When Grace Went Away

by Meredith Appleyard

  ‘I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your obs. Ring the bell if you need anything,’ the nurse said to Faith, taking the baby from her.

  With a satisfied exhale my daughter closed her eyes and settled against the pillows.

  Quick as a flash I was on my feet and making a beeline for Faith’s chart, which was resting on a nearby trolley. It took me a moment to get my bearings: I hadn’t looked at a chart like this for aeons.

  ‘How am I doing?’ Faith queried without opening her eyes.

  ‘Your blood pressure’s come down, but it’s still higher than it should be,’ I said. ‘Otherwise everything appears to be okay.’

  ‘Good,’ she said.

  She dozed, and thanks to Liam’s tutorials, I knew how to send Grace a message with a photo attached. A big thumbs up and, Does he have a name yet? came back.

  He didn’t, and when I asked, Faith said she’d been certain she was having a girl.

  ‘I was going to call her Chloe,’ she said wistfully. ‘I told Ben if it was a boy he could pick the name because I was so sure it wasn’t. He’ll probably end up being a Colin or a Craig.’ She screwed up her face. I laughed.

  A while later they moved Faith to a private room. The baby fed again, half-heartedly. He just wanted to sleep. I knew the nurses would be keeping a close eye on him given he was on the tail end of being pre-term.

  Faith hadn’t been in her private room long when Grace and Aaron showed up with Liam and Amelia in tow. Collectively, they had the energy of a small cyclone.

  The plan was for Aaron to take Grace’s SUV to Adelaide to collect Ben, and I’d go home to Miner’s Ridge with Grace and the children in Faith’s car.

  They met the baby and after twenty minutes I could tell Faith was ready to see the back of them. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, and the spinal epidural was wearing off. Aaron began herding us all towards the door.

  ‘I think your mum needs a rest,’ he said to Liam and Amelia, who’d been crawling in and out from under the bed. ‘It’s a mammoth job, having a baby.’

  I watched Grace watching Aaron, observing his easy way with the children, and I could imagine her thinking what a great dad he’d make. He’d make an equally good uncle.

  Knowing Grace the way I did, she was probably adding it to her list of all the reasons why she was wrong for Aaron, when in my opinion they were perfect for each other.

  I was the last to say goodbye to Faith.

  ‘Thanks Mum,’ she said, and squeezed my hand. ‘Can you make sure Dad knows?’

  ‘Of course,’ I said, and dropped a quick kiss onto her brow. She didn’t pull away. Joy left me momentarily breathless.

  When we were changing over cars I said to Grace, ‘Why don’t you go with Aaron? I’m okay with the kids.’

  Her gaze shifted from me to Aaron. One parking space over, he was making sure Liam and Amelia were buckled into their seats.

  Grace opened her mouth to say something, then reconsidered. She shook her head. ‘I’ll come with you, Mum. I won’t get to spend much time with you, or the kids. Aaron will be home later.’

  ‘If you’re sure?’

  ‘I’m totally sure,’ she said.

  Aaron came with Faith’s car keys.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, and gave them a moment to make their goodbyes.

  ‘Isn’t Aunty Grace coming?’ Liam said when I climbed into the driver’s seat of Faith’s car. ‘Yep, she’ll be along in a moment.’

  ‘Aaron’s cool, but she’s excellent,’ he said.

  I turned to look over my shoulder at Liam. ‘Yes, she is, isn’t she,’ I said, returning his grin.

  54

  Grace

  Each time Grace had called the farm, she’d included her phone number in a message she left on the answering machine. She could picture the antiquated device on the kitchen cupboard, its red light flashing.

  Her father hadn’t returned her call. Not that she’d expected him to do so. But she’d hoped. A new grandson should have been enough for him to break the pattern for once.

  Tim had messaged his congratulations to Faith and Ben after Grace phoned to share the news.

  He was enjoying the Greek Islands with his mate, Allie. Once he got over his surprise at Grace’s presence in Miners Ridge he told her that Allie was considering taking more time off so they could keep travelling.

  ‘I thought she had to be home by mid-December for work,’ Grace said.

  ‘She doesn’t like her job much.’

  ‘But she likes you,’ Grace teased, but Tim didn’t bite.

  ‘Not ruling anything in or out,’ was all he’d said. He always had been tight-lipped when it came to the women in his life. He had that in common with his younger brother.

  Which had reminded Grace … She moved the phone to the other ear and and said, ‘Okay if I ask you something?’

  ‘Sounds ominous, but go right ahead.’

  Grace took a deep breath. ‘Louise Claremont, now Bowden, is back in town. Louise’s marriage broke up. After seeing photos of Luke from when he was a kid, Faith’s convinced that he fathered Louise’s daughter, Emma. She said they were an item when he was killed. What do you think? Is it possible? Does Dad know?’

  Tim’s silence spoke volumes. After a time he spoke.

  ‘So that’s what Mum’s so keen to talk to me about. She’s messaged me twice to ring her.’

  ‘Well, is it true?’

  ‘I honestly don’t know, but they were pretty full on around the time Luke died. Louise was cut up real bad, but after the funeral I didn’t see her again for years.

  ‘I heard she’d got married and had a kid. I remember meeting the girl once, when she was about five. She was with Carol at the hotel. She had an uncanny resemblance to Luke when he was that age, and it did fleetingly cross my mind.’

  ‘You didn’t say anything?’

  ‘Who was I going to tell? And I didn’t know for sure. But I remember Louise came into the pub and she wasn’t at all happy to see me. But then, she’d only ever tolerated me because of Luke.’

  ‘Yeah, Mum said she was downright hostile to her.’

  ‘Dad’s a cagey old prick and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he knows. He’s lived here all his life. And he and Luke were always tight. So, how’s Aaron?’ he said, changing the subject completely. ‘His house is all right, isn’t it? A nice change from that poky apartment of yours in London.’

  Grace gazed about the lamp-lit living room. It was a lovely home; and it was a home, not just a house. The man who went with it was pretty okay as well.

  ‘My poky London apartment is all right,’ she said, but to her own ears the words lacked conviction.

  In the five days she’d been in Miners Ridge, Grace hadn’t thought about her life in London at all. She sank down into the sofa and put off thinking about what that might mean. But she would have to deal with it soon. Leading Aaron on was something she would not do. Leading herself on—that was another thing entirely.

  ‘You’re still up for a London Christmas then?’ Tim was saying and Grace forced her attention back to their conversation.

  ‘Yep,’ she said. ‘Bring Allie along and we’ll do it in true Aussie style.’

  After they’d disconnected, Grace wandered around the house, phone in hand, impatient for Aaron to get home. It was late, getting on for eleven. He and Ben had stopped off at the Clare hospital for Ben to meet his new son and now they were on the last leg of their journey. Aaron had sounded exhausted when he’d rung to say they were leaving Clare.

  The phone dinged. A message from her mother.

  They’re home. I’ll sleep here at Faith’s. Get the kids off to school in the morning.

  She shot back a reply.

  Headlights swung into the driveway and Grace felt a flutter in her belly. Down girl, she told herself but hurried to the front door anyway, side-stepping the cat as it shot past and out into the night.

  She flicked on the light and waited on the threshold. Aaron locked the
SUV, loped across the porch and swung her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly.

  ‘A man could get used to coming home to this.’

  ‘It was lonely here without you,’ Grace said. ‘How was Ben?’

  They went into the kitchen and Grace put on the electric kettle. Aaron threw the car keys onto the counter.

  ‘Happy about the baby, relieved they’re both well, but he said in the car that he would rather have not gone again. He was counting down to the time he could stop working away from home, and feels like now he’s locked in for the duration.’

  ‘He doesn’t have to be! He has a trade and could get work closer to home if he wanted to. My observation is that fly-in-fly-out workers get used to the inflated incomes they earn and believe they can’t survive without them.’

  ‘Hey,’ Aaron said, holding up his hands. ‘You’re preaching to the converted here. I gave up corporate life years ago.’

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘One of my buttons. Faith’s always going on about money … And I know that they’ve paid off their house and are financially secure.’

  ‘Living costs a lot. Kids wouldn’t come cheap,’ Aaron said.

  ‘Yeah, I guess you are right. But it’s also about priorities … Two flash new cars every couple of years versus dad being home every night. Tea?’

  ‘Yeah, thanks. It’s easy to get sucked into that kind of lifestyle, Grace. But there are always choices. Sometimes we don’t see what’s at the end of our noses, and it’s the people a step removed who can see how straightforward those choices are. I might make myself some toast. We didn’t stop for food.’

  Grace gaped at him, processing what Aaron had just said. Hadn’t she said something similar to her mother only recently? And she had always been quick to judge whatever her sister did, good or bad.

  ‘I can do you scrambled eggs or something? We had fish and chips on our way home.’

  ‘Toast is all I want.’

  ‘Okay.’ Grace took out the toaster, and Aaron the bread. ‘Did they decide on a name for the baby?’ she said.

  ‘Christopher Henry.’

  ‘Nice. The Henry would be for Mum’s dad. He died before I was born. Faith should be happy with that.’

  ‘Cute little fella,’ Aaron said, rummaging in the pantry for spreads. ‘Hard to tell who he takes after.’

  Grace snorted. ‘He takes after a newborn baby. They all look the same.’

  Aaron glanced her way. ‘I take it you didn’t have a cuddle.’

  ‘I held him,’ Grace said. ‘I am his aunty.’

  She didn’t say she hadn’t been given a choice because Faith had thrust him at her, and then her sister had smirked at her obvious discomfort.

  ‘However, I’m the first to admit I’m much more comfortable when they’re old enough for me to have a conversation with them.’

  Aaron laughed. His blue eyes twinkled. ‘You are one in a million,’ he said.

  Grace watched him spread the toast with Vegemite, and then practically inhale both pieces before dropping two more slices of bread into the toaster.

  In ten days’ time she’d be leaving him to return to work and life in London. It’d be months before either of them could take time off or afford fares, so then it would be back to texts, emails and video chats. Just thinking about it put her on edge.

  The big question was, how many more times could she do it? Could she do it until her contract was complete?

  The time after he’d left London was still painfully fresh in her memory. Grace had dragged herself through the days. And her mother had told her he’d been just as miserable.

  She should never have come.

  55

  Sarah

  Amelia tapped on my shoulder at seven-thirty the following morning. My eyelids were stuck together and my head felt as if it’d been filled with wet cement. It had been well after midnight when Ben pulled out the sofa bed in the sunroom for me the previous evening.

  ‘I brought you a cup of coffee, Grandma,’ Amelia said. She pointed to the steaming brew on the chest of drawers beside where I lay. ‘Liam made it.’ This added as a caveat: if it was undrinkable it wasn’t her fault.

  ‘It’ll be fine, sweetie. I’ll drink it and then get up.’ After all, I was meant to be looking after them.

  My head cleared a little and I noticed my granddaughter was already dressed in her school uniform, her hair combed neatly. I could hear the murmur of the radio in the kitchen. The smell of toast hung in the air.

  Amelia propped herself on the edge of the bed and I shuffled across to give her more room.

  ‘Dad’s already up and we’ve had breakfast. Mum rang and she said baby Christopher’s pretty tired this morning and his breathing—’

  I shot upright, almost unseating her. ‘What about his breathing?’ I snatched my phone off the cupboard. There were no new messages, no missed calls.

  But then, why would Faith ring me when her husband was a phone call away?

  I had the sudden urge to cry. Then Amelia’s warm fingers curled around mine and I couldn’t stop the tears leaking out from behind my eyelids, no matter how tightly I squeezed them shut.

  ‘It’s all right, Grandma,’ she said. ‘Mum says the doctors and nurses are looking after him. The sugar in his blood was low and they gave him a sugary drink. Dad’s in the shower and then he’s going to go to the hospital.’

  I swallowed what felt like a tennis ball in my throat.

  ‘Okay,’ I rasped, and swung my legs around her and out of the bed. ‘Let me get dressed and I’ll talk to your dad before he goes.’

  ‘Don’t forget to drink your coffee,’ she said, and skipped off to the kitchen.

  My eyes watered some more when I yawned. The coffee wasn’t bad. I scrambled into my clothes and then stripped off the sheet and doona, wrestling the bed back into a sofa.

  ‘Sarah, you are up.’ Ben was standing in the doorway, freshly showered and shaved, car keys in one hand and bulging carry bag in the other. He held it up. ‘A few things Faith wants. She didn’t have a very good night. I’ll get off. I’ll take the ute and leave Faith’s car for you.’

  Ben rubbed his face with his free hand, and I could see he was exhausted underneath it all.

  ‘I’m sorry she didn’t have a good night, although I’m not surprised. A lot has happened for her in the last twenty-four hours. How’s Christopher?’

  ‘Hungry, and loud about it, but otherwise everything seems on track, considering he came early,’ he said.

  ‘Good. I’ll organise the kids, drop them at school and then go home. I’ll leave her car here. Tell Faith—’

  ‘Ring her, Sarah. Please. She needs her mother, whether she’ll admit it or not. And take the car. I’ll keep in touch over the day, but it might be better if she doesn’t have many visitors today.’

  ‘Fair enough,’ I said.

  He was almost out the back door when he turned.

  ‘Oh yeah, Faith asked if anyone had heard from Doug. She left a message last night but hasn’t heard from him.’

  ‘I know Grace left a couple of messages yesterday.’

  For a second Ben looked perplexed. ‘I’d forgotten Grace was home.’

  ‘I’ll see what she’s doing later and we might drive out to the farm.’

  ‘I’ll tell Faith. See you later,’ he said and was gone.

  After I dropped the kids at school I rang Faith. She was tired and irritable, and about to feed Christopher so we didn’t talk long. We agreed that I’d visit the following day.

  As fate would have it, Grace was out helping Aaron and at midday I drove out to the farm on my own. I’d tried ringing first but there’d been no answer and I hadn’t bothered with a message. If Doug was there and heard my voice, he definitely wouldn’t pick up.

  We hadn’t spoken since that dreadful confrontation when he dumped my belongings in the front yard and accused me of making a fool of him.

  The shady spot I’d parked in last time I’d been here was taken by a fa
miliar white sedan.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘It can’t be.’

  But it was. I’d barely climbed out of Faith’s car when Carol Claremont emerged from the back of the house. Looking harried, she stopped in her tracks when she saw me.

  I’d talked to her not twenty minutes earlier, to thank her for what she’d done getting Faith to the hospital the day before. And to tell her it was a boy, and mother and baby were doing well.

  Our conversation had lacked some of its usual warm camaraderie, but I’d thought that was because of me and my misgivings. After I’d disconnected it had occurred to me, fleetingly, that she’d already known Faith had had a boy.

  My stomach churned as I slowly closed the car door. Carol would have been here, at the farm, when I’d talked to her. I remembered telling her that we didn’t know if the baby’s grandpa knew about his existence yet. Though I hadn’t added that I was coming out here to tell Doug after I’d disconnected from her.

  She folded her arms and let me walk towards her. We stared at each other and I knew bewilderment was what she read in my expression.

  She licked her lips, rolled them together. ‘It seems I’m destined to forever clean up after him.’

  ‘You have me at a total loss here, Carol. I have no idea what you mean. Faith and Tim have impressed upon me that there’s never been any love lost between you and Doug, and yet here you are?’

  My head began to pound. The temperature being thirty-plus and the fact we were standing in the full sun might have partly accounted for that.

  ‘Let’s at least move into the shade,’ I said, stepping around her towards the back of the house. That’s when I noticed the soggy mop and upturned mop bucket, a dark water stain on the cement beneath them.

  ‘You’ve been cleaning for him?’

  ‘Kaylene Bretag rang me, said that since Tim left the place was a pigsty. She knows I do cleaning and asked if I’d come out once a week for a couple of hours.’

  ‘And he pays you to do that?’

  She laughed, a harsh sound. ‘Hasn’t so far, but I’ll see to it that he does. One way or another.’

  I frowned. There was a subtext here that I just wasn’t getting. ‘He knows about his grandson?’ I said.