Paradisal Tragedy

by Ada Marie

  The tears began to fall harder as she realized there was no escape. She fell to the floor and sobbed just as she felt Travis’s arms around her. Rather than welcoming them she punched him, and then repeated it time and again until finally he grabbed her wrists. She felt safe but alone. How could this be, how could he still want her after everything she’d done? How could he for one second still feel the need to be around her?

  “Stop it, talk to me. It’s not going to change anything,” he tried to reason with her for what felt like the millionth time.

  “Stop saying that! Just stop. You don’t get it Travis. I can’t...” she began but couldn’t find the words.

  “Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together. We can get past it.”

  “No we won’t! You don’t get it. You don’t get past getting raped!”

  Nineteen

  Travis froze in his spot after Annabella’s confession. He watched her hold her head in her hands as she sobbed, kneeling on the floor.

  For weeks, she’d been hiding a secret from him and she finally let him in. But how was he was supposed to react to this? What did he say? He meant what he said; it didn’t change anything between them. However, how did he help her through something so horrible? He’d had his speculations about the secret she’d been carrying, but never did he believe it was this bad. Raped? How could someone hurt such a wonderful person like her, in such a violent way?

  “Bella,” Travis said, kneeling down beside her, but when he went to touch her she pushed him away.

  “Don’t. Just don’t touch me,” she said to him, but it was the opposite from what she wanted. She wanted to feel safe again, and in his arms was the one place she felt safe.

  “Don’t do that, don’t you start pushing me away. I told you whatever secret you were holding in, didn’t matter to me. I meant that I’m not going anywhere and you can push me away all you want, but I’ll never stop fighting for you,” Travis told her as he put his arms around her again.

  “I said stop.” She said pushing him away “You can’t touch me. I’m no good anymore Travis.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Yes it is. And it hurts so much. I want it to stop. When you found me on that cliff, I wanted to jump. I should have jumped. All these memories of him come racing back and it scares me. I can’t be happy, he won’t let me,” she cried.

  “Only you have that power to be happy. Don’t let him take that from you. Don’t let him ruin everything we have.”

  “He already has. What kind of guy wants a girl who was weak enough to be raped?”

  “Don’t ever say that again. This wasn’t your fault. He was stronger than you. Don’t you ever for a second think that just because I know the truth that I don’t want you, because I do. I still want Annabella.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she’s one the person in my life that gets me. The one person I can talk to. And she makes me happy. I don’t care what happened in her past, I just care about her,” Travis explained to her in hopes that she’d finally let him touch her.

  Annabella felt the world crashing around her. She let her secret out, yet Travis still wanted her. Why? How could he possibly still want her after she told him what happened? He tried to comfort her by putting his arms around her but she pushed him away and went into a hit fit.

  He accepted it though, he let her use him as a punching bag until she finally gave in and let him hold her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest.

  She didn’t know how any of this happened, avoiding Travis, while it was hard, was bearable. How did she end up here? How did she end up letting out her biggest, darkest secret? No one was supposed to find out. She was supposed to hide it forever and she was supposed take it with her to the grave. The last thing that she ever wanted to do was burden someone else with the secret that she’d locked away for so many months.

  “Who did this to you?” Travis asked as they still sat on the floor, her in his arms.

  “It doesn’t matter. It won’t ever matter.” She didn’t want to relive the past any longer. Just the thought of his name made her sick.

  “It does matter, tell me who do this to you, and we can get you justice.”

  “It’s too late. I showered and all the evidence is gone. I don’t want to relive that awful night, Travis, I just want to forget. I just want to feel safe again.”

  “How did this happen? I mean how did he get a chance to hurt you?” Travis asked as he picked her up and laid her on the bed. She moved so that she was lying on his chest.

  “I was on the track team. One day after practice Aubrey, and my other friends were supposed to be waiting for me because my car was being fixed from an accident that my brother got into while he drove it. They promised to be there, but they blew me off, not a call, not a text, nothing. The next day I found out they all went to a party. Anyway, I would have called Matt, but he was home sick with the flu. I called my brother, but he was an hour away so I had to wait. I decided to go into the gym and workout. It was quiet, which confused me because I couldn’t hear him coming. I knew him. In fact, I trusted him. He was my brother’s friend and Matt’s older brother. There he was telling me how beautiful I was,” Annabella started, finally opening up for the first time about it.

  “He kissed me in the gym. I hated it. I was dating Matt, and I couldn’t understand how he could do that to him. I pushed him away from me, but he shoved me against the wall. I got away from him at first. I ran away and hid in the locker room but he found me, he grabbed me and he pinned me on the floor. I couldn’t move; I was too weak. I tried to fight him off, but I couldn’t. Travis, I said no, I swear. I begged him to stop but he wouldn’t. He covered my mouth so I wouldn’t scream and then he ripped open my clothes and raped me. I cried through the whole thing. I begged for my mom; I just wanted her to make it better the way only a mother could. It hurt so badly. He took everything from me that night. A part of me died that night, and I’ll never get it back.” She finished and Travis tightened his grip on her.

  “Shh. It’s going to be aright, sunshine. We’re going to get you better. We’re not going to let that son of bitch who did this to you ruin the rest of your life. We’re going to make the pain go away. I promise.”

  “It won’t go away, Travis. I’ve tried, but it always comes back to haunt me,” Annabella explained through her tears. The truth was, no matter how hard she tried, it always came back.

  “Shh. Just sleep, okay? You’re exhausted, now get some rest and we can talk about it later.”

  “I’m sorry, Travis.” Annabella said just as she drifted into unconsciousness.

  Travis watched Annabella sleep for what felt like hours. He could see the redness on her face, the evidence of old tears and all that pain. He could see it all and it broke his heart into a million pieces. He wanted to take it all away, to make it all better for her, and as hard as he wanted that the reality was that he couldn’t.

  She had to face this fear on her own. The only thing he could do was be there for her. He hated what this was doing to her. He hated seeing her so broken up inside. She’d been living in Chandler for months, so she’d been carrying around his secret for even longer.

  He couldn’t imagine the pain that she was inflicting on herself by keeping quiet. She needed to tell someone, to get it all out in the open. Travis felt his heart breaking even more as he thought about the reason she couldn’t bear to be touched at first, the reason she was waiting for their relationship to end, it explained why she always wore that oversized sweat shirt, why she never wore a bathing suit that day they went cliff jumping.

  He was unsure of how to take in any of this. It was a given that his past wasn’t perfect, but it was a walk in the park compared to hers. She was all alone in this. She was scared, horrified and completely alone in the dark.

  Travis v
owed for it to all end here.

  No longer would she be alone. Nor would she suffer in silence with the pain of this secret or be afraid of the man who betrayed her trust. He was going to break the control this had on her life. He would do whatever it took to make her see the light. Even if it meant resorting to his old ways…

  He felt a tear run down his cheek as he thought about everything that she had to go through. He’d take her pain for her if it was possible, anything so long as she didn’t have to deal with it. He hated seeing the one person he cared about most in this life such a mess.

  “Travis?” Annabella said, opening her eyes. She saw the tear that ran down his cheek, before he was able to wipe it away.

  “Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked.

  “Are you crying?” She’d never seen him cry before.

  “No, I’m fine. You didn’t answer my question,” Travis stated, trying to take the unwanted attention away from him.

  “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

  “No, it’s not. It because of him. He hurt you Bella. And I pushed you last time you were here. If I had gone any farther… I’d be just like him,” Travis started, but she cut him off.

  “Don’t do that, don’t blame yourself. Travis, I wanted to be there with you as much as you did. I didn’t freak out because of what you did, I freaked out because of what you said. You called me Anna. No one ever called me that except for him. It just brought back that night like it was yesterday. I’m sorry that I freaked out on you, but you have to know that it wasn’t you,” Annabella explained to him. She hated the man who did this to her. She hated the man who was ruining her chance to be happy with Travis, but she wasn’t going to let him compare himself to her rapist.

  “Bella –”

  “No, stop Travis, you didn’t try to rape me. What we were doing was consensual; you’re not anything like him. Please don’t ever think that you are.”

  “I hate this; I hate thinking that you’ve been carrying the secret around with you for months, all alone. I don’t want you to be alone,” Travis told her.

  “I’m not alone anymore. I have you. And that means more to me than anything else.”

  “I’ll always be here for you, but I think that you should tell your parents and your brother.”

  “No. I can’t tell them,” she said. How in the world she could tell her mom she was raped? She was the most positive person Bella knew; she wasn’t going to take that away from her. Her father was acting like a complete and total stranger; there was no way to tell how he’d take the news. As for Ryan, it was his friend. How could she possibly tell her brother that one of his best friends forced her to do something she begged him to stop doing? How could she possibly tell her brother each and every last detail of that night? She couldn’t.

  “Why not?” Travis asked her as he framed her face between his hands.

  “I just can’t, okay? I haven’t told you the worst part of it all,” Annabella said, she’d been honest with Travis already, she knew that the only way to finally be able to put it all past is to finally admit the one part she allowed herself to forget.

  “How could it get any worse?”

  “After the rape, I became pregnant, Travis,” she said, looking away from him. He was probably disgusted with her.

  “Pregnant, you have a kid?” he asked. He was angry, not at her but at the low life that has done this to her. Not in any way did he blame her for this.

  “No, I didn’t even know until it was too late.” She said remembering it like it was the previous day.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was five weeks after the fact, I was cramping really bad and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t want to go to the doctor because I felt dirty; I thought that they’d figure out my secret and tell my parents. I was vulnerable. I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding really bad so I had no choice. They told me that I miscarried a baby. It was so much to take in.”

  “I know the feeling. Bella, you didn’t tell anyone?”

  “Not a soul, until now. It was a tragedy and a blessing,” Annabella told him, her tone soft.

  “What does that mean, how could any of this possibly be a blessing?”

  “I meant the miscarriage. Travis, what happened was tragic enough, how could I possibly carry his spawn inside of me for nine months knowing how it was conceived? I would have hated that child, the way I hate its father.”

  Travis stared at her as he took in her statement. He could see her facial expression darken as she talked about the baby and the man who did this to her. Her eyes became distant and cold and her mouth twisted.

  “I can’t believe you’ve dealt with all of this on you own,” he said again.

  “I had no choice; I couldn’t bear for anyone else to know. I felt dirty. I still do,” she admitted as she entwined their fingers together.

  “You’re not alone, and you’re not dirty, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel safe again.”

  “I don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to wake up every day and feel happy that I’m with you, and know I can take care of myself, but I can’t.”

  “I have an idea. You want to feel safe? Come with me, we’ll get you there,” Travis said, moving from the bed and putting a shirt on.

  Annabella wasn’t sure what he had up his sleeve, but the trust she had in him was without a doubt as strong as ever. She took his hand and he led her back out to the real world.

  Twenty

  Annabella sat and waited for her friends. They were supposed to be here well over an hour ago. Aubrey promised that she wouldn’t be late.

  She sat on the curb of the school, still wearing her yoga pants and black tank top. She loved being on the track team more than anything. She loved to run; it wasn’t just because it kept her in shape, but because it always cleared her mind.

  She tried calling Aubrey for the millionth time, but got no answer. She hated this. If the roles were reversed, she’d never have stood Aubrey up like this. And the worst part of it all was that Aubrey, Chelsea, and Maxie were probably up to no good. If she had her car, getting home would be no problem.

  Giving up, she decided to call Ryan.

  “Hello?” He answered almost immediately.

  “Hey, Ry. I need a ride, can you come get me?” she asked, feeling guilty. The last thing she wanted to do was intrude on her brother.

  “I thought the girls were coming to get you,” he stated.

  “I thought so too. I’ve been waiting for an hour and they’re still not here.”

  “Baby girl, I’m an hour away. I’m on my back from Phoenix. If you can hang in for an hour, I’ll be there, but if not, I can see if I can find you a ride,” he said. Ryan was always looking out for her, no matter what.

  “I can wait. I’d rather fit some time in to work out anyway. Just come get me when you get here.”

  “I will. Be safe, okay? You never know who’s in that school at night. Keep your phone on you just in case,” Ryan said, going into his protective brother personality.

  “Ry, I love that you care, but I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to just call someone?” he asked.

  “I’ll be okay, just hurry okay?”

  “I think I’m going to have a word with Ms. Aubrey when I see her,” Ryan said angrily.

  “Don’t,” Annabella told him. The last thing she needed was the wrath that was her best friend.

  “Bella, she left you there at the school and it’s almost eight thirty. It’s getting dark out,” he informed her.

  “I know, but I’m okay. I love you, just get here soon.” Annabella hung up.

  Half an hour later, she was sweaty from running on the treadmill. She decided to take a break so she sat and read the book that she had on the k
indle application on her phone.

  She lost track of time until she finally felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, expecting to find her brother, instead she found someone else.

  “Oh hi,” she said to one of Ryan’s buddies.

  “Hey, there Anna,” he said. She’d known him her whole life. He was the only one who called her that.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to get something out of Matt’s locker for him. How about you?” he asked, his blue eyes fixated on her.

  “I’m waiting for my brother, Aubrey stood me up, so I had to call him to come get me, but he was an hour away.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. You working out?”

  “I was.” Annabella told him as she put a small, white towel around her neck.

  “Interesting.” He took a step closer to her. “You know, Anna, I always thought you were exceptionally beautiful.”

  Annabella froze where she stood. What the hell was going on? This was Matt’s older brother. Not to mention her brother’s friend. How could he possibly go there?

  “Um, thanks,” she said shakily.

  “I’ve watched you every single day since the day I met you. And I even recognize your scent when I smell it… I love your vanilla smell.”

  “Stop.” She pushed him away .

  “Anna, Anna,” he said as he pulled her close. Before she knew it, he was crushing her lips with his.

  The kiss was unwanted. She tried to push away from him, but he was too strong. He crushed her hands behind her as he pushed her into the wall of the gym. When he finally broke the kiss, he stared at her with cold eyes.