Amelia Bedelia Means Business

by Herman Parish

  Suzanne had woven red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet crepe paper into the spokes of her wheels. When they went around, the colors revolved in a spiral into the center of the wheel. It looked like a swirling rainbow. Suzanne had glued glittery stars in the center of both wheels. Amelia Bedelia was so dizzy she had to look away! Was Suzanne trying to hypnotize the judges into voting for her? There were also rainbow-colored streamers flowing out of the ends of her handlebars, tiny flags, bunting made out of little paper unicorns, and jingle bells hanging everywhere.

  On the bright side, Amelia Bedelia was glad that she had not wasted her time trying to compete with Suzanne. Maybe Suzanne would toss her the not-new-anymore bike as she rode away on her brand-new bike.

  The poster in the bike shop had not mentioned that there was a pet parade, too. Amelia Bedelia could see cats, rabbits, goldfish, guinea pigs, snakes, mice, and dogs, dogs, and more dogs!

  Another thing the poster hadn’t mentioned was that Wild Bill was the celebrity judge of the bike contest! He was riding with the mayor and Miss Individuality in one of his convertibles at the front of the parade. Now Amelia Bedelia was doubly glad that she hadn’t tried to win—Wild Bill would never pick her in a million years.

  She peeked under the bright yellow dish towel in her bike basket. There were her lemon tarts, all ready to hand out to people in the crowd as she rode by.

  Soon it was time for the parade to begin. The non-dog pets followed the convertible, then came the dogs, then the kids on their bikes. The crowd cheered and clapped for all of the marchers. When Amelia Bedelia pedaled past her parents, they clapped loudest of all. “Hooray for Tart Tarts!” her dad yelled.

  Amelia Bedelia waved, blushed, and pretended not to know them.

  Then it started. Maybe it was triggered by her dad yelling “tart tarts”! As Amelia Bedelia pedaled by one of the dogs, it turned and looked straight at her. It put its nose in the air and sniffed. Then it began to wag its tail and bark. And bark. And BARK!

  Amelia Bedelia recognized that dog. It was one of the dogs Diana had been walking. And it had loved the taste of her lemon tarts.

  Suddenly a dog on the other side of the street started barking. Uh-oh. It had tasted her tarts, too. As Amelia Bedelia rode on, dogs started sniffing, wagging, barking, and straining at their leashes, trying to get as close as possible to her.

  Amelia Bedelia peeked in her bike basket. No wonder these dogs were barking. The basket was filled with tasty tart tarts, and they smelled delicious. Amelia Bedelia decided then and there that this would be the perfect time to give out her tarts. If she passed them out now, maybe the dogs would leave her alone. She also decided that she would never listen to her father ever again. Pedaling tarts? Ha, ha! Very funny, Dad!

  “Come back here, Bruno!”

  Amelia Bedelia looked behind her. Bruno had broken away and was running to catch up with her.

  “Someone grab my dog!”

  Another dog had broken away. Amelia Bedelia pedaled faster.

  “Lucky! Stop! Stay!”

  And another. And another.

  “Hey, grab that leash!”

  It seemed as though all the dogs in town were chasing Amelia Bedelia and her tart tarts. Maybe it was because they didn’t want to miss out on a treat. Or maybe this was how dogs celebrated their spirit of individuality. Or maybe they just loved Amelia Bedelia.

  She was weaving in and out of the other bicycles and marchers. She pedaled as fast as she could on her old bike, with her lemon head bobbing wildly.

  “Faster!” yelled Suzanne, who had seen what was happening. She rode behind Amelia Bedelia, swerving back and forth, trying to keep the dogs away. Several of Amelia Bedelia’s friends from school pedaled up and tried to help, too.

  “Go, Amelia Bedelia!” yelled Joy.

  “Faster!” called Chip.

  Tweet! Tweet! There was the policeman from the park. He blew his whistle at Amelia Bedelia and held up his hand to signal her to STOP! Amelia Bedelia glanced over her shoulder. She had never seen so many dogs! She reached into her basket, pulled out a tart, and put it in the policeman’s hand as she sped by. He blew his whistle even louder. She looked back and saw a dog leap through the air. It grabbed the tart right out of the policeman’s hand, like a porpoise snatching a sardine from a sailor. The policeman stared at his hand and counted. “One, two, three, four, five!” All of his fingers were present and accounted for. “Whew!”

  Amelia Bedelia saw Pete and Doris up ahead. She reached into her basket and handed them tarts as she pedaled by.

  “Eat them quick or—” she warned.

  Pete and Doris were too slow.

  A pair of poodles leaped up and—GULP! GULP!—those tarts were history.

  Amelia Bedelia had almost reached the head of the parade. There were still dogs everywhere. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she knew she had to get rid of her tarts! She rode in a loop-de-loop pattern. Then in a circle. Then she headed back the way she had come. Everyone was following her—dogs, their owners, and all of the kids on their decorated bikes. Amelia Bedelia handed out tarts left and right. Some folks actually got a taste!

  As Amelia Bedelia rode past the convertible, she tossed her tarts to the celebrities. Miss Individuality caught hers with one slender white-gloved hand. The mayor used both hands. Wild Bill was waving his cowboy hat at the crowd as though he was riding a bronco instead of riding in a car. Amelia Bedelia tossed her last tart right into his hat. Bull’s-eye!

  Amelia Bedelia had run out of tarts just as she had run out of parade. But the dogs were still chasing her. The air was full of their barking. Then it dawned on Amelia Bedelia that her bike looked like a huge dog treat. Even worse, the words “Try a Bite!” were printed on her back. These dogs were pretty smart. Could any of them read? Amelia Bedelia promised herself that if she survived today, she’d never have anything to do with signs again.

  Amelia Bedelia had to keep moving. She circled around and pulled up behind Wild Bill’s convertible. She jumped off her bike and let it clatter to the ground. Miss Individuality helped her climb into the backseat of the car. Amelia Bedelia ripped the enormous tart off her shirt and threw it to the dogs. They had a blast tearing it apart, howling with happiness all the while.

  Amelia Bedelia slid down onto the seat next to Wild Bill. He took one look at the giant lemon bobbing on her head and said, “Not you again!”

  Woof! Woof! Woof! The dogs were barking and drooling and circling the convertible.

  “Get us out of Dodge!” yelled Wild Bill to the driver.

  The driver put the car in reverse and backed up.

  The screeching of metal being dragged across pavement brought the entire parade to a halt.

  “What was that?” asked Wild Bill.

  “That,” said Amelia Bedelia, her eyes brimming with tears, “was my bike.”

  If you’ve ever wondered what utter chaos and confusion, mass mayhem, and perfect pandemonium would look like—well, this was it. Barking dogs darted back and forth, and kids on bikes swerved around one another and around pets of all shapes and sizes. The crowd clapped and cheered, cars honked their horns, the policeman blew his whistle . . . all, you might say, in the spirit of individuality.

  The mayor managed to make his way to the grandstand. This was where, on every special occasion, he had given a speech to his calm, quiet, peaceful town.

  Diana bounded up the stairs onto the grandstand. “Excuse me, Mr. Mayor,” she called out as she rushed to the microphone. She blew her whistle with all her might, but mysteriously, there was no sound.

  All of a sudden, every dog in town froze. Their ears went straight up, and they all turned to look at her. Then they put their tails between their legs, and every single one of them slowly slunk back to its owner.

  The car horns stopped honking. The guinea pigs and rabbits and parrots stopped chattering. The kids on their bikes settled down. Everyone was quiet except for the policeman.

  He kept blowing his whi
stle over and over again until the mayor tapped on the microphone, then said, “Officer O’Brien? Shhhhhhhhhhhh.”

  At last, a perfect silence descended upon the entire town. Everyone moved closer to the grandstand to hear what the mayor had to say.

  The mayor cleared his throat. “I’m not sure what happened here today,” he said. “But it looks like one person is responsible. Would Amelia Bedelia please come up here?”

  When Amelia Bedelia heard the mayor say her name, she wanted to climb into the glove compartment and curl up into a little ball. But she didn’t. Wild Bill opened the car door for her and walked beside her to the grandstand.

  “If it’s any consolation,” he whispered gruffly as they walked along, “I think you make one mean lemon tart, little lady.”

  “I didn’t make it to be mean,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I made it to apologize.”

  “Apology accepted,” said Wild Bill.

  Amelia Bedelia wasn’t sure what to do. Her tarts had caused this. She was to blame. What if the mayor made her pay to clean up the mess? Because there certainly was a big mess. Then she would never have enough money to get a new bike. And now she couldn’t even jump on her old bike and escape. Her bike, her first sweet, wonderful, one-and-only bike was flatter than a chocolate brownie pancake.

  She was too tired to escape, anyway. Besides, it’s tough to blend in with a giant lemon stuck on your head. Her parents met her at the steps to the grandstand. Her dad gave her a thumbs-up. Her mom took off the big lemon helmet. Amelia Bedelia trudged up the stairs to meet the mayor and her doom.

  The mayor shook her parents’ hands. Then he brought Amelia Bedelia forward to stand next to him at the microphone.

  “I was born and raised here,” he said. “So I can safely say that this town has seen more excitement in the past fifteen minutes than it has in the past fifty years. As your mayor, I want to say that that is a good thing. When it comes to excitement, Amelia Bedelia means business!”

  People in the crowd began to nod their heads in agreement. Amelia Bedelia could hear kids from school screaming and hollering and whistling. She could see Suzanne smiling and Joy and Holly and Clay laughing and smiling together. Everyone knew that they would talk about this day for years to come.

  Then Wild Bill stepped forward to the microphone, his hat in his hand. “Mr. Mayor, everyone in town knows that I’ve had my differences with this little lady. However, I’ve come to admire her spirit. She does things her own way. If something goes wrong, she bounces back and tries again. As far as I’m concerned, no one captures the spirit of individuality better than Amelia Bedelia. I declare her to be the winner of the bicycle contest!” As the crowd cheered, Wild Bill bent down to say to her, “I believe you could use a new bike. Am I right?”

  Amelia Bedelia nodded and smiled and waved to the crowd. As the clapping died down, Wild Bill reached into his hat and pulled out the lemon tart Amelia Bedelia had tossed in. “And best of all,” he said, “everyone in town should know that Amelia Bedelia makes one tasty lemon tart!” Wild Bill popped the tart into his mouth and wolfed it down in one bite. The crowd roared its approval again.

  Amelia Bedelia looked over at her mom and dad and could only mouth the word “Thanks” because of all the cheering.

  On her first day back at school, Amelia Bedelia proudly locked her new bike to the bike rack. It was the same exact model as Suzanne’s bike, but it was ruby red instead of emerald green. Amelia Bedelia loved it.

  Suzanne rode up to the bike rack. But something was different. She wasn’t smiling the way she had been after the parade. Then Amelia Bedelia got a good look at her bike. It was a wreck. It was in worse shape than Amelia Bedelia’s old bike after it had been run over by the convertible.

  Suzanne parked right next to Amelia Bedelia.

  “What happened, Suzi?” asked Amelia Bedelia.

  “I left my bike in the driveway,” she said. “My mom didn’t see it when she went to work, and she drove right over it. Her car got dinged up, too. I’ve never seen her that mad. She was jumping up and down and dancing around in the driveway!”

  Amelia Bedelia tried not to laugh.

  “It’s not funny,” said Suzanne. “My mom told me that I’m going to have to help pay for the damages. She said she would meet me halfway, though.”

  “I’ve been there,” said Amelia Bedelia. “And I can tell you all about getting a job. Hey! I need someone to deliver my tarts. I’ll lend you my bike, and pay you.”

  Suzanne smiled. At first it was just a tiny smile, but then it grew bigger and bigger. Amelia Bedelia put her arm around Suzanne’s shoulder, and she smiled, too. Then they walked into school together.

  Excerpt from Amelia Bedelia Chapter Book #2: Amelia Bedelia Unleashed

  It certainly seemed like it was going to be another normal evening at Amelia Bedelia’s house. Amelia Bedelia’s mother was whirling around the kitchen, stirring, boiling, steaming, broiling, and tasting. Supper was almost ready. Something, however, was amiss.

  For one thing, Amelia Bedelia’s father was sound asleep in his favorite chair. He was usually a big help in the kitchen. But he had looked so tired after work that Amelia Bedelia’s mother had suggested that he take a little nap. For another thing, the dining room table wasn’t set.

  “Amelia Bedelia,” said her mother, “have you set the table yet?”

  Amelia Bedelia glanced up from her homework with a look that said, Whoops! I forgot! Then she jumped up to get the silverware.

  “Remember the napkins!” her mother called.

  “I do!” yelled Amelia Bedelia. “They’re dark blue with little white flowers!”

  “That’s right,” her mother said.“Please remember to put them out for us.”

  “I’ll do that now,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “Thanks, sweetie,” said her mother. “Do we need glasses?”

  “Not yet,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Only Dad wears them.”

  “Right again,” said her mother. “I’ll get you some water glasses to put out on the table.”

  “Oh,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I already got those glasses.”

  “Did you fill them?” asked her mother.

  “I sure did,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother peeked at the dining room table. Amelia Bedelia always did just what she was told to do, so every glass was filled right to the brim. Amelia Bedelia’s mother smiled and shook her head.

  “Good job, sweetie,” she said. “Now please take about a tablespoon of water out of each glass. Otherwise, we’ll spill and make a mess.”

  “Okay,” said Amelia Bedelia. She spooned some water out of her parents’ glasses. Then she put her lips on the edge of her glass and . . .

  SLURP!

  “What’s that noise?” called Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “That was me,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Who did you think it was?”

  “If I didn’t know better,” said her mother, “I could have sworn it was a dog drinking out of a bowl.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t swear,” said Amelia Bedelia. “You always tell me not to swear. And I’m not a dog.”

  About the Author and Illustrator

  HERMAN PARISH was in the fourth grade when his aunt, Peggy Parish, wrote the first book about Amelia Bedelia. The author lives in Princeton, New Jersey.

  LYNNE AVRIL has illustrated all the stories about young Amelia Bedelia. The artist lives in Phoenix, Arizona, and she loves to visit Paris, France.

  www.ameliabedeliabooks.com

  For exclusive information on your favorite authors and artists, visit www.AuthorTracker.com.

  Two Ways to Say It

  Copyright

  Gouache and black pencil were used to prepare the black-and-white art.

  Amelia Bedelia is a registered trademark of Peppermint Partners, LLC.

  Amelia Bedelia Means Business. Text copyright © 2013 by Herman S. Parish III. Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Lynne Avril. All rights reserved unde
r International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Parish, Herman.

  Amelia Bedelia means business / by Herman Parish ; illustrated in black-and-white by Lynne Avril.

  p. cm.

  “Greenwillow Books.”

  Summary: “Young Amelia Bedelia will do almost anything for a shiny new bicycle. Her parents say they’ll split the cost with her, and that means Amelia Bedelia needs to put the pedal to the metal and earn some dough! With Amelia Bedelia anything can happen, and it usually does.”—Provided by publisher.

  ISBN 978-0-06-209497-1 (hardback)—ISBN 978-0-06-209496-4 (pbk. ed.)

  ISBN 978-0-06-227054-2 (pob)

  Epub Edition © DECEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780062094988

  [1. Moneymaking projects—Fiction. 2. Humorous stories.] I. Avril, Lynne, (date) ill. II. Title.

  PZ7.P2185Apm 2013 [Fic]—dc23 2012024392

  12 13 14 15 16 17 CG/BR 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 First Edition

  Greenwillow Books

  About the Publisher

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  HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.