Love Broken

by J. D. Hollyfield

  Damn, he’s good.

  Reaching in his back pocket, he places a condom wrapper in between his teeth.

  Then he drops his pants.

  Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t… shit.

  I look.

  His dick is fucking gorgeous. I’m not sure a dick is supposed to be beautiful. It’s a dick, but by golly his is fucking pretty. I want to pet it and brush its hair. I definitely want to suck on it a little bit.

  What the fuck did I just say?

  “You said you wanted to suck on it.”

  What!

  “Oh God, I said that out loud?”

  “Sure did. You have your eye on the prize, I see,” he pokes fun, stepping out of his pants. Walking to me, he climbs on the bed and straddles me. His model cock in perfect view, he rips the foil package open and places it on the tip of his dick. I can’t help but watch him as he slides it down his shaft, wishing that were my hand stroking him. I can tell the way I’m ogling him is turning him on. Once fully in place, his hand slowly works its way back up and down again.

  “Did you want me to leave you alone or am I gonna get to join in?” I tease, watching him gently stroke himself.

  “Oh, you’re gonna join in, all right.” He chuckles, leaning forward, taking my mouth. His lips graze mine, as his knees inch my thighs open. “You’re the main attraction.” He releases my lips and whispers in my ear. Positioning himself perfectly, he pushes inside me.

  I think both our eyes close, lost in the sensation of us. Our bodies suck each other whole. Our hands grip one another, wanting to be savages and wild, but our touch is unhurried, gentle. Chase’s slowness brings my hands into his hair, pressing for more closeness. Every time he pulls out, I urge him back in. I don’t want to acknowledge what’s happening, but this is not like the rest. This isn’t just sex. It has meaning. Emotion. Unspoken words.

  He brings himself out and again slides back, the perfection of his cock triggering my eyelids to shut. With closed eyes I grab his hair, bringing his head down. His lips hit mine and it’s like perfection exploding. Our tongues connect and the electricity sparks, breaking whatever silent moment we were sharing to end. The temptation, the urge for one another breaks through, and we begin to tear at one another. His movements become more aggressive. His hands claim every part of my body, his tongue claiming me.

  My groans of pleasure mingle with his as we fuck, make love, connect in a way that’s new for me. Who knows what it’s like for him, but I feel it. An unfamiliar territory we just entered. I last two more powerful thrusts before I lose control and clench, letting my orgasm rip through me. Chase isn’t far behind, because he thrusts roughly once, twice and on the third, he cums inside me.

  We’re both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breath. We’re sweaty and naked. I try and conjure up something humorous to say, because I’m afraid this just got awkward. Before I have a chance to speak, Chance leans up, catching my eyes.

  “I missed you.”

  Three words.

  Simple. But so much pow.

  “I… I missed you too.”

  He pulls his hands away from my waist and wraps them into my hair. “No, I really missed you. Not just this.” He brings his eyes to our still connected bodies. “I missed you.” His eyes back to mine, his look soft but with a thousand-pound weight of meaning to them. “Would you laugh at me if I confessed I was nervous to see you?”

  “Pfft, I doubt that,” I reply.

  “Swear it. I paced the hotel lobby for almost thirty minutes trying to think of something cool to say to you when I saw you.”

  I stare up at him until I realize he’s not joking. Then I bust out laughing. “And what speech exactly did you come up with?” I ask.

  He bends down, offering me a quick peck. “Well, I didn’t get very far. It started with, Hello, you look super-hot and I’m going to eat you raw. Can I help carry your bags?”

  Oh my God!

  I squeal in a fit of laughter.

  “Why are you laughing? Would you have allowed me to carry your things if I said that?” he asks, starting to tickle my ribs.

  “Stop!” I yelp, struggling to catch my breath between fits. “Seriously, yes, I would have not only let you carry my bags, but I would have let you feast on me all night long.”

  He stops instantly.

  I open my eyes, catching him intensely staring down at me.

  “Now what?” I ask, trying to control my breathing.

  “You just make me the kind of happy that I don’t know how to explain.” He’s looking me over, making sure his words sink in. “I know you think it’s because of your thunder cat ways in bed, but it’s more.”

  At that I roll my eyes. He chuckles, pressing another kiss to my lips.

  “You’re something I can’t explain, Katie. I know you’ll fight me and say how opposite we are. But to me, we’re the same.”

  I’m not sure what similarities we carry, but the look in his eyes says he’s going to tell me.

  “Anything that’s happening in my life, good or bad, the first thing I do is think about you. Because you’re the one I want to share it with.”

  A small intake of breath has me surprised at his confession. I don’t have to think hard before realizing the same conclusion. I reach up, cupping his smooth-shaven cheek. “I would have to agree with you on that. You’re my go-to too, Green. I think you have been for a long time now.”

  He crushes his mouth onto mine. Immediately, he’s parting my lips with his tongue.

  “Tell me more,” he hums, pulling away and kissing down my chin.

  “Tell you what?” I sigh, stretching my neck to give him better access.

  “Tell me all the things you like about me. Besides my glorious cock. I’m feeling needy and need you to make me feel wanted.” I prepare to whack him in the head, but he licks down my neck, taking a small nip out of my skin. I drop my hand and moan, arching my body into him.

  “You have great tongue skills,” I say, my eyes shut, lips slightly parted.

  “This is an obvious statement. Doesn’t count. Try again.” He bends lower, wrapping his wet lips around my nipple. Using his skilled tongue, he begins a swirling motion around my flesh.

  “I love your hands,” I reply and instantly yelp as he bites down on my nipple.

  “Doesn’t count. I already know you’re obsessed with my physical attributes. Give me something from here.” He lifts his hand, placing it over my heart. He raises his head, catching the sudden nervousness in my eyes. “Tell me the first thing that comes to mind from here.”

  I don’t know what he wants me to say. Confess all my wants, dreams, desires for this man? That would be opening myself up for disappointment and hurt, if this wasn’t really what this was. And if I’m not the protective bear over my own heart, who will be?

  “Give me something. Let me know I’m not just a piece of meat to you.”

  I laugh. This is silly. I’m being silly. There’s nothing wrong with a few friendly praises between lovers. “All right. Well…” I stall. Just spit it out, Katie. “I like the way you smile at me. It makes me feel… pretty.” Oh my God, that sounded so corny!

  “Because you’re beautiful. And you make me happy. And I have never smiled with such intent the way I do with you.”

  Okay his, comment was way deeper. There’s a tornado of butterflies forming in my stomach. He’s still staring down at me, his eyes filled with meaning. Intent.

  “I also lied. I want more than just one.”

  I slowly nod. My mind is racing with a million things I want to admit. How my life has been so much happier since he’s come into it. How his kindness has made me feel worth something. I want to admit that my heart feels like it’s beating for the first time since losing my parents. Maybe the bear in me is holding me back from giving my heart the full package. Maybe I need to step aside and let whatever this is fully in.

  “You make me feel alive. And I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.” I feel
his body go rigid the moment the words leave my lips.

  Idiot.

  I couldn’t have said something more basic like I enjoy your laugh or some shit?

  “You don’t have to reply—”

  Chase covers my mouth with his large hand. “Shut up, Katie. Don’t you dare take that back.” He slowly brings his hand away, dipping down to kiss me. Pulling away, he says, “I started living again the day I fell into your room. What I had before. It wasn’t happiness. It wasn’t real. I know this is crazy. Us, it’s all crazy. But I’ve known something for some time now, and I just need to get it off my chest.”

  Oh, fuck.

  “Katie, I’m…”

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  What the…

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  “Open up, Katie!”

  Oh shit!

  “Shit, it’s Kristen.”

  Chase frowns, and I panic as I toss him off me. He catches himself just before falling off the bed, and we both start scrambling for our clothes.

  “I can’t find my pants,” Chase says, looking around the room.

  “Fuck! Well, just leave without ’em, hurry!” I throw my shirt over my head and snatch my pants off the floor.

  “Seriously, Bates, get out.” I jump in front of the mirror to see how disheveled I look. “Fuck.” Yeah, I look like a guilty little hussy who was just getting it on.

  “We have a problem.”

  I whip around to face Chase, wondering why he’s even still in my room, when I notice him standing by the closed connecting door.

  “No…” I breathe.

  “We never went and unlocked it from the other side.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Katie! Open up, man!”

  Shit!

  “Get in the closet.”

  “What?”

  “Get in the closet! Right now.”

  “You have to be kidding—”

  I don’t have time to argue. I’m already pushing him inside and shutting the door on his pretty little face. I swear if he makes a peep, I’m going to murder him.

  “Katie—”

  I whip the hotel door open and smile way too brightly. “Hey! What’s up?”

  “Uhh, nothing. What took you so long?”

  I allow her to enter my room, my heart about to beat out of my chest when she stops directly in front of the closet.

  “Sorry, I was, trying to do a workout video.”

  “A workout video? Yeah, right. Do you even know what working out is?” She stands there, her hands gripping her hips.

  I give her my infamous Pffft face and start jogging in place. “Pfft. Yes, of course! See? Fitness is a new thing. Gotta stay fit and all.”

  She glares at me, looking uncomfortable at my sweet workout move. “First off, you look like a monkey trying to climb an invisible tree. Please stop. Second, you do realize that your infamous I’m lying motto is Pfft.”

  I gasp at her very accurate accusation.

  “I’m insulted.”

  “I’m sure. Your room smells weird…”

  “My shoes. Old pair.”

  “I was going to say more like—”

  “Sweat! I’m sweating. I need to shower.”

  I wish she’d stop giving me the crazy eye. “Great, sooo…”

  Shaking her head, she says, “Whatever you say, workout time’s over. Let’s grab food. I barely ever get to see you, so you’re coming out with me. Then we’re going dancing.”

  Dancing? I hate dancing. And my stomach is in knots right now with what Kristen just interrupted. The last thing I want to do right now is eat.

  “Okay, so go get in the shower. I’ll wait for you.”

  Fuck!

  Why must my friend have the worst timing ever?

  “You know what. I don’t need to shower. Let’s just go.” I walk toward the door, grabbing her arm and dragging her with me.

  “But you just said you smell?”

  “Yeah, well… For some people it’s a turn on. Going to play my cards right tonight. Now let’s go.”

  So maybe my stomach wasn’t in that big of a knotted mess, because after Kristen insisted I borrow some clothes, since she realized I was still in a tank and yoga pants, she took me to this amazing Mexican place and I just polished off an unimaginable number of tacos. After I got over the initial panic that I left Chase in my room, partially naked, I came to the realization that he was a big boy and could take care of himself. Then I began stuffing my face.

  Kristen kept the conversation off me and her suspicions, thankfully, and allowed me to stuff my face while she complained about the tour. I guess I never put too much thought into what goes into these signings, but the background work sounds absolutely horrible. Ticky-tacky requests, needy authors, no-shows, and all the safety guidelines needed for everyone involved. I would have never known that seven people passed out of dehydration at the last signing, four authors bailed last minute, and security had to break up three fights due to long line issues. And that was just on day one!

  Feisty little gang of attendees.

  We’re currently walking into Flame nightclub, a dance club on the east side of town. Kristen insisted since I was a day early and we didn’t have to be up till later tomorrow, it was time to drink. And drinking is what she plans to do.

  “Two rounds of tequila and two vodka tonics,” she orders, swinging her back against the bar to admire the hoppin’ dance floor. “Man, I bet there’s a bunch of eligible ass out there.”

  I spare her a look as she licks her lips. “Jesus, how long has it been?” I gape, feeling bad for my poor friend. Or for the victim she clasps her needy claws into later.

  “Oh, don’t give me that wait it out for love crap. I love you, but I need ass now. I can’t care less what they say that leads me to getting some. Plus, I’ve been swamped with work. No time to date.”

  “Who says you need to date to get laid?” Wow, do I sound like a walking hypocrite.

  “Well, yeah, too busy for that too.”

  Looking back at the dance floor, I feel her head turn, now giving me the look over.

  “And what about you? You’re clearly getting it.”

  I turn, and she’s looking at me in that curious, but aggressive ‘spill or else’ kinda way.

  “Who, me? No. Sex? Like with who? Like what even is that?” Shut up, Katie.

  “Then it’s a good thing you and I came out tonight. We can both get some no name tail.”

  Yeah.

  Right.

  “Oh, yeah, what about that guy? He seems to know his way around the dance floor.” She points, and I take a good look at the dude who is recreating A night at the Roxbury when a large group enters the club. “He doesn’t look like he’s wearing a ring—”

  “You’ve got to be kidding…” I trail off as I watch a few authors who I recognize, some readers, and the one and only.

  “What are you… oh, yeah, this is a prime spot for events. Close to the hotel. Focus on the dance floor. I mean, look at him move. Do you think I should just go up to him?”

  I really can’t focus on that train wreck on the dance floor when my traitorous eyes won’t stop staring at Chase. He’s changed since ditching him in my closet. Now dressed in a pair of dark fitted jeans, and a white henley shirt that looks as if it was made just for him, his hair perfectly in place, it doesn’t take long for him to feel my eyes on him and he turns, catching me gawking. As soon as I see that slow smile creep up his sexy as fuck face, I whip my head away. Then groan, because my current view is now the hot mess on the dance floor.

  “Your drinks. That’ll be twenty-one even.”

  Kristen insists on paying for this round, and we let her prospect do his thing while we tend to more important matters. Kristen lifts up her shot, and I follow suit.

  “To you being super awesome and killing it at the signing.”

  I roll my eyes, because I’m not sure I’m killing it. There are way bigger authors here than me, not to mention ones who h
ave way better free shit on their tables.

  “Don’t even give me your bullshit. Just say thank you, Kristen and take the shot with me.”

  I smile, shoving down the bullshit I was totally going to reply with.

  “Thank you, Kristen.” I beam my pearly whites at her, and we both throw back the shot. I place my empty glass on the bar, as I grab for my drink. Just as I place the straw into my mouth, I feel him. I don’t want to admit how creepy it is how my body reacts even when I can’t psychically see him, but I know he’s near me. I’m sucking in as much liquid as possible, when his deep voice washes over me, sending a blizzard of goose bumps over my skin.

  “Hello, ladies. Fancy meeting you here.” Fancy my ass.

  Kristen turns first, while I pretend he’s not there. Still sipping or chugging my drink, I wave down the bartender to come back. And to hurry.

  “Oh, hey, Charlie. Hanging with some of the authors tonight, I see?”

  At that I turn.

  Still sucking on my straw like it’s my job, I stare at Chase, waiting for him to respond. Not that I should care. He can hang out with whoever he wants to. Even though I did see the pretty brunette two tables down walk in with him.

  “Yeah, trying to get to know everyone. Plus, I didn’t want to stay holed up in the closet all night long.”

  Kristen looks confused.

  I choke on my drink.

  “Okay then. Well, have fun. Just ignore Katie and me tonight. We’re planning on making horrible decisions. Whatever you do, no mention of this once we’re all back on the clock.” Kristen turns back to the bar and grabs for her drink while Chase’s eyebrows lift in curiosity.

  “Is that so, Ms. Swan?” he questions, throwing down the gauntlet. I don’t know what to say because he’s standing there, with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, his eyes unblinking, waiting for a confirmation or denial. I’m busy choking on my own words, so I shrug my shoulders instead. Before I get the full visual of his frown, Kristen saves me. She nudges me, and I turn as another tequila shot is shoved in my hands.

  And since I’m a total pussy, instead of using my words to explain to Chase that I wasn’t planning to find a random warm body to lie with, I fill my mouth with tequila in its place.