Saving Ben

by Ashley H. Farley

  “Wait a sec.” Archer groaned, and I could tell she was struggling to sit up in bed. “Are you seriously considering that?”

  “Honestly, I didn’t realize it until just now, but I guess I am.”

  “Then do it! And don’t worry about the sorority thing. My sister’s roommate is a Tri Beta at UNC.”

  “I love Becca! Okay . . . so that makes me feel a whole lot better.”

  “You need to stop worrying about pledging Tri Beta and start figuring out how you’re going to get back at that Honey bitch.”

  “That, my friend, has already been taken care of.”

  “Shut up! What’d you do?”

  “After I left Ben’s room, I found her pretty little pink convertible Volkswagen in the parking garage and let all the air out of her tires.”

  We laughed so hard that by the time we hung up five minutes later, I felt calm enough to sleep.

  Emma didn’t come back to our room that night, or the next, or even the night after that. But when I returned from dinner Monday evening, her suitcase was gone from her closet along with most of her clothes. The only things missing of mine were my Virginia sweatshirt and a worn flannel tunic I liked to wear to class with leggings and Uggs. She’d never borrowed either before. She didn’t take them because she wanted them; she took them because they were my favorites. I removed my diamond stud earrings from my jewelry case, slipped them into a small leather satchel, and hid them in my tennis racquet case along with my sunscreen and a travel package of tissues.

  ***

  Mom and Dad hounded me with phone calls during the next two weeks, but I ignored them, even Blessy when she left a message scolding me for being so disrespectful to my parents. Then, on Wednesday morning during the last week of January, I returned to my room from my nine o’clock English class to find my parents waiting for me. The visit was so unexpected my immediate thought was that something had happened to Abigail.

  “We didn’t mean to alarm you,” my father reassured me. “From what we hear, Abigail is doing well in her treatment in Baltimore.”

  “That poor, sweet child should not have to suffer so much.” My mother dabbed at her dry eyes with my father’s linen handkerchief. “But Katherine, by refusing to return any of our calls, you left us no choice but to come up here and see what was going on for ourselves.”

  My father nodded his agreement. “I think your mother deserves an explanation. Don’t you?” he asked me.

  I dumped my backpack on my bed and turned around to face them. “As much as I deserve an explanation about my application to UNC.” He looked surprised, and I added, “That’s right, Dad. I know all about how you chose not to use your connections to help me get in to the college of my dreams.”

  My father dropped to the bed, as if suddenly burdened by a ton of bricks. “Who told you?” he asked. Before I could respond, he said, “Of course, Ben. Let me ex—”

  “No, let me,” my mother interrupted him. “I’m the one responsible for that, not your father. I wanted you to experience what I experienced during the happiest time in my life. Was it so wrong of me to want my only daughter to follow in my footsteps?” She brought her hand to my face and ran her fingers along my cheek. “I wanted us to share the wonderful sisterhood of Chi Delta.”

  My mother was so sincere and humble, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “I’m pretty sure Chi Delta has a chapter at UNC,” I said, brushing her hand away from my face.

  Her face scrunched up in thought, as though she’d never considered it before. “That would not have been the same and you know it. Honey said—”

  “Wait a minute.” I took a step back, away from my mother. “You talked to Honey? What did you do, call her?”

  “As a matter of fact, she called me. Honey is very disappointed that things worked out the way they did.” Mom stepped toward me, regaining the lost territory between us, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “It’s a big decision, and I’m sure you were feeling overwhelmed when you made it. Honey is in a position to change this if—”

  “That’s not going to happen, Mom.” I ducked out from beneath her arm. “This wonderful sisterhood you keep talking about isn’t so wonderful anymore, the way it was when you were president.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I didn’t have the energy to explain something to my mother she’d never understand. In her mind, people aspired to be like Honey, shallow and self-important. I was curious, though, to know how much Honey had told her about Emma’s situation.

  “What did she tell you about Emma?” I asked, scrutinizing my mother’s face for her reaction.

  Her eyes narrowed and she smiled a tight smile. “The numbers aren’t in Emma’s favor this year. According to Honey, they have too many legacies that they’re obligated to accept.”

  I wasn’t surprised Honey had spared my mother’s feelings. After all, Mom is a respected alumna who gives a hefty sum to their annual giving campaign every year. What surprised me, though, was that my mother believed Honey’s lies.

  “Oh really? So Honey encouraged her to try again next semester?” I asked.

  “Katherine, you have to understand that these girls are threatened by Emma, by her beauty. It makes some women feel bad about themselves to have a person like Emma around, a person who has it all.”

  I stared, openmouthed, at my mother. It was as clear as the smug expression on her face that she actually believed this. I had no intention of adding to her self-righteousness by being the one to tell her that her protégé was dating her son.

  “She has it all except enough decency to be honest with those who support her,” I said under my breath.

  “I beg your pardon?” she asked.

  “Never mind, Mother. I have another class in thirty minutes.” I removed my English anthology book from my backpack and replaced it with my biology book from my desk. I actually had the rest of the afternoon free, but my parents didn’t know that. “If only you’d called first, I could’ve warned you not to come. I have back-to-back classes all day.”

  My father stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of his khakis. “Can we at least take you to lunch? We can walk around campus and wait for you until your class is over.”

  “I don’t have time for lunch. Or anything left to say.” Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I started toward the door but turned back around. “Actually, there is something you need to know. From now on I’m making my own decisions. For your information, I’m very happy with my choice to pledge Tri Beta, and I have no intention of changing sororities. As far as schools go, it’s too late to do anything about it now, but next fall I may apply for a transfer to UNC for my junior year. This time I won’t be asking for your help.”

  My parents stopped calling after that, although I did receive a handwritten letter from my father apologizing for his part in sabotaging my application to Chapel Hill. He explained how he was only trying to make my mother happy. But that much I already knew.

  I didn’t see Ben again until mid-February when Phoebe and I found ourselves seated ten rows back from him at a Hoos basketball game. Spotty and Reed sat to Ben’s right while Emma occupied the seat to his left. She was feeding him popcorn and rubbing his arm and laying her head on his shoulder. She was the picture of an attentive girlfriend until a dark-hair hottie sat down in the empty seat next to her. For the rest of the first half, she was so busy flirting with the Channing Tatum look-alike, she ignored my brother completely. Ben stormed off at the beginning of halftime. And when he didn’t return by the middle of the third quarter, Emma left as well, presumably to go look for him.

  I ran into Spotty and Reed after the game, while I was waiting for Phoebe outside the ladies’ restroom. “What the heck is up with Ben and Emma?” I asked them. “Their little scene was more entertaining than the game.”

  Spotty and I had been in constant communication with one another since my argument with Ben. Even though we agreed there wasn’t much we could do to help him, staying in touch was
at least something.

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Kitty,” Spotty said. “It’s always like that between them.”

  “Yep. Better than the Jerry Springer Show,” Reed added.

  “Great.” I rolled my eyes. “Must be a boatload of fun to be around. How do y’all stand it?”

  “It’s the worst kind of pain in the ass you can imagine,” Reed said, disgusted. “She’s the thing that won’t leave. Every time Prima Donna Emma wants to take a shower, your brother has to clear everyone out of the bathroom. You can imagine how well that goes over in a house full of men.”

  “Doesn’t your fraternity have rules about girlfriends living in the house?” I asked.

  Spotty nodded. “But there are special considerations in this situation,” he mumbled.

  “What considerations?” I asked, and when he hesitated, I added, “Come clean, Spotty. This is important.”

  “This isn’t easy to say, which is why I haven’t told you until now.” Spotty leaned in to me so he wouldn’t be overheard. “Ben is unstable, Kitty. Several key people have talked to him about the situation, but he won’t listen. He’s irrational when it comes to Emma. We are all walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting him.”

  I blinked back tears. “Is he really that bad off?”

  Spotty’s green eyes were cloudy with worry. “The worst I’ve ever seen him. He’s in it deep, drugs and all.”

  Phoebe appeared suddenly and the four of us started toward the exit. I grabbed Spotty by the elbow, holding him back a couple of steps.

  “I went to see one of the school’s psychiatrists,” I said, confiding in him what I hadn’t told anyone else.

  “Seriously?” he asked. “I never knew anyone who actually did that.”

  “Shows you how desperate I am to help my brother.”

  “You can’t, though, can you? That’s what the shrink told you, isn’t it? You can’t help Ben until he’s ready to help himself.”

  I nodded. “And according to Elise Withers that won’t happen until he hits rock bottom.”

  Spotty grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. “And you better hang on tight, because I’m afraid it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

  Ten days later I encountered Ben and Emma in a compromising situation, maybe not rock bottom but definitely a new all-time low.

  It was the end of an unseasonably warm week, and with spring break on everyone’s mind, the Corner was packed. Even more so in the Island Cafe, thanks to their tropical ambience and two-for-one pitchers of draft beer. I was gathered in a booth with a group of my Tri Beta pledge sisters. We were working on our third round, enjoying a rare break from our duties at the sorority house.

  “I’m going to the bathroom. Will you order a cheeseburger for me when the waitress comes back?” I asked Janie, my pledge sister sitting next to me.

  I had to fight my way through the frenzied crowd to get to the restroom at the back of the tiny restaurant. There were only two stalls, one of them already occupied. As I squatted to do my business, I heard muffled giggles and the whole metal stall shook as if someone had fallen. Curious, I leaned down and looked under the partition where I saw four feet instead of two. A pair of wedged heels with pink-painted nails peeking through the toe hole, opposite two big hairy feet in Rainbow flip-flops.

  I flushed the toilet, twice for effect, and got the hell out of there as soon as I could wash my hands. But instead of going back to the table, I hovered near the door and waited, out of curiosity, for the couple to exit the restroom. Several minutes later, when they finally emerged, Ben and Emma were all smiles as they adjusted their clothing. I caught my brother’s eye and glanced down at his shoes, raising an eyebrow in question. He smiled at me at first, as though happy to see me, and then it hit him. He looked down at my feet and back up at me. For a split second I saw sorrow and regret in his face, and then he winked at me, mocking me.

  Ben was raised to be a gentleman. He understood he was to wait for women to be seated before he sat down at a table, and he knew to open car doors and watch his profanity in mixed company. The Ben I knew was not the kind of person to stoop so low as to have sex in the stall of a public restroom, a women’s public restroom no less. Emma made him do things he’d never considered before. She had complete control over him, like a psychiatrist leading her patient around in a hypnotic state, and it terrified me to think of what the doctor might have in mind for her next session with him.

  Twelve

  After spending seven amazing days with Archer’s family in the Turks and Caicos, I returned to school from spring break reenergized and ready to finish the semester in a big way. My enthusiasm lasted exactly one day.

  On Tuesday afternoon, the second day back in classes, Reed and Spotty tracked me down in the amphitheatre where I was studying, stretched out under the warm mid-March sun.

  Their expressions were somber as they sat down on either side of me.

  “Uh-oh,” I said, closing my anatomy book. “I don’t like the looks on your faces. What gives?”

  “We’ve just returned from the spring break from hell with your brother and his girl-thing,” Reed said.

  I leaned back against the stone step. “Start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

  My brother had been planning this trip to Key West with Spotty and Reed and a group of their fraternity brothers since Christmas, but Emma was never part of the package. She showed up with Ben, with her bags packed, as the convoy was pulling out of the parking lot. “There’s an empty seat in the car, why not?” Ben argued. He promised they’d get their own room, but he never thought to call ahead and check availability. One night of sleeping in the same room with the lovebirds was enough for Spotty and Reed. After that, they slept on the floor of whosever room they happened to be partying with when it was time to go to bed.

  “Ben promised to pay us back,” Reed said, “but I doubt we’ll ever see the money.”

  “He’s broke, Kitty,” Spotty added. “His credit card was declined when he tried to buy gas on the way home.”

  I shook my head. “That’s hard to believe. Dad gave us extra allowance for spring break. What did he blow it on?”

  “Any and every thing Emma wanted,” Reed said. “A bikini with very little fabric comes to mind. And some jewelry. I mean, seriously? How many bracelets can a person wear at once?”

  “Were they doing drugs?”

  Spotty and Reed exchanged a quick look. “Probably, although they never did anything in front of us,” Spotty said. “Their relationship is not healthy. What worries us the most is the constant fighting.”

  Reed shook his head in disgust. “They got kicked out of a restaurant one night for disturbing the other customers, and hotel security had to quiet them down several times.”

  “Not to mention Ben almost got arrested for starting a barroom brawl,” Spotty added.

  “Really?” I tucked my chin to my chest and looked at them from under my eyebrows. “What was the fight about?”

  “He was jealous over the way some guy was looking at Emma,” Reed explained.

  Spotty shifted in his seat so he could see my face. “Reed and I have been thinking about calling your parents, Kitty, but we wanted to talk to you first.”

  “Ooh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. For whatever reason, my mother’s crazy about Emma. I’m not sure she’d believe anything you tell her.”

  “What about your dad?” Reed asked.

  “My father is all about not upsetting my mother. But I’m pretty sure the two of you already know that,” I said, looking pointedly at each of them in turn. “Anyway, it’s not like Ben’s gonna break up with Emma just because my parents ask him to.”

  “Do you have a better idea?” Reed asked. “We have to do something before he falls off the cliff of no return.”

  I stood and began pacing back and forth along the edge of the knee wall in front of Spotty and Reed. “We need to separate them, because there’s no way we’ll get throu
gh to Ben while Emma is living in his room.” I stopped pacing and faced Reed and Spotty. “And I have an idea that just might work.”

  I was optimistic when Ben responded immediately to my text and accepted my invitation to meet the following morning after our first class. When I saw him standing in line to order at Bodo’s Bagels, I hardly recognized him. He’d lost weight, his hair hung limp and greasy in his face, and his clothes were wrinkled and dirty. If I’d spotted him on a street corner, I might’ve mistaken him for a bum. Or a drug addict.

  I handed him a ten-dollar bill. “There’s only one table left outside. I’ll grab it, if you’ll order a sesame bagel with strawberry cream cheese on the side for me.”

  When he joined me at the table ten minutes later, the first words out of Ben’s mouth were: “Do you think you might be able to loan me some money? Since Archer’s parents always pay for everything, you gotta have some of your spring break money left.”

  “Really?” I stared at my brother who’d become a stranger to me. “We haven’t spoken to one another since January and all you can do is ask to borrow money from me? Whatever happened to the brother who was so interested in helping me adjust to college life?”

  He shrugged and took a bite of his bagel. “Turns out your roommate needed the help more,” he said when he finished chewing. “After all, you got the sorority bid and she didn’t. Are you going to lend me the money or not?”

  “Don’t give me this bullshit, Ben. Emma would’ve gotten a bid somewhere if she’d turned in her card. Besides, you know as well as I do her parents would not have been able to pay the fees. Or I should say her mother, since her father’s not earning any money in jail.” He glared at me, and for spite I added, “Unless, of course, you were planning to pay for those like you pay for everything else.”

  “Shh,” Ben said, glancing around at the surrounding tables. “Keep your voice down.”

  “You are asking me to keep my voice down? After you nearly got kicked out of your hotel in Key West for arguing with your girlfriend.” Right away I realized I’d gone too far. I’d jeopardized the confidential conversation I’d had with Spotty and Reed.