Defect

by Danielle James

  This was one of those times.

  I drove to the yoga studio in silence because I needed to think about a lot of unpleasant things. Things like not being with Ezra or him feeling stifled in our relationship if I were granted custody of Malachi. Shit, what if he got me pregnant with a kid of our own?

  What the fuck was I thinking telling him to put a baby in me?

  See, that’s exactly why dick that good needed to come with a warning label. He had me out here losing my morals and my mind. Shit.

  I pulled up at the yoga studio and walked in. I hated that most of the sunlight was blocked by the huge slab of wood patching the broken window. Ezra walked around the corner with his nose in a jar of herbs and leaves and my fucking heart melted.

  He was so beautiful and he’d come so far. I stood there looking at him with hearts in my eyes and he slowly brought his gaze to mine. “You okay?” He asked.

  “Yeah, I guess.” All the things Amaris said to me that made my mind go crazy started to vanish. All the concerns about Ezra only being eighteen and not ready for a family or a life with me were replaced by the feeling I got in my gut when I was around him. “I just came from talking to Amaris.”

  “Oh…is she cool with you not wanting to do the foster parent thing?” He asked.

  “She doesn’t have a choice.” I set my bag down at the front desk and walked over to him. He offered me the glass jar and I dipped the tip of my nose inside. It smelled beautiful. Like roses and sugar.

  “I think I have this blend down. I’m getting ready to write the recipe down.”

  “What’s it called?” I smiled at him as he pulled out a pen and pad of paper.

  “Solana.”

  “You’re so sweet, Ezra. I don’t know how I ended up with you but the universe makes no mistakes.”

  “None.” He smiled up at me from his paper and I rubbed my chest hoping to ease the fluttering in my heart. “What’s really on your mind though, Solo? I know you’re thinking about something so what did Amaris say?” The longer we spent together, the easier it was for him to read me. I didn’t know if he noticed but his hands heated when he touched me too. He was so conscious of his energy that he knew exactly how to direct it and read it.

  “We started talking about me and you and if you’re really ready for the possibility of me being Malachi’s legal mother.” He looked up from his writing and waited for me to finish. “I started wondering if I’m keeping you from being free.”

  “Why are we talking about this again? I told you I’m ready for whatever happens. If you get custody of Malachi…”

  “When I get custody,” I said, cutting him off.

  “When you get custody of him, I’ll be right there. I’ll always be right there. Why does it matter that I’m eighteen? That won’t stop me from doing anything but buying liquor.” He put his pen and paper down then stepped toward me. “What’s the alternative if you and I aren’t together? What do we do?” He asked seriously. My heart hated the thought. It rejected it immediately filling my brain with fuzz and static. There was nothing outside of Ezra.

  “I-I don’t know. I never thought about it.”

  “You never thought about it because there is no other possibility for us, Solo. If we weren’t together we’d be miserable until we were together again. We’d waste so much time with people who weren’t right for us only to run into each other later and realize how goddamn stupid it was for us to walk away from what we had. Tell me you don’t know how true that is.” I was silent because he was absolutely right. “Exactly,” he said rubbing his hands over his thickening beard. “Why waste years when we got it right the first time? You think I’m going to magically turn into someone else the older I get?”

  “No, but maybe you’ll gain more experience and…”

  “I’m gaining the experiences I’m supposed to gain right now. Being with you is an experience. Meeting Malachi and letting him wiggle his little way into my heart is an experience. You know that. You know everything I’m saying is true. Solo, you’re scared of the future and I guess that’s an experience you have to go through.” I looked up at him with wide eyes filled with wonder. How the fuck did he get so wise?

  “You’re not scared of the future, Ezra?” I asked honestly.

  “Nah. I’m not scared of the future because I know you’re in it. That’s all I need to be sure of everything that will happen. I hoped I was enough for you to not be scared of the future.” I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed the space between them.

  “You are enough,” I said adamantly. I meant it too.

  “Then don’t let Amaris scare you. It’s her job to put things on your mind because she’s so practical. There’s nothing wrong with that but there’s one flaw in her reasoning when it comes to us, Solana.”

  “And what’s that?” I asked him. He had me fully riveted.

  “We’re impractical. We don’t follow the rules so the rules don’t apply to us. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t give a damn how frustrated I get. Men twice my age get frustrated and walk out on their families so age has nothing to do with it. It’s about love and responsibility. I’ve lost enough in my life at this point to know I don’t want to lose another motherfucking thing that I love. I love you. I’m not going to lose you.”

  I swallowed down the thick lump of emotion clogging my throat and nodded at him. “I love you too,” I told him, finally. I had to stop holding those words in. Life was too short.

  “I know you do.” He gave me a cocky smirk that set my body on fire but made my heart swell at the same time. “Come here and give me a kiss with your scared ass.” He held his arms out for me and I found my happy place right against his chest. He tipped my head back and pressed his warm mouth against mine.

  Every fear I had melted away into a stream on the floor. It rushed away from me and was replaced with confidence in this grown ass man that showed up in my universe broken. Shit, I showed up in his universe broken too. We rebuilt together and now we were such integral parts of each other that there was no separating us.

  Solana and Ezra against everything.

  “You still want me to put a baby in you?” He asked. I felt his stiff dick pressing against me and I whined a little before pulling away from him.

  “Yes, but I gotta find a lawyer and…”

  “Uh huh. A lawyer and what else?” He asked in between kisses to my neck. I leaned my head to the side while Ezra’s big hands found my hips. I forgot what else I had to do. He was drowning me in his energy.

  He was so fucking thick pressed against me that it was all I could concentrate on. “What else do you need to do, Solo?” He asked in that sexy gruff voice that made all my hairs stand on end and made my nipples turn to pebbles begging for his warm tongue.

  “You,” I said reaching behind me to touch him. I slid my fingers up and down the back of his neck while he nibbled on my shoulders and slid his hands under my shirt. His fingers went right for my breasts, pinching my nipples. Tiny barbs of pain rushed through me. Ezra used his other hand to slide my leggings down and run his fingers along my pussy lips.

  “We’re right in the middle of the studio,” I whispered like we were in front of an audience.

  “Did you miss the big ass board across the window? Nobody can see in here right now. So grab those ankles for me, beautiful. I want to see that pretty wet pussy looking at me.” Something about his voice made me do whatever he asked. I grabbed my ankles so damn fast.

  Ezra thrust into me and I cried out the minute he was fully seated inside of me. His dick was so addictive. His slid in and out of me slowly, making my knees far too weak to hold my weight.

  “Ezra,” I called in a breathy tone. “You feel so good.”

  “So do you,” he groaned deepening his long, hard strokes. He handled me like I’d been his forever. He lifted me up with his arms under my legs and bounced me on top of his dick.

  “I love you,” I moaned while he fucked me nice and hard just the way I liked.

 
; “I love you too, Solana.” He drilled deeper when he changed positions and started fucking me from behind. I thought I would explode from being too full of his thick cock. “You’re tiny but you take this big dick so well. You’re such a good girl.”

  “I’m gonna come!” I squeaked. The feeling took me by surprise but I wasn’t mad. He had the key to my body and he was going to unlock everything he possibly could, including extremely fast orgasms that left me gasping for air.

  He braced me against a nearby wall and I pressed my palms against it while he held on to my hips and pulled me back against his dick.

  In and out.

  In and out.

  In and out.

  My body sang his praises like a choir on Sunday morning. I came in a shower of shudders that forced my eyes shut. Then I felt him come. His dick stiffened and grew making my walls stretch and burn in the most beautiful way. It burned the way a sunset does right before the moon fills the sky. I was ablaze with all sorts of colors. Pink, gold, and purple danced behind my closed eyes.

  “Dammit,” he cursed, setting me down on my feet. I found my leggings and held them in my hand for a minute before I put them on because I was in a fucking daze. Nothing made sense. “Your pussy is magic. I can eat it all night and never get full and fuck it all day and never get bored. I think I need to do something about that.”

  “What are you going to do?” I asked, laughing. He picked up my left hand and kissed my fourth finger.

  “I need to give you something to remind you who you belong to.” I couldn’t slow down the beating of my heart if I wanted to. My tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth and there was no use trying to pull it down. “Don’t people tie a string around their finger so they don’t forget stuff?” He asked.

  “Uh huh,” I nodded, trying to unglue my tongue. He walked over to where the new tea station would be and found a red string used to hold together a bundle of leaves. When he came back to me he motioned for my hand and I gave it to him. He tied the string around my ring finger putting it in a bow that sat right at the front above my knuckle. “Remind me after all the drama in our lives calm down that I have a new last name I wanna give you.”

  I closed my eyes for a second and then opened them, shaking my head. “Ezra, you’re too fucking much.” I stared at that red string like it was a ten-carat rock on my finger. It was just as special. “I don’t think that’s the type of thing you’ll forget,” I said.

  “You know my brain is kind of defective.” He thumped his fingers against his temple and I shoved him playfully. “Now, go ahead and find your lawyer.” He slapped my ass and I bit my bottom lip at the sting. Once my head was on straight again, I was able to concentrate enough to find a lawyer that would help me petition the court for custody of Malachi.

  …

  “I’m going to get Tyke from school. You coming?” I asked Ezra. He was busy finishing up his Etsy shop so his face was buried in the phone while he picked out keywords and loaded pictures of his blends in glass jars. I loved watching him get so deep into it.

  “Yeah, of course. Let’s go.” We walked outside to the car and a horn sounded over and over. I watched him scan the area and then I watched irritation flit across his honey brown face.

  It was his mother.

  She was such a damn stalker. She knocked on my door at least three times a night once we got home for the evening. We started ignoring her ass. I did order security cameras to install on the parch though because I wanted to use every ounce of footage to show Detective Barnes that she was harassing me and Ezra.

  “Fuck. I’m so tired of her following me around.”

  “I can go talk to her,” I offered, more than happy to curse her ass out like I’d been doing all week.

  “No. I’m tired of this shit. Isn’t there something I can do about it?”

  “You can get a restraining order but she lives across the street so…” I shrugged my shoulders and Ezra opened the door for me.

  “Maybe if I ignore her she’ll go away,” he reasoned, getting in the car.

  “If only. You’re going to have to do something because she’s never going to leave you alone and I swear to god if I get Sun Goddess fixed up and she vandalizes it again, I’m going to jail for fucking her up.”

  “Hey, if you get to beat her ass that you’re going to give me Vince’s address.”

  “Fair enough,” I replied. We pulled off and I glanced over my shoulder to see her flowing us in her car and blowing the horn for him to pull over. I rolled my eyes and massaged my temples before I did something stupid like hurl shit out of the window at her car.

  That woman made me irrationally angry.

  She was still tailing us when we pulled into the parking lot of Malachi’s school. I wasn’t even shocked. Ezra got out of the car and stalked over to her, taking long, purposeful steps. I wanted to go with him but it was time for me to pick up Malachi and I didn’t know what the fuck his father was going to do. I didn’t want him riding the school bus and going home to an empty house without food though, so until Vince contacted me directly, I was going to keep Malachi.

  When the last bell of the day rang and kids flooded the hall, I was standing right there waiting for Malachi. Amaris saw me amongst the crowd of little people and mouthed I’m sorry. I blew her a kiss and she smiled a little. After Ezra fucked some sense back into my mind, I was fine and what she said didn’t bother me one bit.

  “Hi, Solo! Where’s Hulk?” Malachi asked, holding my hand and looking around.

  “He’s in the parking lot but he’s here,” I assured him.

  “Okay. Hey, what’s this on your finger?” He asked, looking down at the artfully tied red ribbon.

  “Hulk gave it to me.”

  “Oh. Is it to remember stuff? I saw that on a show before and my grandma told me that’s how people remember things.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” I said as we walked out of the school.

  “So what do you need to remember?”

  “To tell Hulk something a little later on.”

  “Tell him what?” Malachi asked, grinning up at me. He knew he was being nosey.

  “Stuff,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

  “Solo, can we get McDonald’s?” He tugged on my hand and I groaned.

  “Can we get something healthier than McDonald’s? Let’s have a black bean burger.”

  “Ew. Hulk said your vegan food tastes like bushes and branches.”

  “Well, Hulk needs to stop lying. He still eats my vegan food.”

  “Okay then, I’ll try it. Can we have McDonald’s ice cream?”

  “Okay, Tyke,” I sighed.

  “And French fries?” He batted those thick lashes at me and his eyes twinkled. I’d do just about anything to get weight on him so I agreed to the French fries too.

  “Solana,” Vince’s voice made me cringe when I heard him call for me from across the parking lot. Malachi looked up at me. The joy that was present in his brown eyes a moment ago vanished into thin air. My heart sank into my stomach.

  “I have to go back? Solo, I don’t want to. I thought you said you were working on me staying with you forever.”

  “I am, Tyke. I’m working on it but it takes time.” Vince headed over to us and I sighed heavily knowing I had to let Malachi go.

  “You ready to go out to lunch again and earn yourself another few days with the boy?” He slid his index finger down my arm and smiled at me. “You know soon, I’m going to make the price a little steeper if you want to keep taking him. I miss being inside that chocolate pussy.” My hands went straight to Malachi’s ears because Vince was a disgusting human who had no regard for what he exposed his son to.

  “What the fuck did you say?” A deep, angry voice sounded from behind me. I looked down and realized I was standing in the shadow of a redwood. Vince looked up and shielded his eyes from the sun. “You already have a death wish. You want to make that wish come true a little sooner?” Ezra stepped in front of
me and Malachi. I felt a little tug on my hand and I looked down.

  “Hulk is here. We’re okay now.”

  “Malachi, you have to go with your dad. Remember we talked about this? He said you could only stay with me for a few days.”

  “I don’t want to go with him,” he said defiantly.

  “You must be Solana’s new man,” Vince cleared his throat and took a step back.

  “I am. And you’re lucky we’re at a public school and Malachi is right here or else I’d put your teeth in the pavement.”

  “I don’t want any trouble,” Vince chuckled. “I didn’t know she was spoken for. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. Look, I don’t know what she told you about me. Things between us didn’t end as badly as she makes it out to be or else she wouldn’t still be close to my son.”

  “I know exactly what happened between y’all and I know how you treat your little boy. Don’t try to smooth shit over because you don’t want smoke with someone bigger than you.”

  Vince chuckled again and then cleared his throat. This was the first time I got to see him face to face with another man who was challenging him around every corner. He backed down like a little bitch and it tickled the fuck out of me.

  “Hey, man, I’m just here to pick up my son.”

  “Hulk, please. I don’t want to go with my dad. He’s mean and he’s not going to feed me and…” I could see the pain on Ezra’s face as he looked into Malachi’s eyes. I felt that shit in my chest too.

  “I hate that we have to send you back, buddy but right now that’s how it has to be,” he said kneeling down to Malachi’s level. I hugged him and put my lips close to his ear so that only he could hear what I was saying.

  “Malachi, you can always text me if you need me. Okay?” He nodded even though tears streaked his cheeks.

  “Come on, Malachi. Let’s go.” He flinched at his father’s voice. I let his little hand go and Vince grabbed it way too tight, making him cry out. I had to place my hand on Ezra’s chest before he fucked Vince up.