And Then She Ran

by Karen Clarke

  ‘I’m waiting for my friend.’

  Back at the table, I fought an instinct to wake Lily just so I had an excuse to lift her out and hold her soft body against me, reassure myself she really was here with me; that she was safe. Morag watched me. ‘Everything OK?’

  I nodded, but the pub was too noisy, too warm. I felt overemotional, teetering on the brink of tears. ‘Do you mind if we go home?’

  She didn’t hesitate, just picked up her jacket, asked Ifan to say our goodbyes to Annie and followed me out, Skip close behind. ‘Why were you gone so long?’ she said when we were in the van, Skip panting in the back. ‘I was about to come and get you.’

  Lily was waking in her seat, beginning to cry. I shushed her, rearranged her blanket, pressed a kiss to her forehead. ‘I had to check something.’

  Morag started the engine, switching the heating on. ‘And?’ The whites of her eyes gleamed as she turned to look at me.

  ‘And, nothing.’ I made myself meet her gaze. ‘Everything’s OK.’ I was tense, wondering what might be waiting back at the cottage. Hopefully, the presence of the officers had put paid to my stalker’s plans, at least for now. ‘I’m looking forward to a good night’s sleep.’

  ‘Me too,’ Morag said.

  It was a moment or two before some sixth sense alerted me to a vehicle behind us. I shielded my eyes as the beam of headlights filled the interior with bright light.

  Morag was hunched over the steering wheel, squinting at the near-invisible road ahead. ‘Could they get any closer?’

  ‘That’s what I was thinking.’

  She adjusted the rear-view mirror to deflect the light and pressed on the accelerator. ‘Road hog.’

  ‘Maybe you should let them go past.’ I rested a hand on Lily’s blanket. Her face scrunched in protest as light seeped through her eyelids, and she twisted her head as if to escape the glare. ‘What are they playing at?’

  ‘Some impatient wanker,’ Morag muttered, slowing down reluctantly. Instead of manoeuvring round, the driver behind slowed too as if keeping pace. My heart missed a beat. Someone was following us. The flare of headlamps filled the windscreen, highlighting a warning sign at the side of the road: a concealed left turn.

  ‘Down there.’

  ‘What?’ Confused, Morag took her eyes off the road.

  ‘Just turn!’ As we reached a gap at the side of the road, I seized the steering wheel. The van slid off the tarmac, wheels skidding.

  ‘Jesus!’ Morag struggled with the wheel as the van lurched down a track with tall hedges on either side, barely wide enough to accommodate a bike. She slammed her foot on the brake and the engine stalled.

  I blinked in the sudden darkness, the silence a roar in my ears.

  ‘What—’

  ‘Shh!’

  I waited, expecting twin beams to swing into view behind us, for the purr of a 4x4 – I was sure that’s what it had been, a flash of silver as we swerved off the road – but there was only blackness behind and a muddy track ahead, puddled with water that quivered in the glow of the headlights.

  Morag looked shaken, her face pale. ‘What the hell was that all about?’

  ‘Don’t you think we were being followed?’

  ‘It wasn’t my first thought, no.’ Morag glanced over her shoulder. ‘You shouldn’t have grabbed the wheel like that. It’s dangerous.’

  Shame flooded my veins. What had I been thinking, with Lily in the van? ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.’

  Morag eyed me silently before gunning the engine. ‘So much for you being fine,’ she said, reversing back to the road. ‘Maybe a decent night’s sleep will do you good.’

  Chapter 26

  The following morning brought a reprieve from the wind and rain. Sun streamed through the kitchen window as I washed up after breakfast and, when Morag came in from the garden, the air had a cut-grass scent that made me think of summer.

  ‘Good day for going up Snowdon,’ she said, slipping her jacket off and pushing her the sleeves of her sweater up. She’d risen early – to walk Skip, she’d said, but I suspected it was to check for signs of anyone hanging about. I knew I’d spooked her last night with my insistence that we were being followed. In the warm light of day, it seemed improbable, yet I couldn’t shake off the certainty I’d felt. Had someone intended to run us off the road, or just to scare me? I’m here! You can’t escape! ‘You should get some good views.’

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind dropping us in Fenbrith?’

  ‘If you’re sure it’s a good idea to go up a mountain with a baby and a man you barely know, who am I to argue?’

  ‘You’re the one who said I shouldn’t let what happened stop me from living my life.’

  ‘Says the woman who thought we were being chased by baddies last night.’ She shook her head. ‘Just be careful, that’s all.’

  ‘Declan seems genuine. I checked him out on Facebook,’ I said. ‘He’s who he says he is.’

  ‘Oh well, if you’ve looked him up on Facebook.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘You know you could go up the mountain with me if you want to do the tourist thing.’

  I put down the pack of nappies I’d picked up. ‘You have your life, Morag. I’m imposing enough as it is.’

  ‘Maybe I’m happy to spend time with you.’ She crossed to the sink and washed her hands, almost angrily.

  My throat tightened. ‘I’m glad you feel like that.’ It was more than I deserved.

  ‘We should go and visit your mum.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Tomorrow.’ Morag turned, grabbing a towel off the drainer. ‘It’s long overdue.’

  I felt the colour drain from my face. ‘But—’

  ‘Tomorrow.’ She threw the towel down and folded her arms. ‘We’ll drive to Berkshire first thing in the morning.’ She looked at Lily again. ‘It’s not right, keeping this from her. If she knew you were here and hadn’t been in touch …’ She stopped and swallowed. ‘She’ll be upset.’

  This concern for my mother’s feelings was unexpected to say the least. ‘Morag, I was going to call her,’ I said carefully. ‘I was waiting until I was on my feet again.’

  ‘If you’re up to going on a date with a stranger, you’re up to seeing your mum.’ Her tone was final.

  ‘But … you want to come too?’

  ‘How else are you going to get there?’

  ‘I could take a train.’ My mind shied away from the reality. Maybe I could think of an excuse before tomorrow, invent a sore throat or a migraine. I wasn’t ready to face my mother.

  ‘If you keep putting it off, you’ll never get round to it, and maybe it’s time I made peace with her too.’

  My mouth fell open. ‘Where’s this coming from?’

  ‘Life’s too short, wouldn’t you say?’

  I regarded her, trying to organise my thoughts. ‘That depends how you look at it.’ I shoved a handful of nappies into Lily’s changing bag along with a pack of baby wipes. ‘It’s too short to be around someone who makes you unhappy.’

  ‘I think your mum would have left your father if he hadn’t died,’ Morag said out of the blue. ‘Once you were at college, an adult.’

  I busied myself lifting Lily out of her chair, kissing the tip of her nose. ‘If I agree to go tomorrow, will you drop me in Fenbrith and stop giving me a hard time?’

  ‘I thought you were going to bake some more bread.’ She looked at the floor. ‘Annie wants a loaf.’

  ‘It wasn’t an official order.’ Was Morag jealous that I was going to meet Declan? ‘There’s plenty of time for that,’ I said kindly – as though placating a surly child. ‘It’s just one day out, not even a whole day. And you’re the one suggesting we swan off to Berkshire tomorrow.’

  ‘Why don’t you leave Lily with me today?’

  ‘No.’ I softened. ‘No offence, Morag. It’s not that I don’t trust you with her, but it’s too soon. I promise I will, but not yet.’

  She nodded, as if it was the answer
she’d expected, but I had a feeling there was a lot more she wanted to say. ‘We’d better get a move on then.’

  *

  Declan was outside the café when I arrived, perhaps mindful of my warning that I wouldn’t wait if he was late. My spirits lifted when he raised a hand and smiled, ducking to grin at Lily strapped in her carrier on my chest. The feeling was a welcome surprise after the sensation of dread I’d come to associate with Patrick.

  ‘You’re early,’ I said, after Morag had driven off, revving the engine unnecessarily. She glared at Declan though the windscreen as she passed.

  ‘Your aunt doesn’t look too thrilled.’

  ‘She’s worried you’re planning to push me off the mountain.’ I was testing the waters with a flippancy I rarely deployed in male company. It felt too close to flirting. ‘Just so you know, I now have phone numbers for the cottage and the pub so I can call if I need anything, and she’ll be back here at four to pick me up.’

  ‘Your aunt doesn’t have a cell phone?’

  It was odd to hear the Americanisation. ‘Probably the only person in Wales who doesn’t,’ I said. ‘She’s not keen on connections.’

  Declan laughed, shaking his head. ‘Well, look, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t choose a popular tourist attraction on a Sunday morning, now would I?’

  ‘You could make it look like someone else had done it.’

  ‘We’re going on a train that moves very, very slowly,’ he pointed out. ‘Unless we’re right at the top, there’s nowhere to bump you over the edge.’ He studied me, head tilted in a way that made me glad I’d chosen the least hideous of my hooded sweatshirts to wear, under a padded jacket of Morag’s, that didn’t make me look too washed out. Shame my trousers were Morag’s too, rolled up at the hem above my trainers. She’d grudgingly offered them when I revealed my jeans were still in the washing machine and I didn’t know what to wear.

  You need something suitable in case it rains. It can be brutal up there.

  We’re going on the train, not actually climbing the mountain.

  Just take them, Grace.

  They were waterproof and crackled when I moved, but glancing around, I didn’t look too different to everyone else heading towards the little station, opposite a glittering lake where swans glided serenely on the surface.

  ‘What happened to your face?’ he said.

  I realised he was looking at my bruise and felt like an idiot. ‘I was running after a dog and fell.’ I started walking, hoping he wouldn’t ask for details.

  ‘We’re in luck, the railway has just reopened for the season.’ Declan fell into step beside me. ‘We might have been forced to climb the mountain otherwise.’

  ‘I’m sure we’d have been fine if you’re as experienced as you say.’

  ‘Hugh’s the expert, but I know what to do in a snowstorm or an avalanche.’ He gave me a sideways look, clearly teasing. ‘I have mountaineering skills.’

  ‘Shame it looks like you won’t get to show me.’ I glanced up at the wispy white clouds trailing across the blue sky. Around us, the range of mountains loomed, timeless and somehow reassuring, the peak of Snowdon clearly visible for once. ‘Looks like spring has finally arrived.’

  ‘Luckily, I’m good in sunshine too.’ He seemed cheerful and the thought that it might be something to do with me was intoxicating. He looked good in his weatherproof jacket and hiking boots. I could easily imagine him scaling a mountain, all powerful arms and strong thighs, the wind ruffling his hair. ‘I expect this will be a first for madam.’ He nodded at Lily, who jumped as we entered the station and the waiting train let off a hiss of steam.

  Her face crumpled, her bottom lip jutting out. I jiggled and shushed her, adjusted her in the carrier, making sure she was comfortable in her downy one-piece and woollen hat.

  A smell of burning coal hung in the air, taking me back to bonfire nights and my grandparents’ house where a coal fire permanently blazed in winter.

  ‘It’s a first for me too,’ I said with a smile. ‘I’ve never been up Snowdon.’

  He clapped a melodramatic hand to his chest. ‘But I thought your grandparents lived in Wales.’

  ‘Yes, but we never quite got this far.’ We joined the queue for the ticket booth. ‘My father wasn’t outdoorsy and Mum … I suppose when you grow up somewhere like this, you take the tourist attractions for granted.’ Declan nodded but didn’t comment. ‘I remember my grandfather telling me the Welsh name for Snowdon means tomb,’ I continued. ‘Legend has it, the mountain is the tomb of an ogre who used to kill kings and make cloaks out of their beards. I was terrified at the time and my mum was furious with him.’ I’d forgotten that memory; how Dad had chased me, screaming, around my grandparents’ house, making ‘ogre’ noises while Mum pleaded with him to stop.

  ‘Well, Wales is the land of dragons, wizards, King Arthur and the Holy Grail, or so I’ve heard.’ Declan’s lips were full and smiling, his eyes bright and warm. ‘According to Hugh,’ he added. ‘He enjoys telling tales to visitors at the centre. Did you know the Devil is too embarrassed to visit this part of Wales?’ I shook my head, amused. ‘Something about saving an old woman’s cow in exchange for a living soul, but she outwitted him with a loaf of bread.’

  ‘What?’ I couldn’t help laughing. ‘It wouldn’t surprise me. The story, I mean. It’s said that those who sleep on the mountain will awaken either as a madman, a poet, or never wake again.’ He pretended to look scared. ‘I came across that little gem when I was researching the area. It stuck in my mind.’

  ‘Researching?’

  Damn. ‘My aunt … it’s the first time I’ve visited her in years.’ I kept smiling and tried not think of myself hunched in front of the computer at the New York Public Library, looking for details about Fenbrith, about how remote Morag’s home really was. ‘I wasn’t that familiar with this part of Wales.’

  ‘Where did you say you lived before?’ We’d reached the front of the queue. Declan took out a card to pay, not looking at me.

  ‘I’ll get mine,’ I dug a hand in my bag, heart racing.

  ‘My treat.’ He looked at the bag with raised eyebrows. ‘There’s a lot of stuff to cart around when you have a baby.’

  Relieved by the change of subject, I said, ‘Really, this is the best age to travel with her. It’ll be much harder when she’s older, especially when she’s running about.’ The thought of a day when Lily wouldn’t need carrying was hard to visualise, but I supposed it was like that for all parents. You could only picture your child at the stage they were at. ‘I didn’t want to leave her behind today.’

  ‘Well, I did invite you both,’ he said gravely. ‘Is she heavy?’

  ‘Not now, but give her a few months.’

  We headed past the gift shop and white picket fence, onto the departure platform. A large group of trainspotters were taking photos of the steam engine, which was attached to a single-coach. ‘I’m impressed that you guessed how old she is.’

  ‘Did I?’ Declan leant close to the engine and studied one of the brass plates before looking back at me. ‘She looks the same as my sister’s baby at that age.’

  ‘How many children does …’ I almost said Shauna, remembering in the nick of time that I wouldn’t know her name unless I’d looked him up online ‘… does your sister have?’

  ‘Just the one at the moment. Ruby. She’s going through the terrible twos.’

  ‘I’d have liked a brother or sister,’ I said out of nowhere. ‘My mum couldn’t have any more. Actually, that’s not true.’ I surprised myself again. ‘By the time I was three, she understood my dad wasn’t good at sharing her attention so decided to stop at one.’

  Declan’s eyes were loaded with questions, but all he said was: ‘Having siblings isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.’ I thought of the photo his sister had posted on Facebook, the fond memories it must have evoked, and suspected that wasn’t true in his case, but appreciated he was trying to make me feel better. Would Lily be an only chi
ld? I couldn’t think about that now. It was time to board the train. Declan gestured for me to go in front of him. As the queue shuffled forward, I got caught up in the throng of trainspotters with their cameras and felt myself being jostled, thickly clothed bodies pushing around me, too close for comfort.

  ‘Excuse me.’ Hot and panicky, I tried to force my way through the bottleneck, which seemed to tighten, hemming me in. ‘Can you let me through, please?’ My voice was high-pitched. ‘I have a baby.’ Terrified Lily was going to get squashed I pushed out my elbows to create some space. Where was Declan? Faces turned, disapproving, annoyed I was spoiling the fun. Reluctantly, the group parted, muttering unhelpfully.

  I moved awkwardly past, shielding Lily with my arms, realising I’d gone too far when my feet reached the very edge of the platform in front of the engine. As I was about to turn and shout for Declan, someone barged roughly against my shoulder so that I teetered. I tried to steady myself, twisting my body away, but it was no good. Weighted with Lily in her carrier, I fell towards the track.

  Chapter 27

  Strong fingers closed around my arm and yanked me backwards. I slammed into something solid and stayed there a moment, eyes closed, arms around the solid bulk of Lily.

  ‘It’s OK, I’ve got you.’ Declan.

  My heart hammered, my mouth drying. If I’d fallen … Shock had frozen my movements. Opening my eyes, I checked Lily. Her dark gaze met mine, as if she too was making sure we were fine.

  ‘Someone shoved me on purpose.’

  ‘I wondered where you’d gone, then saw you being carried along with that bunch of anoraks.’ Declan spoke at the same time and I wasn’t sure he’d heard me.

  I didn’t repeat my assumption. I’d been surrounded by bodies, making a fuss, demanding space. It had been an accident; that was all. Thank God Declan had seen, that he had lightning reflexes, was strong.

  Pulse slowing, I turned, my breath returning to normal. Space surrounded us now, the snappers moving off like a shoal of fish.