Evidence of Desire

by Lexi Blake

  They stood at the bottom of the building they’d been living in for days and he wondered if he shouldn’t go back to his place. Isla made decisions with her heart. She didn’t think about the consequences. She was lovely and naive, and hadn’t enough people used that against her?

  And yet, he had to admit that she might be right about his newest client. Oscar Adams had been quiet and contemplative the whole time he was questioned by police. The arrogance he’d shown before had been stripped away and he proved he knew what manners were. When David had a moment alone with him, before he could even threaten the little fuck, he’d asked about Isla, begged for forgiveness.

  He wanted to throw Oscar to the wolves, but something about the way he’d spoken, how remorseful he’d been about the crime he had committed, made David think Isla was right.

  “I can handle Oscar. I’m not going to ruin my career because I hate the kid,” he said. “However, I would rather not think about it tonight. I need to work some things out with Isla.”

  They had to talk, but the thought of where that talk could go made him feel sick inside.

  “Of course,” Margarita said. “I’m going to hang at Noah’s and go over some of this paperwork. I’ll look for anything we can use, but I’m betting the arrest was by the book. We might have better luck with the warrant to search. The bail hearing is Friday morning.”

  “I’m handling that. We’ll take his passport, but I’m worried about this one,” Noah explained. “He’s got resources and he wouldn’t be the first privileged kid to run from his crimes.”

  “Yeah, he doesn’t have the resources you think he has.” David pressed the button that would take him to Isla. “I’ll shoot you a copy of the will. Isla holds the keys to his cash, and there are numerous clauses to control who has access to the estate and the money. He has no right to any freely held money until he’s thirty. He’s not going anywhere. We’ll agree to house arrest. I’m worried about what happens to that arrogant ass if he hits the general population at Rikers.”

  Margarita shuddered. “They’ll eat him alive.”

  “Then we’ve got some work to do.” Noah put a hand on Margarita’s back, an oddly possessive gesture that she didn’t seem to notice. “Let’s pick up some dinner and head back to my place.”

  She was nodding as Noah started to lead her off. He said something that made her laugh, her head thrown back, and for a moment they genuinely looked like a couple. Not work partners. Noah leaned in, whispering to her, and it felt far more intimate than anything between coworkers. One of these days, Noah would make a move and Margarita would have a decision to make.

  He didn’t think that was what Drew Lawless had intended when he set up one of his best corporate lawyers to watch over his baby brother. Or perhaps it was exactly what he’d wanted. The eldest Lawless played some deep games.

  He didn’t want to leave Isla. He didn’t want this thing between them to be over. The truth was she still wasn’t safe. Until they figured out how Kristoff Paloma fit into this new paradigm, he shouldn’t leave her.

  Or he could play it smart, hire a bodyguard for her, and walk away. He could explain that it had been a nice affair, but that they both needed to rejoin the real world and it simply wouldn’t work out.

  Yeah, he kind of wanted to kick his own ass for even thinking about it.

  He didn’t have to make the decision. Not yet. He could have a few more days with her, maybe a week.

  And then what?

  He wasn’t listening to his conscience. His conscience sucked and wouldn’t get him what he wanted.

  God, he wanted her. He needed her. The whole lousy day was crashing down on him and the only thing that would make it better was to get his hands on her.

  Would she welcome him or tell him to go to hell because he’d been so crabby with her earlier? Would she hold him off until they’d had that talk that would inevitably crush them both?

  His body hummed the whole way up to the penthouse. They would leave here soon, and he had no idea what would happen then. This place had become a sanctuary where they didn’t have to think about the future, where they only had to be.

  He shoved the thoughts out of his head. None of it mattered because they could have tonight and tomorrow. They could have until it was safe for her to go home.

  The doors opened and he strode in. Isla was sitting on the sofa, talking to Erin and Liam. He got the feeling they might have found something, but he didn’t care. He needed more than the case. He needed her.

  She turned to him, her eyes lighting up. “You’re back. Hey, we found a couple of places with CCTVs that might have picked up someone moving around at that time of night. Li and Erin are going to check them out before they head home for the weekend.”

  “I don’t think he cares,” Li said with his thick accent. There was an amused smile on his face.

  Erin glanced up and mirrored her partner. “Oh, yeah. I know that look. We’ll get takeout. I don’t think she’s cooking tonight.”

  “David?” Isla stood up and looked so damn sweet and sexy in jeans that hugged her every curve and a sweater that showed off her breasts.

  He didn’t bother to speak. He’d tried that earlier and screwed everything up. If she wanted to talk, she could do it in the bedroom without her clothes on. He would try to listen while he drove himself deep inside her. That was what he needed, what he’d craved all day. Connection.

  He picked her up and started for the bedroom.

  “David,” she said, completely surprised. “What are you doing?”

  “Decompressing. Relaxing. Finding my sanity after spending hours and hours locked in a room with two people I would rather see dead than waste my time on. I’m involved in this shitty case with that shitty prosecutor because I can’t stand the thought of letting you down. The very least you can do is let me find some peace at the end of a long day.”

  Her arms went around his neck as he turned down the hall. “Maybe we should talk about this.”

  “I’m all talked out.”

  She held on to him. “But earlier you seemed so mad at me.”

  “Not mad. I can’t get mad at you. Scared for you, yes, but never mad. I want the best for you. But right now, I just want you,” he admitted. He kicked open the door and eased her to the floor, turning and pulling her into his arms. His mouth found hers, and something eased inside him when she sighed and flowered open for him.

  Her body softened against his. “You don’t have to be scared. I can take care of myself.”

  He doubted that. Oh, she was competent and smart, but she was so wide open and willing to be vulnerable, so willing to give of herself. That was what scared the crap out of him.

  Still, he didn’t want to fight. Not tonight. She was safety and pleasure and joy all wrapped up in one gorgeous package, and the selfish part of him wanted to take everything she had for himself. She would accept him. She would make vows with no idea of what was coming and then be foolish enough to keep them, to keep him.

  He could wrap her up before she knew how damaged he was. If he could get her in front of a judge and have her sign that piece of paper that would bind them together, she would never leave him.

  His tongue found hers and tangled in a sensual dance, his body ready and wanting. All it took was a thought of her, a glance from her, a single vision skimming across his brain and he was ready for her. No woman in the world had ever taken hold of him the way she did. Mind and body and soul. He was hers, and there was nothing more he wanted to be.

  Her hands moved on him, restless and searching. She moved her hands down his back to cup his ass as she pressed her body to his. “I thought you would be angry with me for making you rep Oscar.”

  “I hate Oscar and he’s a little shit, and if he ever hits you again I’ll put him through a window,” he admitted. “Take off my shirt. I want your hands on me. Did I mention t
he window I’ll shove him through is not on the ground floor?”

  Her hands immediately moved and her fingers started working their way down his shirt. “I know it was upsetting, but it was also something of a breakthrough.”

  Because she thought Oscar had finally admitted what the real problem was? He didn’t care. All he could think about was showing the young man how a real man hit. With a fist and pure fury.

  Only the oath he’d made to the New York State Bar Association kept him from tanking Oscar’s chances at freedom someday. “I was a very good boy today. I made sure our client didn’t incriminate himself, but you have to know I want him in jail for hitting you.”

  She pulled his shirt free and shoved it off his shoulders. Her eyes roamed his torso, and the light he saw there made every rough hour at the gym so fucking worthwhile. “I know you do. For the record, I would feel the same way about you. How about next time you can be the one who gets smacked and you can try to tamp down my crazy?”

  God, he loved her. “I would greatly prefer that.”

  He wanted to be the wall in front of her, keeping out all the people who would take advantage of her sweet nature. Everyone but him.

  Her hands moved across his shoulders and started down his chest. He was well aware he was a beast and she was soothing him with her affectionate petting. He didn’t care. All that mattered was it worked. In the past he would have hit the gym or run a few miles to burn off the bad energy of the day, but now he knew it wouldn’t work. None of that shit would ever work again because he’d found his peace and it was with her.

  Her hands went to the buckle of his belt and then the fly, opening his slacks and easing them down.

  His heart rate tripled. Yeah, this was way better than the gym.

  She looked up at him, her eyes wide and shockingly innocent. Even as her hands moved down to stroke his cock, there was nothing dirty about her stare. Just that clear gaze that kicked him in the gut every time. He thought about what she’d said before. She acted. She didn’t react. She kept the core of who she was pure and didn’t allow that precious soul space to be infected with anger or pain.

  Was that how she could open herself? Even after everything she’d lost?

  “I don’t understand you.” But he wanted to.

  Her hand moved over the stalk of his cock, taking his breath away. “I’m simple, David. There’s nothing complex about me.”

  Oh, but there was. She didn’t act like anyone he’d ever met. She was capable of things he couldn’t dream of. “You care about me.”

  Her lips curled up in the sweetest smile. “What makes you think that?” She stroked him with a firm grip, from right above his balls to the head, where her thumb moved over him, lubricating her hand with the liquid she found there. “There’s nothing complex about how I feel about you. It’s simple and easy to care about you. I started pretty much the moment I met you. You’re a lovable man. You’re smart and kind, and I don’t know if anyone has ever mentioned this but you are incredibly hot. Also, you’re amazing in bed and I want to fuck you all the time. It’s really hard to concentrate.”

  He put a hand on the wall behind her because he needed balance. He wanted to put his hand over hers and force her to go faster, rub harder, but he was determined to let this go at her pace. “That’s not what I meant. I need to know how you can care for me after what happened. After what happened to your fiancé. How can you offer yourself up again? I want to understand.”

  Her hand came off him, but she didn’t move away. He gritted his teeth and bit back a curse. Why did he have to push her? Why couldn’t he simply accept that what they had was something that would last as long as it did and be happy to have had it at all?

  But no, he had to take that good thing and poke it and prod it. He had to push it until it broke so he knew this good thing was like all the rest. Temporary. Unreliable.

  Her hands came back up to his chest, one right over his heart. “David, I was in a shell for a long time after Austin died. I didn’t date for years. Austin and I had gotten close in high school. We had sex but only after he got sick. We were waiting for our wedding night. I know that sounds silly and old fashioned, but we wanted it to be special. And then he refused to marry me because he was going to die. I pretty much seduced him into sleeping with me, but he wouldn’t marry me. He tried to get me to leave him. Told me he didn’t love me. Basically all the stupid things a guy will do to try to save the delicate female of his choice.”

  Heat flashed through his system because he was that guy. He started to step away from her, but her arms wound around his waist and she cuddled up against him.

  “I’m not delicate, David. I’m stronger than you can imagine. I took all his pain and I lived through it because I loved him. Because I watched how my parents loved each other and I wanted that. You can’t have that kind of love if you’re always afraid of losing something. That kind of love is brave. That kind of love knows that it’s worth the trouble, worth the pain. I went into a deep depression, but Carey was there. He gave me the internship, helped me with law school. He gave me something to focus on. And after a while, I was ready. I was ready to live some more. I kissed a couple of complete frogs. I tried sex again. And then I found you and I was really ready. I don’t want this to be some short-term fling. If that’s what you want, you should tell me now. It won’t change my mind. I’m still about to get on my knees and worship that cock of yours, but it will give me a chance to process that this isn’t going to go how I want it to.”

  He let his forehead rest against hers. With any other woman, this would be a fight, not some intimate discussion where she politely asked if he was going to leave her. “See, that, that right there. I don’t understand. If I’m unwilling to give you what you want, why would you do that? Why would you reward me for failing you?”

  “Because I wouldn’t consider it a failure. Not everything lasts. Not everything is meant to be, but it can be beautiful anyway. Maybe Austin was the love of my life or maybe he was merely my first love, the one I had to learn from so I could find you. Maybe you’ll end up breaking my heart, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t spare myself the heartache because loving you, even if it’s only for a little while, makes me feel, and that’s the best we can hope for. To feel and love and be connected. To know even for these brief moments that we are not alone. So yes, I will take all the time with you I can, and I’ll thank you for it even if you choose to walk away.”

  To feel? God, she made him feel. So fucking much. Too much, but he wouldn’t change it. He cupped her face and looked at her, connecting with her. “I don’t want short term. I don’t want a hookup or a booty call or anything that isn’t committed and serious, but I don’t know what happens when we’re back in the real world. There’s so much you don’t know. Risks you might not want to take.”

  “There’s very little I wouldn’t risk to feel like this, David,” she said with that beatific smile of hers.

  “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  “Yes, I do. I know exactly what I’m saying and I mean every word. You, Mr. Cormack, have never been properly loved. Your wife married you for your career and she wanted babies more than she wanted the marriage. But the marriage is everything. I can show you. I can teach you. You can be the badass who protects me at every turn, but I get to teach you how to be properly and completely and wholly adored.” She sank down and this time he let her.

  He knew he was a bastard and that he should tell her no. He should walk away and not look back and know that he’d done the right thing, but she was his Kryptonite. Yearning that had nothing to do with sex wound its way through him. He wanted to know how Isla Shayne loved a man. He wanted more than anything in his life to be that man.

  She eased him out of his loafers and then pulled his slacks and boxers down. He was naked in front of her but there was nothing awkward about it. Lust and love were right ther
e in her eyes. She settled in and took a long breath. His cock strained as though the damn thing knew how close it was to heaven. Isla leaned over, her eyes up on him, and that sweet pink tongue of hers came out and swirled around his cockhead.

  Pure desire lit his system, and it took every bit of willpower he had not to fist his hands in her hair and force his dick deep.

  Instead he took a long breath and let the sensation wash over him. All of his life he’d worked toward a specific goal, ignoring everything else around him. It was how he’d been taught. Eyes on the ball, the prize, the case. But what if there was another way to be happy? What if his eyes should be on her? For so long it was about lifting his family out of poverty, out of the daily battle that raged from paycheck to paycheck, but money hadn’t made him happy or content. He enjoyed his career but there had to be something more.

  She was something more.

  He let himself give over to the glorious feel of her mouth on his cock. She played unabashedly, licking and sucking, leaving not an inch of him untouched. Her tongue ran over him, dancing across his skin. Her small hand came up to cup his balls, rolling and playing. She squeezed him gently as she sucked at his cockhead, the sensations making his whole body shake.

  He looked down at her. She was a gorgeous goddess of a woman, giving him everything he could possibly want. He reached down and pulled her hair out of the bun she’d pinned up at the back of her head. His fingers tangled in the soft stuff, and he loved how she groaned against his skin. That throaty sound reverberated over his cock.

  If he let her, she would be the one tangling around his soul, making herself a necessary part of his every day. If he gave in, she could be the best part of his days, of the rest of his life.

  If he could only trust that his future would be one he wanted to give her, to share with her.

  He let it go. She wanted what he could give her in the here and now. She’d promised him she could be satisfied with finding joy today and in the tomorrows they might have. He couldn’t walk away from her. Not now. Maybe not ever.