In Your Arms

by Goings, Rebecca

“I’ll be looking forward to it.” Chuck grimaced sarcastically.

  Once the doctor was gone, Melissa busied herself by grabbing the broom and sweeping the floor. When Shirley finally descended the stairs looking well-rested and refreshed, Melissa handed her the broom without a word. Unable to stay in the shop for another minute longer, she fled out the back door.

  Twelve

  “Did something happen between you and my daughter after the dance last night, McCaide?”

  Marcus dropped the two cans of peaches he held as he attempted to stock the shelves. He’d been staring at the door where Melissa had disappeared only moments before, and Chuck’s unexpected question startled him. Clearing his throat, he bent over to pick up the dropped goods.

  “We, uh… talked.”

  “Did you fight?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Chuck was silent for a moment as he crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s hurting--hurting bad. I could see it in her eyes.”

  Marcus could too. Her father wasn’t the only one who could read her emotions. Melissa’s eyes gave her away every time. Marcus knew damn well why she had pain on her face this afternoon, and it didn’t have anything to do with their rigorous activities the night before. She’d wanted him to open up to her, to give her a piece of his heart, and he’d denied her. Yet she’d still welcomed him with open arms early that morning to make love to him before he’d escorted her back to the shop. Why had she done that?

  Most women he knew would have screamed and cried, throwing a tantrum and hitting his chest if he didn’t tell them what they wanted. But Melissa had simply accepted it, although not without a price. Now she couldn’t face him. She couldn’t look at him without feeling the pain of his denial. Damn it, why did it have to shoot through his own heart like a firebrand?

  Scowling, he turned back to her father. “We decided to stay away from each other.”

  “We decided? Or did you decide?”

  Taking a deep breath, Marcus closed his eyes and balled his fists. Why was the man making this so difficult?

  “Look, Mr. Bloom--”

  “Call me Chuck, son.”

  “All right. Chuck, I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m not powerfully attracted to Lissa, and there have been times when my attraction has overridden my better judgment. But that little girl is looking for a husband and a family, and I can’t give her either.”

  “Sure you can, Marcus. I watch you with her every day, and what I see is a man hanging on by a thread. You’re so terrified of that thread breaking and falling in love with her that you’re clutching on to it with all of your might. But Lissa is a good girl. Whatever you’ve done or think you’ve done in your life, she’s a forgiving woman. She won’t shut you out.”

  “I’m done here, sir,” Marcus whispered as he turned away, stopped only by Chuck’s hand on his shoulder.

  “Think about what I’ve said, boy. You can stop running from whatever’s eating you and find your peace with her.”

  “I don’t think so, Chuck. I don’t think I’ll ever find peace.”

  ~ * ~

  The moon shone in the sky a few hours after sunset. Melissa trudged wearily to the creek with soap in hand, looking forward to a refreshing bath in the cool waters. Her walk around the Gulch earlier had helped to clear her head, but it hadn’t erased her thoughts of Marcus completely. Perhaps bathing would.

  The water babbled almost joyously as it rushed by. The night air was still warm from the heat of the day, and Melissa couldn’t wait to feel the cold water against her skin. After dropping her drying cloths on the ground nearby, she unbuttoned her blouse and skirt then folded them neatly near the water’s edge.

  Once her underthings had been shed, she stepped out into the creek, gasping with each step. It took her breath away but felt so good. When she was standing near the middle of the creek, the water only went up to just below her breasts. Bending her knees, she dunked her head to wet her hair. Sputtering for air as she emerged, she ran the sliver of soap over her wet and shivering body.

  “Woman, you’re a damned fool.”

  “Marcus!” she shrieked, scanning the shoreline. His deep voice was soft, but it still resonated through the night as if he’d shouted at her. She could see him hunkered down in the moonlight next to the creek bed.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked through chattering teeth.

  “I should be asking you the same question, but since it’s obvious what you’re doing, I won’t bother.”

  “How… how long have you been there?”

  “Long enough. Saw you walking this way and thought I’d follow you.”

  “Why?” Trembling, her blood went as cold as the water.

  “You don’t seem to care for your own safety. I figured someone ought to.”

  Closing her eyes, she turned her back on him. “Go away.”

  She heard him chuckle behind her, and her body tightened with desire. Biting her lip and keeping her eyes closed, she tried not to think of his exquisite mouth sucking off the water droplets from her shoulders.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “But you, Lissa, are going to come out of that creek.”

  “I’m bathing. I’m not finished.”

  “Oh yes you are. That water is freezing, and unless you want me to come in and get you, you’ll come out right now.”

  She stood her ground stubbornly. She didn’t know why, as the cold water was beginning to sting. She really should get out, but she was completely naked and didn’t want to stand before Marcus without a stitch on.

  “Lissa?”

  She didn’t bother with looking over her shoulder at him. She simply continued her bath with shaking hands.

  “You should have come out when you had the chance, sugar,” he growled.

  She could hear him shuffling behind her, and she chanced a glance just in time to see him ripping off his clothes. He meant to come in as naked as she was!

  Without knowing what else to do, Melissa began wading to the other side of the creek. She knew it was insane, as she was stark raving naked and wouldn’t be able to flee him, but the splash behind her told her she was already out of time.

  Strong hands grabbed her by the waist and turned her around, crushing her to his bare chest as she let out a startled shriek. She could feel his fingers knot themselves in her hair as he pulled her head back to look into his eyes. He stared hard at her with his glittering golden eyes, making her shudder in his strong embrace.

  “Marcus,” she whispered. “Please let me go.”

  “I told you never to fear me,” he said, correctly reading the fright on her face.

  “I don’t fear you.” She gasped, feeling his hardened length pressing against the soft flesh of her belly.

  “Then why are you afraid?” His other hand reached up to stroke her face, making her whimper and turn into his hand, asking for more of his touch.

  How could she possibly tell him she was terrified of her heart breaking? Of never being able to call this man her own?

  “I… I’m afraid of my feelings. For you.”

  Releasing her hair, he bent down slightly in the water, circling her hips with his arms. When he stood once again, her feet left the bottom of the creek.

  “What are you doing?” she cried out, clutching onto his shoulders for fear she’d fall backward into the water.

  “Making you feel something else. Put your legs around me.”

  Being this close to him with her nipples rubbing against his bare chest made her feel that familiar ache between her legs once again. Even though she was half submerged in an icy creek, she suddenly felt as if her skin were on fire. She did as he’d told her.

  He smiled when she complied, and one of his large hands rounded her bare backside to slip two fingers inside her from behind. Clutching onto his hair, she mewled at the unexpected sensation.

  Their faces were so close together that Melissa couldn’t tell where her breath ended and his began. She wanted so
badly to kiss him, but that would require breaking his eye contact as she bobbed in the water onto his fingers, gasping at each thrust.

  “Damn, Lissa. I think I’m obsessed with you.”

  She would have giggled at that if she’d had the breath. His fingers continued their gentle assault, pulling out and pushing in as she moved up and down on them.

  “Do you know how empty my arms felt after you left my bed this morning? Do you know how badly I wanted to make love to you in the shop this afternoon?”

  That was all it took for her to come apart in his arms. Groaning and shuddering, his mouth on hers muffled her cries with his plunging tongue.

  “Marcus,” she moaned against his lips.

  “What?” He moved his mouth and nibbled on the skin under her jaw.

  “Marcus, I… oh God, I can’t tell you.”

  “Honey, what is it?” His face lifted back up to hers, his eyes full of concern.

  Feeling the tears well up, she embraced him, kissing the side of his neck and making her way up his cheek to his ear. Holding on to him for all she was worth, she took a deep breath and a big chance.

  “I… I’m in love with you,” she murmured as her breath caught in her throat.

  He held her in silence for so long that she thought he would let her go and walk away.

  “I’m sorry, Marcus. I know that’s not what you want to hear. You told me not to fall for you, but… you’re just so wonderful and handsome and… perfect, that I--”

  His lips silenced her as he kissed her eagerly. Melissa rejoiced, knowing that he wouldn’t reject her for what she’d just confessed.

  He forced her hips down on him, burying himself deep inside her. She cried out in shock as she threw back her head. Marcus kissed the tender flesh of her neck that she’d exposed to him, biting her gently as he guided her hips up and down.

  When he brought her mouth back to his, she needed no more encouragement as she made love to him, wishing and hoping in her heart of hearts that this wouldn’t be their last time. But somewhere inside her cloudy mind, Melissa knew without a doubt that after what she’d just admitted, it would be.

  Thirteen

  “Father, where’s Marcus?”

  Melissa walked back into the shop the next morning after noticing during her chores that the water trough was empty--the first time it had been empty since Marcus had accepted the job at Chuck’s General Store. Ever since she’d told him she did that chore on her own, he’d done it for her in the early hours of the morning. Now, as the sun peeked over the horizon, the trough was empty.

  Her father busied himself by polishing the counter near the back, coughing into his hand and giving her a sigh but not an answer.

  “Father?”

  “Damn it.” He threw down the rag and startled her. “I didn’t want to do this to you, sweetheart.”

  “Do what?” An unsettling dread crept into her heart.

  “Marcus is gone, honey. He isn’t coming back.”

  “Gone? What do you mean gone?”

  “He told me yesterday afternoon that he’d be leaving in the morning. He simply wanted to move on to bigger and better things, I guess. He didn’t want me to tell you until he was long gone.”

  Melissa stood there in disbelief, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. “He’s leaving?”

  Chuck Bloom nodded sadly. “He might still be getting ready to leave at the livery stable. I’m not exactly sure when he’ll be heading out.”

  “So he… he knew last night he was leaving? Last night when we… he knew. That son of a bitch!”

  Turning on her heel, Melissa ripped open the front door and raced down the boardwalk toward the stable. Marcus McCaide wanted to leave her, and without even a word of explanation or goodbye? The man was going to get a good tongue-lashing before she was through with him!

  Upon entering the building, she spied him strapping on his saddlebags with Pete already saddled, bridled, and ready to go.

  “You’re just going to leave without even saying goodbye to me?” Melissa’s harsh voice echoed through the stables.

  Marcus hesitated a moment but didn’t bother turning around to face her. “It’s for the best.”

  “For whom? You?”

  “For both of us, Lissa.”

  “Marcus McCaide, I never knew you were such a coward.”

  Turning around slowly, he pinned her with an icy stare. “I am not a coward.”

  “Could have fooled me,” she spat, folding her arms on her chest, ready to do battle.

  “I didn’t want to see you this morning, Lissa. I didn’t want to be in your presence. Every time I am, I’m consumed with this overpowering need to take you into my arms and…”

  “And what, Marcus?” she challenged.

  “It can’t be allowed to happen again. What’s gone on between us shouldn’t have happened at all. You were wrong to come to me the other night, but what’s done is done. If I stay here, sugar, it’s going to continue. The only way I can stop it is to leave.”

  Melissa narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t call me that.”

  “What?”

  “Sugar.”

  Marcus beat his hat a few times on his leg before putting it on his head. “Fine. I’ve got to go.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.” He turned and mounted his horse in one easy move.

  Melissa panicked and walked briskly over to the stallion. “Wait.”

  “Lissa, we can’t--”

  “Don’t be so obtuse, Marcus,” she interrupted. “I just wanted to say goodbye to Pete.”

  He stayed silent as she stood in front of his horse, scratching his nose and hugging his black head.

  “You stay safe, you hear me, boy?” she whispered, too afraid to look up at the man on Pete’s back. The moment she did, her tears would fall. “I’m going to miss you, Pete.” She smiled when he sniffed the pockets of her skirt. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any carrots today.”

  Giving the horse a kiss on his soft nose, she couldn’t help but look up and gaze at Marcus’s handsome face one last time. She felt a shudder rip through her at the intense look in his eyes. Her chest rose and fell as she took short, labored breaths, knowing full well her tears shone in her eyes.

  “Marcus,” she managed to say, “I hope you find what you’re looking for. And… and I hope you find a… woman who makes you happy.”

  Unable to stay a moment longer, she turned and ran out of the stables. She didn’t stop until she was locked in her room above the general store, crying her eyes out on her pillow. Shirley snored in her bed, blissfully unaware of it all.

  ~ * ~

  Marcus raced across the desert. He didn’t know where he was going and didn’t care. Melissa’s final words had ripped through his heart with a vengeance. He needed to run--he needed to forget--but, try as he might, the hot desert winds and the merciless sun did nothing to erase Melissa’s scent from his memory or her smile from his soul.

  After what seemed an eternity, he slowed Pete down gradually, stopping in the shade of a nearby copse of trees. He was nearing the foothills surrounding Gideon’s Gulch, but he needed to stop and water his horse. Cursing foully, he jumped down and grabbed his water, stroking the horse’s soft nose.

  Pete was covered in foam, and Marcus cursed again. He should know better than to run his horse aground in such hot weather. After taking off his saddle and bridle, Marcus rubbed him down as well, deciding to settle in under the shade of trees for the rest of the day. His stomach growled fiercely but he ignored it, sitting cross-legged on the ground and scowling at nothing in particular. The big black horse nudged his shoulder a few times, and Marcus reached up to stroke his face.

  “Did I do the right thing, Pete? I’m not sure I did.”

  The horse chuffed and tossed his head a few times as if in answer.

  “Lissa is the only woman I’ve ever wanted to make love with night after night. She’s the only woman who isn’t afraid to stand up to me.”<
br />
  Bending his head low, Pete cropped some weeds out of the ground and chewed.

  “But this is for the best. It has to be. Lissa doesn’t want a man like me for a husband. If she ever knew…” He shuddered at the memory that tore through him: Women screaming, children crying, rapid gunshots ringing in his ears until he had to cover them with his hands. Tears he couldn’t stop fell down his cheeks as he remembered her face--the little girl’s face. Vacant eyes peering up at him, her life snuffed out before it had even begun.

  More visions from that horrible day bombarded him--his gold star pinned proudly to his chest as he confronted the masked bank robbers in their bid for freedom. But he hadn’t thought they’d open fire on him in the middle of a crowded street. Suddenly, his own gun was drawn, returning their fire and killing three of the five bandits. The other two high-tailed it out of town, the money bags they’d stolen lying forgotten on the ground.

  That was when he’d heard the woman’s piercing scream. Her daughter was dead, hit in the chest by his ricocheting bullet. The little girl, not much older than four years old, lay dead.

  As Marcus ran to console her mother, the other deputies unmasked the bandits and cried out in shock. There, lying in a pool of blood, was Matthew McCaide, Marcus’s younger brother. He’d somehow gotten himself mixed up with a notorious gang from Oklahoma and now lay dead in the street--dead from Marcus’s own gun.

  The pain had been too much to bear then, and even now it ripped through him mercilessly. Marcus couldn’t forgive himself, so how could he expect Lissa to forgive him for taking the life of a little girl and killing his own brother? She’d look at him in disgust; and she’d want nothing more to do with him.

  No, this was for the best. After watching that poor child die, Marcus had no inclinations to be a family man. How could he possibly raise a child when all he could see was that little girl’s empty eyes?

  Pulling his knees up to his chest, Marcus wept. He’d lost it all, his brother, his badge, his self-respect, and now Lissa. He’d lost Lissa, and she thought he didn’t want her, just like all the others she’d fallen for.

  “Son of a bitch!”