Defect

by Danielle James

  “It’s okay, Malachi. Anything for you, remember?”

  “You’ll get sick,” he squeaked, grabbing my hand. I looked at Vince and he smiled a sickening smile at me.

  “Eat some, Solana. I don’t have all day.” My lips trembled as I cut into the rare filet. I steadied my breathing and took a small forkful of meat in my mouth. “More,” Vince urged. “I’ll tell you when you’re done.” I was done before the first fucking bite. I had to force myself not to vomit at the heavy metallic taste rolling around on my tongue. Nothing about eating something I made a personal vow not to eat was funny. Vince was grinning like the devil though. After the third bite, I began gagging involuntarily. My eyes watered and I had to shut them to focus on not throwing up all over the table.

  I choked down half of Vince’s food before he called it quits. “Good girl. Now you can stop.” He waved the server over and asked for a to-go box while I broke out in a sweat trying to keep everything down.

  “Solo, are you okay?” Malachi asked barely above a whisper.

  “I’m okay,” I lied. I was far from okay and seconds away from being sick. I pulled in air through my nose and pushed it out through my mouth until my stomach settled long enough for me to open my eyes.

  “Since you were so obedient, you can keep him for the rest of the week. I’ll get him this weekend before I have another visit from CPS.”

  “I can go with Solo?” Malachi asked excitedly.

  “Are you stupid? You having a hard time hearing?” Vince snapped at Malachi.

  “Come on, Tyke. Let’s go.” I stood up and my stomach roiled. I pressed my lips together and held my hand out for Malachi. Vince stood and held open the gate to the patio for me like he was a gentleman or something.

  I pressed my free hand to my stomach and walked out, trying to ignore the seasick feeling attacking me. “Let me give you a ride back to your house, Solana.” Vince’s eyes slid up and down my body and I wished I had on a parka.

  “No thank you,” I gritted out. I checked my phone to see if there were any messages from Ezra. I saw one saying that he was in the parking lot. Relief flooded my veins and I scanned the cars for my yellow bug. I saw it near the back of the lot and I broke out into a short jog.

  “Where the fuck are you going without a car?” Vince called after me.

  “My ride is right here,” I called back. Ezra unfolded himself and got out to stand beside my car with his arms across his wide chest. He was only surveying the area but he looked like he came to fuck shit up. I wasn’t mad.

  Vince halted in his stride once he saw Ezra and gawked at him for a few beats. Vince was six-feet even. Ezra had a whole six inches on him. Shit, he had inches on Vince in more than one department.

  “Solo,” Ezra started to speak then he noticed the little person clinging to my hand with wide eyes. “Oh, what’s up little man? Are you Malachi?” Ezra’s face went from an intimidating scowl to a soft smile in no time.

  “Uh huh. You’re huge. You’re like the Hulk!” He had to tip his head all the way back just to look at Ezra.

  “Uh thanks,” he chuckled. He opened the door for Malachi and I told him to get in. Vince tucked his tail between his legs and headed back to his car quickly before Ezra could say anything to him. “What the hell is going on?” Ezra asked in a hushed tone. I shook my head at him and rushed over to the nearest patch of grass then I threw up every bit of filet mignon Vince made me eat. I fell to my knees pushing against the prickly grass as I let everything out. Ezra rushed over and stooped down beside me.

  “Solana, what’s wrong?” He rubbed my back in circles while my stomach revolted over and over even after everything was gone. Snot dripped from my nose and tears fell from my eyes. I felt like shit. “Baby, do I need to call the ambulance?” I could hear the panic in his voice and I wished I could reassure him that I just needed to get everything all the way out and I’d be okay. I shook my head and tried to force my body to stop pushing bile out.

  I felt something cool on my forehead and I realized Ezra was holding my amethyst pendant against my clammy skin. I forgot I gave him the necklace to hold. He must have carried it everywhere with him.

  After a few minutes, my stomach settled down and I stopped dry heaving into the grass. It didn’t stop the fact that I felt horrible though. Since my stomach was empty, it cramped relentlessly with the need to vomit again. Ezra’s strong hands lifted me up then he gently set me in the passenger seat.

  “You got sick…didn’t you?” Malachi asked sadly.

  “I did. I’ll be okay though. Let’s get you out of here.”

  Ezra was visibly shaken and the minute I could talk without feeling like the world was swimming, I’d explain everything to him. “Solo, are you okay? I need to hear that you’re okay,” Ezra said. His voice sounded calm but the way he gripped the steering wheel had me concerned for my car.

  “I’ll be okay. Let’s go back to Sun Goddess. It’s been unattended for too long. I haven’t boarded up that window yet.”

  Without another word, Ezra drove us back to the studio. Luckily, nothing had been disturbed thanks to the police tape. “What happened to your store, Solo?” Malachi asked when we walked in. I’d gotten most of the glass up but there was still a substantial amount crunching beneath my feet.

  “Someone vandalized it.”

  “Vandalized?”

  “Yeah. They trashed the whole place, Tyke. Sometimes people do bad things for no reason and it really sucks.”

  “I’m sorry. I can help you clean up.”

  “No, baby. Come over here and I’ll order you some pizza, okay?” I sat him behind the front desk and looked at Ezra as he walked in. I knew he wanted answers and I had every intention of giving them.

  “Yo, I need to know what’s going on. I feel like there’s a lot you’re not telling me.” I knew from his tone he wasn’t angry. He was frustrated and scared. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me against his body. It was exactly what I needed. I needed to feel his energy.

  “I know. Let me get him some pizza and we’ll talk.”

  “I want some pizza too,” he said before kissing my forehead.

  “Hulk, you like pizza too?” Malachi perked up from behind the desk and smiled at Ezra.

  “Yeah I do. Also, I have a name. It’s Ezra.”

  “Ezra? Oh. I like Hulk. Not because you’re big but you’re like a superhero. You came at the right time and saved me and Solo.”

  I smiled a little even though my stomach hurt. “He’s my superhero too,” I told Malachi.

  “Is he your boyfriend, Solo?” Malachi scrunched his cute little face up and I laughed, resting my head on Ezra’s chest.

  “Yeah. He is. Is that okay with you, Tyke?” Malachi shrugged his shoulders and nodded.

  “It’s cool. I like him more than Dad. He won’t hit you will he?” I stiffened at his words and so did Ezra.

  “No. I won’t ever hit her. I’d chop my hand off first,” Ezra said with all the sincerity in the fucking world. He squeezed me and kissed the top of my head.

  “Good. I didn’t like when my dad hit her. It was scary.”

  “Hey, let’s not talk about scary things right now. You wanna go with Hulk and get some pizza?” I looked up at Ezra and he nodded.

  “Yeah! Let’s go, Hulk.” Malachi ran over and stared up at Ezra, still in awe. He let out a short scream when Ezra picked him up in the air and carried him out of the studio.

  “I’m going to the spot right down the street. You want a ginger ale?” He asked me.

  “Yeah, thanks.” I watched his strong back flex as he walked out with Malachi high on his shoulder. My mind went crazy thinking about how he’d be as a father. He was still so young though. I shook the thoughts from my head and pulled out my phone to call the insurance company.

  I sat on the phone with them for twenty minutes before I had an appointment for an agent to come out and survey the damage. Once that was taken care of, I continued cleaning up. Ten minutes later, Ma
lachi and Ezra were back with pizza, wings, and hot ginger tea for me.

  “I realized you didn’t want soda so I drove for a little while and found some ginger tea. It’s not my tea but it’ll do.”

  “Thanks,” I smiled a little and sat Malachi down in one of the clean areas with food and my phone so he could watch videos on YouTube. “I need to board this window up,” I sighed, with my hands on my hips.

  “I’ll board up the window.”

  “I need to finish cleaning this mess up and I need to put the Reiki table outside.” The never-ending to-do list swooped down on me and settled heavily in the center of my chest. I tried to hold back the tears but they came out of nowhere. I’d been through too much for one day. I was so weak from everything leaching my energy.

  “Come here.” Ezra held me in his arms and rocked me from side to side until I calmed down.

  “I went to the store to get some tea,” I began, wiping my eyes. “That’s when Malachi spotted me and there was Vince. He told me that if I went to lunch with him, he’d let me keep Malachi tonight.” The rest of the story spilled out between sobs. I tried to keep my tears to a minimum because lord knows Malachi saw me shed enough tears over his father.

  Ezra’s energy turned from calm to raging but he didn’t do anything or move a muscle. I could feel it shifting and swirling around him like a deep red aura.

  “Solana, where does Vince live?” He asked in a quiet voice.

  “No, Ezra.”

  “Where does he live?”

  “You’re angry right now. I’m not telling you where he lives. I don’t want you to do something stupid.”

  “Solana, he pretty much kidnapped you and manipulated you into doing what he wanted you to do then he made you eat meat. What the fuck? You think I shouldn’t go over there and cave his goddamn face in? Look at how skinny Malachi is. It’s clear he hasn’t been eating. He’s trying to finish that whole fucking pizza by himself.” He blew out a puff of air from his flared nostrils and shook his head. “I just need five fucking minutes to talk man to man.”

  “No. There won’t be any talking and you know it.”

  “Conversations between fist and face are still considered talking.”

  “No, they’re not. I know you’re angry, baby. I know. I’m angry too. I’m angry and hurt and scared.” I put my hand on his chest and he put his on top of mine.

  “I’m going to get some wood for the window because I can’t just stand here. I’ll be back.” I nodded and went to sit with Malachi. The smell of pizza was making me nauseous but he was so happy I didn’t even care.

  “Solo, can I stay with you forever?” He asked.

  “I’m working on it, Malachi.”

  “I think the universe messed up when it gave me my mom and dad. I think I should have been your son. It’s okay though. We can fix it. Then everything will be better.”

  “We’ll fix it, Tyke. I promise.”

  …

  EZRA

  I carried a sleeping Malachi into the house after midnight and laid him upstairs in the guest bedroom. Once he was down, I lugged the new bed frame from the porch into the house so I could put it together for Solana. She was still moving a little slow and I hated seeing her so down.

  Even sunflowers wilt sometimes though.

  It took me hours to get the board on the window and finish cleaning up all the broken things littering the floor of the studio. I didn’t want Solo doing a damn thing though. She’d been through too much and I needed to work past my anger because everything inside me was telling me to find Vince and put an end to his life.

  I’d kill for Solana.

  The thought hit me hard and fast.

  I’d kill for her without a single regret.

  I unpacked the bed frame while she was in the guest room taking the dirty clothes off Malachi and sliding new, clean ones on him. She told me she didn’t want to wake him to put him in the shower because that was probably the best sleep he’s had in weeks.

  I was nearly done with the new frame when Solana came into the room with tears in her eyes. I stopped everything and motioned for her to come over to me. I was sitting in the middle of the bedroom floor inside of a metal square that would be the frame for the bed. She stepped inside and settled between my legs.

  She was so perfect right there.

  My missing puzzle piece.

  “He has bruises all over his torso. I know Amaris has been making reports but why the fuck hasn’t CPS done anything? Why are they still investigating?”

  “They’re failing the fuck out of him,” I said.

  “I have to step in. I know Amaris wants me to wait but I can’t. Not after this. Vince doesn’t want his son he just isn’t allowed to terminate his rights voluntarily. Not in California.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “I know. I told him if I petitioned the court for custody and Malachi wanted to go with me, the court would probably terminate his rights based on the open child welfare case but he doesn’t want me to go through the court.”

  “So the fuck what? Who cares what he wants if it will get Malachi the hell away from him?” I just met the little boy but I could see he was something special and I hated hearing about or seeing kids get abused.

  “That’s where I’m at with it right now,” she said, wiping her face. “Shit, I need to call Amaris.”

  “Call her while I finish the bed. I’m almost done.” Solana nodded then stood to her feet. She was on her way out the door when she paused and looked back at me. Her dark hair swung across her back fluidly.

  “Ezra, how was your test today? I never even asked. I am so sorry.”

  “You had a ton of shit going on today. I’m not holding it against you, Solo.” She walked back into the room and looked at me. Her hand was fixed to her slender hip and her exotic eyes were narrowed. I laughed a little and said, “I passed.” She squealed happily and launched into my arms. I wasn’t complaining. I loved when she was in my arms.

  “I’m so sorry we can’t celebrate and do it big. You deserve that and so much more, Ezra. You worked hard for this.”

  “I have an idea for how we can celebrate,” I smirked.

  “Oh my god. You’re a pervert.”

  “Let me know when you’re up for it.”

  “Up for what, exactly?” She asked, lifting her eyebrow.

  “Letting me eat your ass like a cupcake.” I licked my lips and ran my hand over my chin. Stubble quickly turned into a light beard but as long as Solo liked it, I loved it.

  She bit her bottom lip and giggled. “Wow, you’re…” She shook her head never finishing her sentence.

  “Let me know,” I told her again. I’d put my mouth anywhere on her. She was a fucking goddess and she had my entire heart. I never knew any type of feeling like the one Solana gave me. I didn’t know what forever held but as long as I knew she was attached to it, I didn’t care.

  I finished putting the bed together while Solo talked on the phone to Amaris. I could hear her sister all the way through the damn phone when she told her about the shop being vandalized and running into Vince. Shit, hearing it all over again made my anger flare up too.

  I had every intention of finding that motherfucker. I had to wait until Solo calmed down and felt better first. She was my main priority. Well, now that Malachi was with us, he was my main priority too.

  Once the mattress was on the frame, I laid down for a minute and checked my phone. I had forty-two missed calls from my mother.

  Forty-fucking-two.

  She’d been calling and texting me all day. I made the choice right there in bed to block her ass. I didn’t have anything to say to her. What she did to Solana’s shop was the last fucking straw as if I needed one.

  Seeing her beautiful face crumble when she realized what had been done to her studio, made me sad for her. Sun Goddess was such a warm and welcoming place and it was starting to take off too. I knew it was just a hiccup but that shit still hurt. I knew all the hard work and
effort she put into the place daily and to see it destroyed was devastating.

  Once I was done, scrolling through my phone, I put a sheet on the bed and went into the kitchen, passing Solo on the couch. She was still trying to talk Amaris down. Right after I grabbed a bottle of water, someone rang the doorbell like the damn police.

  “What the fuck?” Solana mouthed to me, holding the phone away from her face. I shrugged and went to answer it.

  I should have known exactly who to expect on the other side.

  It was my mother.

  She looked like shit and she was wearing a hospital bracelet around her wrist. I noticed because she held her hand up for me to see. “What do you want?” I groaned, rubbing my temples.

  “Ezra, you need to come home. I’m sick. I know you still love me because you sent the police to the house yesterday. You wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t care about my safety.”

  “Oh my god, is that your mother?” Solana said from the couch.

  “Yeah. Unfortunately,” I grumbled.

  “Amaris, I gotta go.” I heard Solo’s footsteps rapidly approaching and all I could do was move out of the way. Mom picked the wrong fucking time to come over for a visit. I wasn’t going to do a damn thing to stop Solana either. Not after the fucked up day she had.

  “Why the fuck are you at my house? You want to pay someone to put a brick through my front window over here too?” She seethed. I stood off to the side and put my hands in my pockets. I was going to watch the show.

  “Excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I came here to get my son back.”

  “Your son isn’t going anywhere with you. He can’t stand to look at you and I don’t blame him. You’re a piece of fucking trash. I gave the police your name so now it’s only a matter of time before they connect your stupid ass to the vandalism.”

  “I didn’t vandalize anything. You’re mistaken.” I knew the minute she opened her mouth that she was lying because I knew what she looked like when she lied.

  She definitely did that shit.

  “Whatever. Get off my property before I call the police,” Solana snapped.

  “Ezra, come home. I’m sick. I don’t know how much longer I have and…”