Because she could only think of another, and that other was Stephen himself.
Fellis could not tell him that. She realized that because of this, she must make the pretense of meeting Wynn, of behaving as if her future were of some import to her. When in her heart she knew that nothing could really move her now.
She looked at Stephen with unknowing sorrow. “I will do as you ask.”
He smiled, and Fellis thought she saw regret mixed with the relief in his eyes.
Quickly she glanced away, knowing she was mistaken. Stephen cared for nothing save seeing this wedding accomplished. When it was done, he was free to be on his way, to find his old life far from Malvern—and her.
As the first time, Fellis and Stephen went to the meeting without escort. Neither of them made any pretense at trying to talk. For that Fellis was grateful. She did not think that she could have continued to present such a calm facade if he spoke to her.
She neither thought of nor cared how she appeared in another new cote of azure blue sendal and an underdress of deeper cobalt damask. Her new clothing had come to mean very little over the past days.
She drew her light cloak closer about her shoulders to ward off the dampness left by the rains that had ceased to fall only the previous evening. Fellis was no more than peripherally conscious of the dank mustiness rising from the loam beneath the horses’ hooves.
Wynn was waiting when they arrived at the clearing in the forest. Fellis could see by the determined set of his features that the Welsh nobleman had indeed come to some decision. Her stomach churned with apprehension.
The Welshman left his horse tied to the branch of a young oak at the far edge of the clearing, walking across the newgrown grass with obvious determination. Fellis heard the sharp crackle of twigs snapping beneath his leather-shod feet with an unexplainable sense of dread.
As he reached them, Fellis and Stephen dismounted without looking at each other. The knight simply took Ebony and secured her to the lower branch of a tall beech tree.
Wynn waited until he was finished, then greeted them briefly with a bow. “Lady Fellis, Sir Stephen.” When they nodded he then spoke very formally to the knight. “I have resolved that I will do as your English king wishes.”
Turning to Fellis, the Welshman addressed her in equally formal tones. “Lady Fellis Grayson, I ask, for the good of my people and yours, that you will do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
She had known that this would be what he had to tell them, yet hearing the words still came as something of a shock to her. This then was the moment that would decide her future. Once she committed herself formally there would be no going back, not without dire consequence.
Feeling Stephen’s gaze on her but-not allowing herself to look at him, Fellis took a deep breath. She needed every modicum of courage she had ever possessed to say the words that she knew she must. “I will wed with you, Wynn ap Dafydd, for the good of both our peoples.”
The words fell into silence at the gravity of her acceptance.
Hopelessness made Fellis’s knees weak. She looked at the ground, working to force back the tears that must remain unshed. Any dream of ever being with Stephen was lost to her now, for once and always.
Stephen was speaking then, and she made herself attend him. Fellis was surprised at the husky tone of his voice. “Your allies have agreed to this union?”
Wynn cast him a resigned glance. “There are dissenters among them. But I feel sure those few will come around. They will come to see that I do what is best for all, though some be hurt or angered by it.”
There was a haunting note of regret in his voice that made Fellis wonder what had caused it. Was he thinking of Ardeth and wishing he did not have to set her aside? For surely this meeting indicated that he had.
Unexpectedly, the notion brought a feeling of kinship with the man she would marry. It seemed that both of them would give up much to follow their duty.
At least if they had no love for each other, there might be a chance at respect.
With that thought in mind, she gave him her hand. Wynn bent over in a surprisingly courtly gesture and kissed it. It was as if he understood what was in her thoughts, for his expression was pleased.
Stephen saw Fellis hold out her hand, saw Wynn take it. As the first time it had happened, his mind flashed bright hot resentment.
Doubling his fists at his sides, Stephen forced himself to turn away, to block out the sight of them. He could not look at Fellis in her new cote of pale blue that matched the color of her eyes, eyes that he had watched grow hooded with the intensity of her desire for him. Had he really thought he could see them together and not want her for himself, that he could stand by and witness the other man claim what he wanted most in the world?
He’d known this moment would come, that Wynn would accept her and that she would agree to take him. There had never been any real doubt of it in his mind. What choice had mere mortals against the wishes of a king?
But to be here, to see them this way was too much.
Even knowing that he was helping Fellis by bringing her to see the man who would become her husband, Stephen could barely hide his resentment.
He did not believe he could stand by and see them wed. He had no wish to put himself through such torment.
What choice had he? King Edward had been very specific in telling Stephen he wished him to stay to the end, to make sure nothing went wrong. His obligation was to carry it out.
He squared his shoulders, and turning to face them, Stephen was relieved to see that Wynn was no longer holding Fellis’s hand and the two seemed to have little or nothing to say to each other.
Going back to stand with them, Stephen addressed Wynn. “I congratulate you both and can only say that I will pray for your happiness.”
Wynn nodded but said nothing, only glancing to where Fellis had moved to stand a few steps away looking decidedly uncomfortable.
Stephen drew the other man’s attention back to himself. “My lord, there are some things I wish to discuss with you, if you do not mind.”
Wynn nodded again. “As you will. Are we to begin discussions on the terms of the marriage contract?”
Stephen was aware of Fellis looking up then, her brows arching high in surprise.
The knight shook his head then watched her relax. “Nay, that Lady Fellis’s father will attend to. You will have need to meet with him on that subject. I wish to ask you of your own situation. You did say there are those still opposed to the marriage?”
He answered. “Aye, but as I told you there is no need to worry.”
Concern made Stephen frown. “They will not act against you?”
Wynn stared up into the taller man’s face. “Nay, have no fear. They oppose the marriage, but the one who leads them is unquestioningly loyal to me.”
At Stephen’s obvious relief, he smiled. “I think, Englishman, that you actually care for my safety and not just the fact that I have promised to end the feuding.”
Stephen looked at the other man, finding he felt a great deal of respect and even liking for the Welshman. “Methinks you are right,” he said, then smiled, surprised to find himself doing so. “I find myself uncomfortable with the notion that you might be in danger from your own folk because of my actions.”
Wynn waved a dismissive hand. “Do not worry over it, Stephen. My safety is not in doubt. The man who has objected the most strenuously would as soon harm his own son as myself, did he have one. To question his loyalty would be to question my own flesh and blood.”
Without quite knowing why he did so, Stephen held out his hand in friendship. “May this union bring about the peace we all seek.”
Wynn took it. Speaking softly so that only Stephen could hear him, he said, “I will not treat her cruelly.”
Neither pretending he did not know what the other was saying or trying to deny the truth of what the Welshman had observed, Stephen said, “You have my thanks and my friendship, as well. If you would have it?
”
“Gladly,” Wynn replied.
Stephen glanced around to where Fellis waited nearby. She seemed distant, lost in her own thoughts.
Stephen knew a desire to go to her, to openly admit to Wynn how he felt about her. It seemed clear that Wynn had already guessed at the truth and still he accepted the knight’s offer of friendship. If only he could just say the words, that he wished to have her for his own.
He did not, could not.
It was as Stephen turned back to Wynn that he was stunned to feel a quick rush of wind brush his cheek as a fast-moving object flew past his head. Reacting quickly, Stephen swung around to see the object land in the ground some few feet away. Immediately he recognized that it was an arrow. Thankfully it had passed between himself and Wynn without hitting either of them.
All this Stephen saw and assimilated in less time than it took a heart to beat.
He spun around, his horrified gaze going to Fellis. But though she stood there as if turned to stone, her face pale with shock, she was unscathed.
Then Stephen noticed a flash of color to his right just beyond Fellis’s shoulder. He realized the assailant must still be lurking in the wood. This registered in his mind, and Stephen knew a nagging sense of confusion, he would have sworn the arrow had come from his left.
There was no time to waste in contemplating this.
He rushed forward into the edge of the forest, determined to see if he could catch whoever had shot the arrow.
Then he was upon them, grabbing at the back of a long dark cloak. It came loose in his hands and he was astonished to see that the assailant was a woman. Not just any woman but Wynn’s leman, Ardeth.
Fellis had seen the arrow fly between the two men with a gasp of horror. Then as Stephen ran to one side of the clearing, Wynn had disappeared into the trees on the other side. A moment later Wynn emerged with a piece of string dangling from his hand.
Almost simultaneously, Stephen stepped out of the trees to her right. He was carrying a young woman before him, his strong arm clasped about her waist as she fought and screamed at him.
For a long moment Wynn stood perfectly still, his hazel eyes wide. Then somehow he managed to break through the shock that had obviously held him immobile. He came forward, worry and dismay lining his face as he called out to the woman. “Cariad.”
Fellis watched as the beautiful Welsh woman held out her arms to him. Living so close to the border all her life, Fellis knew enough of the Welsh language to recognize the word cariad for the endearment that it was.
With sinking heart she saw Wynn hold out his arms. As Stephen released the girl, she went into them, crying on his shoulder as he held her close and whispered to her in their own tongue.
With lips thinned and brows raised high, Stephen interrupted them. “If you do not mind, there are several questions that have need of immediate answers.”
They turned to the knight as if only then remembering his presence.
Stephen went on impassively, his green gaze fixed on Ardeth. “Your lack of weapon leads me to believe you are not the one who fired upon us.”
“Nay.” Wynn spoke for her. “Ardeth would not do such a thing.”
“Really,” Stephen replied. “From my own position it appears that she has some stake in the outcome of these proceedings. She might wish to end the negotiations by killing me and breaking the treaty with Lord Grayson.”
Ardeth looked at Stephen with resentment as she replied. “I only followed Wynn. I knew why he was coming.” She sent a hate-filled glance toward Fellis. “But I would not have shot at anyone.” She glared at Stephen. “Do you really believe I would risk hitting my own dear love?”
Wynn shook his head and pulled her closer against him, his eyes on Stephen’s. He held up one hand, showing them the piece of string. “This is a broken bowstring. I found it a few feet into the forest there.” He nodded to indicate the direction.
Stephen took it. “I take it then that the shooter is gone?”
Wynn replied with a glance toward the wood. “I saw no sign of anyone. If the assailant broke his bow, he likely made haste to depart the vicinity.”
Stephen scowled at Ardeth. “This is no proof that she was not involved.”
Wynn tightened his embrace. “As you said, she has no weapon. Let me further reassure you of my own certainty that Ardeth would not try to stop this marriage from taking place, though she knows I must marry Lady Grayson to make peace between our people, she will not be displaced from my heart. Under Welsh tradition her children will suffer no stigma. I will treat them with the love and care they deserve because of the love I bear their mother.” He was looking at Ardeth then, speaking from his soul as if nothing in the world mattered except that she believe what he said to her.
Ardeth only stared at him with her heart in her sorrowful brown eyes.
Fellis watched this scene unfolding with a sense of loneliness that near brought her to her knees. Wynn would not set Ardeth aside but keep her as his true love. Fellis was to be as nothing to him, would live without even the honored position as his real wife.
And even as she understood the years of solitude ahead of her, Fellis could not help seeing the way Ardeth and Wynn held each other. The deep and true love they shared was obvious. What, she wondered, would it be like to openly show her own love for a man?
Her gaze went to Stephen. God in heaven, he could have been killed just now. The arrow had missed him by a mere breath. And no one seemed to care very much about getting to the bottom of that. For her part she would rather deal with her hurt over Wynn’s declaration toward his leman in her own time, not here before them all.
As Stephen spoke again, Fellis could see that even the knight seemed not to have a care for his safety, for his attention was centered on what Wynn had said. “Have you no care for Lady Fellis? She is to be your wife. How can you dismiss her feelings so easily?”
Wynn turned to her then. “Lady Grayson, I am sorry if what has occurred here this day has hurt you. I have not meant to do so. Ardeth and I have been in love since we were children. She carries my child even now. What manner of man would I be to forsake her?”
Fellis held her head high. It was becoming worse. She carried his child. How her heart ached for them, for herself. “There is nothing I can say on this other than I am sorry for the pain the situation has brought to your lives. As for myself, I know, as you do, what must be done.”
She was pleased to hear the strength in her voice and went on to address the matter that was uppermost in her mind. “What troubles me is that Sir Stephen was just shot at. You say it was not this lady, but that does not tell us who is responsible and what they hoped to gain. When last we met you said you would keep your people under control. Who then has had the temerity to attack the king’s own knight this time?”
“I have no answer to that,” Wynn replied with furrowed brow. “I would be willing to stand my own life as warrant that ’twas not the same man as before.”
Ardeth paled as he spoke and Fellis watched her recover herself with difficulty. Ardeth turned to Stephen and cried out in rage, “It is your fault that all of this has happened, knight. You came here and bewitched my love with talk of peace with your English king.” She looked to Wynn who was watching her with a frown. “I would not betray you, cariad, and will do as you say. But you know there are those amongst us who do not want this. There are several men who might be driven to this act. We have no need of the English king’s permission to do as we please. What is wrong with your own Welsh stronghold? We have no need of a castle. ’Tis their way, Wynn, not ours.” She broke down in a heaving sob.
He pulled her close, his gaze tormented as he took a deep breath and tried to soothe her. “I know you speak and act from your heart, Ardeth. But you do not understand that I am not free to do so. I must think of the good of all my people. There is no room for obstinate pride. I must go forward to forge this peace with Lord Grayson. The English king is strong and has a powerful army. ’Tw
ould be irresponsible of me to think I can defy him. I care not for myself, but many others would die needlessly. The benefits he has offered, license to a fortified castle and to hold a market, will do much to make our lands prosperous and our people happy. ’Tis a most unusual and generous overture. I would be thinking of nothing save myself if I refused it.”
Wynn turned to Stephen then with a sweeping gesture. “’Twould be plain foolishness to kill this man. He would only be replaced by an army. I must discover who has tried to harm him.” He raised Ardeth’s face with a hand on her chin. “Do you know who shot that arrow?”
She swallowed hard as she met his eyes. “How would I know?” She looked away. “As I said, there are those who hate the Englishman and blame him for what has happened. They believe he has done some evil to convince you to forsake me and marry the cripple…”
Fellis could not withhold a gasp of shock. Never in her presence had she been referred to as such, though in the past she had suspected that it might be in many people’s minds. This only confirmed her fear.
What amazed her was that, after the initial shock of hearing the words had abated, she was little affected by them. Over the past weeks, Stephen had helped her to see that she was not a cnpple. Not by birth, nor in her life. It was the way she lived and behaved that determined who she was. One small defect did not make her less than others, unless she allowed it to do so. At this moment she felt that Ardeth was more defective than she, for the Welsh girl had used her pain as excuse to lash out at one who meant her no harm.
She felt her chest swell with the joy of her newfound fortitude.
Stephen turned to Fellis, unaware of her moment of selfdiscovery, his eyes telling her how sorry he was for this insult. Then he swung back to face Wynn, his voice hard with anger. “Such talk has no place in this. I have brought this lady to you in good faith as your intended bride, to bring about a peace that will satisfy King Edward’s instructions. I will not have her insulted by this woman—” he motioned toward Ardeth disparagingly “—or any other person, no matter who they may be.”
Velvet Touch Page 19
