Prude & Prejudice

by Francene Carroll

  “That’s right. It’s not my way to spread rumours about people I hardly know, but I don’t mind if you warn other people to be wary of him. We need to look out for each other in this town, especially when outsiders like him turn up and begin trying to change things.”

  Prue spent the rest of the day working around the farm, planting herbs and prepping some beds for the next day. By the time she finished up it was getting dark and she was covered in dirt. She had planned to have a quiet evening on her own, but just as she was about to step in the shower the phone rang. It was Cate.

  “Hey, a bunch of us are going to the pub tonight if you want to come. It will only be for a few hours, I promise.”

  “I was planning on having an early night. I worked hard today.”

  “You could use a night out. You know what they say, all work and no play makes Prudence Higginbottom a very dull girl.”

  “Okay, you talked me into it, but I won’t be able to stay out too late and you have to promise you’ll never call me Prudence ever again. You’re as bad as Mum”

  “Okay, I promise. See you soon, Prude.”

  ****

  As Prue, Cate, Alice and a few of their girlfriends hurried towards the pub, their heels clicking in time on the pavement, Prue could see how crowded it was through the window. It was a chilly night and as they opened the door they were greeted with a blast of warm air, accompanied by music from the jukebox and a cacophony of voices all talking over each other. It was another typical Saturday night at the Heart and Humble.

  Prue had been coming to this pub since before she was legally allowed to drink, and though many of her friends had moved away to far more exotic places, it always reminded her of how glad she was to be back in her home town. She would never admit it to another living soul, but the theme song from Cheers played in her head whenever she walked in the door because this was one of the few places in the world where nearly everybody did know her name.

  As they took off their coats the girls scanned the room for spare seats. On nights like this they usually managed to find some friends and squeeze in at a table with them, but Prue was surprised when she could not spot a single familiar face in the crowd.

  “Do you see anyone we know?” asked Cate, looking puzzled.

  “No. Who are all these people? Is there something going on in town this weekend that we don’t know about?”

  “It’s the new staff from Organic Feasts,” said their friend Charlotte, who worked at the local real estate agency. “They’ve taken over all the pubs in Merryton over the last couple of weeks.”

  “But surely there are not that many of them?” said Prue.

  “It’s not just them. Their friends and family have started converging here en masse on weekends, and it’s probably going to get worse. This population boom is great for the town in some ways, but there are no rentals left in any towns or villages around here, and the landlords have started increasing rents. House prices are already skyrocketing too, meaning a lot of local people are being shut out of the market.”

  At that moment someone jostled past them and knocked into Prue. He did not even bother to apologize but just kept walking.

  “How rude! I wish these city people would bring their manners with them.” Her mood did not improve when Cate spotted Charles Bradley across the room and he waved and beckoned for them to come over. She was even less impressed when she saw that William Darling was sitting at his table. She grabbed Cate’s sleeve.

  “I’m not going over there.”

  “Come on, it’s only for a minute. We’ll just say hello. He’s seen us now so it would be rude not to.” Reluctantly she followed her sister through the crowd.

  “Hi there, girls. I never got to thank you properly for the great job you did the other day. Why don’t you join us?”

  “We’d love to,” said Cate, promptly plonking herself on the stool and ignoring the death look Prue gave her. Prue looked around for an escape, but the other girls had all melted away.

  “Sit down, Prudence,” said Charles Bradley.

  “It’s Prue,” she said. “And I’m fine thanks.”

  “You remember William from the other day?” he said, forcing her to turn back and face the two of them. William Darling had been talking on his phone but he closed it and put it in his pocket. She gave a tight smile and tried to turn away again, but to her surprise he held out his hand.

  “Hello, nice to meet you. Have a seat. Sorry, I missed your name.” She reluctantly took his hand and perched on the edge of the stool.

  “I’m Prue,” she said, and saw no flicker of recognition in his eyes. “Prudence.” Still nothing. “Prudence Higginbottom.”

  “Oh yes, from the cafe. I hardly recognized you. You’ve either lost a lot of weight or my eyes were playing tricks on me the other day.”

  “It was my jacket. It was too big.” What a nerve he had to sit there and act so friendly and charming after the insulting comments he had made about her.

  “How is your lovely mother?” Was that laughter she detected in his eyes?

  “She’s fine. Thank you for asking.” There was an awkward silence. Cate and Bradley were involved in a conversation that was clearly meant for two so she could not hope for any relief from that quarter.

  “How long have you been in the catering business?”

  “You mean how long have I been working as the hired help?”

  “Well, yes, if that’s how you want to put it.”

  “We brought the café three years ago.” She squinted as if she was trying to see someone in the distance and then waved. “Oh look, there’s my friend Sam. Nice talking to you.” Without another word she jumped up from the table and pushed her way through to the bar. She did not even have a friend called Sam, but she needed an excuse to get away, and this was the best she could come up with on the spot. After spending even that brief amount of time in William Darling’s company she also needed a drink, but to her frustration it took ten minutes before she was served. Complete strangers kept pushing in front of her at the bar, and when she finally made it to the front of the queue Murray, the usual Saturday night barman, was too busy to speak to her. He always made her cocktail exactly the way she liked it and they flirted and shared a joke or two, but tonight he did not even acknowledge her.

  As if that was not bad enough, someone put techno music on the jukebox and Prue thought her head was going to explode with the hideous pounding beat. After buying her drink she wandered around the pub for what seemed like hours trying to find a familiar face, but to no avail. It was like she stuck in some kind of techno-themed nightmare. She brought another drink and had almost finished it when she finally ran into her old school friend, Joey. He was also a bit of an outcast at school and they had stuck together and defended one another through the tough years.

  “Thank god,” she said, grabbing his arm. “I’m so glad to see you. What’s going on here?”

  “I know, it’s crazy. Do you want a drink?” he said.

  “Sure, let’s get a bottle of wine to share and go somewhere quiet out the back.” After buying the wine and wandering around for a while they finally found some free chairs in a dark alcove under the stairs and settled down to catch up.

  “That’s so much better. So, how have things been with you?” she asked, sinking into the soft chair with relief. “I haven’t seen you for a while.” Joey had recently gotten married and had his first child, and he and his wife ran a furniture store in town.

  “Everything was fine up until a couple of weeks ago, but now I’m starting to get a bit worried about business. There’s a new furniture shop opening across the street, so it will be in direct competition with us. It’s owned by one of the wives of a manager from Organic Feasts. They have a couple of other stores too around the place and will probably be able to undercut our prices.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine, you have really good quality stuff in your shop and everyone around here knows you.”

  “I hope so. W
e’re barely been breaking even so any competition could potentially send us under, but I shouldn’t complain. It’s great for the town, especially after the last year.”

  “I suppose, but if tonight is anything to go by I could live without the crowds, the techno music and the rudeness. Just between you and me, I preferred things the way they were.”

  They finished the wine and ordered another bottle, and it was a couple of hours later when Prue finally said goodbye to Joey and went in search of her sisters to go home. She had drank much more than she intended to, and in some dim part of her brain the realized she was very drunk as she stumbled on the step leading back to the main bar. At that moment someone knocked into her from behind and spilled their sticky drink down the back of her new shirt, and then, as if on cue, the jukebox started up again with pounding techno music.

  Cate was in the same place where she had left her, chatting with Charles Bradley, and by the time Prue fought her way across the room to join them she was in a very bad mood. William Darling made the unfortunate mistake of trying to speak with her at that moment.

  “This is really a great pub. I was a bit worried when we moved here that the night life was going to be deadly boring, but so far it’s been great.” She fixed him with what she hoped was a cold stare, but it was a little difficult when she couldn’t focus her eyes properly on his face.

  “Well, I’m just so glad that you and all your city friends appreciate our quaint little country pub. That’s just dandy because you are just so welcome here and so wanted in this town. Thanks for moving in and improving our lives by bringing your sophisticated city ways with you. On behalf of the whole town I would like to say thank you.” She threw her arms out melodramatically to demonstrate her point, and would have tumbled off the stool if he had not reached out to steady her.

  “What exactly is your problem?” he said, surprised. She leaned over so that her face was just inches from his.

  “You’re my problem, you and your kind,” she slurred. “You come to this town and think you can just take it over. You lack even basic manners and have no idea how to behave like civilized human beings. You take the jobs of hardworking people, and make it impossible for families to buy homes. You have no respect our traditions and our ways of life and you need to be stopped. No one would have dared play techno in this pub till you came along. I am going to take a stand against this madness and I’m sure many others will join me.”

  Her voice must have risen a few decibels because Prue noticed through her drunken haze that everyone left in the pub seemed to have stopped talking and they were all staring at her. “You have to be stopped,” were her last words before her vision blurred over completely and everything went black. That was the last thing she remembered of the evening.

  ****

  “Aaarrrghhhh,” moaned Prue. She was lying face down on a bed that was not her own, but she was too sick to open her eyes or even move her head. She could tell there was someone else in the room with her, but she had no idea who it was. “Where am I? What happened?”

  “You had a bit too much to drink last night and I brought you home.” It was a male voice and Prue’s stomach lurched painfully as she had a flashback of talking to William Darling before everything went black. Surely she had not gone home with the man she despised above all others? She could not possibly have been that drunk and her sisters would never have allowed it. She turned her head gingerly and was relieved to recognize the familiar guest bedroom in Alice’s house. Standing over her with a glass of water and an aspirin was her brother-in-law, Scott.

  “This might help. I hear you had quite an interesting evening and made a new friend of William Darling.”

  “Please don’t remind me. I can’t even remember what I said to the man. All I can see is the shocked look on his face, so it must have been bad.”

  “Oh, I can tell you exactly what you said to him,” said Alice, sailing in the door with some tea and toast on a tray. “In fact just about everyone in the pub can tell you. Mum is furious.”

  Prue sat up abruptly in bed then winced with pain. “Why did you have to tell Mum? She’s going to kill me.”

  “I didn’t have to tell her, she already knew. Someone phoned her this morning. She wants you to go straight around there when you leave here.”

  “Oh god, this is the last thing I need. I have to get home to check on the animals so she’ll just have to wait.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I phoned Bob and he took care of it all, so now you’ve got no excuse. My advice is just go and get it over with.”

  It was almost lunchtime by the time Prue dragged herself out of bed and around to her parents’ place. Alice had filled her in on every humiliating detail of the night before, and during the drive she felt very self-conscious and donned her darkest sunglasses in case she saw anyone she knew. She had not bothered to shower at Alice’s and her makeup from the night before was still smeared across her face and her hair was matted. All she wanted was to get home and fall into her own bed, but this had to be endured first.

  Fortunately the café was closed on Sunday so there were no witnesses to her walk of shame from the car to the house. Her mother was waiting inside, her arms folded across her chest and her expression stony.

  “Well, what do you have to say for yourself this time?”

  “What do you mean “this time?” You act like I get drunk and make an idiot of myself every weekend.”

  “Who among us can forget the day you and your delinquent friends got drunk in the park and mooned the vicar?”

  “I was sixteen years old. That was a decade ago.”

  “And I’m still living it down.”

  “I’m sorry, Mum, I messed up, but I’m sure there’s no harm done. William Darling probably won’t even remember what I said to him.”

  “No harm done? You told the man that he and everyone in his company are not welcome in this town because they are destroying our way of life. You said you were going to take a stand and drive them out. From what I heard he was mortally offended.” Prue put her hand to her head.

  “Oh god, this is so mortifying.”

  “Do I have to remind you, Prudence, that these are our most valued customers, that they have come along at a time when we desperately need the business, and that because of them we were finally looking at paying down some of our debt and getting ahead. Now you have gone and jeopardised it all with your stupid drunken behaviour.”

  “I said I’m sorry. What’s done is done, there’s nothing I can do to change it now.”

  “There certainly is. You will go around to the office first thing on Monday morning and apologise.”

  “I’ll do nothing of the sort! Why should I apologise to that man when his views are far more offensive than mine? At least I had the excuse of being drunk. I’ve heard him say much worse things when he was completely sober. And you should be thankful I didn’t mention anything about his racism or the other things I’ve since found out about him.” Prue could see her mother’s resolve to be harsh waver at the mention of gossip, but to her credit she stood firm.

  “I’m not asking you to do it, Prue, it’s an order.”

  “I have news for you, Mum, I’m not ten years old anymore. You can’t order me around like a child, and I will not be forced into doing something which is completely abhorrent to me.”

  Her mother appraised her for a moment. “For someone who finds it so disgusting when other people express their opinions about outsiders, you sure seem to have very strong views when your territory is invaded. Maybe next time you won’t be so quick to judge others for feeling the same way.” Prue had been hoping her mother would not make the obvious connection and call her on her hypocrisy, and there was no way she was going to admit she was right.

  “This is completely different. I’m not a racist, I just got angry because they were so rude and they did not seem to care that we were locals and this has been our pub for a long time.”

  Her father, who had been si
tting in the corner keeping out of it, put his book down. “Maybe a lot of what we call racism is more about fear of change than the colour of people’s skin. Something to think about, isn’t it?”

  “Maybe,” she mumbled, “But that doesn’t change my opinion of William Darling. He is an arrogant, narrow-minded fool, and there’s nothing on this planet that could make me apologise to that man. Nothing.”

  ****

  “So I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, I was way out of line and I didn’t mean anything I said. You and your employees and their friends and extended families are very welcome in this town. You can play your techno music wherever and whenever you like.”

  “That’s very magnanimous of you. I’ll be sure to send a memo around letting everyone know that we can cancel the plans to return to London,” replied William Darling in mock seriousness. Charles Bradley, who was sitting beside him, cleared his throat, and shifted in his chair, and Prue could tell he was trying hard not to laugh. She looked William Darling directly in the face to show she was not in the least concerned with his pathetic jokes at her expense, and saw the mischievous glint in his eye. It only made her despise him even more.

  “Well, that’s all I wanted to say. I’d better get back to the café now.” Despite her vow that she would never lower herself to apologise to such a despicable person, Prue had not been able to sleep at all the night before. Her mother’s words had kept replaying in her head as she tossed and turned in her bed. She could not be responsible for her family losing such an important client, and she would never forgive herself if the business went backwards because of her stupidity. Swallowing her pride to make the apology had been one of the hardest things she’d had to do in a while and now she just wanted to get away from here. As she stood up to depart Charles Bradley put a hand on her arm.

  “Wait a moment. Cate left so quickly the other night that I didn’t get a chance to ask her to my party next weekend.” They both knew Cate had left so quickly because she was carrying Prue out the door. “I know you’re catering it, but I just thought that you girls might want to stay on afterwards, as my guests. There will be a lot of young people there.”