Evidence of Desire

by Lexi Blake

  “I’m sure Paloma will talk. He’s going to do anything he can to get out of this. Amber, on the other hand, I hear is being very quiet. From what we heard, she lawyered up and shut down entirely. I think she might make a play for insanity,” Henry said. “I don’t think it’s going to work, but she directly told David she did it.”

  “Me, too. And Miranda.” Amber had been so broken. It was like a light had shut off inside her and she was hollowed out. She hadn’t looked like a woman who was merely upset that she was caught.

  Henry’s gaze snared hers. “It was a brave thing you did, hiding her and taking on Paloma yourself.”

  “Anyone would have done it and it gave Miranda a chance to call the police,” Isla said.

  “No.” He shook his head. “Not anyone would have done it. It was incredibly brave. I hope you know that. I admire you very much.”

  She glanced back at the hallway that led to the door David had firmly closed between them, the door she meant to bust open. “Good, I’m brave and that means you should try to help me. What’s wrong with David?”

  “Physically or mentally?”

  “Just talk to me, Henry. I know the bullet only grazed him.”

  Henry seemed to think about what to say. “The bullet wasn’t the issue, though it took off a tiny portion of his earlobe. Noah’s already started with the Van Gogh jokes.”

  “Somehow I think I can live with the loss.” She knew it wasn’t the injury that had sent David into a tailspin, but she couldn’t think of why he would shut her out. He’d said they had something to talk about. Had he been planning on ending it then? Then why had he been so desperate to save her?

  “It wasn’t the bullet that put us here,” Henry explained. “He fell back and hit his head pretty hard against that marble floor. The reason he lost consciousness wasn’t the bullet. It was the fall and the concussion. You know he played football for years, right?”

  “Of course.”

  “This isn’t his first concussion.”

  She hadn’t assumed it was. “But he’s all right?”

  “He’s fine. But it took him a couple of hours. He woke up and he was really upset that he couldn’t remember his words.”

  “His words?”

  A long sigh came from Henry. “He uses several mnemonic devices to keep his memory sharp. He couldn’t remember the words he’d memorized yesterday and he kind of lost his damn mind.”

  Why would he care about a few words? Unless . . . They’d talked about this, but he hadn’t directly said it. “He thinks he has CTE.”

  “I know he worries about it,” Henry allowed.

  She groaned her frustration. Not only had David had a physical setback, he’d also spent a good portion of the day before in the company of a man suffering from the very disease he feared. She could imagine some of the things Trey had likely said to him. Especially if David had asked him for advice. Trey wouldn’t have been optimistic. He was in a dark place with a dark prognosis.

  All of her conversations with David about Trey had to be reevaluated and filtered through the new information. She’d thought he was being heartless, but she had to take out Trey’s name and fill in David’s. This wasn’t about shoving a problem away. It was about David being the potential problem. It was about sacrifice.

  Idiot. Masculine dumbass.

  “I’m going in now, Henry.”

  He stepped in front of her. “I was told to keep you out. I know he’s being difficult, but he’s my best friend in the world.”

  It was time to draw some firm lines in the sand. “And he’s going to be my husband one day. Don’t doubt me, Henry Garrison. I might look all soft and sweet, but I have a spine like nothing you’ve seen before. I love that man and I won’t allow some potential disease to come between us. So you get to choose how our personal relationship is going to work from here on out, best friend. You can understand that I’m going to get my way in this or you can play into David’s insecurities and make this worse for me and I’ll remember that for all of time.”

  Henry stepped out of her way, offering her an easy path to David. “All right, then. I’m more afraid of you than him. You have my full support.”

  Excellent. She started for the door.

  “Isla?”

  She turned. “Yes?”

  “He’s afraid. He thinks he’s doing the right thing by you. Go easy on him,” Henry said.

  “I would love to go easy on him. I would love to walk into that room and coddle him and promise him all manner of filthy sex if he does what the doctors tell him to do. I would take care of him. But I have to break through to him first. He might ask you to file a restraining order against me before all of this is done.”

  Henry’s hands came up. “Not my specialty. I think he’ll find Noah and Margarita aren’t very good at those either.”

  Good. One less thing to worry about. She turned again, ready for the fight of her life.

  * * *

  • • •

  He hated Jell-O. And pudding. The next person who tried to give him pudding would get the staring of a lifetime. Could he sue over how shitty the food was? There had to be something he could do because sitting in this bed knowing that any minute now Henry would walk in and tell him he’d sent Isla away was making him fucking crazy.

  Would she cry? Would she think it was her fault? Or that he was a complete dick and he was done with her?

  How would it affect her?

  Maybe she would shrug and move on. Maybe she was way smarter than he was giving her credit for and she would thank him for dodging that bullet.

  Except he hadn’t. Dodged the bullet. He had a half hole in his right ear to prove that he hadn’t even been able to manage that.

  He had managed to make her cry. The time in the penthouse was foggy, but he could see her looking down at him and crying. How much would he make her cry if he stayed with her? She wouldn’t be smart. She would stand by his side even when it got rough.

  She could end up like Portia. Or his mom.

  It didn’t matter now. He’d done what he needed to do. Isla might try to call but he wouldn’t answer. She was safe now. There was no reason to keep things going when they would fall apart. She was safe and free to find someone who could give her the life she deserved.

  And he would spend the rest of his life mourning her. Because he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was love. What he’d felt before was a pittance compared to the love he had for Isla.

  The door started to swing open. Henry. Maybe it was over and she could get on with her life. She would cry and hurt for a while, but she would see someday this was for the best. He would catch a glimpse of her and maybe hear whispers about her. She would find a healthy man, a good man, and have a family, and that man would take care of her for the rest of her life.

  Or he would answer to David Cormack.

  Yes, she would be upset and then she would move on.

  “You’re a coward and it’s not going to work.”

  Not Henry. He managed to turn and there was Isla. She was in the same clothes she’d worn earlier. No shower and change for her. Nope. She’d dealt with the cops and come over here as soon as she could because that was how Isla handled her responsibilities. Even tired and a bit on the ragged side, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  Had she gotten around Henry? He hadn’t expected her to sneak in. “What are you doing here?”

  “Talking to my coward boyfriend.” She frowned at him, standing at the end of his bed. Despite how tired she must be, she looked like sunshine to him. He wanted to scoot over and ask her to hop into bed with him so he could cuddle against her and know she was warm and alive and here.

  Instead he was going to have to do what Henry should have. “I’d asked Henry to let you know I wanted to be alone.”

  She crossed her arms un
der her breasts. It made them stand out more. “Yes, he tried. I explained the way of the world to him.”

  Was she angry? It wasn’t the reaction he’d expected from her. He needed to make himself plain. Apparently, Henry was shitty at breaking up with a woman. “Isla, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

  She groaned and shook her head. “And now you’re a liar, too. It’s okay. I am actually glad this happened. It was probably inevitable. You’ve got a martyr complex.” She moved to the side of the bed, but didn’t reach out to touch him. “Are they letting you out soon? Or keeping you for a while?”

  “They’re releasing me in the morning.” What had she said? “I don’t have a martyr complex.”

  “Oh, you so do.” She glanced around and found the lounger. “I guess this will have to work. I’m going to find a blanket. It’s cold in here.”

  He had to regain control. The reason he’d asked Henry to talk to her was because he was afraid if he saw her, he’d give in to his needs. Now he realized she wasn’t reacting at all the way he thought she would. “You’re not spending the night here. Did you not hear a word I said? I don’t want to see you. I don’t want you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Heard and rejected, Counselor. When I’m talking to David again and not David’s completely irrational fear, I’ll listen. Until then, I’m going to find a blanket and settle in because I’m supertired. You need to think about whether we’re going to move into your place or mine.”

  “I’m going to call security.”

  She stopped and moved in close. “You want them to arrest me?”

  God, she was gorgeous. She was every single thing he wanted in a woman, and he even liked this aggressive part of her. “I don’t want to.”

  Her lips curled up. “Good, because I do think you need to rest and it would suck for you to then have to follow me down and arrange for bail. It would be messy.” She leaned in. “David, it’s not going to work. Don’t bother to try.”

  She was close, close enough that if he moved up even slightly, he could press his lips to hers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I changed my mind about us.”

  “I love you. Don’t make this hard on me.” She leaned forward, but her lips found his forehead. “Are you supposed to stay awake tonight? Because of the concussion? What did the doctors say?”

  She was going to make him crazy. He wasn’t sure how to handle her. “You should leave.”

  “Make me.”

  “Damn it, Isla.” He was on the verge of getting emotional and he didn’t want that. He needed to be rational and cold. He needed to remember all the reasons this was the right path.

  She stared down at him, her clear blue eyes boring a hole to his soul. “Then tell me you don’t love me.”

  “I don’t . . .” Fuck. He couldn’t do it. “It’s not going to work.”

  “That wasn’t ‘I don’t love you,’” she said with a sigh. “As long as you love me and I love you, it will work out. Now, do you want me to tell you what I found out about the case? Besides Amber being the bad guy. There’s something else going on here. Too many unanswered questions.”

  “I don’t want to talk about the case.” The case didn’t matter now. “We need to talk about this. You have to be reasonable.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  He wasn’t even sure what to say to her. “If I don’t want to see you again, what exactly are you going to do about it?”

  “See, this is where you’ve underestimated your opponent, Counselor. You see my kindness and kind of gooey middle and think it’s weakness. I can see it all play out in your head. You can spare me a life of pain. You’re going to turn out exactly like Trey Adams one day. Let’s not even discuss the odds of that. It’s only twenty-eight percent.”

  He could argue on that one. “My father has Alzheimer’s, so my risk is greater.”

  “Objection.”

  “This is not a trial.”

  “Isn’t it though? And I object to your bad research.” She sat down on the bed, her hand mere inches from his. “If you’re going to use the Internet for research, keep up to date. Did you know that a study a few years ago showed there’s little impact on a person’s chance for getting Alzheimer’s if it’s the father who has the disease?”

  What was she talking about? “We know there’s a genetic component.”

  “There is,” she agreed. “It runs through the maternal DNA. Or at least there’s strong evidence that it does. Also, there’s good evidence that it’s only early onset Alzheimer’s that’s highly inheritable. When was your father diagnosed?”

  “He was seventy-six. He’s had it for six years now.” How did she know so much?

  She nodded as though she’d suspected that fact. “Then he’s late onset and there’s only a slight risk associated. So we’re back to a twenty-eight percent chance that your brain is going to go bad on us. Don’t test my knowledge. I went through all of this with Portia when we got Trey’s diagnosis. I studied up on CTE and Alzheimer’s because for a while they weren’t sure which one he had. Is your mother suffering?”

  His mother was sharp as a tack. “Not from Alzheimer’s. But that one-in-three shot that my brain is going to go is enough. You know what it was like for Portia. My mother has to take care of everything. She can’t be happy.”

  “Marriage isn’t all about happiness.” She took a deep breath and continued on. “So you got another bump on the head and freaked out. You decided to be the white knight. All you need to do is turn me away and I’ll be safe. Did you worry about me crying? Maybe feeling bad about myself? Because I didn’t and I won’t. I won’t have to because I will win this war. I’ve already fought it once. I might not have won every battle, but I was by his side when he died. I held his hand. I got what was my right.”

  “Isla,” he began. She shouldn’t have to do this again. Couldn’t she see that’s what he was trying to save her from?

  She shook her head. “No, you’ve talked enough. Now you’re going to listen. I’m not weak. I’m not some fluffy thing you need to protect. I am a grown woman who knows exactly what I want and who I want it with, and I’m brave. I learned at a very young age that life isn’t neat and tidy. It isn’t fair, but it can be beautiful. Even when it’s at its harshest, it can be beautiful if we let it.”

  “There was nothing beautiful about what happened to Trey Adams.”

  “But he had a wonderful life before,” she said wistfully. “Do you honestly believe he would give that up? I know Portia wouldn’t have.”

  “He would. He would do it to save her,” David said, emotion finally getting the better of him. “He would do it so she wouldn’t have spent the last years having to be his mother and not his wife.”

  She stared at him, her eyes clear. “You want some guarantee that life is going to turn out like you want it, but that’s not the way it goes. Do you intend to spend the rest of your life without love? Because getting the disease is a tragedy. What you’re talking about is pure cowardice. You’re afraid you might be a burden one day. What if it was me? I could get cancer. My only aunt died of breast cancer. Should I live in fear and not try to have a family because one day they might have to take care of me?”

  How could he make her understand? “It’s not the same.”

  “It’s exactly the same, and we obviously have two different versions of family,” Isla replied. “Taking care of each other through the good and the bad and the desperate is what family does. And if you don’t see that, then maybe you aren’t the man for me. I don’t know. I’m going to sleep on it.” She moved to the small closet and grabbed the extra pillow and blanket.

  “We should talk.” He couldn’t let this go on. Could he?

  “In the morning. It’s getting late. Wake me up if your brain explodes.” She settled in.

  “It’s not funny.”

  She lay down, eas
ing the lounger back. “Learn from a pro, Cormack. If you don’t laugh about it, you cry, and laughing is way more fun. And just so you know, I was a kid when I let Austin refuse to marry me. I’m a woman now. Get used to it.”

  Her eyes closed.

  It was moments before he could see the way her breathing became rhythmic, her body relaxed.

  His wife. His indomitable, take-no-prisoners, leave-no-man-behind wife.

  No. He couldn’t.

  The door opened and the nurse walked in, her eyes widening when she saw he wasn’t alone. Her voice took on a hushed tone. “Your friend said you would probably want some more Jell-O.”

  He was going to kill Henry.

  * * *

  • • •

  Hours later, when the sun was shining, the door opened again. He grimaced. The nurses had been regular in their care, waking him up every few hours even though he’d barely slept at all. He’d turned off the light and lain there, staring at Isla.

  Isla, the brave.

  Isla, the unrelenting.

  Isla, the soundest sleeper in the world.

  At seven, he’d turned on the TV to the morning news shows and she hadn’t even stirred. He’d watched the coverage as he half ate the mush they’d brought him. He’d even groaned at the sight of Royce Osborne making the rounds and acting like he’d cracked the case.

  Asshole.

  Isla had slept through it all.

  How was he going to convince her to leave? He wasn’t sure he had it in him to be vicious enough to scare her away.

  He turned in bed and was surprised. The woman who walked in wasn’t another nurse, though she’d been awfully good at taking care of him. “Hey, Mom.”

  His mother smiled, her face lined with age but still lovely to him. He could remember when she was the most beautiful woman in the world. “Hey, baby boy. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. That nice Noah is sitting with your father for me. They’re playing checkers. He’s having a good morning.”