Finding You

by Elizabeth Holland

  “Claire?” Laura’s head jerked up at the sound of her false name, she had almost forgotten that Luke was sitting opposite her. By now, her food had gone cold, and all she wanted was to leave for the night and find somewhere safe to sleep. Her eyes were drooping, and she was struggling to focus on the conversation. There was a glint in Luke’s eyes that unnerved Laura - why was he so eager to speak to her? Laura shook her head to rid herself of the thought. She was just tired and suspicious of everyone. That was just who she was these days.

  “Sorry, I’ve just got a lot on my mind. Thank you for trying to help but I have to go.” Laura grabbed her bag as Luke was distracted by shouting on the other side of the room, she surreptitiously put the knife she had been using in her bag - It didn’t hurt to have some form of protection on her. Other shelter staff had calmed the man down and Luke’s attentions returned to her.

  “Well, you know where we are Claire, please come back, and have a think about how we might help you. I’ll see you soon!” Luke’s face lit up, and he flashed her a smile. A spark flowed through her. Immediately, guilt enveloped her. How could she be admiring another man’s smile when Sean was missing and presumed dead? Especially the smile of a man who she didn’t even trust.

  Without saying another word, Laura ran from the room, ignoring all the eyes that turned on her as she rushed to make her way to the door. Thankfully, she was soon through the door and breathing in the fresh air. She knew Luke was only doing his job and being kind, but it was her reaction to him that had upset her. How could she be thinking about another man after everything that had happened? With a sigh, Laura pulled her hood up to cover her face and made her way over towards the shadows. A strange tiredness had come over her and she was finding it difficult to focus. Laura knew she had to find somewhere to sleep.

  She finally settled down under a bridge, along a canal. She knew it would be quiet, and there was little chance of anyone, besides other homeless people, coming across her. Laura hugged her bag close to herself as her heavy eyes closed. As her consciousness slipped from her, she was comforted knowing that she had a knife stashed away in the side pocket of her bag. She would have to be careful for the next couple of days now that she had shown her face somewhere.

  Chapter Three

  As the sun rose in the sky and the birds started chirping, Laura woke. During her time on the streets, she had learned how to sleep lightly. As soon as her eyes were open, she was alert. Today, however, everything was a little harder. Her body was slow, each slight movement was a monumental task, and her mind was slow and foggy. It was almost like she was suffering from a hangover. Despite this, she packed up her belongings and readied herself for another tiresome day of begging for food and money. Laura was cold and would have loved a shower, but she knew it was too risky to visit another shelter so soon after last night. She would have to keep a low profile for a while and check newspapers to see if anyone had recognised her.

  Once Laura had packed up and was back on the streets looking for food, she couldn’t shake the image of Luke from her head. He had been so kind and considerate, and he had genuinely seemed to want to help her. Laura couldn’t deny the fact that he was also very good looking, and he had eyes she could get lost in, if she wasn’t so jumpy and alert all the time. For a moment, Laura allowed her imagination to run away with itself as she thought about what it might be like to live with Luke - to wake up next to him every day and to feel safe walking around the streets of London with him by her side. As Laura lost herself in the thought, pain coursed through her body. How could she be thinking about Luke? What about Sean? Laura mentally chastised herself. She couldn’t allow someone to lure her into trusting them just because they were nice to her. Thankfully, she would never have to see Luke again.

  Laura pushed her way through the London crowds and allowed the pain of Sean’s loss to pierce through the protective wall she had built. She needed to feel the pain, to remind herself just how much she missed him. To remind herself why she was living on the streets and searching for answers. Today, she would visit Waterloo library to use their computers. Laura had exhausted every avenue of research, however that didn’t mean she could just give up. She had to find out what happened to Sean. What if he was still alive? Laura thought back to the night she realised Sean was missing. With the pain came the memories of a day that Laura would never forget.

  ◆◆◆

  27th October 2019,

  Laura breathed a sigh of relief as she plated up the last meal of the day. Her shift was finally over and she could rest her feet for the first time in hours. As she pulled her chef’s hat off and unbuttoned her jacket, she revelled in the cool air that hit her. It had been so hot and stuffy in the kitchen. It was Laura’s night off, however her colleague, Paul, had called in sick, meaning that she had to step in at the last minute and cover for him. She had planned a quiet night in with wine and a takeaway with her boyfriend, Sean. Instead, she had been toiling away in a hot kitchen all night.

  The kitchen team had said they would clear up without Laura’s help tonight, and so she shouted her goodbye and ran out to her car. She hoped she might still get an hour tonight with Sean. They had barely seen each other lately, what with her working in the kitchen so often, and he had been busy at work. Unfortunately, a police officer’s job was never complete. Tonight had been the first night in weeks that both their schedules were free, and yet they still hadn’t spent any time together. Laura sent Sean a quick text telling him she was on her way home and that she had also grabbed a leftover slice of apple pie to bring home with her, his favourite dessert.

  As Laura pulled up outside the flat she shared with Sean, a funny feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. Something seemed off. Dismissing the feeling, Laura scooped up her belongings, balancing the apple pie on the top, before making her way towards the block of flats. Thankfully, someone was just coming out and so they held the door open for her. Laura made her way up the two flights of stairs and along the hallway to flat number Twelve. The uneasiness resurfaced and she found herself unable to dismiss it.

  The door to their flat was open slightly, however that was not unusual. She often got home with armfuls of clothes and food, and so Sean would leave the door on the latch for her to just push it open. That evening she did just that, calling out a hello as she closed the door behind her. She was met with silence. Laura dumped all the items in her arms on the console table in the hallway and made her way into the living room to see what Sean was doing.

  Laura pushed open the living room door and before she could stop herself, she screamed. It was a sound she had never heard herself make before. With trembling hands, she ran back to the front door and opened it. Once out on the landing, uncontrollable sobs ripped through her body. Her neighbours all came rushing out to see what the commotion was but Laura couldn’t form any words, all she could do was scream in-between sobs and point towards her front door.

  The scene she had walked in on would haunt her forever. Their usually tidy living room was a mess with the furniture overturned - every surface cleared of its contents. Drawers had been flung open, and the contents were lying in piles on the floor. However, that hadn’t been what had made Laura scream. In the middle of the room, just behind their upturned sofa, was an enormous pool of blood. Next to it was Sean’s wallet and phone. Laura had fled the flat, terrified of what she might see next or who might still be in there. As the neighbours flocked around her, she tried to form sentences.

  “Sean. Where’s Sean?” Laura gasped out in between sobs. “Sean could be lying somewhere in the flat, bleeding to death. Has someone called an ambulance?” This time Laura’s voice came out loud and clear. She was shouting. She felt for her phone in her pockets before realising that it was on the pile of items she had left on the console table. With another scream of anguish she threw herself towards the door, trying to get through to get her phone.

  “Laura, calm down, please. Sean’s not in there.” Simon, their neighbour, put a hand on L
aura’s shoulder to calm her. He had been the first person to come to Laura’s aid and had run straight into the flat to see what the matter was.

  “What do you mean he’s not in there?” If he wasn’t in there, then where was he?

  Adrenaline took over, and Laura could think with some clarity. Perhaps he had been hurt, but with his police training he had probably taken himself to hospital. She took a breath to calm herself. If she could just get to her phone, she could call Sean’s parents. The hospital would have called Sean’s next of kin, and since they weren’t married, that would have been his parents. They would know where he was.

  “The police are here.” Simon announced. Laura took a deep breath to collect her thoughts. The police could call the hospital and find out how Sean was. She hoped it might be one of his colleagues.

  As the officers stepped out of the lift, Laura was disappointed as she didn’t recognise either of them. The two men strolled over towards the entrance of the flat where Laura was standing, with Simon by her side.

  “Miss Harper?” One officer asked, the other remained silent, staring down at his shoes.

  “Yes. My boyfriend, Sean Scott, has gone missing and there’s blood covering our living room.” Laura’s voice wobbled as she spoke, but she controlled her emotions for long enough to explain the situation to the officers.

  “Miss Harper, my name is Logan. There will be other officers along shortly to review the crime scene, however we’re here to ensure your safety. We’d like you to come with us, please.” The same man spoke, whilst the other kept staring down at his shoes. Perhaps he was new to the job. Laura was terrified. They had sent officers to keep her safe before they even looked at the crime scene. She knew enough about Sean’s day-to-day work life to know that this was not the normal procedure. The situation must be serious.

  “Where are we going?” Laura asked.

  “We’ll take you to the hospital to see Sean and then from there we will take you to a safe house.” The promise of seeing Sean was all that Laura needed to hear. She didn’t even think to pick up her phone or her bag. Thankfully, she had stopped for petrol on her way home so her bank card was in her pocket. She said her thanks to Simon and followed the officers back down to their car. They led Laura to a plain car parked across the road. Both men kept looking around them to ensure there was nobody around. Laura knew she should be scared, her life was in danger, however all she could think about was seeing Sean.

  She climbed into the back of the car and put her seat belt on as both officers climbed in the front. Nobody said a word as they drove through the city. It wasn’t until they got to a crossroads that fear set in. They had driven straight over, but to get to the hospital you had to turn left. Laura was sure there wasn’t another route. With sudden clarity, she replayed the events in her head. When the officers arrived, neither of them had shown a badge. This was something Sean had always warned her about. They had seemed jumpy, but Laura had put it down to the dangerous situation. But what if that wasn’t the reason? She had been too concerned for Sean’s safety to even consider her own.

  The car doors were unlocked, and so Laura knew she could escape.

  “What station did you say you’re from?” she asked, trying to hide the tremble in her voice. The same officer that had done all the talking responded. They were from the same station as Sean. An icy chill ran down Laura’s spine. Sean always spoke to her about work and would tell her when they had any new recruits, not once had he ever mentioned these two officers. Logan was a distinctive name and Laura would have remembered it. The other officer was clearly new and young, and yet Sean had not mentioned any new recruits in a long while. She was almost certain that these men were lying to her.

  The car slowed at another set of traffic lights, and Laura knew that this was her only opportunity to run. Silently, she undid her seatbelt, ensuring that neither of the men in front noticed. Without thinking too much, she threw open the car door and ran. She heard the heavy footsteps as they ran after her. Both men were shouting at her, angry and threatening.

  “Come back!” The officer named Logan shouted after her. A sob rose in Laura’s chest and she knew she couldn’t prevent it, however she had to keep running. So that’s what she did. She ran, and she ran until there was no way they could still be following her.

  ◆◆◆

  The sound of a car horn pulled Laura from her memories. It took a moment for her to focus on the events surrounding her. She was still in London, however she had been walking blindly through the streets as she relived the events of that night. Laura turned her head in search of the noise when her eyes settled on a familiar face. It was Luke from the shelter. Another beep made her jump, and she turned towards it. It was too late though, inches away from her was a bus. Laura whipped her head back to the spot where Luke had been standing, but he wasn’t there anymore. She must have imagined it. The sound of the brakes squealed throughout Laura’s ears and the smell of burnt rubber from the tyres filled her nostrils. Before she could react and jump out of the way, the bus hit her. The searing pain ripped through Laura’s body. She couldn’t scream, she couldn’t do anything. She could feel her consciousness slipping, she didn’t fight it. Perhaps now she could reunite with Sean.

  “Move out the way, I’m a doctor!” was the last thing Laura heard before she allowed the darkness to steal away her consciousness.

  Chapter Four

  The first thing Laura was aware of was the pain. A hot, harrowing pain that was consuming her entire body. She didn’t know whether to fight it or to allow it to take hold of her. Was this what death felt like? Laura hoped Sean hadn’t experienced this kind of pain on that fateful night. Despite the searing pain, the thought of Sean going through this hurt her even more. It was a different type of pain, this one manifested in her heart and tore through to her soul. She couldn’t bear to think about what he might have gone through.

  “Hello?” There was a voice calling to Laura, it sounded far away. She recognised the voice and for a moment Laura wondered whether it was Sean’s. As her senses returned to her, she realised it wasn’t Sean’s voice she was hearing, it was Luke’s. Fear filled Laura’s body. Why was she with Luke? Had he been following her ever since their encounter that morning? There had been something about him at the shelter that made her doubt his authenticity. Was he working for them?

  Laura fought with her body to regain consciousness. She needed to run. Although, how she would run whilst battling this pain, she did not know. The pain coursing through her body hadn’t eased in the slightest. As she successfully prized open her eyes, a bright light blinded her. Slowly, she blinked and focused on the room surrounding her. She was in a hospital room. Laura took a deep breath to steady herself and tried to piece together what was happening. Standing around her bed were three people, Luke and two friendly looking nurses, one male and one female. They were all staring at her as though they were waiting for her to do something entertaining. Laura stared in disbelief at the sight of Luke standing at the end of her bed. What was he doing here?

  Ignoring her audience, Laura focused her attention on herself. She was lying in a hospital bed and as she looked around at her body; she discovered her right leg was in plaster and she had big purple bruises on her left arm. Laura winced as she tried to sit up. She must have broken some ribs.

  “What happened?” she eventually stuttered out. Her mouth was incredibly dry and she struggled to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth.

  “Good afternoon, Claire. I’m Doctor Bell and I’ll be looking after you during your stay at Guy’s Hospital.” Luke beamed at her and walked around to the side of the bed. For a second, Laura felt confused why he was calling her Claire, however her senses quickly caught up with her.

  “What happened?” she asked again. Her fear retreated slightly as she realised he was still under the impression that her name was Claire. Perhaps it was a coincidence that he was her doctor.

  “You don’t remember?” Luke’s voice pulle
d Laura from her musing. His brow knitted into a frown.

  “No.” Laura shook her head. Why didn’t she remember? More importantly, what didn’t she remember?

  “It’s okay,” Luke reassured her as he saw the fear cross her face, “you hit your head so it’s probably the concussion that’s made you forget. Why don’t we start with some basic questions? What’s your full name and address?” He smiled at her as he took a seat next to her bed, waiting for her response. Laura didn’t know what to do or say. She knew who she was, but she couldn’t tell him - she could not tell anyone. She would have to lie and hope he didn’t check her details. If he did, she would either be in big trouble or they would think she had lost her memory completely. Laura took a deep breath to steady her nerves. So much for starting with basic questions.

  “My name is Claire Smith, and I don’t have a permanent address at the moment.” Laura could only hope that there were many more Claire Smiths out there.

  “Of course, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked about your address. I think we have confirmed that there’s no real memory loss. How are you feeling?”

  “I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.” Laura winced as she tried to sit up in bed, her ribs were protesting.

  “Funny you should say that. You were, in fact, hit by a bus.” As the words came tumbling out of Luke’s mouth, Laura had a sudden flash of memory. She had been blindly walking along the streets of London thinking about Sean. She must have walked into the road without realising. Memories suddenly flooded back to her. She was sure she had seen him before the bus hit her. However, her mind had been playing tricks on her. It always happened when she thought about Sean, the trauma would confuse her brain.