Soldiers of Fame and Fortune Full Series Omnibus: Nobody’s Fool, Nobody Lives Forever, Nobody Drinks That Much, Nobody Remembers But Us, Ghost Walking, 12 Book series...

by Michael Todd

  The guy slammed his drink and got up, dropping a bill on the bar. “I’m gonna go back to the room. I’ll see you guys later.”

  Holly smiled at the tobacco chewer as he walked past her. His friend sighed and pushed his glass forward as JB pulled the brandy off the shelf. “He gets angry when our guys die. He may seem heartless, but he loved that kid. Never seen him take anyone under his wing like that. Made us bring his tags and his gear back. I’ll send the stuff to his family back in the States. His body we left to the Zoo, as it should be.”

  JB nodded solemnly. “We all got our ways of dealing with death. God knows we’ve all seen enough of it for a lifetime.”

  He slid the liquor back on the shelf and meandered down to Holly. She began to intensely study her nails. He smirked. He knew full well she’d been listening. “So, you have any plans today besides sitting around in this old dusty place?”

  Holly looked up, startled. “Are you talking to me?” She feigned surprise. “Oh, no. Actually, I was kinda wondering what was up with the story? I mean, not to push, but that’s why I’m here.”

  JB put his hand to his chest. “You mean, you didn’t just come here to look at my pretty face?”

  Paula laughed from the service bar. “She actually came here to look at my pretty face. I guess you can believe otherwise if you want. Whatever pleases your little black heart.”

  Two guys sitting near Holly chuckled. The one closest to Holly showed her his missing teeth in a wide smile. “We hate to break it to you, but we’re pretty sure she came here to see us. A good man’s hard to find, so we made it easy for her.”

  Holly giggled, but JB narrowed his eyes at them. “I don’t think so, Butch, but that was a nice try.”

  Holly put up her hands defensively. “The truth is I came here for all of you, but most importantly, I come for the stories.”

  JB gave her a strange look. “Why do I have a feeling you know where you want this story to go?”

  “I was hoping to hear about the guy who got drunk to go into the Zoo.”

  Toothless Butch laughed, banging his knuckles on the wood. “Well, good Lord, that’s like half the fucking town. Is he dead?”

  “Oh, yeah. Not around anymore.”

  The guy rubbed his chin. “That narrows it down by about a half of a percent. Let’s see, there’s David The Dead, Eddie The Eaten, and my personal favorite, Melvin the Munched.”

  His friend put up a finger in a professorial manner. “And don’t forget Jacob the Jilted.”

  Butch cringed. “Yeah, we try to forget him. He had some strange fascination with one of the monkeys out there. The thing ended up killing him and feeding his bits to a man-eating plant. People can get damn weird out here.”

  Holly wrinkled her nose. “That sounds terrible. But the monkey wouldn’t be the first to feed his love toy to a man-eating plant—figuratively of course.”

  Butch’s friend snapped his fingers. “What was the name of that one guy? The one who set up a religious shrine every time he went out?”

  Butch smacked his hand on the bar and started laughing. “The Lord Is My Shepherd Larry. Oh, hell, I forgot all about him. For real, now. Every time he went out he had a full-on crucifix. Had him some candles, a folding table, you name it. After he bought it, they said they found the crucifix with half the body of Christ eaten off it. You believe that? Everybody told him Jesus doesn’t want nothing to do with the Zoo. Guess he learned that lesson.”

  JB snickered. “Sounds like an experience I had as a kid.”

  Holly giggled. “Oh, to be a fly on that wall!”

  JB crossed his arms. “No, trust me. You would have a whole different opinion about me then. Or maybe not. Who knows what the city girl thinks of us wild dogs?”

  Paula passed behind Holly. “Probably the same as me. You’re all worthless, and we should keep you here in this town. With me as your queen, of course.”

  JB snapped a towel at her. “Okay, Your Majesty, get back to work.”

  Paula stuck her tongue out at him as she hurried off. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming, Rod, hold your fucking dick. Actually, I take that back. Last time you almost caused a riot.”

  Holly’s eyes grew wide looking at JB. “So, you have anyone fitting my description in mind?”

  JB pursed his lips, thinking. “Actually, I have a feeling I know who you’re talking about. Let me guess, you heard some Rambo story about a guy who would drink before he went into the Zoo?”

  Holly nodded. “Yeah, this French guy told me a story when I was on my way over. He couldn’t remember the name. Sounded insane, but he only had bits and pieces of the thing. I didn’t realize that there would be so many different drunk mercs stumbling through the death jungle. I thought perhaps there was a bit more reason to the place, but here I go leaning out the window with my assumptions again.”

  JB pointed at Holly. “There you go. No, most people drink because they can’t handle the feelings the thick stirs up. Sometimes the adrenaline and the fear are just too much. Unfortunately, they are sucked into the life. They don’t see any way out. However, I don’t think that’s the case if we’re talking about the same person.”

  “Okay, give it to me. Even if it isn’t him, sounds like he has a story to be told.”

  “You want to hear about Jens Schulze. He was over in the German sector for most of his time here, but he came to the French side when it became too hard for him to get into the Zoo. They have some pretty strict rules over there and don’t like reckless behavior. Not anymore, anyway. A while ago, a group of German soldiers thought it would be a bright idea to get wasted and go running through the Zoo without suits. Took forty men to track down the few who didn’t die.”

  Holly wrinkled her nose. “God, those idiots. Even wasted, I don’t think I would make that mistake.”

  JB tilted his head. “That’s the thing. Many people, after going in and coming back unscathed, feel like they are bulletproof. Like there is nothing in the world that can touch them.”

  Holly nodded. “I guess I wouldn’t know how that feels. Okay, so who is this Jens Schulze? Why the hell is he popping into your mind when we talk about drunkenly fighting in the Zoo?”

  JB smiled. “Jens Schulze—what an interesting guy. The more he drank, the better he got. His aim. His focus. Everything was cranked up to eleven. When that sweet nectar hit his system, he dialed in. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Holly shook her head. “If I drink too much, I’m lucky to be able to take a piss without falling off the toilet.”

  JB pulled a stool from underneath the counter and slowly sat down. Holly looked around the bar and noticed that almost everyone had become silent. It was obvious that those in that room knew exactly who Jens was, and it seemed to her that his story wasn’t told very often.

  She looked back at JB. “Looks like you’ve got an audience.”

  JB chuckled. “Well, it’s not often we say that name. Some don’t think he should be considered a legend, but personally, I don’t see any way around it. Some men can’t take down an animal completely sober with a gun in each hand. Jens could fight with a weapon in one hand and a bottle in the other.”

  Holly imagined that and laughed. “I would take my own eye out, then get eaten by whatever was chasing me.”

  “Most people would, but not Jens. He was a brilliant drunk. Now, he wasn’t an alcoholic by any means. When he was in town, he knew how to control himself. He had limits. But one fateful day in the jungle he learned that he could use liquor as…how can I put this? Let’s say booze was his version of Popeye’s spinach. He was a funny guy, always joking around, but he definitely had confidence in himself. Especially after he started kicking ass. Watching him during one of his fights was like witnessing a real-life superhero.”

  Holly was confused. “What about hangovers? Like, what if he kicked all this ass and then came down but was still in the Zoo? What then?”

  Toothless Butch raised his drink in the air. “You won’t get a hangover
if you just keep drinking! Re-tox before you detox.”

  Everyone cheered and raised their glasses. Holly laughed and shrugged. She raised hers along with them. “I guess you’re right. Kind of like when I was in college—the frat guys would have a party, get hammered, then wake up the next morning and drink a six-pack. They were fighting the hangover, or at least covering it up.”

  JB cringed. “That does not sound healthy for your liver.”

  Toothless pumped his fist. “That sounds like pure fucking brilliance to me. I bet those boys are fucking CEOs now.”

  Holly scoffed. “Yeah, who beat their wives and barely know their kids’ faces. Sure, really good guys.”

  JB smiled. “Now, now, don’t get all offended.”

  Holly took a gulp of her drink. “Not offended. Just disgusted. Back to this Jens fellow. You say it made him a beast, like something out of this world. But what exactly did it do? Loosen his inhibitions? Did he just get lucky?”

  JB rubbed his hands together. “Now, that’s what I was thinking when I first started hearing about him. I thought the guy was a loose cannon and the alcohol just made him looser. Kind of like a drunk driver. The other car’s driver usually gets fucked up, but the drunk driver survives. That’s because their bodies are loose and they don’t clench or freeze up out of fear. But as time passed, I saw that that wasn’t the case with Jens. He was quick-witted too, no alcohol brain fog in that head of his.”

  Holly thought about it for a second. “Maybe there was something in his body that counteracted it.”

  “Maybe. All I know is the liquor affects most men in one way, and it affected Jens in a completely different way. He had balls of steel and could react at the drop of a hat. Fucking ludicrous, was what it was.”

  “And this was just here? Just in the Zoo?”

  “Before he came to the Zoo, he rarely drank. He was the life of the party without it. Half the time he was so caught up in whatever he was doing he didn’t even think about drinking, or so I’ve been told. I’ll get to how he figured out booze could be his spinach in just a second. I want you to understand what his superpowers were. It’s like he needed the drink to get the courage, and once that kicked in, it gave him the ability to use his body in ways that were… Well, in crazy, uninhibited ways. He had no fear.”

  Holly opened her eyes wide. “Man, that’s a recipe for disaster.”

  “Usually,” JB replied. “But it gave him the ability to act before thinking. To have instinctual responses. They beat a normal man’s response time by seconds. I mean whole seconds. In these fights, in this place? That’s the difference between life and death. I’m not saying what he did was smart. He was always walking a tightrope. But it worked. Out here in the thick, a guy will do anything he can to get a leg up. You got to beat not just the competition, but the animals out there hunting you, too. He found his leg up, and after he did, he never thought twice about it.”

  Holly leaned back in her chair and considered. “I guess if I found my secret potion, I really wouldn’t think twice about it, either.”

  JB pointed his finger at Holly. “Exactly. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here. It’s important to understand that he figured this out at the right moment. He was in that second between life and death. It was at that moment that a legend was born, right out there in the Zoo. Had one tiny thing changed, he would not have made it out his very first time. It was fate, maybe. Maybe the universe was fighting back against the alien sonsofbitches who sent that shit to Earth. For a while, all the mercenaries that heard about it were a little more hopeful, but that wouldn’t last forever.”

  Chapter Three

  Jens sat up in the back of the NTV and put his hands on the roll bar. He felt like he blinked at least a hundred times before taking off his aviators and eyeing the expanse of the Zoo. It was overwhelming. The pictures he had seen hadn’t done justice to the beauty and threat of the place. Jens had spent the whole of his twenties serving all over the world with the German army, and not once had he seen anything as magnetic and terrifying as the Zoo.

  Jens had heard stories about the Zoo. He had been in the army when the missile had been caught and the Zoo was unleashed in the Sahara. He tried to get stationed there, but they were very selective. Jens was a good soldier, well-trained and in shape, but he was a bit of a clown. That hurt his chances. It didn’t help that the officer in charge of picking the candidates had been the butt of one of his pranks early in his career. The officer still smelled like potatoes.

  This was a minor setback. As soon as his third tour was over, he left the military and headed to the German side of the Wall. He found himself right where he belonged, even if the fear was almost paralyzing.

  “You shit yourself yet?” Ainsley gave Jens a friendly pat on the back.

  Jens laughed, but he wasn’t sure he could say no. Ainsley had been the first guy he’d met when he got off the plane in the Sahara. He had a two-year head start on him in the Zoo. That was damn near considered veteran status. Ainsley had taken nine successful trips into the Zoo. That was a low number considering he had been there for two years, but Ainsley didn’t like to press his luck. He was cautious, but he knew the place inside and out. He was never surprised when something unexpected popped up. He was a brave soldier and a good friend, and he took Jens under his wing almost immediately.

  Jens shook his head as the NTV pulled up to the Staging Area. “This shit is bonkers. Seriously. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Jens jumped out.

  Ainsley gave him a half-smile. “Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet, kid. Walking in there is like stepping out of this world and into a whole new universe. Try not to walk with your mouth hanging open like a kid in a toy shop. These toys will bite your dick off if you’re not careful.”

  Jens groaned and covered his crotch protectively. He grabbed his pack and his suit and walked to one side to get ready. He was glad he had saved up so much while he was in the military. His savings had afforded him a top-of-the-line suit. The HUD could target whatever needed targeting with razor-sharp accuracy, and the armor could take a direct hit by anything but an ICBM, although the last bit might have been bullshit the salesman had made up. Jens wasn’t sure the hype would hold once they were inside the Zoo, but it made a bit of his fear trickle away.

  It was a five-man team, with Ainsley as the lead. Second in command was Horace, a tall, muscular black man in his mid-forties who had been in the coal mines in America. He was trying to earn cash for his family quickly. He was quiet, but he was focused. He sent ninety percent of his money back home and had pictures of his kids hanging in his room. He was the only man Ainsley had ever known to go off to visit his family and actually come back.

  Craig, also known as Wizard, was third in command and the sharpshooter of the team. They called him Wizard because of his long white beard. The fact that he was only twenty-five and looked like Gandalf was strange to Jens, but the guy was cool. He spent most of his time talking about comic books and online gaming. He had shown Jens a picture of himself as a baby with that same snow-white hair. Apparently, it ran on his father’s side. When he got to the Zoo, he said fuck it and grew out his beard.

  He also wore the same Flash t-shirt under his armor on every mission. He never washed the shirt. Jens assumed it was for good luck, but maybe Wizard simply had piss-poor personal habits.

  His quirks aside, Wizard was a guru with weapons. He could spout off the name of every rifle that had been produced in the last hundred years, and he could shoot a tick off a deer’s ass from two hundred yards away. He had participated in shooting competitions as a teen and won a few ribbons. The military had tried to recruit him, but he went for the money and wound up in the Zoo.

  Next was Mary. She was sarcastic, wild, and loved to have a good time. The guys loved her because she was gorgeous and outspoken at the same time. She was from Oklahoma, born and raised, and had spent her early twenties riding bulls. She had been a sensation on the rodeo circuit. She not only broke recor
ds, but she rode the bulls sitting backward in a tight white tank top with her wild red hair flying all over the place. Jens had seen footage of her, and he had to admit, had he been in the States he would have wanted a front-row seat.

  She was also a loud and proud lesbian, a fact which deflated and engorged the entire male population at once.

  Then there was Jens. At thirty-two, he’d had his fair share of life experiences, and took them all in stride. He had a joke for every situation, but that was clearly a cover-up for his lack of self-confidence. Fear had been a driving factor in his life; something he hadn’t been able to control even after years in the military. It made him sweat, fogged his vision, and had ruined just about every experience he’d ever had. He vowed that his time in the Zoo would be different. His blinding fear of the Zoo could possibly get him or one of his teammates killed. He wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

  Ainsley zipped his bag and slung it over his shoulder, then tucked his HUD under his arm. “All right, men, we’ve all been in the Zoo—well, everyone but our new little homie Jens.”

  Wizard put his hands together and bowed while Mary pumped her fist and cheered loudly. Jens gave them the finger. They all laughed.

  Ainsley clapped his hands and set his HUD on the ground. “For our first time out as a team, I’ve got a cherry for you. This is pretty fucking sweet. We got our eyes on a nice patch of Pita that Mary scouted out for us last week. Should be one hell of a payday.”

  Horace rolled his shoulders back and got a better grip on his rifle. “If we keep our asses in check.”

  Ainsley nodded. “Yes, as our way-too-serious comrade just pointed out, we need to, quote, keep our asses in check. Which means…”