Handbags & Hooligans

by Laina Turner

  I leaned forward and looked, taking in what seemed like any other normal couple on a flight. Leaning back in my seat, I turned to Jared. “Why? What’s so special about them?”

  “They’re fearless, that’s what. While you were sleeping and drooling on my shoulder, our friends over there were creating their own version of the mile high club.”

  “They went in the bathroom and had sex? People really do that?”

  “Of course they really do that. But it wasn’t that. I said their own version. The girl lay down on her boyfriend’s lap, and at first I thought how sweet. He covered her with a blanket and everything. But then I noticed he started to slowly cover her face with the blanket.”

  “Seems like that would get too hot, but it’s hardly any big deal.”

  “Let me finish, would ya?” Jared snapped playfully. “You’re always interrupting me.”

  “Fine. Sorry. Finish.”

  “Well,” he leaned closer to whisper in my ear. “I noticed the blanket started moving. So she wasn’t sleeping. Yet she wasn’t coming out from underneath there, and boyfriend—oh God I hope that was her boyfriend, not some random plane strange.” Jared shuddered at the thought. “Anyways, he had his eyes shut. To make a long story short, she didn’t come out from under that blanket until he came. If you know what I mean.”

  My jaw dropped. “What!”

  “Shhhhh.”

  “You’re messing with me,” I said in an angry whisper.

  “No, I’m not, sugar. That boy had himself a fun plane ride.”

  I leaned forward to peer at the couple. The guy was good–looking but still. I mean, really. What would possess a girl to do that on a plane? He wasn’t that good–looking. “Let’s focus on why we’re here. That is just too disturbing, and I need to get it out of my head. Our job here is to get Anna married off. Let’s not forget that.”

  “Please. You know you wanted to get away from your dead–end job. This just gave you a chance. Besides, it shouldn’t take us long to wrap up the wedding stuff, and then we can enjoy the rest of our time here.”

  “It’s Vegas—we can have fun no matter what we’re doing.”

  “I certainly hope so. Not because I want to just enjoy our time out here, although that would be nice. We need to play some slots when we get off the plane. I hear they have machines all throughout the airport. I want that to be my first Vegas memory, winning a million bucks.”

  “You know the chances of you winning playing airplane slots is slim to none.”

  “Don’t be such a wet blanket. I just want to play.”

  “Sure. But only one. Jesse will be waiting for us at baggage claim.”

  Jared and I got out of our seats and fell in line to exit the plane behind the adventurous couple from our left. Jared kept giggling and poking me. I just tried to ignore the fact that Jared had ever told me what he saw. We exited the plane and waited for everyone else, as we were the first off, and were looking around for the signs to point the direction to the baggage claim.

  “Look, Presley,” Jared said pointing to the couple, who had stopped and were now talking.

  “Well, enjoy your vacation,” the woman said.

  “You, too,” the man said. “Maybe I’ll see you around. Don’t forget I’m staying at the Rio.”

  “We’ll see. I’m meeting my boyfriend, remember?”

  “Lucky guy.”

  “Yes, he is,” the girl said and walked away.

  “I wish I had his luck,” Jared murmured.

  I was standing there, dumbfounded. Did that really just happen? “You mean they…”

  “Looks like it. It was plane strange.”

  “Ewww.”

  “What’s going on?” Anna asked.

  “Plane strange,” replied Jared.

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Not at all, Anna,” I said. “I slept through it, but Jared apparently got to see the whole thing.”

  “Well, not the whole thing. That would have been a bit much.” He filled Anna and the guys in on what happened.

  “That’s just weird and a little disturbing.”

  “There’s a slot machine—c’mon. We’ll just be a minute guys,” Jared said, dragging me over to the flashing lights at the bank of slots and reaching into his pockets for change. “Do you have any change?”

  “For god sakes, Jared.” I set my white tote down and started rummaging through my matching Prada bag for my wallet. “Here’s what I have.” I gave him a handful of change.

  “Thanks.” He sat on the stool and started feeding coins into the machine. “C’mon cherries, or sevens, or bars, whatever. Show me the money.”

  “I swear, Jared, you are so juvenile sometimes. This is a waste of money.”

  “Oh, big deal, we’re talking a few bucks, the price of a Starbucks coffee.”

  “Exactly, I need a coffee. Much better use of my cash”

  “Whatever. I just know how to have a good time.”

  I looked at my phone and snapped it shut. No messages. Such a bad habit to be a phone obsessed. It drove me crazy sometimes that I actually felt left out when I didn’t have messages.

  “Winning anything yet?” I asked.

  “Shut up. This is about fun, not winning.”

  “Come on, guys,” Anna said. “Let's go. We can gamble at the casino.”

  I texted Jesse that we were here and getting our bags, and he texted back that he would meet us outside baggage claim in just a couple minutes.

  “Isn’t this just so tacky that it’s cool?” Anna said.

  “Yeah. I would agree it is tacky.” The baggage claim was putting me on sensory overload. Neon lights and flashing signs and noise from the slot machines; it was so over the top.

  We all walked outside and were blasted by the hot, dry heat. But I adjusted and after a few minutes, and found it wasn’t so bad. “You’re right, Jared. It’s much better than humidity, but I still hope my deodorant holds up.”

  “See, I told you.”

  “There’s Jesse.” Anna pointed to a guy waving frantically while hanging half out the driver’s window of a black escalade.

  With a huge grin on my face, I raised my hand and waved. I hadn’t seen him in months and was so excited. As he pulled up to the curb, I noticed a cute blonde sitting in the passenger seat. That must be Ashley, the girl he’d mentioned on the phone. He put the truck in park, jumped out, ran over, and gave me a big hug.

  “You’re next, Anna. Get over here,” he said. Everyone exchanged hugs, and then Jesse turned behind him to where the blonde was standing. “Everyone, this is Ashley, the love of my life.”

  It was all I could do to not pass out from shock. This was not at all like my brother to have such a public demonstration. I glanced over at Jared and Anna and saw they were also trying not to give away their reaction to this unexpected behavior from Jesse. They had both known him for quite a few years. But he looked happy, and if he was happy, I was happy.

  I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you, Ashley.”

  She took it. “Nice to meet you too, Presley. I’ve heard so much about you. And both of you, too,” she added, looking at Jared and Anna.

  “Hopefully it was all good,” I teased.

  “Mostly, Sis. You know I have to go through a few things you do to annoy me here and there.”

  “You did not, Jesse.” She turned back to me. “He had nothing but nice stuff to say about all of you.”

  “Thanks for covering for him, Ashley,” I said. “By the way, the guy next to Anna is her fiancé, Jeff. Then next to him are his best men, Troy and Jonathan.”

  “Nice to meet everyone,” Jesse said. “Now let’s grab all this luggage that I am sure is mostly Presley’s and Anna’s.”

  “You’ll be quiet if you know what’s good for you,” I said.

  We all grabbed our bags and followed him out to where he was parked, illegally in a loading zone with a ticket to prove it.

  “Ah, man,” Jesse said.

  �
��I warned you, Jesse,” Ashley teased.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just better remember to pay it.”

  We started driving, and it was almost a surreal feeling watching the garishness that was Vegas. I could feel the energy, and I loved it. I felt like this could be a fun place for me. And probably a place where I could get in trouble—if I were the kind of girl who got in trouble, which of course I wasn’t. I couldn’t help it that trouble found me.

  Jesse pointed out the different hotels, shows, and shops, some that were landmarks, some he just knew we would want to see. “I hope you guys aren’t too tired. I got us a deal on tickets to see the Cirque de Soleil Beatles Love tonight. It’s at the Mirage, which is right across from your hotel.”

  “Jess, that’s awesome!” Anna squealed. “I’ve heard such great things about that show. I saw a Cirque show in Chicago years ago, and it was one of the most amazing things I had ever seen. Since this is with the Beatles music, it must be even more fabulous.”

  “I would say that it is definitely fabulous. I’ve seen it a dozen times and would go weekly if I could. The music is great, the show is superb, can’t get much better, although, many of the shows here are superb.”

  We pulled into the parking lot of Harrah’s, our hotel. It was right at the end of the strip, across from the Mirage, as Jesse had already pointed out, and right down from Caesar’s, Bellagio, the Venetian and all the casinos I had always heard about. We walked into Harrah’s. To the left was all the action of the casino and to the right the check in desk. Even though it was the middle of the day, it was dark as night in here and timeless. I could see how people could lose track of whether it was day or night in here. I got checked in and headed up to my room, planning on taking a nap and then meeting Jesse and Ashley back down in the lobby at seven to grab dinner and go to the show.

  “Presley, can we meet at six thirty to talk about some wedding stuff?” Anna asked.

  “Sure. See you down here then,” I replied and opened the door to my room. I was exhausted. Part of it was how little sleep I had gotten the night before and having to get up super early. The other part was just the flying. Interesting how sitting in a plane doing nothing but taking catnaps caused me to be exhausted. I think I’d read somewhere it had to do with dehydration. I could easily see that to be true. I sure felt like a dried–out raisin.

  I had purchased a bottle of water in the hotel general store and now took a long swig. Between the travel and the heat, I was going to have to be even more diligent about drinking my water. My goal was to drink my weight in ounces of water daily; I had read that in a magazine once. And while it kept me making frequent bathroom trips, it really made me feel better. On days when I drank too much coffee or wine and not enough water, I could tell. I took another drink and set the bottle down. I should’ve probably unpacked but didn’t really feel like it. I set the alarm on my phone for four thirty. That would give me enough time later to unpack, shower, and get ready.

  What the hell was that noise? I woke from a deep sleep to the sound of a motorcycle revving its engine. I was so groggy, as I usually am when waking up from an afternoon nap, that it took me a few seconds to realize it was my alarm. Damn that Jared. He must have messed with my phone settings on the plane, and I didn’t notice. He knew I hated that alarm setting. I yawned, not wanting to get up. I lay there for a few more minutes before forcing myself to get out of bed. I unpacked my clothes and put what I wanted to wear in the bathroom as I turned on the water. I was hoping the steam would help get out some of the wrinkles and I would not have to iron. I hated ironing.

  Ready to go, I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before heading downstairs. My hair looked great. It had straightened so well in this humid–free heat. I was wearing black linen capris with a black silk tank and my most comfortable shoes, my red mules. I knew we might do some walking around and didn’t want to get blisters. I sent Jared a text saying his butt better be up from his nap (he was notorious for sleeping through his alarm), grabbed my purse, and headed downstairs. I stepped off the elevator, and Anna was already there waiting for me. She must be excited. She was usually late to everything.

  “Did you have a nice nap?” she asked.

  “It was great. Just what I needed. You?”

  “I was too excited to sleep. I just watched some TV and watched the minutes tick by.”

  “You’re going to crash tonight.”

  “Probably. Let’s go sit over there.” She pointed to a bar in the middle of the casino floor. The bar was raised and open so you could easily see everywhere. We walked over and ordered a couple Mojito’s. They brought them out with the typical bar snacks: a pretzel mix and a nut mix that was spicy. Guaranteed to make you drink more, but oh so good.

  “So, you ready for this?” I asked.

  “I am so ready, Presley. I know this is what I want, and Jeff is the right person. I’m especially glad we came out here and stopped all that planning nonsense. I can’t see how anyone would want a big wedding with all the pain in the ass planning.”

  “When are the parents coming?”

  “They will both be here sometime on Friday. My parents will arrive a little earlier than Jeff’s parents, but not much, so they said they would wait at the airport and all come to Harrah’s together.”

  “That’s nice that they get along.”

  “Yeah, it makes our lives much easier.”

  “So let’s go over the plan.” I pulled my notebook out of my purse. This was where I kept track of all the details in my life. “Tomorrow night is the bachelorette party. We are starting with manis and pedis at the salon across the street at the Mirage.”

  “Yep. Then dinner at Olive’s, which is at the Bellagio.”

  “I made reservations on the patio so we could watch the fountain. I’m very excited about that, and those are at seven. We should be done by nine and off to the Chippendales show at ten, and the burlesque show at eleven thirty.”

  “Yes!” She clapped her hands together. She was so excited. I was very happy for her.

  “Remind me again why we are going to Chippendales and a burlesque show?”

  “Because Chippendales is like a rite of passage for the about–to–be–married female. The burlesque show is one I really want to see, and since neither you, nor Jared, nor I are huge partiers, I thought shows and drinks were more our style. We can leave the partying to the boys. Though I warned Jeff he needed to be home at the end of the night and not end up like a scene from the movie Hangover. Plus, I want to have all day Friday to lie by the pool and relax, so I’m not tired and draggy Saturday for the wedding day.”

  “You’re right. Good thinking. Except, do you think Jeff and the guys will actually heed your warning?”

  “No, which is all the more reason to have Friday as a recoup day.”

  “Let’s run through the wedding day list one more time.”

  “Oohh, I came at just the right time,” Jared said, approaching with a smirk. “Wedding talk.”

  “Jared, you can go sit over there if you’re going to poke fun,” I said sternly. “There is a moratorium on any negative wedding talk until after Anna’s wedding.” Jared was a cynic when it came to marriage.

  “I won’t. Sorry, Anna. I was teasing. Will you forgive me if I tell you how amazing you look in that red dress?”

  “I might. How amazing do I look?”

  “Ravishing, my dahling,” he said.

  “Okay. Then you can stay, but any more comments like that and no Chippendales for you mister,” she teased.

  “Oh no! Not that! I will be good. Promise.”

  “Okay, back to the list. The wedding is Saturday at four. We have massages at noon, followed by hair and makeup over at the salon at the Bellagio where the chapel is.”

  “Wow, you girls are high maintenance.”

  “Ummm, you’re included as one of the bridesmaids,” I told him.

  “In that case, I really won’t say another word.”

  “I didn’
t think so.” We ran though a few more things, and then the guys joined us. I got a text from Jesse to come on over to the Mirage, so we headed there. Now, Harrah’s was a perfectly fine hotel, but the Mirage was absolutely beautiful. We walked to the bell desk where we were to meet Jesse and Ashley. They were both standing there waiting, and I had to admit my brother was a handsome guy. Dark hair and eyes that were a carbon copy of my dad’s. He had on Diesel jeans and a plain black fitted button–down, and he looked great. Ashley was no slouch in the looks department either, and she had great taste. A vintage wrap around Diane von Furstenberg dress, which, based on the pattern, was circa 1970s. Camel–colored wedges and matching clutch completed the outfit. She was a knockout.

  “We are so excited to be able to show you around. Come on. Follow me. We are going to the Carnige Deli for dinner.”

  “A deli? But I’m starving,” Jared said. “As in I–could–eat–five–Big–Macs starving.”

  “Oh this is a deli like no other. Trust me. You won’t go away hungry.”

  He was right. I was a sucker for a good Rueben, which at a Jewish deli seemed like the perfect thing to order, and it was. There was probably a pound of shaved corn beef on homemade sourdough at least an inch thick. I could barely eat a half and didn’t even touch the side dishes. I was annoyed my hotel room didn’t have a mini fridge. I hated not having a way to stock up on Diet Coke and would have loved to take the other half of my sandwich back for a midnight snack.

  “I may not be able to move to make it over to the show,” I said, sipping on my Diet Coke, feeling about ready to explode, and wishing my waistband was elastic.

  “Me either,” Jared said. “Jesse, I’m sorry I ever questioned your ability to pick the right place to eat. This was good food and so much of it. I may not be able to eat the rest of the time we are here.”

  “No kidding. I have a wedding dress to fit into,” Anna said. “I’m going to have to not eat again until Saturday.”

  “That’s not an option, Anna. We have Olive’s tomorrow. I’m sure you’re going to want to eat there, and the food will be so amazing we will pig out again.”