Bearly Christmas

by Becca Fanning

  “You were a cute, easy piece of ass,” Talia said in the same infuriatingly casual tone. “Of course he liked you.” She smirked. “But really, at least you lost your v-card now. Now maybe you can get a real boyfriend.”

  Gemma frowned. “I want Rock,” she said softly. “I really like him, Tals.”

  Talia shook her head. “That isn’t how things work,” she said. She looked deeply into Gemma’s eyes. “I mean, men don’t work like that. They want you to play the game,” she added. “They want you to act like you don’t need them, it makes things more fun. You can’t be too desperate, Gem, that’s why no one ever liked you before. And you know that’s not going to help with Stone, or whatever his name is.”

  “Rock,” Gemma corrected. “He seemed like a real gentleman. He even texted me when he got home, look,” she said, holding up her phone. Talia wasn’t even looking. Gemma sighed and put it back in her lap. “Maybe you’re right,” Gemma mused. “I mean, maybe it was just a fun night and I need to get over it.”

  “If you really want to meet someone incredible, I have the perfect guy,” Talia said. She grinned wickedly. “He’s a friend of Tony’s. His name is Matty, and you’ll love him.”

  Gemma frowned. “I don’t want to meet anyone else,” she said in a sulky tone. “I’m not interested in dating just to date. I only want to date someone I have a real connection with.”

  “You’ll have a real connection with Matty,” Talia promised. “He’s divorced, he’s a single dad, he’s tons of fun. He loves Jimmy Buffet, aren’t guys who love him fun?”

  Gemma bit her lip. “I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t like being set up, Tals. You know that.”

  “Well you can’t sit around and mope about that hunk,” Talia said in a callous voice. “You know he’s never going to call you, seriously. He just wanted to fuck you. I mean, he might try to booty call you every now and then. But no guy wants to date the girl who gave it up on the first night.”

  Gemma shrank down in her seat. “I thought you told me that I had to lose my virginity,” she said in a grumpy voice. “What’s wrong with doing that with the guy I want to date?”

  Talia laughed. “Because,” she said simply. “You just don’t. Trust me, Gem. This guy isn’t interested in being a daddy to Arthur. He just wants some pussy every now and then.”

  Gemma swallowed. Her stomach was hurting so much that she felt like she was going to be sick. Talia’s advice was hurtful but Gemma had to believe that her sister knew what she was doing. Talia had dated dozens of guys, married one, got divorced, and now she had a new boyfriend that she was crazy about. It didn’t matter that the kinds of guys Talia dated weren’t the kinds of guys that Gemma liked; Gemma had to figure that Talia must know what she was talking about. After all, she was the one with all of the experience. Gemma started feeling more embarrassed than ever when she remembered their conversations in the diner and the shy way she’d acted in bed. It was obvious that she’d never been with a guy; Rock must have just been humoring her because he wanted to have sex.

  Gemma felt more embarrassed than ever by the time they were done talking. It was her fault; she’d fallen for all of Rock’s bullshit and lies. She decided that tomorrow, she’d start over and forget all about Rock. She’d delete his number, wash the sheets, and get ready to meet someone and “play the game,” as Talia had put it.

  Later, after Talia had taken Michael home, Rock texted Gemma “Good night, sweet girl.” Gemma stared at the screen for a long time, her mouth feeling dry and sticky. She closed her eyes, desperately hoping for what she felt to be a good idea. But nothing came.

  Gemma turned her phone off and climbed into bed.

  Chapter Three

  The next day, Gemma wasn’t feeling much better about her situation. Even though she felt good about taking Talia’s advice and ignoring Rock, her stomach ached whenever she thought of him and his gorgeous golden eyes. A guy like that couldn’t be bad, right? She thought to herself as she bustled around the house, cleaning up. Except Talia said he was, and I have to listen to her….

  To make matters worse, Arthur was in one hell of a bad mood. He spent the entire morning screaming and fussing at the top of his lungs. No matter what Gemma did, Arthur wouldn’t calm down. He was behaving more badly in one morning than he had in his entire life, and Gemma couldn’t figure out what was the matter.

  “Are you hurting?” Gemma asked, staring at her son as he cried and banged his tiny fists against the floor. “Are you in pain?”

  Arthur stopped crying for a moment. Snot bubbled out of his nose and Gemma reached forward with a tissue to wipe it away. Arthur bit her – hard! – and she yanked her hand away, looking wounded.

  “Behave,” Gemma said in strict voice as the doorbell rang. “Mommy will be right back.”

  As she walked to the door, she hoped that Rock would be there. Unfortunately, it was Talia. She was dressed to the nines and in the company of two smarmy-looking guys in their late thirties. Gemma felt a sinking feeling in her stomach.

  “Gem, this is Tony,” Talia beamed, shoving the taller of the guys forward. “He’s my new boyfriend, remember? I told you about him the other day!”

  “Right,” Gemma said cautiously. They shook hands and Tony winked at her. Gemma felt her stomach twist and knot over itself. “Hi, Tony.”

  “And this is Matty,” Talia chirped. She shoved the other guy forward. He was tan, with dark hair greased into curls on the top of his head and dark brown eyes. Stubble lined his oddly pale lips and Gemma could see a black tattoo snaking around his wrist. “Matty couldn’t wait to meet you, Gem,” Talia said with a knowing look. “I told him all about you.”

  Gemma flushed and bit her lip. “Hi,” she said nervously. Before she could react, Matty grabbed her hand and brought it up towards his lips. She couldn’t help but twitch as he pressed his mouth down on the back of her hand.

  “Mmm, you smell good enough to eat,” Matty said. He winked at Gemma and she felt her stomach twist again. “This is a real honey, Talia!”

  Talia smiled. “I knew you’d like my sister,” she said, obviously pleased with herself. “Get dressed and call the babysitter,” she said to Gemma. “We’re going out!”

  Gemma eyed Matty and Tony. “Tals, can I talk to you for a second?”

  Matty made a faux-pouty face. ”Tals, can I talk to you for a second?” Matty repeated in a high-pitched voice that Gemma guessed was an unpleasant mockery of her own. “Come on, Gemma,” Matty said in his normal voice. “Don’t be such a bitch. Come out with me and your sister!”

  Gemma glared at him. “Now, Talia,” she said firmly.

  “Now, Talia,” Tony echoed. He and Matty cracked up, high-fiving each other on Gemma’s porch.

  “You boys stay here,” Talia said with a flirtatious smile. “We’ll be right back.”

  As soon as they were inside, Talia’s smile vanished and she looked murderously angry. “Gemma, what the fuck is your problem?” Talia hissed. “Matty likes you! He wants to go out with you! What the fuck is with you?”

  “Matty doesn’t know anything about me,” Gemma argued. “And I don’t like him!”

  “Don’t be so picky,” Talia snorted. “You can’t afford to be picky Gem. You’re thirty-two.”

  Gemma sagged her shoulders. “I really don’t feel like going out,” she said softly. “I mean, I’d rather stay here with Arthur.”

  Talia rolled her eyes and dragged Gemma back towards the master bedroom. “Gemma, you’re going to wrinkle up and dry out if you keep staying at home with a two-year-old,” she snapped. “Come on, get dressed.”

  Thirty minutes later, Talia and Gemma were crammed into the backseat of Tony’s subcompact car, on the way to a club on the outskirts of town. Talia talked to the guys as they drove, chattering and chirping at every interesting bit of scenery they passed. Gemma stared at her phone, silently wishing for Rock to text her.

  “Here we are,” Tony said in a grand voice. He’d pulled into the
parking lot of a divey-looking bar covered in red brick. “You ladies like?”

  “I love,” Talia gushed in a flirtatious voice. I stared at her, suddenly wondering if I knew this person at all. Whenever Talia was around a guy, she always acted so differently than her normal personality. She was like a changed person, someone Gemma didn’t understand in the least.

  “It’s fine,” Gemma muttered as she climbed out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

  Tony and Matty gave Gemma a funny look. “Of course, babe,” Matty said. He snaked an arm around Gemma’s waist and she twisted away, pushing him gently in the chest. “What’s your problem?”

  “Gemma’s inexperienced,” Talia said in a sing-song voice that made me want to slap her. “Come on, let’s go get drinks!”

  Inside the bar was smoky and dark. The guys bellied up to the bar and came back with a tray of shots and four glasses of beer. Gemma already felt nauseous, like her hangover from the day before was coming back with a vengeance. She sipped at her beer and gazed around.

  “This looks nice,” Gemma said politely. “I haven’t been here before.”

  Matty laughed as if she’d said something hilarious. “It ain’t nice,” he grinned. “It’s poppin’, after dark especially.” Matty pointed up at the stage. “There’s a band playin’ later,” he added, winking at Gemma. She felt sick. “You wanna dance with me?”

  “I hate dancing,” Gemma mumbled. Rock, I’m sorry, she thought in her head. I’m so sorry. I hate this!

  “Gemma, don’t be such a loser,” Talia said. “Come on, dance with me!” Talia pulled Gemma up from her chair and waltzed her towards the middle of the dance floor. A seductive, rhythmic beat was pulsing from the big speakers in the corner of the room and Talia shook her hips and wiggled her body towards Gemma, acting like a video girl from the 80s. Gemma blinked.

  “I don’t feel well,” Gemma said. “I’m going to sit down.”

  “Oh, no you’re not,” said a voice from behind her. Gemma turned around to see Matty. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close. When she was close to him, he smelled like nasty, cheap cologne and he had bad breath. Gemma tried to push him away but Matty grabbed her wrists and pulled her back towards him, in a gross approximation of dancing. As Gemma tried to pull away, Matty put his hands on her chest and squeezed her breasts through her top until Gemma was blushing and shrieking in horror.

  “Leave me alone!” Gemma shrieked. She ran away from the dance floor, tears blurring her vision. I have to get out of here, she thought frantically. Maybe I can go outside and get a cab, anything! As she ran in her high heels, she wasn’t looking where she was going and in a few seconds, she crashed into something big.

  “Gemma?” The voice was familiar, and sounded surprised. “You okay?”

  With tears still in her grey eyes, Gemma looked straight up into Rock’s face. He was looking down at her with concern and affection in his golden eyes and she practically melted against his burly frame, collapsing into his arms.

  “I’m taking you home,” Rock said to Gemma’s ear. “Come on.” Gemma couldn’t speak as Rock wrapped his strong arms around her and lifted her into the air. She was barely aware of being carried out to the parking lot and propped up against the side of Rock’s truck.

  “Thank you,” Gemma murmured. “My sister, she dragged me out here and she’s with these slimy guys.” Gemma glanced down.

  “It’s fine,” Rock assured her. He opened the passenger door and lifted her up onto the high bench seat. “Wait here for a minute, okay?”

  Gemma nodded. Even though she’d only been out for a little bit, she felt exhausted. She watched as Rock loped back into the bar, an angry and determined look on his face. Closing her eyes, she even managed to relax a little.

  When Rock came back to the car, he was breathing hard and his shirt had ripped at the collar. Gemma examined him carefully. “Oh, no,” Gemma said softly as she reached out and touched a bruise on his face. “Are you hurt?”

  Rock laughed. “Not hardly,” he said. “Don’t worry about me,” he added. “What I’m worried about is you,” he said, in the most serious tone that Gemma had ever heard him use. “Are you alright?”

  Gemma blushed. She slunk down low in the seat. “I’m fine,” she murmured. “Thank you.”

  The whole ride back to Gemma’s house, she was silent. She couldn’t figure out how to explain that she’d fucked up, and part of her still thought that Talia was probably right. After all, Talia was her older sister. Talia knew better, that was why she’d always given Gemma advice. Never mind the fact that she’d been wrong sometimes, she had to be right about men, right?

  Rock pulled into the driveway and shifted his truck into park. “Can I come in?”

  Gemma slid out of the passenger seat before he could turn the engine off. “I’ve got to go,” she said breathlessly. “I’m sorry, Rock.”

  Before he could answer, Gemma darted off and into the house.

  Chapter Four

  In the morning, Gemma lay in bed for a long time. She could hear Arthur was up and yelling for breakfast but she couldn’t even make herself feel motivated enough to go feed her son. Instead, she pulled her phone into her hand and scrolled through the news. Rock had texted and called all night, and she’d eventually just muted his number. Now she didn’t exactly feel better, but her stomach had stopped twisting into knots.

  You can’t keep chasing someone who doesn’t really want you, Gemma thought grimly whenever she began to miss Rock. You know he doesn’t want a relationship, just sex. That’s what Talia said.

  One of the headlines from the previous day caught her attention. “Bear Goes Wild In Local Bar!” The headline proclaimed, as if it was something that happened occasionally, like the big mattress sales on Memorial Day. Gemma stifled a laugh as she read through the piece – apparently, somehow a bear had gotten into the bar that Talia, Tony, and Matty had taken Gemma to the day before. It must have been right after we left, she thought to herself with a grin. I would have liked to see that. The paper didn’t mention anything too bad – apparently the bear had chased two patrons outside (an Anthony Trevari, 34, and a Matthew Frimg, 31 – both locals) and then disappeared.

  Gemma’s phone rang and she answered automatically, hoping that it would be Rock. Instead, Talia’s voice shrieked hysterically at her from the receiver. Gemma winced and pulled the phone away, rubbing her forehead with her hand.

  “Tals, what is it? What the hell are you screaming about?”

  “A bear, Gemma,” Talia said, sounding exasperated. “A fucking bear came into the bar! It chased Tony and Matty away, and I haven’t heard from Tony since!”

  Gemma couldn’t help but giggle. “Serves them right,” she said, too low for Talia to hear. “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I’m okay,” Talia said. She sounded annoyed. “I can’t believe it, though. Can you? A bear? I didn’t even know there were bears around here!”

  Gemma laughed again. “Yeah, that is crazy,” she agreed. The doorbell rang and she put the phone down for a second, her heart slamming against her chest. “Hey, Talia, I have to call you back,” she said quickly. “Someone’s at the door.”

  Gemma walked nervously into the front hall. Arthur was shrieking in his room and she went in and grabbed him, holding him firmly on her hip as she opened the door.

  Rock was standing there. His hands were twisted in front of him and he looked deeply upset. “Can I talk to you?”

  Gemma let out a shaky breath. “Sure,” she said, stepping back. “Come on in.” As Rock came into the living room and lowered himself down onto the couch, Gemma felt self-conscious about her ragged yoga pants and ratty t-shirt. Arthur was evidently happy to see Rock – instead of being shy like he normally was, he was grabbing with his little hands and reaching out for Rock’s big body.

  “Sorry,” Gemma said. “He’s unusually active this morning.” She set Arthur down in his playpen and watched as he crawled around, picking up pieces
of a toy train and slamming them down on the floor. “What’s up?”