Odd Man Out

by W. W. Jacobs

alarming. She went onfor over ten minutes without taking breath, and she was just going tostart again when Mrs. Jennings stopped her.

  "He's all right," she ses. "You leave 'im alone."

  "I'm not touching 'im," ses Emma, very scornful.

  "You leave 'im alone," ses Mrs. Jennings, taking hold of Charlie's arm."I don't say things about your young man."

  Charlie Brice started as if he 'ad been shot, and twice he opened 'ismouth to speak and show Mrs. Jennings 'er mistake; but, wot with tryingto find 'is voice in the fust place, and then finding words to use itwith in the second, he didn't say anything. He just walked alonggasping, with 'is mouth open like a fish.

  "Don't take no notice of 'er, Charlie," ses Mrs. Jennings.

  "I--I don't mind wot she ses," ses pore Charlie; "but you're making agreat----"

  "She's quick-tempered, is Emma," ses Mrs. Jennings. "But, there, so amI. Wot you might call a generous temper, but quick."

  Charlie went cold all over.

  "Treat me well and I treat other people well," ses Mrs. Jennings. "Ican't say fairer than that, can I?"

  Charlie said "Nobody could," and then 'e walked along with her hanging onto 'is arm, arf wondering whether it would be wrong to shove 'er under abus that was passing, and arf wondering whether 'e could do it if itwasn't.

  "As for Emma saying she won't 'ave you for a lodger," ses Mrs. Jennings,"let 'er wait till she's asked. She'll wait a long time if I 'ave mysay."

  Charlie didn't answer her. He walked along with 'is mouth shut, his ideabeing that the least said the soonest mended. Even Emma asked 'im atlast whether he 'ad lost 'is tongue, and said it was curious 'owdifferent love took different people.

  He talked fast enough going 'ome with Ted though, and pretty near lost'is temper with 'im when Ted asked 'im why he didn't tell Mrs. Jenningsstraight that she 'ad made a mistake.

  "She knows well enough," he says, grinding 'is teeth; "she was justtrying it on. That's 'ow it is widders get married agin. You'll 'ave tochoose between going out with me or Emma, Ted. I can't face Mrs.Jennings again. I didn't think anybody could 'ave parted us like that."

  Ted said it was all nonsense, but it was no good, and the next night hewent off alone and came back very cross, saying that Mrs. Jennings 'adbeen with 'em all the time, and when 'e spoke to Emma about it she saidit was just tit for tat, and reminded 'im 'ow she had 'ad to put up withCharlie. For four nights running 'e went out for walks, with Emmaholding one of 'is arms and Mrs. Jennings the other.

  "It's miserable for you all alone 'ere by yourself; Charlie," he ses."Why not come? She can't marry you against your will. Besides, I missyou."

  Charlie shook 'ands with 'im, but 'e said 'e wouldn't walk out with Mrs.Jennings for a fortune. And all that Ted could say made no difference.He stayed indoors of an evening reading the paper, or going for littlewalks by 'imseif, until at last Ted came 'ome one evening, smiling allover his face, and told 'im they had both been making fools of themselvesfor nothing.

  "Mrs. Jennings is going to be married," he ses, clapping Charlie on theback.

  "_Wot?_" ses Charlie.

  Ted nodded. "Her and Emma 'ad words to-night," he ses, laughing, "and itall come out. She's been keeping company for some time. He's away atpresent, and they're going to be married as soon as 'e comes back."

  "Well," ses Charlie, "why did she----"

  "To oblige Emma," ses Ted, "to frighten you into staying at 'ome. I'd'ad my suspicions for some time, from one or two things I picked up."

  "Ho!" ses Charlie. "Well, it'll be my turn to laugh to-morrow night.We'll see whether she can shake me off agin."

  Ted looked at 'im a bit worried. "It's a bit orkard," he ses, speakingvery slow. "You see, they made it up arterwards, and then they both mademe promise not to tell you, and if you come, they'll know I 'ave."

  Charlie did a bit o' thinking. "Not if I pretend to make love to Mrs.Jennings?" he ses, at last, winking at 'im. "And it'll serve her rightfor being deceitful. We'll see 'ow she likes it. Wot sort o' chap isthe young man--big?"

  "Can't be," ses Ted; "cos Emma called 'im a little shrimp."

  "I'll come," ses Charlie; "and it'll be your own fault if they find outyou told me about it."

  They fell asleep talking of it, and the next evening Charlie put on a newneck-tie he 'ad bought, and arter letting Ted have arf an hour's startwent out and met 'em accidental. The fust Mrs. Jennings knew of 'isbeing there was by finding an arm put round 'er waist.

  "Good-evening, Sophy," he ses.

  "'Ow--'ow dare you?" ses Mrs. Jennings, giving a scream and pushing himaway.

  Charlie looked surprised.

  "Why, ain't you pleased to see me?" he ses. "I've 'ad the ragingtoothache for over a week; I've got it now a bit, but I couldn't stayaway from you any longer."

  "You behave yourself," ses Mrs. Jennings.

  "Ted didn't say anything about your toothache," ses Emma.

  "I wouldn't let 'im, for fear of alarming Sophy," ses Charlie.

  Mrs. Jennings gave a sort of laugh and a sniff mixed.

  "Ain't you pleased to see me agin?" ses Charlie.

  "I don't want to see you," ses Mrs. Jennings. "Wot d'ye think I want tosee you for?"

  "Change your mind pretty quick, don't you?" ses Charlie. "It's blow 'otand blow cold with you seemingly. Why, I've been counting the minutestill I should see you agin."

  Mrs. Jennings told 'im not to make a fool of 'imself, and Charlie saw 'erlook at Emma in a puzzled sort of way, as if she didn't know wot to makeof it. She kept drawing away from 'im and he kept drawing close to 'er;other people on the pavement dodging and trying to get out of their way,and asking them which side they was going and to stick to it.

  "Why don't you behave yourself?" ses Emma, at last.

  "We're all right," ses Charlie; "you look arter your own young man. Wecan look arter ourselves."

  "Speak for yourself," ses Mrs. Jennings, very sharp.

  Charlie laughed, and the more Mrs. Jennings showed 'er dislike for 'isnonsense the more he gave way to it. Even Ted thought it was going toofar, and tried to interfere when he put his arm round Mrs. Jennings'swaist and made 'er dance to a piano-organ; but there was no stopping 'im,and at last Mrs. Jennings said she had 'ad enough of it, and told Emmashe was going off 'ome.

  "He put his arm round Mrs. Jennings's waist and made 'erdance to a piano-organ."]

  "Don't take no notice of 'im," ses Emma.

  "I must," ses Mrs. Jennings, who was arf crying with rage.

  "Well, if you go 'ome, I shall go," ses Emma. "I don't want 'is company.I believe he's doing it on purpose.

  "Behave yourself, Charlie," ses Ted.

  "All right, old man," ses Charlie. "You look arter your young woman andI'll look arter mine."

  "Your wot?" ses Mrs. Jennings, very loud.

  "My young woman," ses Charlie.

  "Look 'ere," ses Emma. "You may as well know first as last--Sophy 'asgot a young man."

  "O' course she 'as," ses Charlie. "Twenty-seven on the second of nextJanuary, he is; same as me."

  "She's going to be married," ses Emma, very solemn.

  "Yes, to me," ses Charlie, pretending to be surprised. "Didn't you knowthat?"

  He looked so pleased with 'imself at his cleverness that Emma arf put upher 'and, and then she thought better of it and turned away.

  "He's just doing it to get rid of you," she ses to Mrs. Jennings, "and ifyou give way you're a bigger silly than I took you for. Let 'im go onand 'ave his own way, and tell your intended about 'im when you see 'im.Arter all, you started it."

  "I was only 'aving a bit o' fun," ses Mrs. Jennings.

  "Well, so is he," ses Emma.

  "Not me!" ses Charlie, turning his eyes up. "I'm in dead earnest; and sois she. It's only shyness on 'er part; it'll