Loved

by Rebekah Dodson

  Then finally Ellie blurted, “He ... sang? I can’t imagine Matt doing that...”

  “He’s a pretty chill dude.” Liam shrugged.

  It was Cam’s turn to gasp. “That’s ... hard to believe.”

  I could almost hear Liam shrugging them off. “Come on, I have to go find my dad anyway for the wine tasting.”

  “Oh?” Ellie perked up, “He’s the one doing it?”

  “Yeah. We had this great older guy, James, who had it down to an art. The old biddies loved him. But he quit last week ... his husband was diagnosed with cancer. The aggressive kind. James needed the time. My dad offered to rehire him if he ever needed a job.”

  “That was nice of him,” Ellie admitted.

  “Yup.”

  Their voices grew more distant now, and I moved to the back of the barn lest they see me as they exited out the big front doors.

  “So after wine tasting, Liam said we could go horseback riding...” Cam’s voice trailed off as they got farther away from the barn.

  “Yeah,” was all I heard Ellie say.

  Good, I knew where they’d be going. I wanted to avoid any of those sick Pride and Prejudice clichés, so all I had to do was avoid the horse stalls after the wine tasting and I’d be good.

  I peeked around the corner and watched them go. Cam’s arm was pulled through Liam’s and she hung on him like a clingy high school girlfriend even though she was clearly in her thirties. I rolled my eyes. I pulled my phone into my hand. First thing’s first, however. Get Liam to stay away from Cam and her tricky siren ways. The last thing I needed was for my one son to get entangled with an older woman that didn’t understand he had a whole future in front of him.

  Chapter 7

  Ellie

  MATT MOSTLY FUMBLED his way through the wine tasting. Barely forty people showed up, as Liam explained a lot of the residents had gone shopping in Portland, and a shuttle had taken even more to hike out at Multnomah Falls. The inn was now booked to capacity, and Grant was busy answering calls all day turning people away.

  “It’s a very popular time of year,” Liam said as we walked back up to the inn. “Last week we had all the teachers up here for back to school, now we have five more wedding between now and Christmas. One of them is hoping for a white wedding, but in the sixteen years I’ve lived here it’s only snowed twice, and it didn’t last long.”

  “You’ve lived here since you were three?” Cam asked.

  “Yeah, but my mom didn’t take it over from her father until a few years before she died. He dropped dead of a heart attack when I was thirteen.”

  “I’m sorry,” I offered.

  He shrugged. “It’s okay.” He kicked some rocks ahead of him. His voice sounded pain-filled, so I didn’t press it. I couldn’t imagine losing his grandfather and his mom so close together. He’d seemed to adjust well, however. His phone began to ring, and he flipped it into his hand. “Hey, Dad. Yeah. I’ll be right there, just showing Cam and her friend around.” He paused. “Oh, okay. That’s fine. Yeah, I’ll tell them.”

  His face fell as he looked at us. “You guys better get to the wine tasting; my dad wants me to me to check on the dinner service.”

  Cam frowned. “That’s weird, dinner’s like five hours away.”

  “It’s cool. I’ll meet you at the horse trails that way,” he pointed, “at three, does that work?”

  Cam kissed him on the cheek, much to my surprise. “I can’t wait,” she whispered to him.

  Liam waved goodbye and jogged on ahead of us up to the Inn.

  It was Cam’s turn to grab my arm. I let her.

  “Cam, you better be careful,” I urged. “Liam’s young...”

  She sighed and twisted a braid around her finger. “I know, but he’s just so, like, bright about stuff. He’s smart and he knows food better than anyone I’ve ever met.”

  “Doesn’t change that he’s nineteen.”

  Cam dropped my arm. “And been with plenty of women, okay, so he’s not naïve.”

  I just stared at her. “Women? Where? In high school? Use your brain, Cam.”

  “Whatever,” she huffed and stalked away from me. “Let’s get our drink on.”

  I followed her up to the inn.

  Despite Matt’s errors over the wine – confusing the Cabernet for the Moscato – and repeating “oaky flavors” a few thousand times, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

  Except me. I was slowly becoming miserable. Cam wouldn’t talk about where she’d hid my phone, and I finally gave up harassing her over it. I felt stupid anxious wondering about the office. I’d even excused myself during lunch to go call the hospital from Grant’s desk and left a message for Harrison to call the inn and gave him my room number. I chewed my nails through lunch and then fidgeted the whole way down to the barn, where Liam had suggested exploring after lunch.

  Cam was crazy if she thought I was getting on a horse this afternoon, though. When Liam suggested it Cam had jumped to impress him, though I knew she’d never been on a horse in her life. This was a disaster in the making, but I didn’t have any choice because she was holding my phone hostage.

  She didn’t have any idea why I didn’t want to get on the horse, however. The truth was, I was actually a proficient equestrian, but I hadn’t ridden since the divorce. Just another thing that changed when I did, I guessed.

  To make matters worse, I got the feeling that Matt was now actively ignoring me. When we all approached the table to taste the different samples, he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. He even turned to Cam first to offer her a small flute. Cam was so excited and glossy-eyed about the whole thing with Liam she basically forgot I existed, too.

  Then, she disappeared.

  Not even a word where she was going. I just turned around and she was gone.

  “Cam?” I whispered to the people milling about. I searched the room for her gold and brown braids. She wasn’t an easy or quiet person to miss.

  Cam was just gone.

  “Well, shit,” I announced to no one in particular.

  “Merlot, ma’am?” A waitress with a silver platter approached me with flutes of wine. Her name tag read “Savannah.”

  “Yes, thanks,” I said. I’d only had about three sips of wine, and two of something called hard cider, which I rather liked. This full flute of merlot I downed in one swallow. I was fast on the way to being drunk and it was only two-thirty in the afternoon.

  What the hell was I supposed to do without Cam around? This whole trip was her idea to begin with. I tossed a look to Matt, who was talking to the bride to be and groom couple from last night. He was smiling and talking with his hands, which I knew meant not to bother him. Not like he’d given me the time of day this afternoon anyway.

  Then something hit me. My phone! With Cam gone, I could sneak up to our room and search for it. I knew she wasn’t stupid enough to take it out of our room, and she never carried a purse, so it was likely between the mattresses or something. I raced up the stairs two at a time and reached our room in no time.

  I was so lost in my thoughts ticking off where I would search first, and I neglected to hear the moaning from the bedroom area. The door was shut firmly, but I froze in the open doorway to the living area and couldn’t make my legs engage.

  “Oh, Liam!”

  More moans.

  “Cam, Cam, Cam...”

  Oh my God. Sometimes I hated my best friend. She had wasted no time taking that boy to bed. Man, I reminded myself, he is an adult. But he was nineteen!

  But seriously? In our hotel room? You’ve got to be kidding me. Didn’t that kid have his own place they could have gone back to? Ugh!

  This was Cam we were talking about, and it made no difference to her when, where, and who. I knew that. It was a risk I was talking coming up here.

  As much as I wanted to search for my phone, hearing them... yeah... was disgusting, and I had no intention of intruding or making my presence known.

  I shut the door behind me and re
turned to the wine tasting... I suddenly had the need to get a bad taste out of my mouth.

  When I returned to the dining room, however, I realized the event was pretty much over. The only people left in the dining room were a couple of wait staff cleaning up empty glasses and appetizer plates, and two patrons who were purchasing bottles of wine at the end of the reception table.

  Matt was nowhere to be seen; not that I was looking for him. Could I, should I, even rat out Cam? I mean, Matt would probably be livid. His temper had always been bad, and I had no desire to spark that. We fought like crazy after we got married, and his anger was a catalyst to our divorce.

  No, avoiding Matt was a great idea at this point.

  I decided to snag a bottle of water from the vending machine down the hall and go for a run. I was still in my yoga gear after all, and the fall afternoon weather was still crisp and cool. Anything to clear my head at this point.

  TURNS OUT RUNNING ON gravel isn’t very smart, and the rough walking paths through the vineyard were even worse. I wandered the grounds for an hour, trying to not think about all the emails and texts and phone calls I was missing. Shelly would be frantic I hadn’t checked on my cat, and my assistant would have my head. Ugh. Why did Cam have to take my phone?

  I wondered idly if Henry would try to contact me. No, that’s over, for sure, I told myself, though I felt my heart pinch at the thought. Sleeping with his nurse? Just my luck.

  Good riddance, I tried to tell myself, but it didn’t hurt any less.

  My run turned into a walk, and I ended up at the stables just beyond the barn where Liam had taken us earlier a little after four. Horses couldn’t talk back, and they were good company. It was hard to believe that I had been out here for an hour. Needless to say, the fall air had cleared the alcohol out of my system, and I felt more level headed.

  There was an all-black gelding and a painted mare at the far end stalls, but name plaques for four more horses told me there were some out for the day.

  Well, at least if Cam wanted to go riding, I’d be off the leash with only two horses available.

  That is, if she ever gets done with that other type of riding...

  Gross, I thought, I don’t want to think about that.

  At least one of us was getting their money’s worth, right?

  In the corner of the stable I found a basket of apples. I remembered seeing an orchard on our way up the winding road to the inn; I wondered if it was part of Matt’s property or not. The idea of picking apples and baking a pie appealed to me. I had no idea how to bake of course, and I don’t think I’d ever cored an apple in my life, but I’d give it a try. For all Cam’s cooking expertise, why was I still so bad at it?

  I decided when we got home I would ask for her cooking lessons.

  “Maybe Henry would have stayed if I’d cooked for him,” I told the gelding as I fed him an apple. The brass nameplate above his stall read “Midnight.” I smiled. Creative. “Okay, Midnight, what do you think about me learning to cook? Think I can do it?”

  To my surprise, he whinnied and threw his head back as if he was nodding to me. The familiar stall scents and the coarse feel of Midnight’s mane took me back, and not in a good way. As the nostalgia wrapped around me, I realized I needed out of here, and fast.

  “Remind you of your father’s farm when you were a kid, huh?”

  It was Matt, leaning against the far end of the stable.

  “So now you’re talking to me,” I mused, still rubbing Midnight’s nose.

  He didn’t answer but sauntered toward me. He gave the paint a hearty pat on the nose. “Red here is gentler than Midnight, you know. If you were thinking of riding.”

  “What if I was?”

  He turned to me. “I’d tell you we have a policy about not going alone. Hence why I own six horses.”

  “Daddy taught you well.”

  “He did.” His eyes flashed at me. “Tell me, do the people at the hospital know you grew up in a small town in central Washington on a ranch?”

  I chuckled and shook my head. “No, they certain do not. I keep quiet about that.”

  He changed the subject on me. “And how’s your dad?”

  I gulped. I cursed to myself for not realizing he would ask that. “He, uh, passed. Last year. Heart attack.”

  Without answering, Matt pulled me into a hug. I realized I was crying. I’d been alone at the time. And I hadn’t cried.

  I pressed my face into Matt’s sweater. He smelled of wine, hay, and strawberries. And ... Old Spice. He still used Old Spice? An odd combination, but it kind of reminded me of spiked cider. It was comforting.

  “My mom didn’t even make the funeral,” I sobbed.

  My mom had left him when I was in second grade and lived somewhere outside Atlanta. She sent me a Christmas card every year. It didn’t surprise me she didn’t bother to make arrangements.

  “What about Cam?” he asked, his arms still wrapped tightly around me.

  “Catering conference in Sacramento.”

  “I see.” He released me and took a step back. Running a hand over his face, he sighed and reached for a saddle on the wall. “I promised him I wouldn’t do this, but it seems like I have no choice.”

  I blinked at him. “Huh?”

  He shook his head. “Never mind.” He opened Red’s stall. “Come on, Ellie, we’re going for a ride.”

  “Oh, no I don’t ride. I haven’t since ...” I trailed off. He knew.

  Nodding, he continued to saddle the paint. “Yeah, I don’t care about all that. You need a ride, and you can’t go alone. Vineyard rules.” He hooked his thumb behind me, and I turned to see a white sign on the wall: “Patrons must use horses in pairs and are limited to rides of no more than two hours.”

  There was something about Matt’s quiet insistence that finally persuaded me. The old Matt would have screamed at me and forced me to do what he wanted until he was red in the face. This man was something completely different, an enigma of his old self. I was curious – was it just a charade or was he really a changed man? And if he was, how did this happen?

  Matt held the bit and reins for me as he led Red out of the stall. “I’ll take Midnight,” he agreed.

  “Are you sure you can handle him?” I smiled. I took the reins. “I can take the gelding if you want...”

  “Midnight doesn’t always like girls.”

  “And what about women?”

  He just smiled at me and started saddling the gelding. “Believe me, Ellie, I know you’re a woman. I saw you in the downward facing dog position this morning, remember?”

  I could feel my cheeks heat. “You were watching me?”

  Saddle firmly latched, Matt snatched the bridle bit from the wall and tossed it over Midnight’s head. “Haven’t you realized since last night I’m usually watching you?” He led Midnight out of the stall and to the end of the stable. Out in the sunlight, he mounted him with one fell swoop. “Even though you might be the death of me, woman.”

  I mounted Red equally easy and eased my legs into the stirrups. I had to admit it felt good to have a horse under me again. I urged my heels into Red’s side gently, spurring her into a walk. Matt did the same.

  “This is no fun, we need to let them run.”

  I threw him a look.

  “Fine, a canter then.”

  I spurred Red a little faster, and Matt made Midnight catch up. I let him take a little lead, as he knew the property better. We wound down a little path away from the stable that took us out on the main road past the orchard.

  “Is this part of your property, too?” I asked. I suddenly felt shy; like this was a blind date, a first date. There was so little I knew about this Matt. Why was I nervous? I’d not only seen him naked numerous times, but I also knew he had a mole on the underside of his —

  “Yes,” he said, ripping me out of my thoughts. “I bought all the property on three sides. I own a good four hundred acres or so.”

  I whistled. “Wow, that’s prett
y good. And you make the Shuri Moscato here?”

  “No, the Shuri brand is actually made off site at a winery in Oregon. They process the grapes we grow, and then I sell it to distributors for a profit.”

  I wanted to ask him if it was as profitable as being a lawyer, but that would have been too nosey and probably a little rude. Instead, I changed the subject. Probably because I couldn’t get Cam’s current activities out of my head. “So, um, Liam is Shuri’s son? And he took your name?”

  “Yes; when Shuri and I got married, she agreed we’d all be in this together, but it was really Liam’s decision. He never had a dad growing up, and he was fourteen at the time.” He chuckled and his voice grew a little distant. “He was more than excited to say the least.”

  “Never had a dad...” I mused to myself. Kids had never come up with Matt and I when we were married. We both had careers and figured it would happen ‘at some point.’ I thought it was interesting Matt skipped directly to the hardest child to raise: a teenager. “I wonder if it’s anything like not having a mom?”

  Matt winced. “I don’t know. But you misunderstand – Liam literally never had a dad. Shuri was much older than me; she was fifty-four when she passed.”

  I just blinked at him. Matt’s wife had been twenty years his senior? “Really?”

  “She sure was. Still young, though. You would have never known. She was as spry as a twenty-year-old. She did yoga every morning and had more energy than Liam and I put together. But anyway – when Shuri was forty or so she got a donor. Had Liam all by herself, raised him out here since he was a baby. And Liam’s a great kid. Shuri did well.”

  I nodded, but really didn’t want to talk about Liam anymore. “What happened to her? Your wife, I mean?” I gasped a little. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

  He looked at me and pulled the reins to slow Midnight. I did the same with Red, and we let them go at their own pace as we reached the end of the orchard. “She, uh, died. Cancer. A year after we were married.”