The Gift of Love (Finding Love Book 9)

by Delaney Cameron

  Because he doesn’t love me.

  “Since I know how forgetful men can be, I’m going to assume Stratton didn’t tell you anything. As part of the divorce settlement, you’ll be getting alimony of $3,000 a month. The money will be deposited in your checking account on the fifteenth.”

  Leah leaned forward. “That can’t be right. Stratton and I agreed he would pay my expenses while I was living with him. He never said anything about alimony.”

  “I don’t hear women refusing free money very often.”

  The words Leah and Stratton exchanged months ago ran through her head.

  “It’s a debt I can never repay.”

  “It’s not a debt, Stratton. It’s a gift.” A gift of love.

  A blaze of pure anger temporarily replaced the disillusionment and anguish inside her. How could he offer her money? If the gesture wasn’t insult enough, the amount more than made up for it. Giving her alimony meant he hadn’t accepted her gift in the spirit of friendship.

  “Well, you’re hearing one now,” she said as calmly as she could. “I don’t want his money. Not one cent. I’m not an employee looking for a severance package.”

  Esther leaned back in her chair. “I don’t think that’s what Stratton intended. What you did for him was extraordinary, and he knew that. This was the only practical way he could show his appreciation.”

  This explanation did little to improve Leah’s sense of disappointment and outrage. “I’m sure he thought he was doing a good thing, but I can’t possibly accept it.”

  “He’s not going to be happy about this.”

  Leah smiled faintly. “I’m not overly concerned with his feelings right now. He should have discussed this with me beforehand.”

  “I suggested that to him at the time.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That you were as stubborn as a mule.”

  “Then he shouldn’t be surprised to find out that this mule knows how to kick.”

  Esther laughed as she handed Leah a stack of legal-size forms. “All I need is your signature on these, and you can be on your way.”

  By the time she got to the last page, Leah’s fingers were trembling so badly she could hardly write. Her anger with Stratton about the alimony payments had dwindled to a persistent ache in the region of her heart. If this is how it felt to end a marriage in name only, she couldn’t imagine what it must be like when the two people involved had actually loved each other.

  The list of errands she had planned to do was forgotten. Leah just wanted to be alone. She was standing in the kitchen staring blankly out the window when her phone rang. It was the second time her sister had called this week. She couldn’t ignore her a third time.

  “Hey, Violet.”

  “I haven’t heard from you since the funeral. How are you doing, Leah?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “We can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but you and Stratton are in our thoughts and prayers.”

  Leah had told her family about Stratton going to Yemen, but she hadn’t yet worked up the courage to mention her pending divorce. The last thing she wanted from anyone right now was pity. “I appreciate that.”

  “If there’s anything we can do, please let us know.”

  “I will.”

  “I heard from Holly the other day. She found the perfect place for her consignment shop. It used to be a café so it’ll need some renovation. Devon and his brother-in-law Eric are going to do the work themselves. When they finish, Summer and I are planning a trip to St. Marys to help her set up the store. You should come, too. We can use all the help we can get.”

  It was on the tip of Leah’s tongue to refuse, but something stopped her. Sitting in her apartment all day wasn’t getting her anywhere. Maybe a change of scene would provide the stimulus she needed to rejoin the world. “I’ll think about it and let you know.”

  * * * * *

  Stratton lay awake listening to the cats running around outside the dwelling he was sharing with his Yemen colleague and an anesthesiologist from Sweden. After a week of training in Paris, he arrived in Khamir, a town ravished by war and poverty. The field hospital where he would be working was composed of nine inflatable tents. The contrast between here and the state-of-the-art facilities and range of treatments available at home would have been laughable if it hadn’t been so pathetic. This was healthcare at its most basic and primitive level, akin to stepping back in time twenty or thirty years.

  The members of the surgical team were from diverse backgrounds and countries, ranging in age from mid-twenties to upper-fifties. One of the lighter moments of the first day had been a discussion over dinner about the difficulty of fitting everything needed for a nine month assignment in one bag. Some of the more interesting items people brought were a PlayStation, an oversized box of Swiss chocolates and a solar-powered headlamp. The only luxury item Stratton allowed himself was The Hobbit. Every time he looked at it, he remembered those precious hours spent in Denver’s room. He’d give everything he owned for just one more opportunity to read with him.

  Trying to find a comfortable position in a bed half the size of his normal one wasn’t easy, but he had a feeling that after tomorrow, falling asleep would be the least of his problems. The surgeons had been told to expect long days in the operating room performing anywhere from seven to twelve procedures. That was more than he normally did in a week. The thought of hard work didn’t bother him; he welcomed it. He wanted to be so busy he couldn’t think and so tired he couldn’t dream.

  Since he left home, his thoughts had been on a perpetual loop between Denver and Leah. The former had been taken from him and the latter he’d given away. Like most things with her, he was torn between what he wanted to do and what he had to do. For that reason, he’d already decided that when this assignment ended, he wasn’t returning to Hutchison Clinic. The best thing he could do for Leah was stay away. He’d disrupted her life enough.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Have you found a job yet?” Holly asked Leah as the two of them sorted through boxes of donated clothes.

  “No, but that’s not surprising. I haven’t been looking very hard.”

  “I can understand that. When I lost my mom, I stayed in the house for weeks on end. It was like I was paralyzed physically and mentally.”

  “That about covers it. Everything I see reminds me of Denver.”

  “How often do you hear from Stratton?”

  Leah’s deception about Stratton’s departure from her life was getting harder and harder to maintain. It saved her the humiliation of admitting her marriage was a sham, but it also meant keeping the pain of his rejection bottled up inside. The urge to share it with Holly, a friend of the family for years, was overwhelming. If she was going to spill her guts, this was the perfect time. Summer and Violet had gone with Devon to pick up Rebecca and Jordan from his sister’s house. It was an excuse to meet Julie’s husband Eric, a former professional baseball player.

  “I haven’t spoken to Stratton in months, and I don’t anticipate hearing from him again.”

  Holly put down the shirt she was folding. “I had a feeling something like this had happened when Summer told me he went to Yemen. A husband doesn’t desert his wife at such a critical time.”

  “You’re right, but our marriage wasn’t a normal one. I agreed to marry Stratton for Denver’s sake. Part of that agreement was that we would go our separate ways afterward.”

  “Did you fall in love with him before or after you married him?”

  Leah didn’t bother to ask how Holly knew she loved Stratton. “Before. I shouldn’t be so angry with him for sticking to the deal we made, but I can’t shake the feeling of being tossed aside like a piece of unwanted furniture. At a time when two people who shared that type of experience should have been the closest, he pushed me away and treated me like an unwanted guest who’d overstayed her welcome. I think that hurt me more than anything.”

  Instead of words, Holly
pulled Leah into her arms. The comfort she found there was a balm to her battered spirit. After a few minutes, they drew apart, each taking a moment to wipe away the tears in their eyes.

  “I know what it’s like to be rejected by someone, Leah. It’s a wound that never completely heals, but I’m here to tell you that you can get through it. Take one day at a time and remember that you have to measure your progress in months, not weeks or days. Mending a broken heart is a slow process. There’s no quick fix.”

  “I feel better just talking about it to someone. This has been eating at me for weeks.”

  “Have you thought about getting away for a while?”

  “To where? Columbus?”

  Holly shook her head. “I was thinking about here in St. Marys. My next door neighbor works in the office at Jordan’s school. She told me they recently lost their school nurse. The lady who was doing it had to leave suddenly for health reasons. They’re not sure if she’ll be able to come back. I know this job is well below your skill level, but it would get you away from a situation that’s causing you pain. You could stay with me. Devon and I have a guestroom that’s begging for an occupant.”

  Leah reached for Holly’s hand. “I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what to do, and you came up with a great suggestion after talking to me for ten minutes.”

  “Does that mean I can tell Wanda to stop looking for a school nurse?”

  “Yes, but you might want to make sure Devon doesn’t mind having his home invaded by a bossy female.”

  Holly laughed. “He’s already got two of those; one more won’t bother him.”

  “If I’m going to be here, I can help you with the shop.”

  “That would be awesome. You’re my second volunteer. Jordan said he’d come in after school.”

  “Speaking of Jordan, I almost fainted when he walked in here this morning. He’s grown at least six inches since I saw him last.”

  “I told Devon his days of being the tallest in the house are almost over.”

  “What about Rebecca? Is she coming to work with you like she did in Columbus?”

  “Right now the plan is for her to stay with Julie. Once I’m making enough profit to hire an assistant, I can bring Rebecca with me. According to Summer, having a baby at Second Time Around increased our sales. I never actually tracked it, but it sounds good.”

  “She has a point. No one can resist a baby.”

  “I wonder what your family is going to think about you coming here.”

  Leah looked beyond Holly. “We’re about to find out. Devon just dropped off two members of my family. I’ll let Summer tell us about the visit with Eric and Julie first. That way I don’t have to repeat it later because she wasn’t listening.”

  Holly chuckled. “It’s good to know she hasn’t changed since I left.”

  Just as Leah had predicted, Summer was full of everything she’d seen and heard. It was nearly twenty minutes before she slowed down long enough to let anyone else talk.

  “I’m glad you had a good time,” Leah remarked, her eyes meeting Holly’s in a shared moment of amusement. “I have some exciting news of my own. I’m going to apply for a job in St. Marys.”

  Summer helped herself to a water bottle from the cooler Devon had thoughtfully provided. “Stratton won’t mind you leaving town while he’s overseas?”

  Leah just stopped herself from laughing. Stratton didn’t care where she went. “Of course not.”

  “It’s just a temporary position,” Holly added. “Leah’s not locked into anything. That’s not to say I wouldn’t love for her to stay here forever.”

  “I think it’s a great idea,” Violet said. “Now we’ve got even more reasons to visit St. Marys.”

  * * * * *

  After three months in Yemen, Stratton still couldn’t bring himself to try kebda, a traditional breakfast dish made with sheep liver. He did, however, enjoy eating the flatbread his host’s wife baked every morning.

  Being eight thousand miles from home had become more than an escape from the chaos going on in his life. When one is submerged in a place and culture where hardship and adversity are so commonplace, it’s impossible not to be affected. Stratton met families on a daily basis whose way of life had been callously wiped out and yet they hadn’t lost hope. In spite of a complete dismantling of their lives, they found a way to keep going. Such resiliency and inner strength in the face of a nearly constant dose of uncertainty and peril amazed him.

  It also forced him to take an honest assessment of his situation. In the process, he realized how much of a disservice he was doing those he’d lost by turning his anger and bitterness inward. Instead of accepting that bad things happen, he’d wasted time and energy playing ‘if only’ games, trying to recreate situations that had already played out. Hindsight was always perfect, but it wasn’t reality. No one is immune to misfortune. It’s part of the human condition which was why it was both necessary and important to grab hold of the present instead of always looking back or worrying about tomorrow. Living in the moment wasn’t just a cute bumper sticker slogan. It was a mindset for staying focused on what mattered as well as minimizing regrets and lost opportunities.

  One of Stratton’s biggest regrets and lost opportunities was Leah. Being afraid of caring about someone because he didn’t want to face the possibility of losing them was the definition of cutting off his nose to spite his face. He purposely ignored what was happening between them, refusing to acknowledge that she was slowly peeling away the layers of disappointment, self-doubt, and despair he’d allowed to form around his heart.

  It was a piece of bitter irony that he should reach this conclusion after his marriage ended. Viewed in this new light, most of the decisions he’d made in the last few months could be put in the realm of a person bent on destroying himself. Why had he been in such a rush to run away from the person who’d been by his side during one of the darkest times in his life? The woman who’d sacrificed and endured so much to make his son’s last months happy?

  The actions he carried out under the guise of speeding Leah’s return to a normal life had likely destroyed every bridge between them. Worse than that was the knowledge that he could do nothing about rebuilding them for at least six months. Short of contracting some kind of infectious disease, Stratton wasn’t going anywhere. During that time, she could meet someone else. And even if she was free when he returned to the States, she didn’t have any incentive to pursue a real relationship with him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The ending of the school year marked Leah’s seventh month in St. Marys. Her decision to leave Myrtle Beach had been an exclamation point on her resolve to move past Stratton. Being in a new place with new people helped her slowly shed the shroud of gloom that had hung like an albatross around her neck. Her family assumed it was the loss of Denver that drove her and Stratton apart, and Leah didn’t correct them. At this point, it didn’t matter what the reason was. He no longer had a place in her life.

  Returning to a medical setting made more sense career-wise, but Leah found working with teenagers to be just as satisfying. She also liked the feeling of being her own boss. There were always afterschool activities to attend which not only allowed her the opportunity to get to know the students on a more personal level, but also kept her busy. So when she was offered a permanent position as the school nurse at Jordan’s school, she didn’t hesitate to accept it.

  Holly and Devon were thrilled that she was staying in town. The man she’d been dating since April was even more so. Leah met Neil in February at one of Jordan’s baseball games. Since his son Isaac was also on the team, they quickly struck up an acquaintance. He made no effort to disguise his interest in her, and it wasn’t long before he was sitting with her at home games and offering her rides to the away games.

  The first time he asked her to have dinner with him, she refused, not because she didn’t like him, but because she wasn’t interested in dating. Being divorced himself, Neil underst
ood her reluctance to jump back into the social scene. Six weeks later when he asked her a second time, she agreed. Their relationship had progressed to the point where they were spending most of their free time together.

  At the moment, she was on her way back from dropping off Devon, Holly, Rebecca and Jordan at the airport for their early flight to Orlando. Neil was supposed to have driven with her, but he got called into work, something that happened frequently in his job as a firefighter. This necessitated postponing their plans to check out the Riverside Arts Market in Jacksonville.

  Bella started barking the second Leah’s key slid into the lock of Holly’s front door. By the time Leah reached the laundry room, the sound was deafening. She opened the door and crouched down to greet the golden retriever impatiently waiting inside.

  “You’re ready for a run, aren’t you, girl?”

  Bella followed her outside and then took off like a streak of lightning. Once she was satisfied that everything was right in her domain, she returned to the porch with a Frisbee in her mouth.

  Leah laughed as she took it. “I never could throw these things. They either go straight into the ground or land on the roof. Let’s hope my skill is better today.”

  Her aim hadn’t improved, but Bella didn’t seem to mind. Leah’s arm got tired long before the dog’s legs did. Back inside the house, she tidied the kitchen which still bore the signs of their rush to get out the door earlier. She’d enjoyed living with Holly and Devon, but now that she’d decided to stay in St. Mary’s permanently, it was time to find a place of her own.

  She got a text from Neil while she was making lunch.

  “Did you get home okay?”

  “Sure did. How’s your day going?”

  “Busy as usual. Two car accidents and a fire at an abandoned building near the historic district. We think some teenagers set it.”

  “I hope it wasn’t the foundry or the mill.”

  “I believe it was the old Blue Bird bus factory.”