Defect

by Danielle James

  I pushed my pants down my legs and kicked them off my feet. My dick sprang out, eager to get back to home base. I picked Solo’s tiny body up and she yelped, wrapping her limbs around me for support. She was already so wet for me. I could smell it in the air. I felt it slip against the head of my cock. I angled my dick right at her opening and pushed in slowly. Deceptively slow. She had no idea that I was about to fuck all my frustrations away.

  I braced her on the dresser for a second and draped her legs over my forearms making sure not to leave her warmth. I bounced her petite frame up and down on my shaft while she screamed my name like rain in a thunderstorm. It fell down on me, cleansing me of the hurt and pain I’d been walking through.

  “Ezra!” She whined with her eyes squeezed shut. I couldn’t shut my eyes though. I wanted to look right at her while I made her come over and over, up and down my dick. I looked down and bit my bottom lip when I saw how slick my dick was from her cunt.

  I lost myself inside of her in the best way. I needed to control something. I needed to feel like I was in charge of my life at that moment. I bent Solana up in the most sadistic ways and fucked her like I had no morals all over her room. All over every single wall and surface until we knocked down pictures hung on the walls and perfume and lotion bottles gathered on her dresser. I fucked her up against the window, pressing her thick chocolate ass against the glass. I didn’t care who saw what.

  We ended up in the hallway against the rail. Solana was bent over with her legs locked around my back. I don’t even know how that shit happened but I’d never been so grateful to be with a yogi. Her body was amazing.

  When I couldn’t hold on anymore, I held her in place and shot my seed deep inside of her. I finally shut my eyes. I was spent. My muscles were useless. I let Solo down and she slid to the floor, trembling. Sweat glistened on her gorgeous cocoa skin and tears tinted the whites of her red.

  She looked like she’d been through war.

  Damn.

  “You okay?” I asked her, resting against the wall.

  “Um…I don’t know,” she creaked. Her voice was raspy and raw and nothing like the sweet soft song it usually was. She smoothed a hand over her hair in vain. It was too fucked up to save by smoothing. Rogue spirals stuck up from her head like antennas searching for a signal.

  “You need help getting up?” I asked her. She didn’t speak. She only nodded. I reached down and scooped her up tossing her over my shoulder. I plopped her down on the mattress and she curled up, yanking the sheet over her naked body. “Yo, Solo,” I called out. I wanted to know if she wanted me to pick up dinner or order in but all I got in response was snoring.

  I nodded my head and went into the bathroom to clean up. When I came out, I heard the front door open and close downstairs. I poked my head into the hallway and frowned. “Amaris?”

  “Ezra?” She walked up the steps and I regretted standing there in nothing but my boxer briefs. “Oh…shit.” She slapped her hand over her eyes and shook her head. She smiled the entire time though. “Um, where the hell is my sister?”

  “Sleeping,” I said, looking over my shoulder into the bedroom. She was still snoring like a grown man who’d been at work all day.

  “Jesus Christ, um…okay.” Amaris peeped through her fingers into the bedroom and made a noise right before laughing loudly. “You really did break the fucking bed? Oh my god. I was going to cook dinner because I know she’s stressed out. Do you guys have dinner taken care of or…”

  “Actually we don’t. Solo was going to get started on dinner but…things happened.”

  “Things. Right.” She turned her back to me and the bedroom then sighed, letting her shoulders slump a bit. “Put on some clothes and bring yourself downstairs.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Amaris.”

  “Uh huh.” She laughed her way down the steps and I went into the room to get dressed. I put on a tank top of a pair of basketball shorts. Before I left, I reached down and shook Solana.

  “Baby, wake up. Amaris is here.” She grumbled in her sleep and pulled her knees up closer to her chest. Yeah, there was no waking her up.

  Downstairs, Amaris had cauliflower, broccoli, cheese and spices on the counter along with a chopping board and a huge knife. I looked at the vegetables and then looked at Amaris. “You know how to cook, Ezra?”

  “A little bit. I’m not a chef in the kitchen but I won’t starve if left to my own devices.”

  “That’s a no then. Let me show you how to feed a vegan.” She slid over and I stood beside her at the counter. I didn’t know Amaris well but she made me nervous as hell. With Solo, I felt at ease. I felt like I could be myself and not worry about anything. Around Amaris, I felt like I had to be on my best behavior or I would get in trouble. Maybe it had something to do with her being a principal.

  “What are you making?” I asked. She turned to look at me and tilted her head back a bit.

  “Good lord you’re tall. You’re taller than the refrigerator.”

  “Yeah. Makes it easy to reach the cereal,” I joked with a smile. Amaris looked at me for a few beats and shook her head.

  “Okay, so you’re corny. Good to know. I’m making cheesy broccoli and rice. Sometimes, when Solana gets stressed she avoids carbs to balance out her mood. Carbs make her feel heavy and slowed down. She still whines about wanting comfort food though.”

  “Which is basically all carbs,” I shrugged.

  “Exactly. You have to learn how to keep her happy when she’s like that. Instead of actual rice, we’re going to mince this cauliflower up and it’ll be our rice.”

  “What kind of cheese is that though?” I picked it up and held it in my hand.

  “Vegan cheese. She only likes this brand though.” I watched Amaris chop up the cauliflower until it looked like grains of rice. She handed me the knife and said, “Your turn.”

  “My turn? I don’t know how to do that,” I frowned.

  “How else are you going to learn? You can’t just be eye candy, Ezra. Chop up some damn cauliflower. You wanted to bag a vegan. Now she got you scraping your head on the ceiling and chopping up vegetables.” I let out a laugh and Amaris laughed too. She was cool with me even though she made me nervous. Maybe that’s what big sisters were for.

  Once we had the casserole in the oven, we sat on the couch together and watched Netflix. “Hey, how is everything with your mother, if you don’t mind me asking? Solana was telling me a little bit of what happened.”

  “She told you everything. I know she did. You’re the only other person she has to talk to.” Amaris nodded and pulled her feet under her body. “I called her on her bullshit today. It was fucked up.”

  “I bet. You know none of that is your fault, right? Munchausen by proxy is a really deep and twisted disorder. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. It’s abuse.” I looked at her and leaned over a little closer.

  “What did you call it?”

  “Munchausen syndrome. It’s when a patient makes up a false illness to gain medical attention. They hurt themselves and go to the hospital to get diagnosed. Sometimes they nearly poison themselves. Other times they concoct phony symptoms. When someone has it by proxy they make up an illness for someone under their care. A child, a spouse, whatever the case is, they create a false illness or exaggerate an existing illness to wield control and gain attention. They can physically hurt the people they’re manipulating or they can psychologically damage them” I looked at Amaris with wide eyes full of disbelief.

  “There’s a name for that shit? I thought she was just out of her goddamn mind.”

  “She is. Don’t get it twisted. What she did to you has a name though. It’s not the worst case in the world but it’s still a horrible thing she did. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.” Amaris patted the back of my hand and sighed. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired, to be honest. I grabbed my clothes out of the house and Solana let me crash here.”

  “Of course sh
e did,” Amaris shook her head.

  “I’m not trying to take advantage of her, Amaris.”

  “I didn’t say you were.” She shifted positions on the couch and looked at me. “Can you explain something to me, Ezra?”

  “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

  “How did you two fall so hard so fast?” She really wanted an answer to something I didn’t know how to verbalize. “Solana is very much her own person and she’s never cared what anyone else thought about what she did with her life so I get that. I know my sister. This is a little out there for even her though. I think you’re great, so please don’t think I’m being a bitch.”

  “Nah, you’re good, Amaris,” I chuckled. “I don’t know how to answer that for you. It’s easy to say Solana is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s true but it’s easy. There’s something else between us. There’s this crazy energy that only we can feel. You can literally feel it spark between us.

  She gets me. Nobody has been able to understand me besides Everett. Solana got me the first time we talked. She was able to get through to me. She was…like me. Damaged but alive.”

  “Damn. That’s deep,” Amaris stared past me at a point only she could see. “Damaged but alive.”

  “Solana is my sunflower. She’s a bright ray of sunshine. I can always count on her to make me laugh or smile even when I don’t want to. I thought I was always going to be a defect for the rest of my life. She pulled me out of that shit by being herself. It was like I didn’t have a choice but to fall in love with her. I still haven’t told her flat-out that I’m in love but…”

  Amaris cut me off with a wave of her hand. “What? You haven’t told her you’re in love with her? Ezra. Come the hell on now.”

  “I know. We were taking things one day at a time. She hasn’t said it either so I’m not leaving her hanging. She knows how I feel.”

  “Don’t say that and don’t be a fuck boy. Tell her you love her. Life is too short. I’m serious.”

  “You’re right.” I couldn’t deny that. I also couldn’t deny that she’d put some things on my mind. I saw why it was so easy for Solana to tell her sister everything. She was so real but she was also open to hearing and listening.

  Amaris took the cheesy broccoli rice casserole out of the oven after a few more minutes and waved her hand over it. “See? You helped make this. She’ll love you forever now. Not that I think that’s a problem. I’ve never seen her this open.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I said, my voice turning serious.

  “Yeah, shoot.”

  “How did she get involved with Vince?” Amaris rolled her eyes for a full ten seconds at the mention of Solana’s ex.

  “They met at the gas station. Solana was busy being Solana. She was wearing a yellow sundress with her long hair blowing in the wind. Looking like melanin dipped in gold. She was putting gas in the bug and I was waiting on her to hurry the hell up. Vince saw her and it was game over.”

  I knew the feeling. When I first saw Solana, I was awestruck.

  “Did they ever have a good relationship? I know she said he didn’t turn abusive until he found out about Malachi but you know firsthand.”

  “I never liked Vince. He was always too fucking controlling. He wanted to possess Solana. He wanted to keep her to himself. The way you and I are sitting here talking and hanging out? That would never happen with Vince. He hated me. He hated anyone that he thought took her away from him.”

  I instantly understood why Vince hated his own son. That shit was fucked up. I hoped every damn day that Malachi got away from his dad. I knew how it felt like to have a parent that wanted to keep you just to punish you.

  “It got worse when they moved in together. Solana was his golden hen. She could do no wrong as long as she did everything he wanted her to do. I had the hardest time trying to explain to her…that wasn’t love. So, in my opinion, their relationship was never good. There were always red flags.” I saw Solana’s relationship with Vince in a whole new light after talking to Amaris. Shit, I saw a lot of things in a new light after talking to her.

  …

  SOLANA

  “I’m not eating that shit, Solo,” Ezra laughed. I was trying to feed him a forkful of vegan scrambled eggs but he was having none of that shit.

  “It’s not bad. It’s just tofu.”

  “I hate tofu. No matter what the hell you do it’s disgusting.”

  “Stop being such a baby.” I climbed in his lap, letting my legs hang over the sides of his chair. He groaned and opened his mouth because once I was on top of him he couldn’t ignore me anymore. I fed him a forkful of eggs and he made a face like he wanted to vomit. I erupted with laughter and hopped off of him.

  “Nah. This shit is gross.” He spat it out in a napkin then went back to eating his chicken eggs. Can’t say I didn’t try. “Let’s go. I want to set my tea blends out in the studio and then I have to go take my test.” He smiled with so much pride that I thought my chest was going to crack open.

  Ezra had been working hard for weeks taking GED classes after work every other day. He’d taken a few practice tests and aced every one. I told him I thought he was ready to take the real test. It was my hope that by taking the test, it would get his mind off everything that happened with his mother yesterday.

  “Okay, okay. Let’s go.” I finished my breakfast of tofu scrambled eggs and fruit then put my plate in the sink. Ezra grabbed my keys and folded his too tall, too bulky body into my Volkswagen or as he called it my yellow tin can. I hopped in beside him and we pulled off. I noticed him looking across the street at his mother’s house as we drove by.

  “Are you going to get the rest of your stuff after you take the test?” I asked him.

  “Yeah. Whatever I can carry over.” Mrs. Fredericks’ car was still in the driveway and it was nearing ten o’clock. That was abnormal for her since she was usually up at the crack of dawn for work. “I see she stayed home today. I can feel her staring at us out the window.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I said with a creeped out shudder. Once we were off the street, I turned up the music and Ezra shook his head.

  “You have to blast music for a five-minute drive to the studio?” He quizzed.

  “Yes. I do. You can always walk if you don’t like it,” I stuck my tongue out at him and he flipped me off playfully. When we rounded the corner to find somewhere to park, my stomach sank. I saw yellow caution tape and police cars blocking off a group of parking spaces near the front.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I unhooked my seatbelt and leaned forward to see better. I couldn’t tell whose store all the commotion was happening in front of but judging by the spiky way my energy felt…it was Sun Goddess.

  “Solana, you should stay in the car while I go see what the hell is happening.” Ezra had to park a block away from the studio because so many cop cars surrounded it.

  “No. Fuck that. I want to know what’s going on.” The moment the car was in park, I opened the door and rushed toward my studio. Ezra was right beside me.

  Chunks and shards of broken glass littered the sidewalk like diamonds. Every time I took a step toward the door, glass crunched and rolled beneath my shoes. My stomach sank somewhere so far down it felt like it disappeared.

  “My studio,” I gasped. A brick had been thrown through the bay window and I could see that everything inside had been trashed. It felt like I was walking through water at first but then my speed picked up and before I knew it, I was running full-speed toward my studio with tears blurring my vision.

  “Solana,” Ezra grabbed my arm before I crossed the yellow caution tape with my keys in my hand.

  “I’m sorry folks, we’re going to have to ask you to step back,” an officer said motioning for me to move.

  “This is my yoga studio,” I said with a wobbly voice. “What the fuck happened?” Anger took over quickly and I had to flare my nostrils to pull in enough air to breathe. The cop looked me over and asked me to provi
de ID and proof of ownership. Once I was able to prove who I was, I was allowed inside.

  My space was trashed. Ezra groaned when he saw the tea blends he’d been working so hard on scattered across the floor and the jars he kept them in smashed to bits. I cringed when I saw the computer broken in pieces on the floor. Half the keyboard was in one place and the other half was across the room somewhere.

  I rushed back to the Reiki room and cried when I saw my massage table shredded and tattered. The black leather top had been sliced from one end to the other and white fluff carpeted the floor. Ezra wrapped his arms around me tight and I buried my face in his chest.

  My dreams were destroyed.

  “We need to ask you some questions, Miss Monroe.” I looked up from Ezra’s chest when an officer approached. I wiped my tears and nodded trying my best to put on a strong face. How could I though when my studio had been trashed on purpose?

  I knew exactly who to blame for it all too.

  “Okay. Give me a moment,” I said. The officer hesitated for a second then left me alone with Ezra. “You need to take your test, please.”

  “Fuck no. I can’t take my test while you’re here dealing with something this fucking heavy. You always drop everything for me.”

  “I know but this is important. I’m just going to be talking to the cops for the next few hours. If I need you, I’ll call. I promise but don’t miss out on this. I’m sure we already know who did it.”

  “Damn, I was hoping you weren’t thinking it was her too.”

  “Who else would it be?” I smacked my lips together and tossed my hand in the air.

  “I agree with you,” Ezra said easily.

  “Let me talk to the police but please go and take your GED test. I’d feel like shit if you missed out because of me.”

  “All I’m going to be able to think about is you. All of my answers are going to be Solana.” How the fuck did he manage to make me smile on one of the worst days ever? He had superpowers, I swear. He leaned down to kiss me and I pushed him toward the front door even though he could have easily walked through the fucking hole in the window. My heart ached every time I saw it.