Heart Horse (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 27)

by Claire Svendsen

  “Are you okay?” Josh asked.

  “Yes, fine,” I said vaguely, wondering if getting smacked in the head had anything to do with my enlightening moment of clarity. “Thanks for the ice pack.”

  “Don’t mention it,” he said. “I would have given you one earlier but you slipped out on me.”

  “Didn’t want you to force me to go to the hospital,” I called over my shoulder as I trotted Bluebird away.

  “I’m only here to help,” he called back.

  I wasn’t so sure about that but at least the ice pack felt good, even if the cold did make my eyes stream with tears.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  After I’d put Bluebird away and told him he was a very good boy for jumping clear against all those other horses, I went to see how Faith had done in her class. I’d seen the kids and their ponies galloping around the other ring while the team event was going on and I wanted to find out how she’d done.

  Their stalls were over in one of the other rows of stalls and I found Faith sitting outside her pony’s stall, cradling a can of soda in her hands.

  “How did you do?” I said, even though I didn’t really need to ask. If she’d won she would have been doing cartwheels by now.

  “We didn’t place,” she said with a sigh. “There are a lot of really good ponies here today. Macaroni had three rails down. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine.”

  Trust Faith to always blame herself and never her pony.

  “You guys are a team,” I said as I sat down next to her. “I’m sure it was half his fault and half yours.”

  “Maybe,” she said. “But I should have ridden better, especially with my mom watching.” She looked over to their car where her mom was sitting with the door open, talking on the phone.

  “She’s probably arranging to sell Mac right now since he sucked so bad today.”

  “Maybe that’s why you didn’t place,” I said gently. “It’s harder sometimes when people are watching you.”

  “But Mac is already in the dog house for breaking my arm,” she said. “Now if he won’t win I know he’ll be shipped off for good and soon it will be summer. I won’t be able to show because he won’t sweat. What am I going to do?”

  “I don’t know,” I said as Faith started to cry. “But tears won’t fix your problems.”

  “I know,” she said as she wiped her face on her sleeve.

  “You just have to try harder next time.” I put my arm around her.

  “If there is a next time,” she said.

  Nothing said made Faith feel any better so I left her to her misery knowing that sometimes you just had let yourself feel all the feelings before they would go away. You couldn’t force yourself to be happy about something that sucked. Life didn’t work that way. And you couldn’t win them all either, unless your name was Bluebird.

  CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

  I ate lunch with Andy and Rose. I liked Faith but I wasn’t in the mood to be brought down before the mini Grand Prix. Instead I had to focus. But that turned out to be kind of hard since Andy spent the whole time doing impressions of me getting smacked in the face by Arion and in the end I had to beg him to stop because we were all laughing so hard that my nose felt like it was going to fall off my face.

  “Hey Jess,” I called out when I saw her moping in front of her stalls. “Do you want to come and sit with us?”

  She took one look at our little group and walked off in the opposite direction.

  “I guess that is a no then, is it?” Andy called out after her.

  “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll go and find some other stuck up people to hang out with instead,” Rose said.

  “Probably,” I agreed.

  “Who cares about her anyway,” Andy said.

  Duncan had really ripped into Jess because we probably would have placed and maybe even won the team event if she’d got herself and her horse together and had a half decent round. As it was we didn’t place at all. Again. It was time to face the fact that as a team, we all sucked.

  “At least she isn’t riding in your class this afternoon,” Rose said.

  “At least.” I nodded.

  But it turned out that Duncan had decided that what was good enough for me was also good enough for Jess. He made her get on Blue later and ride him over the warm up jumps again and again until there was no question that he would even think about refusing. And then he entered her in the mini Grand Prix. I didn’t exactly feel threatened. There was still a good chance that her horse would freeze when he went in the show ring or that Jess would somehow muck it up but it sort of put the pressure back on again. Still, at least she wasn’t riding Harlow.

  I stood outside his stall while Jess was practicing and couldn’t see me, watching him. I knew him so well. That whorl on his face where his hair went in all different directions. The part of his mane that always stuck up no matter how much you tried to train it to lie down. He was a part of me. And I was a part of him. Only he wasn’t mine.

  “I’m sorry boy,” I whispered. “I wish you’d never ended up with Jess and I’m going to try and fix it. I’m going to try and get you back.”

  But I didn’t know how when Jess would never sell him to me. She wouldn’t sell him to me for all the money in the world because holding on to him gave her something to hold over me. She had something I wanted. Something precious. Something she was never going to let go of. But maybe if she didn’t, Mr. Eastford would. Except he probably hated me as much as Jess did since he blamed me for getting shot in the foot. It was an impossible situation and I tried not to think about it. I had a Grand Prix to focus on instead.

  CHAPTER FIFTY TWO

  I walked the Grand Prix course with my dad. Competing against each other, which was totally weird. Dad had been riding much longer than I had and Canterbury was an experienced jumper. Sure, he was rusty and so was my father but it kind of felt like me competing against kids in the lead line class. Not exactly fair. But I couldn’t say anything because he was my dad and he was my trainer and it felt like whatever I said wouldn’t be the right thing and might possibly result in my father telling me that he wouldn’t bring me to anymore shows. Since I didn’t have my license, a truck or my own trailer, that meant I needed to stay on his good side, which meant not complaining about things not being fair.

  The course was big and challenging. It was out on a grass jump field off to the side of the show grounds and the course designer had gone all out, taking advantage of a hedge, with a pole on top and a rather large water jump. I wished that I was riding Bluebird. I had faith in him. I had faith in Socks too but he was also rusty, having been out of commission since the whole swollen sheath incident.

  And Valentine? I didn’t even know the horse. All I knew was that he was not an easy ride. Even Arion would have been a safer bet. I pretty much had zero chance of walking away with a blue ribbon but I was actually okay with that. Walter Grey would be watching and as long as I didn’t screw up too badly and got his student’s horse round in one piece then maybe I’d get some more rides on the horse or on other horses. It also meant that I had two chances whereas my dad and Jess only had one horse to ride. The odds might not have exactly been in my favor but they weren’t looking as bad as I’d originally thought.

  CHAPTER FIFTY THREE

  The afternoon turned out to be sunny and hot. Everyone was enjoying the weather, laughing and joking as they sat on the crushed grass with rolled up sleeves and sunglasses, soaking in the sun’s warm rays. Andy and Rose teased me about competing in the same class as my father but I didn’t mind because I thought it was funny too, especially when Dad seemed more nervous than I was.

  “Your helmet,” I told him as he rode off to the warm up ring to pop Canterbury over a few jumps.

  “Right,” he said, feeling his bare head with his hand before coming back to the barn.

  I tossed it up to him and he shoved it on his head.

  “You’re not nervous, are you?” I said.

  “Of cou
rse not.”

  He gulped and then tightened his chin strap. He was totally nervous. I could tell. And it was actually kind of comforting to think that Dad’s and trainers got nervous before a class too and not just us kids.

  “Good luck,” I told him.

  “You too,” he said. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Us riding against each other?”

  “To be honest this whole day has been weird. No the whole month. Maybe, possibly my whole life.”

  “Well you are a weird kid,” Dad said with a smile. “You obsess over things that I wouldn't even think about.”

  “Like how I’m going to beat you?” I said.

  “Eat my dust,” he said as he spun Canterbury around.

  Dad was good. He’d probably win the class even though he was nervous because I knew that his nerves would disappear as soon as he got in the ring and I wouldn’t be mad because he was my father and he deserved a win. In fact he needed one more than I did. Who wanted to come and take lessons from a trainer that never won anything? And who would buy a horse that hadn’t placed in anything but a schooling show recently? If Canterbury won and we could sell him for a bundle then we’d have the money to finish the barn and fence the rest of the paddocks. Then maybe we wouldn’t have any other disasters like horses getting off the property and running away like Wizard. Poor Wizard. Wherever he was, I hoped that he was okay.

  CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR

  Socks was a nutcase. I’d thought that Arion had been excited but Socks was beside himself. We pretty much cleared out the warm up ring as he galloped and bucked, farting as he went. He jumped several feet over the small vertical and then kicked up his heels. But I was glad he was happy to be back showing again, just as long as he didn’t smack me in the face like Arion had. I didn’t think that my nose could take another bash but I didn’t need to worry.

  As soon as we got out on the grass, Socks got down to the job at hand and I let him do his thing, trying to stay out of his way as much as I could. He thought the hedge jump was the most exciting thing ever and where other horses had backed off at both that and the water jump, Socks took them in stride like he jumped hedges and water every day. But we had an unlucky rail at the second to last jump. I knew the pole would fall before he even hit it because he got too flat and I didn’t hold him for a better distance. I trusted his judgment, which was silly because I should have known that he’d take the long spot and not quite make it. Still, four faults in a mini Grand Prix was nothing to be embarrassed about.

  “Nice round,” Dad said as I rode out and he rode in.

  “You’ll do better,” I told him.

  “I doubt that,” he said.

  I held Socks by the fence, watching my father. He looked nervous, touching his helmet and then looking down to check something, maybe Canterbury’s boots or his girth. I hoped everything was okay. If Dad fell off we’d be stranded at the show with three horses and two ponies and no way to get them back home. I crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t mess up today, not with Walter Grey watching. It was just as important that he did well as it was for me. People only noticed if you had a really good or a really bad round and no one wanted the second kind because then you had to wait for the next show to redeem yourself.

  CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE

  I clutched the fence as my father thundered around the course on his big chestnut, all flashy chrome and white in the afternoon sun. I watched as he navigated the hedge, the water jump and the tricky triple combination. Canterbury was focused and on form. I’d never seen him look like the jumper I always imagined him to be but today he was. He looked like the horses I’d only ever seen on TV or at the rated shows. The kind that Mickey and I used to live stream, sharing one tablet as we watched and learned. Now the only thing she wanted to watch was dressage and so I watched alone but I realized that I could have been watching my own father all along and I couldn’t help wondering why he’d given up the show life to come back here.

  But as he came out of the ring to applause and I clapped my hands, spooking Socks, whose reins were looped through my elbow, he smiled and waved back and I knew in that moment that he’d given up his old life for me. So that he could get to know me again after all those years that he’d been gone from my life and I loved him for it but also felt horribly guilty about it too. I didn’t know if I could give up showing for anybody or anything and I guess that made me more selfish than my father was.

  “That was amazing,” I told him. “Well done.”

  “You still have a chance to go clean with that other horse,” he said.

  “You haven’t seen him yet,” I said. “His legs go in all different directions. We’ll be lucky to make it around the course in one piece.”

  “You’ll make it,” Dad said. “Trust me, Walter wouldn’t have entered the horse if he didn’t think he was capable.”

  Socks was tucked happily back in his stall by the time I had to go and ride Valentine. There would be no jump off for him today but he didn’t seem to mind. Four faults in his first outing after his medical scare wasn’t too shabby and I was proud of him. I told him so as I gave him a carrot and took one quick look in the mirror to straighten my hair. Not that it mattered. My face was black and blue and my nose was about three times the size it should have been. I wondered if Walter would change his mind about me when he saw what I looked like now.

  I ran to the ring with butterflies in my stomach that hadn’t been there when I’d ridden Socks. Nerves over riding a horse I didn’t know and didn’t trust. A horse that I had to ride to win no matter what direction his legs were going in.

  CHAPTER FIFTY SIX

  “What happened to your face?”

  They were the first words out of Fiola’s mouth when she saw me. I was thinking about making a sign so that I didn’t have to keep explaining. I was at a horse show, wasn’t it obvious that a horse had bashed me? What did people think? That Jess and I finally got into the epic fight that everyone thought was coming and she’d punched me in the face?

  “It was a horse, I’m fine,” I told her. “Honestly, it won’t affect my riding at all. I already rode the course with one of my other horses and we only had one rail down.”

  “I saw,” Walter said. “It was a decent round.”

  That was high praise from someone like Walter Grey. Sort of like something my father would say. Not that the round was good or great but that it was decent, meaning there was room for improvement but then again there always was.

  “He’ll back off at the water,” Fiola said, handing me Valentine’s reins. “And at that hedge. He’s not too keen on natural looking obstacles but he shouldn’t give you trouble anywhere else on the course.”

  “Right,” I said, patting the chestnut horse on the neck and hoping that this girl I’d only just met wasn’t handing me a ticking time bomb.

  I checked his girth because Fiola had tacked him up and you never could be too careful, noticing that his saddle pad had braided gold rope around the edge and that it perfectly matched the pretty trim on his browband. Mickey would have approved and in that moment I missed my best friend and wished that she could have come to the show to watch me and hang out just like old times.

  We walked around as we waited for our round, only two more to go before us. The wind had picked up again and it tossed leaves and dirt around. Valentine didn’t seem to mind but some of the other horses were getting spooky.

  Blue Morning Mist was over in a corner throwing a hissy fit while Duncan stood there with his arms crossed. Jess looked like she was about to cry. She didn’t want to go in the class any more than her horse did but Duncan was making her. If she couldn’t compete on the horse then she’d lose her spot on the team and part of me hoped that she’d fail and the other part, the one that believed in karma and felt like if I wished Jess bad luck then it would come back to me tenfold, wanted her to at least make it around in one piece.

  “You seem like a sweet horse,” I said as I rubbed Valentine on the neck. “Please don’t kill me.”


  CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN

  Valentine cantered into the ring and then stopped, his legs splayed like a foal. All I could do was stay calm and quiet and hope that he wouldn’t explode out from under me.

  “It’s okay,” I told him as I let him stand and look around, taking it all in. “We are just here to have some fun.”

  I just hoped that fun didn’t include launching me like a projectile into the water jump.

  We picked up the canter and approached the first fence, a rather plain looking vertical. Valentine cleared it with room to spare. The horse may not have known where his legs were on the ground but he sure knew how to tuck them up and clear a fence. He cantered down to the next one, clearing that as well. I started to relax. The horse felt foreign beneath me but he was still a horse and just because he didn’t go exactly like my other horses, didn’t mean that he wasn’t still talented. And riding on the grass was fun for a change. It was nice to be out of the dusty ring where the spectators crowded in around you. Here they were far away by the gate and down the little hill. It was almost as if you were out there schooling your horse for the fun of it and it was fun. I was getting into it now. It almost seemed like the more horses you rode, the more the pressure was off because you always had another chance to redeem yourself.

  The hedge was coming up fast now. I felt Valentine suck back beneath me and applied a strong leg. I didn’t want to have to use my crop because I didn’t know if he was one of those sensitive horses that would flip out if I did but I didn’t want to risk a refusal either. Instead I tapped him gently on the shoulder with it and he surged forward, up and over the hedge with the pole placed on top.