Soldiers of Fame and Fortune Full Series Omnibus: Nobody’s Fool, Nobody Lives Forever, Nobody Drinks That Much, Nobody Remembers But Us, Ghost Walking, 12 Book series...

by Michael Todd

Holly and JB remained silent until they were inside the apartment with the door shut. Then, he released a loud sigh, walked to his desk, and sat in his chair. “It’s good to be home. Hickok is great at hiding but the places she had us stay in were less than comfortable. I guess comfort really wasn’t the top priority, though.”

  She plopped into a chair and leaned back. “No, I don’t think it was. Although I wish I had some heads-up that you guys would roll in today. I would have been more prepared. I received a video of you behind the bar fucking drinks up and headed right over.”

  JB chuckled. “Yeah. I also got a couple of them right that I shouldn’t have but the mercs were either too drunk or too dumb to be suspicious. They decided ‘Old JB’ was working through me.”

  Holly laughed. “You would, though. Your ass would have haunted this place forever.”

  He nodded. “Damn fucking right I would. Even after death ain’t nobody fucking my shit up. They would never have gotten that giant ass picture of me up, though.”

  “That was my suggestion.” She snickered. “I had to give you a little bit of hell.”

  JB gave her a side look. “I guess I deserved it. But I think the whole thing went off perfectly. I can’t lie, though, I was really touched by the way everyone told stories about me. I didn’t realize how much effect I had on these people.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know how you could have missed that. I saw it the first day I walked into FUBAR. These guys respect you more than anybody you have told a story about. The whole damn town has been in mourning since you died. I was running out of black shit to wear.”

  He leaned forward. “So what happens now?”

  Holly sighed. “Now, we have to take care of all the details. We have to grab some new shit for you over the next few days and get rid of all the old stuff. In that process, your Last Will and Testament will come out and name you as the heir to the bar. We’ll have to set up your new persona with legal stuff so you can take the bar over. I’m sure that Hickok has the perfect contacts for us to score some new documents for you with no problem.”

  JB peered into a small stand-up mirror on his desk. “Yeah, I probably need some new headshots for my budding modeling career too.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, Lord. And we have to figure out how to rein in that ego of yours. We don’t need you to get all cocky on us. We’ll welcome the new JB but only if he isn’t a douche canoe.”

  He smirked. “I’m only kidding. New face, same old me. It’s like being reborn with the knowledge of a fifty-year-old. It’s fantastic. Although today, I figured out that having all that knowledge and all those memories isn’t exactly a good thing when you are trying to multi-task and keep yourself straight with the things you say. I had to stop myself mid-sentence at least five times tonight. At one point, I think I told people I used to work for the circus because that is what first popped in my mind to keep from blurting out something personal that I wouldn’t have known as a different JB.”

  Holly nodded her head and gave him a stern look. “Yeah, well, we will all have to work together to make this seem real. We aren’t even close to being in the clear on this one. It helps to have Paula in on it because most of the guys respect her opinion and they will look to her for her thoughts on you in the upcoming weeks. Hickok will be good, too, because she is a hot woman who can toy with them, flirt, and make them like her, thus liking you by association.”

  “Shit, is that how it works?” JB wrinkled his nose. “I knew females were tricky. They all get together and plot against us, don’t they?”

  She laughed. “Of course. I thought you knew women better. Personally, I don’t make friends with women like that. And if you look at the total number of women I am friends with, it comes to three. Paula, Billie, and Amanda. Oh, and Misha, but we don’t have a personal relationship, only a team one.”

  JB shrugged. “I guess I forgot since I haven’t been around any that aren’t badasses like you, Paula, and Billie since I was a kid. They don’t really have catty women out here in the Zoo. The others would feed her to the jags.”

  Holly grinned. “I am badass, aren’t I? And yeah, that would be my first thought. The jags or the dino. We could reenact a scene from Jurassic Park. The one where the T-Rex eats the guy off the toilet.”

  At a knock on the door, both straightened cautiously. They cleared their throats and shifted back into character, not quite sure who was there. Holly stood and walked over but glanced at JB and waited for him to give her a nod. She opened the door and smiled.

  Hickok pulled down on her shorts, clearly uncomfortable. “How do girls wear these things all the time? They are crotch-wedgie central. I haven’t had anything shoved up there like that in a long time.”

  Holly sighed, opened the door, and stepped aside. Billie walked in and sat on the corner of the desk, swinging her legs. Holly peeked down the stairs and closed the door before she walked back to her chair. “We were talking about how we all have to continue to work together to make this all seem real. It’s not as simple as saying he is this person and then we all move on like nothing happened.”

  Billie flipped her hair back. “Oh yeah, definitely. This isn’t something we can let go of now. When the novelty wears off is when we really gotta push it. That’s when people start to actually pay attention.”

  JB stood and walked over to peer out the window. “People are flocking in here. They must have heard the news. I don’t know if I can go back down there. I am like a new animal at the Zoo. Everyone wants to get a look at me.”

  Holly clapped enthusiastically. “Good. That’s a good thing. Well, not the animal part, I guess. The more people who know what is going on now makes for fewer times you have to explain it to someone when they come in confused. Eventually, the patrons will cycle through and everyone will be used to you being there and things will go back to normal. You’ll still be a different person, but you will be settled.”

  Billie tapped her fingers against the desk. “Exactly. We’ll have to keep on it, though, until it comes to that point. How do you feel about everything? I think this is probably the hardest for you out of everyone. At least when I died, I didn’t have to stare at a shrine of myself every day.”

  JB turned and looked at the girls. “There is a part of me that’s sad. It truly is like the old me died and I have to take on the persona of someone else. It’s hard not to joke with people like I used to. It’s hard not to reach out and shake someone familiar’s hand and ask about their trip or their leg that got injured two years ago. But I think that will get easier the more people open up to me. I don’t know. It touched me how much they cared but at the same time, it made me sad.”

  Holly pursed her lips. “I can’t imagine how that feels. You should keep notes every day. A book up here that you can write that stuff down in. That way, you know what is the new you and what was the old you. It might help you keep from making too many mistakes.”

  He grabbed a book from a drawer. “Good idea. I already have a million things to write down in it. People basically spilled their guts to me all day long. I learned things I didn’t even know as the old me.”

  Hickok jumped off the desk. “Then we will leave you to it. I have some stuff to discuss with Holly and we need to work on getting your documents. It’s a whole new life for me too but I don’t have as many things to remember. Actually, I don’t have anything to remember besides the fact that I’m your cousin.”

  JB grumbled. “Lucky bitch.”

  They all laughed and Billie and Holly headed out and left JB there in his apartment. He sat behind the desk and stared around him in the silence. Only a faint sound of laughter echoed from downstairs. It was all strange to him. It was his place, exactly as it had always been. It had the same dusty smell, the muted echo of noise from downstairs, and the familiar jumbled closets. But at the same time, it wasn’t his anymore. He had to become New JB in order to convince everyone else. The only way for him to do that was to completely immerse himself in the ide
a.

  He had to give up the old shell and put on a new one. He had to make the memories of his past fade to the back like a dream. This was his chance to change the things about himself he didn’t like, and he would need to do it without hesitation. JB had never been very good at change that wasn’t completely in his control.

  His eyes wandered to the dresser beside his bed. He stood and limped over and grimaced at the pressure on his leg. With a sigh, he sat on the bed and opened the bottom drawer to retrieve the photo album. It was his go-to when he felt alone, but he knew he had to put it away. He ran his hand over the front of it, stood, and walked to the closet. After a moment’s hesitation, he pushed on a hidden panel in the back and slid the door open. Carefully, he set the book inside and sighed again, closed it, and straightened the clothes in front of it.

  JB limped back to the bed and plopped down, raised his pant leg, and removed his artificial leg. His actual leg had already grown back about halfway, and it didn’t look like it would slow down until it had completely regenerated. He hoped that would be soon because it was damned painful re-growing a limb.

  “Having to work to be healed is more annoying than an itch on the back of your fucking balls in the middle of church,” he grumped acidly. He retrieved his knife from his pocket and used the screwdriver on it to loosen the relevant screws. It had become a daily task to modify his artificial leg in order to make adjustments for the new growth, but he was grateful that it was at least possible. Holly had saved the day with the inspiration to enlist Amanda to help resolve the issue. The armorer had worked her usual magic and jimmied the prosthetic so that he could now lower the inner support as his leg grew out. It was as uncomfortable as all hell, but at least he was able to move around until he no longer had need of it. They didn’t need the inevitable questions that would arise if New JB suddenly lost a limb.

  The girls were able to escape the bar without too much hoorah. Everyone either waited to meet New JB or talked about the old days and shared stories about the old owner. Paula had winked at them both, glanced at the ceiling, and sighed. She was the one in charge of keeping JB together and straight when they weren’t there. With the amount of excitement in the crowd, she was worried that it would be more difficult than they thought.

  When the door shut behind them, Holly exhaled noisily. “I think that’s the loudest I have ever heard FUBAR. I didn’t even realize how loud it was until the door closed. I need some quiet time. That was intense.”

  Billie shrugged. “For me, it was easy, but I didn’t know any of those people. I could make up my whole persona without having to worry about people being suspicious. Your team won’t say anything even if they recognize me, which I doubt. And you guys are in on it.”

  Holly shook her head as they headed to her apartment. “Oh, that reminds me. I was talking to Amanda about security for our place before I got the video. I think we definitely need to put in some precautions. With my company records and the stuff we are handling, I am worried that we are not prepared should someone come after us.”

  “That’s true. I thought about that while I was away.”

  As she spoke, she turned her head and glanced at a man who walked down the street on the other side. He hadn’t seen her yet, but she had spotted him immediately. His name was Christian—or, at least, that was his operative name for the organization. She had worked with him on two different team jobs in the past, and even though they were years before, she still recognized him. He looked like a merc from a distance, but she knew that was only a cover.

  As they approached the apartment, Billie turned to Holly and took her wrists. “There is something that I need to do and it could impact on you. There are some items I need to retrieve from someone specific…”

  Billie didn’t know exactly what to say so she simply spat instructions. “I need you to not ask me any questions right now. I want you to go inside, lock everything, and go into Amanda’s shop and hide in there. Hide, don’t stand around.”

  Holly looked at her for a moment and studied the concern and seriousness on her face. She nodded and turned, walked directly to the door, and opened it. As she closed it, she looked for Billie but she had disappeared. She closed and locked the door and realized, oddly enough, that she wasn’t frightened in the least. As she snuck into the garage and found a hiding space at the back among the crates, she thought about her friend and how her old life didn’t seem to be completely over.

  She had no idea what Hickok had actually done. She wanted to offer to help her but she knew she would turn her down. Instead, she’d put on an Oscar-worthy worried face and scurried off like a frightened child. Inside the garage, though, she flipped her shoes off and lay down with her feet propped against the crates, knowing it might take some time before Billie came back for her. Until then, she would enjoy the silence and the ability to relax without worrying about emails or texts from her company. They were the last people she wanted to contact her.

  Chapter Seven

  JB dug through the bag that Billie had packed for him. She had decided it would be better if he had his own clothes and didn’t walk around wearing the old JB’s. He had to admit, it was a little strange to unpack endless pairs of not Levi jeans and T-shirts with all kinds of ridiculous photos on them. Finally, at the bottom of the bag, he found a pair of plaid pajama pants. Armed with those and a T-shirt with a squirrel on it, he headed to the bathroom and stepped into the shower.

  He had already replaced his old shower paraphernalia with new items and hoped that Billie hadn’t picked out anything that would make him smell like a cologne factory. When he had finished showering, he located his shaving kit. However, when he looked in the mirror, his face was still smooth. He no longer grew a beard as fast as he used to, which made him think back to his early twenties when a five o’clock shadow for him happened after about three days. That, he didn’t mind. Shaving had always been a pain to him but to keep the baby face, Holly and Billie both had agreed he should not grow a beard back for a while.

  JB took his time as he brushed his teeth and packed his new belongings away. Some things, he was determined to keep, like the towels. There was no need to buy new towels. That hadn’t come up yet and he wondered how much of a battle it would be when it finally did. He tossed his dirty things in the hamper and headed to bed once he’d turned the bedside lamp on and the overhead light off. Exceptionally weary, he climbed between the crisp sheets and eased his stump into a comfortable position.

  It had been a very long day for him, on top of the numerous shots he had taken simply to keep himself from being…well, too much himself. By that point, he was ready to pass the fuck out so he pulled the covers up and clicked the lamp off. He pushed his hands under the pillows and snuggled in, thankful to finally be back in his bed. The ones he had slept in over the last week had been slightly scary and of real concern. He had been sure he would catch something as horrendous as the plague.

  He closed his eyes and let his mind settle but as he was about to drift off, there was a loud knock on the door. He groaned and threw the covers back. He pushed to his one leg and yanked down on his squirrel T-shirt as he hopped toward the door. Before he could reach it, though, it opened, and he stared at the silhouette of a curvaceous woman.

  JB groaned, rolled his eyes, and leaned his one hand on the bedside cabinet for support while he placed the other on his hip. “What are you doing here? With a new life, why don’t you try allowing others to open their damned doors?”

  Billie walked in and shoved the door shut behind her. She clicked the light on. “At least I fucking knocked, so put a sock in it. Let me work into it. I’ll start with knocking and I’ll go slowly from there. And before I even go any further, what are you wearing?”

  He scowled at his outfit. “You are the one who gave me the bag of clothes.”

  She pursed her lips in disapproval. “Yeah. I guess I should have specified when I told the saleswoman to select a bunch of casual clothes for a mid-twenties guy. And maybe
I shouldn’t have gone to Hot Topic.”

  JB blinked at her. “Hot Topic? Really? Those are still in business?”

  Billie shrugged, walked forward, and sat on the end of his bed. “The emo gotta find clothes somewhere, I guess. At least it’s only a squirrel T-shirt. I saw one in there with a penis wearing a feather boa.”

  He groaned. “That one is in there too. Your sales girl must have had a sense of humor.”

  “I like people with senses of humor. I should have tipped her.” She chuckled.

  Rather than respond to that, he folded his arms. “What do you need? Obviously, you are here for some reason.”

  She shook her finger. “Oh, yeah. Thanks. Do you have anything lethal I can use as a drug in a drink?”

  JB closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “We have been here one day and you already want to drug someone? Seriously? And don’t you have that kind of thing in your bag of tricks?”

  Hickok frowned. “No. I went to my contact and paid for all kinds of weapons. I even have fucking blow darts. Cool, right?”

  “If you are fighting natives on their turf—”

  She sneered. “Yeah, well, I thought it was cool. Anyway, I bought all this badass weaponry and completely forgot to get anything organic. Obviously, I don’t want it traceable.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You know, when your automatic mindset is to make sure you poison someone with something that cannot be traced, you should rethink your life. Normal people really don’t think that way. They don’t even think about drugging other people, much less killing them and what substance they can use to do it without being caught.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m fucked up.” Billie rolled her eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know. Do you have anything?”

  JB sighed and hopped over to his shelf. “Benadryl, iodine, shaving cream, valium, and…vaseline.”

  She tilted her head back and began to laugh. “Are you setting me up for a raging party followed by an orgy or—”