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Let's Get Weird: Poems, Songs and Other...From a 33 Year Old Boy Navigating the American Jungle

Page 4

by Gary Hawkes

CHAPTER

  Hate having to always be connected to technology,

  I guess the Real, REAL WORLD is more enlightening for me.

  I guess I’m a dying breed though

  We’ve already lost so much, instead of out brain, letting the machine grow

  Soon writing will be impossible for us

  Why write when you can even text on a bus?

  Synergy is the goal apparently, where man and machine are one, what a catastrophe

  We barely know ourselves, yet we’re going to make a copy

  There is no way to not see this getting sloppy, Bending any sensible moral compass beyond it modern limits

  Simply because we want to experiment

  Has to be a better way to understand the human condition

  Than inventing a machine to give us it’s rendition

  We’ve evolved too much in too short a time

  I don’t care if you don’t believe in evolution; it is what it, just look at the signs

  Our DNA may struggle to keep up

  As we constantly change our environment, lifestyle and diet

  Think about the stimuli that babies get from birth to eighteen

  You’ll see what I mean

  More nonsense information than ever before

  Processing all this will be a difficult chore

  Resolution of these issues is a must

  If we wait too long, our species could bust

  Our changes to the planet in our brief stay

  Is making dyer changes in a painful way

  We were given this great thing and we pissed it away

  All because a small few wanted more toys to play

  SO HERE’S THE CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT

  CORRECT THE COURSE AND STRIVE FOR THE LIGHT

  WALKING

  Don’t feel like walking anymore

  Going to call a friend of a friend

  Otherwise I’m liable to walk until dead

  Feet are blistered and bruised

  Soul feels like it’s been used

  But as soon as dried up and refreshed

  Will get the 3rd wind that has always made successful ones the best…

  …Well that didn’t work out surprise, surprise

  I guess some people work every day in order to survive

  I hate having someone tell me what to do

  Although sometimes it’s myself that I can’t get through

  Thoughts always get jumbled up in my head

  Because of this, I’m pursuing performing instead

  Of wearing a strangling cloth below my forehead

  I’m not a bust my ass all day long for not much pay eventually dying in the sun

  But I’m not a lazy ass either, moping around all day doing drugs like ether

  I take cues from many of the greats

  Careful not to tempt too many fates

  It’s clear to me I’ve left too much on the table

  Each new journey I discover wither I’m able

  To really be somebody in this supposed land of the free

  Even though I’ve been kicked around some; my optimistic eyes still see

  Not quite time to fire it up and stick a fork in me

  The natives have spoken, let the boy be.

  The walking portion of the trip, I think is done

  NO need for damaged feet, just to prove I’m someone

  In the end though, it seems like only a small number have their reservations

  Despite the color of my skin, my views come from the workers on those plantations

  Well, workers who worked all day every day, for no pay, with little chance for play

  I can no longer give the leaders from our history

  The holier than thou sainthood that has placed us on this trajectory

  They had many great ideas of course

  But did you know that none of them were non-white, all were male, and black people barely even counted (not by their choice)

  Government sanctioned oppression has lessened somewhat since then

  Nowadays it’s just being different or hard to explain that may get you locked in

  WAR ON DRUGS

  When will the War on Drugs End?

  2% of the people have my condition

  It doesn’t affect me the way it affects you

  I smoke every day, now what do you do

  The one substance that helps treats this thing

  Helps the prison builders’ money ring

  Our country is not as serene as you like to think

  Should a diabetic’s penicillin be stolen while on the brink?

  Again, I’m no danger to you or to me, so why make a stink?

  Who are we protecting by allowing this to go on?

  The Drug Cartels Rejoice the longer this goes on

  Its Illegality is why they the play the song

  I’m not a dead beat, I have a job and a college degree

  Don’t persecute me simply because marijuana, is not part of your pedigree

  Hooray, it’s the WAR ON DRUGS

  Still going on to this day

  Locking up people for self-medicating

  “All you need is Jesus” for your saving

  Ignore the benefits to the bitter end

  WE all know what’s best for THEM

  Good people just trying to work things out,

  Will get locked up, beat up, thrown away then discarded, moronic stupidity at the highest level, It should make you SHOUT!

  Hooray, it’s the WAR ON DRUGS

  Still going on to this day

  Locking up people for self-medicating

  “All you need is Jesus” for your saving

  Ignore the benefits to the bitter end

  WE all know what’s best for THEM

  WOMAN

  Met a good woman today

  The Kind I could see myself with

  Of course this was a single serving friendship

  It ends on the high

  Never worrying about the why

  Of a relationship and all the tediousness

  Does a new woman really give fulfill-ness?

  Well a couple hours in a car

  Makes me think I can go far

  There are other good women out there

  This one today as brief a friendship as it was, proved there’s no reason to be a bear

  Of course she’s married and that’s okay,

  It wasn’t about that with her anyway

  I don’t want to get in the way of the other

  But, just getting a free ride from a good person made me realize why I bother

  Man wasn’t meant to be alone

  I’m not even sure how to say no to certain ones

  I seem connected to all of ‘em but there’s only so much of me to go around

  Need a good woman to be a partner in life

  Let’s enjoy the years together and forget about wasted time

  Just a fellow good person I met randomly

  On a walk down Chuckanut Drive, Thank you Kimmy

  WORKIN’ AT THE FURNITURE STORE

  Hate to work and run

  But, I have to get to the sun

  Get down south before the fall gloom sets in

  These people have been good to me

  Having income is a way to get free

  But I can’t spend my time just using my body

  My mind and spirit being able to thrive is my antibody

  Get some cash over these next few weeks

  Have a cushion for the next trip; ensure there’s no dangerous leak

  Get somebody to come along

  Maybe a fine lady that’ll sing my song

  Until then I’ll try not to bore

  ‘Cause I’m workin’ at the furniture store.

  WRITE SONG

  How many more do I write?

  Before I’m confident in my right

  To truly make my own way, and live my own words

  Words that are heavily inspired by the one
s who came before

  It is my turn soon, before there is no more

  I’m both lazy and ambitious constantly at the same time

  Getting paid will depend on the ability to rhyme

  Being original is truly absurd

  I’ll just take cues from the greats, to not feel like a curse

  It’s refreshing to not always have to pave your own trail

  It’s much easier for the train to stay on the rail

  YEAH! FOR SHIT DAYS

  Lost my kids, lost my house

  Family thinks I’m crazy, there ain’t no way out

  Car just went tits up, that’s after the bike got messed up

  $39 to my name

  Me and others struggling to get by are one in the same

  Drink some Rolling Rock to pass the time

  Eventually something’s gotta give, I don’t deserve this, I just want happiness to be mine

  But these kinda shit days put it in perspective

  In some countries you wouldn’t have $39 even if you’re a detective

  Today sucks, but that only means hopefully it’ll get better

  Going to use 30 of those dollars for a fun ORSU dinner

  Because fun time are important

  Living for today on this planet

  So, yeah for shit days

  Makes you appreciate the good days

  It can’t always be the fly ways

  Sometimes gotta be beat up and kicked around to prove you’re here to stay

  On those shit days, get up and prey, or whatever you do to get through

  There is tomorrow, it is true

  LONG ROAD

  She seems reclined to point and stare

  Misguided tyranny she seemed to care

  The dawn had been turbulent but good

  The following days weren’t what they could

  Our creations have stood strong

  Though the process is difficult and long

  Now it’s the time to try and make it well

  Running out of things to sell

  But opportunities present themselves in strange new ways

  As long as follow the path that has been laid

  It’s a long road

  Always done what I was told

  But now it’s time, to get it right,

  And listen to those other lessons that have been sold

  The unyielding passion of the two involved

  Doesn’t really get anything solved

  Remember the good, and learn from the bad

  And life will continue on, just as it should

  It’s a long road

  Always done what I was told

  But now it’s time, to get it right,

  And listen to those other lessons that have been sold

  LOVELY

  She was once lovely

  A sight to see

  Encountered the joker in all his glory

  But saw through the opening story

  The dimming inner glow that was still there, fortunately

  Noticing the glow and prodding it along

  Until he found some of his song

  Many years have passed since then

  The Joker’s now fine in his own skin

  Her love is still of that old Joker

  The one who claimed her as a lover

  Needy and helpless below her

  The joker no longer needs her

  But sometimes mistakes her

  For the one who was once a partner

  But that was long ago

  Nowhere left to go

  Joker’s games don’t amuse

  Her ideas only gloom

  And Joker’s dawn will be coming soon

  A chance for rebirth in the bright new moon

  Their creations get to languish until understood

  Concern for them

  Happiness for them

  Will soon be given

  The Joker has his ways to turn things around

  And then glory will be unbound

  BEAST

  Dormant Beast

  Too much sleep

  Need the release

  Unknown speak

  Grab a hold now

  Time for the ride

  Up into the sky

  Look the devil in the eye

  See what he tries

  See what she likes

  Learn its vice

  Control the beast

  Maintain the feast

  Then get some sleep

  Read between the lines

  Close to desperation time

  Don’t fall for the Devil’s lies

  Align with the beast

  It’s aware of the feast

  Make the devil quickly flee

  See what he tries

  See what she likes

  Learn its vice

  AT THE HOUSE

  Listen to a Pany talk

  Then take a girl for a walk

  Race back for the Circus in the pit

  A game on the court, competitive spirit

  Beer flowing, girls are showing

  Relaxed vibe; concern unknowing

  Time to play, after a long work day

  We’re cool with it this way

  E.C. chimes in to have his say

  “Don’t get in trouble today”

  “Behave yourselves today”

  Brothers’ laugh, spring is here at last

  The girl with Shoes; doesn’t fit

  Carrot man with the bigger girl, doesn’t mind a bit

  509 Flows from Fouts

  As the Reds with their Bowl Key discuss what 9/11 was about

  The Leather Pants Man dances with delight

  As the Ranger has the 1st one in sight

  The Darkness descends ready to fight

  Only to find the Fire Wrestler has quite the might

  But Crazy Number Three has something to prove

  He just lost his upper tooth

  Fraggle Rock rages in the den

  Fritz objects to the goofy sensation

  The Shins are toned for this show

  Ready to see what the Hawaiians know

  Doctor D makes a joke,

  About what it takes to make the woman soak

  Curious George feels out the crowd

  As his Deftones Fan from old, starts to get loud

  The three Wests compete with each other

  Survival of the fittest brother

  The New Recruits are eager to please

  “Just be Yourself. Put your mind at ease.”

  Jungle Love plays in the Cottage

  None of it was a mirage

  RESTLESS BEAST

  The Beast grows restless

  How long to resolve this mess

  Feed ‘em soon before he goes over the edge

  Jumping over the barrier hedge

  Combustion is peaking without the feeding

  Needing the cool good feeling

  Buildup of tension waiting for release

  The beast takes care of it with seamless ease

  Breath in the cool ocean breeze

  Calming vibes puts mind back in ease

  Rest Beast

  Almost there

  Not too long to show you’re aware

  And if The Others care

  Stalking and stirring

  Waiting for its turn

  To let lose, the freeing urge

  Flow freely with care

  Even if the others are aware

  Let them snicker if they must

  This was not a bust

  Rest Beast

  Almost there

  Not too long to show you’re aware

  And if The Others care

  IDLE

  Sitting Idle

  Fidgeting Docile

  Restless past

  Sailor’s mast

  Satan’s Cape

  Terrible waste

  Longing for wide future

  Open mind still unsure


  Broken deal, mended conditions

  Winged in light; the apparition

  Flowing in,

  Mating in,

  Raising in

  Following close

  Too Close

  Case Closed

  Rebirth in Old Region?

  Faith low, it seems

  Nothing goes as dreamed

  The new round stalls the drowned

  Lifeline broken; hand over the crown

  Immense light from the excited crowd

  It’s time, the Shadow Voice’s say,

  Take a bow

  MATERIAL

  What to do with all this material?

  I’ll be stopping soon, can’t be an imbecile

  Whatever the point is, will find out soon enough

  When time is relative, there’s no need to always be tough

  Nose doesn’t have to always be to the grindstone

  It’s important to get out and see the light from time to time, without taking on another loan

  Don’t misunderstand, I have a plan,

  And I’m confident I can

  But it doesn’t mean I think it will be simple

  Factors that could slow or prevent, there are ample

  Even so, the ones who made it breathe just like I do

  Wither you think I can make it or not, is not really up to you

  MISUSED

  Still learning to mast the experience from so long ago

  Are the fables true?

  Is it so rude?

  To feel a little blue

  Pacify it before it starts the game

  Others wouldn’t want the same

  But they need someone to blame

  Get to the conclusion

  As fast as fast

  It’s not like it was going to last

  But given the opportunity,

  There was just a shiver

  A dimming glow in the fall of winter

  Help me make you understand

  This is what I am

  It’s okay to be confused

  But there’s no reason to be misused

  Fortunately for you I guess, you pass the test

  Maybe in your past life you were less of a pest

  Although maybe it’s the opposite of what you think

  Maybe I proved before that I’m capable of righting the ship, before the sink

  Help me make you understand

  This is what I am

  It’s okay to be confused

  But there’s no reason to be misused

  Personification of the new golden heir

  Living in a place without care

  Mournful loss needs to be scorned,

  As wicked days that start to tear

  It’s an illusion or can it be taught

  Spontaneous ideas in the realm of good that can’t be bought

  Help me make you understand

  This is what I am

  It’s okay to be confused

  But there’s no reason to be misused

  ESCAPE

  It’s been a long few months

  Soon will it be over

  No knowing

  The gloom can cover

  Examine the previous

  Which ones were in jest?

  Living with the fading gust

  Memories then cloud with dust

  Spiritual quest

  That spooked them all

  Rush to judgment

  Feel bitter toward them all

  Soon no more

  Escape from this place

  Already lost so much

  The child’s face

  No saving grace

  Longing, it causes to hesitate

  Follow inner order

  They’ve been avoided

  The new path borders

  It’s a long way there

  Best to take time

  It’s been foretold what is mine

  EXPRESS YOURSELF

  Expressing words on paper

  Gets the process rolling

  It’s time to decide where to hide

  Life just doesn’t stop going

  Until that last breath gets me

  I am going to keep searching for that deeper meaning

  The philosophy behind the being

  There is a cost to want to be free

  Sell the soul to the highest bidder

  Use the cash to run and dash

  Oh well, if I’m a sinner

  Hey, I’m a realist, I understand Man’s needs

  But, violence it seems doesn’t need to be a part of any reality scenes

  Even with fit mind and body,

  Can’t always expect the unexpected

  Not believing in the human soul is one’s own folly

  But we can’t get too ahead of ourselves,

  Our love of all devices,

  Has led to many death accomplices,

  Yet we maintain course, like confident little elves

  FATHER

  Go ahead Father, sucker punch me in the head

  Threaten me with violence because I’ve broken the silence

  Asserting myself to you and to other I’ve always known

  Except the only response has been:

  You are wrong

  You do not understand

  You could not be a part of any plan

  You should get a job, I know you’ll hate, but there is no other way you’ll make it

  As I’ve shown you all your life, you are weird and different

  And we’ll only respect you if you do what we want

  Is it wrong to be an individual?

  If one makes a mistake, should they be ridiculed and made to feel like shit?

  Well, at least I’ll have the fuel for a future hit

  It doesn’t matter the exact words you see

  I can feel your emotions more than you can possibly

  My father had real rage in his heart when he came at me

  Fearful rage; this is how is asserts his part

  Making others feel stupid and criticizing anything that makes that person happy

  I can’t stand this part of my family

  I don’t care if I sound sappy

  FATHER-SON FIGHT DAY

  Raising a boy to be like the old man

  Be careful what you wish for with that kind of plan

  In this existence

  It’s been my experience,

  The bond is strained at best

  Once things build up for far too long,

  Criticism of every wrong

  Get limbered up and stretched out

  You may want to stay

  Today is Father-Son Fight Day

  The rules are extremely simple; no punches to the head and that’s it.

  The other unwritten rule that all men of course follow, still exists.

  Get rowdy with the old man to try and settle your differences

  Sometimes it’s just fun to fight too; it gets your point across

  Fight with hands, no weapons needed,

  This is how men battle when all logic is lost, indeed

  Kick the old man’s ass to put him in his place

  Maybe he’ll quite is negative face,

  After words crack open a beer, and put on a good face

  Enjoy the day that should be an annual holiday

  It’s Father – Son Fight Day

  EXPLORE THE WORLD

  It happened so fast, without a warning

  The golden morning

  Catch a glimpse before they start snoring

  Will it ever happen?

  Hard to say,

  Just enjoy the day

  It’s an unbearable agenda to keep this up

  Having to walk the way others step

  The shoes are different on those feet

  But conformity, it always impedes

  Break away from the mold from time to time

  It’s okay, it doesn’t mean you’re soaked in Lyme

  The
fortunate ones have great resources

  I have to make do with past choices

  Constantly reminded of mistakes I’ve made

  I’m my own worst critic; I don’t really need you to say

  Get out and Explore the World

  Get away from the Bubble you’re been living for

  It’s a big wide world, Can’t you see

  I ain’t crazy, let me be

  FREEDOM

  Holy Shit

  Will I ever write a hit?

  Makes me want to spit

  Can’t find anything to fit

  This crazy life

  Barely getting by

  Maybe just get high

  Let the world pass me by

  Don’t be a douche

  Put on your shoes

  Get dressed and learn the clues

  Sometimes you have to pay your dues

  That fortunate one

  Son of a son of a son of rich man’s son

  Parties with cares for no one

  Talent they have none

  Don’t worry about them

  Despite their arrogant venom

  They’ll pay the price for steeling freedom

  Making others feel dumb

  Proclaim you FUCK YOU to the righteous elite

  I ain’t washing their feet

  I don’t follow all of Jesus’ speak

  Working away in this awful heat

  HELL YEAH, ROCK ‘N ROLL

  Listening to songs I’ve heard before

  Millions of times

  Still trying to find that perfect rhyme

  Each one has its own story, both theirs and mine

  This one here was played at my wedding

  Although I was too tired “After Midnight” for any meddling

  Using the gold standard of Rock ‘n Roll

  To get the confidence to just let it roll

  Hell yeah Rock ‘n Roll

  No more auto tune, just soul

  Let’s feel the beat the good old way,

  Some rap is still good, the roots w/ Questlove know how to play

  No more overhyped crap that doesn’t have that soul

  I wanna get down with rock ‘n Roll

  Hell yeah Rock ‘n Roll

  No more auto tune, just soul

  HOPE

  Processing the past has kept me awake

  Sometimes too much to take

  Was it all a waste?

  Not much makes since in this brave new world

  As the fog diminishes, and light strives to turn

  Nowhere left to go but up

  Hopefully done with the last cup

  Enjoyable even the messing up

  Is this really better than nothing

  There has to be something

  Hold out hope

  For the helping hand

  Despite the setbacks, I still think I can

  The future is not written

  Or is it

  It seems some already know where their heading

  Making do with what was given

  Not resorting to stealing

  NO more debt just to get a feeling

  Work to make it even if over qualified

  Demoted job with no need to try

  Hold out hope

  For the helping hand

  Despite the setback, I know I can

  DOWN TOWN

  Fast, as quick as you can

  Throw it away

  Flush it down

  Enjoy the calming trip down town

  No worries about tomorrow

  Fearless of the pain left

  And the time spent

  Throw it all away

  Until you learn another way

  Is there one?

  What happens in the end?

  Does the hand extend?

  Keep up the hard work that accomplishes nothing

  Are you really fighting for something?

  What happens when you stop fighting?

  Does the world stop spinning?

  What about the others?

  Do they stop taking?

  Throw it away

  Flush it Down

  Enjoy the calming trip down town

  Watch them enjoy the fruits of your labor

  As you pray for forgiveness from your maker

  For bad deeds you’ve probably done few

  The others however is more than a few

  But don’t worry, they may throw you a bone when their plate is threw

  Throw it away

  Flush it Down

  Enjoy the calming trip down town

  DRIFT

  Drifting along

  Singing my songs

  Longing for the road

  And stories untold

  Have another drink to make it right

  In the end, is there even a light?

  What’s the difference?

  Here now

  Live now

  Don’t need to know how

  Grab the lightening that’s bottled up

  Partake in what is deserved from the golden cup

  No more messing up

  Until the sky shows its face

  While the dawn occupies space

  No saving grace

  Amazing adventure may not be

  This life’s been used, fleetingly

  Wasted away in the dark moon light

  Moving oppressively

  Avenging the lost souls,

  Who missed their piece of bread

  Detriment instead

  DYLAN

  Listening to Dylan

  As I remember what was given

  Wasted it away but it’s not too late

  Grab what you’ve got to say

  Open up and prey

  Today is a bright new day

  No worries about yesterday

  The music will set you free

  It’s so plain to see

  It’s not just the melody

  Open up your heart and let your words flow free

  Honor the gift, don’t be schmuck

  It’s not all about luck

  It ain’t about money either

  About being able to see

  The light will set you free

  Let the words go, others will pay their own fee

  It will help along the way

  Not always time to play

  Brave new world is reaching a climax

  Grab ahold of someone, fast

  The music will set you free

  It’s so plain to see

  It’s not just the melody

  Open up your heart and let your words flow free

  IMPOSSIBILITY

  Can’t always blame for things out of your control

  Let the dice roll where they’ll roll

  But you sometimes have to know

  Which way to go

  Not always going with the flow

  But that’s me

  It’s how I feel free

  Impossibility

  There is no such fee

  Go until you can’t anymore

  Then do four more

  Life isn’t fair

  But it’s a better hand than others have been forced to bear

  Some have more than enough to spare

  What I have seems to be rare

  Time to use before falling through the bottom layer

  That’s me

  It’s how I feel free

  Impossibility

  There is no such fee

  LONG SLOW BREATH

  Take in a long slow breath to fully take it in

  This is your life

  You’re slipping

  Into something that can’t be foretold

  By what was known in the previous encounter

  An illusion of wonder

  That suddenly takes you under

  Follow the signs that were laid out

  Don’t think too much

  It causes a debilitating crutch

  T
oo many things unable to snuff

  Alleviate the tension as best one can

  There is no master plan

  Take in a long slow breath

  Calm yourself into the good feeling

  There’s reason to keep on believing

  Work hard in order to play

  Opportunity doesn’t knock every day

  Forget the wisdom of yesterday

  Advance forward every passing day

  Allow the others to think what they want

  Nature is Heaven’s Park

  Ease the mind in the calming dark

  Blood should only get you so far

  Take in a long slow breath

  Let the old dreams rise again

  Concern no longer about lost sins

  MEMO

  Didn’t read the memo in the beginning that explained the rules

  Wait, did I get one?

  Doesn’t look like I’m the only one

  This is the way it is, or so I’ve been told

  You have been sold, down river

  To the highest bidder

  Because someone who died said you’re a sinner

  What about those over there?

  Don’t point and stare

  They’re unaware

  Of what it means to be bare

  They’ve been presented a golden ship

  Destructive, but they like the fit

  It helps them feel on top of it

  Is there room for more?

  No, we’re the only one’s it made for

  How do you know that cheer?

  Because we started here

  MINIMUM

  Working for the minimum

  Is hard to earn a livin’

  Especially when you have debt from believing

  In the lie they keep on selling

  About how to get the life you dreamed of if willing,

  Go to class every day,

  Afterwards, get a big payday

  Sure I have some friends from then that do more than alright

  Others like me, are barely getting by

  If I make the same as a high school degree

  Why take on the debt of a college degree?

  So, I actually make less when you factor in the debt

  College is just another bet

  Some win, and win big

  Many others’ dreams pass them by like a fart in the wind

  Knowledge is power, but it’s not enough

  Money is what gives you the stuff

  But there is strength in numbers

  Is it me to lead them? Maybe some words will inspire action

  To steer the course from un-satisfaction

  RISE UP

  Lost and found

  A hopeless journey that’s been bound

  Searching for something

  Anything

  To give this one meaning

  She smiled at this challenge

  Eager to pounce when it couldn’t mend

  Falling further down the line

  Absorbing what is in this time

  Can You Rise UP

  Don’t Rely on Luck

  Or Family’s trust

  It was all a bust

  They laugh at their saving grace

  What it means to take up too much space

  Eager to renew until it’s over

  When he gives his final slumber

  What will it mean then?

  Not really anything

  Despite this

  Dark twist

  Forging forward at fast clip

  Tie up the ends that are loose

  This journey never smoothes

  Can You Rise UP

  Don’t Rely on Luck

  Or Family’s trust

  It was all a bust

  RISE UP

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