“I doubt it. His girlfriend showed up. I got the ‘three’s a crowd’ look.”
“She made it that obvious?”
“You could say that. I nearly apologized for being here. How’s your leg doing?”
“It’s almost healed.”
“Good. It didn’t occur to me until later that I never asked you how it happened.”
“I was climbing out of the bed of a truck belonging to one of the volunteers. My foot slipped and my leg caught the edge of the license plate on my way to the ground.”
“That must have been painful. I’m sorry it happened.”
She was, too. She had a permanent reminder of a day she’d like to forget. “I can tell anyone who asks that I was stitched up by the best orthopedic surgeon in the southeast.”
“That’s a stretch.”
“If so, it’s not by much.” She pointed to the cup in his hand. “Aren’t you going to eat your peanuts?”
An odd smile passed over his face. “I guess I should.”
“If you didn’t want the peanuts, why did you order them?”
He pinned her with a glance she couldn’t avoid.
“I needed a reason to come back again.”
This blunt response momentarily silenced her, and then the old resentment she’d thought was buried rose to the surface. Did he think he could go silent for a year and then just casually waltz back into her life? “Why would you want to see me?” She tried not to let bitterness slip into her voice, but wasn’t sure of her success.
“There are things I need to say to you. Things I should have said before.”
She resisted the urge to laugh. Didn’t he realize it was too late for that? “This isn’t the time or place for that kind of conversation.”
“Would you be willing to talk to me somewhere else?”
That was the last thing she wanted to do. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. When you go digging up the past, you find things you don’t want. At the end of the day, we can’t go back and do anything different.”
He nodded. “I guess that’s a ‘no’ then. I’ll let you get back to work.”
Instead of being relieved by his abrupt departure, Leah felt guilty. How could that be? He was the one who’d left the country, taking her heart with him. He was the one who’d offered her money in return for a gift of love. Her eyes continued to follow the tall figure threading his way through the crowd. He was heading in the direction of the parking lot. Was she the reason he was leaving the game? Should she feel guilty about that, too?
Her mind drifted back to those days and weeks after Denver’s death. It wasn’t hard to remember how hurt, lonely and betrayed she felt when Stratton cut himself off from her. In refusing to listen to him now, wasn’t she doing the same thing?
With a burst of movement and no clear idea of what she was doing, she flew out the door of the concession stand and took off after him. The fact that she didn’t consider how this might look to Neil didn’t occur to her until much later. When she got close enough, she called out to him. “Stratton! Wait!”
He turned around, his expression confused. “Leah? What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry…” She stopped to catch her breath. “About that back there. If you want to talk, I’m willing to listen.”
“You don’t have to do this. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.”
“Clearing the air isn’t always comfortable, but sometimes it’s necessary. Are you free on Sunday afternoon?”
He nodded. “Just tell me a time.”
“Be at my place around three.”
“I’ll be there. Thanks, Leah. This means a lot to me.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You haven’t heard what I have to say.”
“You can’t say anything I don’t deserve.”
She didn’t know what to make of that. “I need to get back.”
“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
That was a task beyond her powers. “You, too.”
* * * * *
Stratton was still in a state of disbelief when he reached his truck. In spite of his clumsy handling of the situation, Leah agreed to meet with him. But that hadn’t been her first reaction. What made her change her mind? It wasn’t anything he’d done, that’s for sure. This was the Leah he’d come to know and love. Even after the way he treated her, she couldn’t bring herself to repay him in his own coin.
He was almost home when he got a call from Reggie asking if he wanted to meet for a late dinner. Anything was better than spending the evening alone with his thoughts. Turning around at the next light, he headed back into town. When he entered Wild Wings Café, the place was packed, not surprising given it was a Friday night. Fortunately, Reggie had an ace in the hole. His uncle owned the restaurant. It wasn’t long before they were being shown to a table.
“I thought you and Victoria were going to Amelia Island this weekend.”
Reggie grimaced as he flipped open the menu. “That was before I made the mistake of questioning the purchase of a three-hundred-dollar pair of shoes.”
Stratton laughed. “That’s a lot for shoes. Were the heels studded with diamonds?”
“It was hard to tell. I was too busy getting out of the way.”
“Oh, so she threw the shoes at you.”
“Along with several other things. Instead of a romantic weekend on the beach, I’ll be sleeping in the guestroom.”
“The joys of married life.”
After they gave their order to the waitress, Reggie leaned back in the seat. “You’re very happy tonight. Does that mean there’s been another Leah sighting?”
“It does mean that. You’ll be glad to hear that this time it didn’t require a trip to the ER.”
“Where did this magic moment take place?”
“At a concession stand. Sal Salvatore’s been after me to come to a football game. His sons play at St. Marys High School. Turns out Leah is the school nurse there.”
“This sounds like something from a movie.”
“I wish this movie came with a script.”
Reggie didn’t answer immediately. The waiter had arrived with their food. Once they were alone again, he said, “It must be tough not knowing if you’ll ever be with her again.”
“I try not to think about it. I’m just thrilled she’s talking to me.”
“What you and Leah went through was life-changing. Even happily married couples experience problems when faced with something like that. How you handled things was a mistake, but it wasn’t so terrible that it can’t be forgiven. I know you’ll do everything you can to make it right.”
“I’ll certainly try, but that’s up to Leah. She has to be willing to let me do it. Truly forgiving someone is a selfless act. It doesn’t come naturally.”
“Or easily,” Reggie said. “Women seem to have a harder time letting things go. Victoria can remember every bad thing I’ve ever said or done.”
Stratton laughed. “Eva actually made a list. It came in handy during our divorce.”
“I was surprised you married her.”
“So were a lot of people. I should have listened to them.”
“No one listens when they’re in love.”
“You can say that again.”
By the time Stratton got home, some of the anticipation building inside him had passed through a reality filter. This meeting with Leah on Sunday was just a first step on his journey to a destination with no roadmap and enough obstacles to make sure he never took anything for granted. His goal of winning Leah’s heart wasn’t going to be easy. He wasn’t a mystery to her. She already knew his faults. She’d seen him at his best and at his worst. He couldn’t hide his imperfections or mask his insecurities. And perhaps most challenging of all, he couldn’t erase her memories.
* * * * *
Leah found a short line of people waiting for her when she returned to the concession stand. Only after they’d been taken care of did she have the luxury of dwelling on
the pros and cons of meeting with Stratton. It might be the right thing to do, but there was no doubt she was opening a door she’d hoped was closed forever. On top of that, she had the unsavory task of bringing Neil up to date on everything. Her weekend was off to a great start.
When the clock showed five minutes remaining in the game, she began preparations to shut down. Neil showed up not long after. Together they made short work of storing away food items that could be kept until the next game. By the time they were walking to the parking lot, it was almost ten.
“Aren’t we waiting for Isaac?” Leah asked when he started the car.
Neil smiled. “And you accuse me of forgetting things. He’s not staying with me this weekend. Tomorrow is his stepfather’s 40th birthday party.
How had she forgotten that? “I must be more tired than I realized.” Or stressed out from her second encounter with Stratton.
“You’ve been on your feet all day, and I bet you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”
That was true. She’d planned to eat something in the concession stand, but once Stratton showed up, her appetite went right out the window. “I had half of a Milky Way.”
“That doesn’t count. I’ll fix you something when we get to your place.”
Thirty minutes later, they were sitting side by side at the bar in her kitchen eating fried egg sandwiches and hash browns.
“Are the eggs cooked okay?” Neil asked, reaching for the ketchup he put on almost everything he ate.
“They’re perfect. The yolks are firm, but not runny. Thanks for doing this. This is so much better than the peanut butter crackers I would have had if I was alone.”
“It’s a good thing I’m around to make sure you take care of yourself.” He sent her a teasing smile. “No Isaac means I don’t have to rush back home tonight.”
He might change his mind after he found out she lied to him about Stratton. “Aristotle will love that. It means he can watch Jimmy Kimmel.”
“I was hoping you’d like it to.”
“That goes without saying.”
“Does it?” he asked, sending her a curious glance.
“You know it does.”
“Just checking. You haven’t seemed like yourself lately.”
Leah sighed inwardly. She’d never been any good at hiding things. It was a miracle Stratton had never figured out how she felt about him when they were together. “Something happened a few weeks ago, and then again tonight at the game. I was going to tell you about it later.”
Neil put down the fork in his hand, his eyes narrowing to slits and his mouth forming a hard line. “I’d rather hear about it now. Does it have something to do with a man?”
“Yes, but it’s not what you’re thinking. I ran into Stratton.”
This information had no noticeable effect on Neil’s fierce expression. “What’s he doing in town?”
“He’s working at St. Marys Orthopedics. One of his patients is Sal Salvatore.”
“How long has he been here?”
“I don’t know. I ran into him at the fundraiser for the animal shelter. He was the doctor who stitched up my leg. It was wrong of me not to tell you, but I just wanted to forget it happened.” She slid her hand down to clasp his fingers. “I’m sorry, Neil. I broke the first rule of a relationship.”
He drew her hand to his lips. “You apologize very nicely.”
“But will you ever completely trust me again?”
“Of course I will. I know you, Leah. But you’ve got to trust me, too. I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
She smiled ruefully. “I was hoping this particular problem would simply disappear, but obviously that’s not going to happen.”
“Problems don’t disappear. You have to find a way to deal with them. Stratton living here isn’t the end of the world. Instead of having one ex in St. Marys, we’ve got two. The awkwardness will wear off after a while.”
Leah wasn’t sure about that last one. “There’s a little more to this than that. Tonight Stratton asked if we could get together and talk. It sounds like he’s got some things he wants to get off his chest.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I said no at first, but then I realized that refusing to listen to him would be doing to him what he did to me.”
“So you agreed to see him?”
“Yes. He’s coming here tomorrow.”
Neil’s face resembled a thundercloud. “Wouldn’t it have been better to meet him at a restaurant?”
“He’s not a stranger. He’s my ex-husband.”
“Yeah, I know. He’s the jerk who played on your sympathy and then couldn’t get away from you fast enough.”
“It wasn’t like that. I married him because I wanted to.”
“You married him because you loved him.”
“I’m not in love with him now.”
He smiled somewhat wistfully. “Are you sure about that?”
“Why are you asking me this?”
“Because your reaction to Stratton’s appearance seems to be driven more by fear than anger.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not afraid of him.”
He leaned forward and touched her cheek. “I meant you’re afraid of yourself and what might happen if you’re around him again. I don’t think you’re over Stratton. That’s why you’re so hesitant to move forward with me.”
So her unresolved feelings for Stratton were to blame for her inability to commit to Neil. If that was true, she really was messed up. “For both our sakes, I hope you’re wrong about that.”
“Did you tell him about us?”
“There wasn’t time. All he knows is that I work at the school.”
“And where you live. Not a bad start for a guy who’s been missing in action for almost a year. What if he wants to get back together?”
Leah laughed shortly. “That’s the one thing you don’t have to worry about.”
“So you admit I have something to worry about.”
“I admit no such thing.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “Can we talk about something else now?”
“Talk?” he asked, pulling her close again. “I was hoping for something more interesting.”
They ended up watching an old Godzilla movie from the sixties. She woke up to find the television off and Neil smiling down at her.
“How far into the movie did I make it this time?”
He laughed. “Twenty minutes. You’re definitely not a night owl.”
Leah sat up, pushing aside the blanket he’d put over her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for something so enjoyable.”
“You like watching me sleep?”
“Sure do. It’s the most relaxing thing on earth.” He came to his feet. “Unfortunately, this is my cue to leave. If I stay much longer, I’ll have to fix breakfast.”
Leah followed him to the door and then reached for his hand. “Thanks for being so understanding about Stratton.”
He laced his fingers through hers. “I’m not sure I’d call it understanding. I just know that avoiding something isn’t the answer. Don’t forget we’re going to a movie tomorrow night.”
“I only forgot about Isaac. The rest of my memory of this weekend’s events is intact.”
“You only need to remember one part,” he said, drawing her into his arms.
After he left, Leah didn’t immediately go to bed. She sat down on the couch, her eyes fixed on the blank television screen. Neil had poked holes in what she’d thought was an airtight recovery from heartbreak. In doing so, he was helping push open the door to the past. Leah didn’t want to believe that Stratton still had any kind of hold on her. If even part of what Neil said was true, she’d been living in a fool’s paradise.
Chapter Twenty
As Stratton drove the short distance from his condo to Leah’s apartment, he tried to still the butterflies in his stomach. Hopefully, he could get through this without making a fool of himself. H
e pulled into the space beside her car and shut off the engine, half-formed sentences making their way round and round in his head. This attempt to get his thoughts in order was a waste of time. Everything came to a standstill when she opened the door in answer to his knock.
“Hey, Stratton.”
He coughed to clear the frog from his throat. “Hey, Leah.”
She waved him inside. He followed her down a narrow hallway with a feeling of déjà vu that was both reassuring and alarming. A faint smile touched his lips at the sight of the bird cage sitting by the open window.
“How goes it, Aristotle?”
The bird flapped his wings, bobbing his head up and down. “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!”
For a moment, neither of them spoke, and then Leah said, “I’m sorry Stratton. He hasn’t said that in a long time.”
“It’s okay. It means he remembers me.”
“He’s like an elephant. He never forgets.”
Stratton took a seat on the couch opposite her. His decision to skip lunch probably wasn’t a good one. An empty stomach and a healthy dose of nerves wasn’t a winning combination. His glance lifted from the floor and met the blueness of Leah’s eyes. The uneasiness and emotional distance he saw there was his doing.
“This was easier when I was saying it to myself in front of a mirror.”
Her lips formed a reluctant smile. “You’ve given lectures and presentations in front of hundreds of people. Talking to me should be easy.”
He hadn’t cared what they thought. It was different with her. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about how I handled things between us, and how I handled adversity in general. Instead of moving past the bad things that happened to me and those I loved, I internalized my pain and grief and put all my energies into trying to find an explanation. Failing that, I searched for a scapegoat I could blame and pin my anger on.
“Eventually I settled on myself. I became convinced that if I’d done things differently and made better decisions, I might have prevented some of those tragedies. This line of thinking made me reluctant to trust my feelings or even allow myself to feel anything at all. I felt as if everything I loved and cared about was slowly being taken from me. I was desperate to keep it from happening again.
The Gift of Love (Finding Love Book 9) Page 15
