “Clients. Most are grandfathers who need their muscles worked on, that’s all.”

  “Has anyone ever... I’m sorry. It’s not my place.” He settled back down onto the bench and let his arms relax by his sides.

  “No. No one has ever done anything or said anything to make me feel uncomfortable. I appreciate your concern, though.” Lily appli
ed more oil to her palms and worked it into his shoulders. “When I found out my client was a man, I asked Annie to stick around. She’s downstairs.”

  “That’s good. I mean, she doesn’t need to stick around. I won’t... I’m not... that’s good that you’re careful.”

  “I’m very careful. About a lot of things,” she said softly.

  Ty lifted his hand and rubbed it up and down Lily’s arm as she massaged his shoulder. “I like that you’re careful.”

  “I don’t think Annie actually stuck around. It makes sense now. Why she was acting so nonchalant and kind of giggly.”

  “I made her promise not to tell you it was me.”

  “I figured.” She moved to his other shoulder avoiding his gaze that she felt on her. “So why the secret massage?”

  “I wanted to be near you with no way to escape.”

  “Oh.”

  “Well, for me to escape. You can leave when you want. I, on the other hand, am at your mercy.” He lifted his head slightly and nodded at the sheet draped across his waist.

  Lily didn’t need to take her eyes off his shoulder. She could very well see his rising erection in her peripheral vision.

  “I’ve never had a massage before. I didn’t know it would be so...”

  “Arousing?”

  “Lily.” He dropped his hand from her arm and closed his eyes. “I didn’t mean to put you in this uncomfortable situation.”

  “Looks like it’s probably more uncomfortable for you than me,” she tried to tease. She needed a moment to process Ty’s words. His actions. He was absolutely adorable with his vulnerability. For a man who had a hard time communicating, he was doing a pretty darn good job in making his apology.

  “Which was my intention. Well, minus my evident desire to be with you in every possible way.”

  “I realize men can’t always control their... reaction down there.” She didn’t like speaking in euphemisms but needed to simmer down the heat in the room. “It’s a normal reaction to stimulus. It doesn’t mean you’re in love, that you want to have sex, or that you’re even interested in a woman. It’s science. Body chemistry and all.”