Valentine's Day Tigers (The Holiday Shifter Mates Book 3)

by Kestra Pingree

  Last night, Lance was pretty upset, though. Ash had never seen him cry. That icy wall he erected to protect himself melted down to the rawest layer, and he kept apologizing like he didn’t feel validated. The fact that he didn’t like sex seemed to bother him way more than it did Ash. Ash didn’t really understand why, but it was obviously a sensitive topic for Lance. Ash could understand that part. Ash’s body was female in every way. While they didn’t hate that fact, they weren’t a woman. They were just Ash. It felt wrong to be referred to as “she” or “her,” though it was people’s natural assumption.

  Who was this “she” they were talking about?

  Maybe that was part of what Ash liked about Lance and even his brother, Yuri, right away. Ash gave their pronouns and the brothers used them without asking questions. It was a nice change.

  Ash wasn’t asexual, but that didn’t matter. Ash wasn’t going to discard Lance because of that. They didn’t love him any less. And they wouldn’t let him run away after confessing something so personal about himself. He was afraid to tell Ash the truth, but he did anyway because he wanted to keep them. Because he loved them.

  No, Ash wasn’t going to let him go so easily. They had exchanged phone numbers. That meant Lance wasn’t planning on running away either. Thank the universe.

  Ash thought about calling almost a hundred times today, but they restrained themself. For some reason, Ash felt like Lance needed to call them first. But there was a time limit. If Lance didn’t call by tomorrow, Ash would give in and call first.

  “You’re quiet,” Frank said as he passed another hot mug of honey-lemon water over to Ash. “Writing a new song?”

  “No,” Ash said.

  “That’s unusual for you.”

  “Could you live without sex, Frank? In an intimate relationship.”

  The bar owner gave Ash a funny look; he simultaneously raised his wiry eyebrows and scowled. “Is it ‘intimate’ if there’s no sex?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, we might have to agree to disagree on that. I don’t know how intimate a relationship can be without sex if we’re talking life partners. For a child-parent relationship, then definitely yes, without sex.”

  Ash stuck out their tongue. “Thanks for that. It was unnecessary.”

  “Hey, you’re the one asking weird questions.”

  “I’m talking about life partners.” Ash frowned. “Why is it weird?”

  “Because what you’re talking about is just friendship.”

  “But it’s romantic,” Ash insisted.

  “Romance and sex go hand in hand.”

  “Not always.”

  Frank shook his head. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around whatever you’re trying to tell me, Ash. Romance is handing your girl a rose, kissing her silent, and taking her to bed.”

  Ash used their pointer finger to trace around the rim of their mug and watched the still liquid; it burned amber in the dim light. Ash loved being close to Lance in whatever way he’d have them. They were flattered he loved them enough to do what he did last night, but not if it was at his expense. It didn’t matter how much Ash enjoyed it if Lance had hated it.

  Had he hated it?

  “What if your girl’s not in the mood?” Ash asked. “Do you still love her?”

  “Yeah,” Frank shrugged, “but my girl likes sex, and those occasions are rare.”

  “What if there was an accident, involving bad paralysis or something, and sex was out of the question? Would you still love her, or would you leave her?”

  Frank frowned. “I don’t know, kid. Yes, I’d still love her. But sex… I can’t imagine living without it. I take it you found someone you like, but they’re not into whatever you’re into.”

  “Something like that.”

  “I won’t pretend to understand,” at least he tried more than most, “but if you feel the same way, neither of you interested in sex, then I guess it’s no problem, and you can call the relationship whatever you want. Romantic, platonic, whatever.”

  Ash tapped the mug. That was the thing, though. They liked Lance. They loved him, everything about him, and they were undeniably sexually attracted to him.

  “What if I’m attracted to him, but he isn’t attracted to me? He takes me on the most romantic dates. He’s sweet. He gets me. He loves me, and I love him.”

  “No idea. Sounds rough.”

  Frank did have some points that Ash could agree with at least: Ash’s sexual attraction and Lance’s lack of it. Anything was easier in a relationship if two people felt the same way and had the same dreams and beliefs or something, right? Ash hadn’t thought about that before. They had never been in this situation before.

  Ash’s phone rang. They retrieved it from their pocket and answered after seeing the name. “Lance.”

  “Hey, Ash. I’m sorry for not calling sooner.”

  Ash smiled as they dipped their finger into the honey-lemon water. Just hearing his voice soothed and excited them at the same time. The rich tone of his voice, remembering how beautiful it sounded when he sang, got them going.

  “It’s okay. It’s good to hear your voice, though,” Ash said and hesitated a moment before asking, “How’s your brother?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “Ash, do you think… do you think you’d like to see my home?”

  Ash’s heart leaped. “Definitely. I bet it’s beautiful. I haven’t been to any of the really small towns in Alaska.”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty nice, I guess. I’ll pick you up?”

  “Aren’t I out of your way?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” He paused. “I’m already here, at your hotel. I couldn’t wait to see you again, and I’d like to spend some time with you, alone, on the drive there, before the crazy people in my life demand to meet you.”

  This was huge. It was as if Ash running off with Yuri a couple nights ago had cracked Lance right open. The secrets surrounding him were unraveling.

  “Okay. Sounds perfect,” Ash said.

  “Thank goodness.” Lance breathed a sigh of relief. “See you soon?”

  “I’m at Tipsy, but I’ll drive over right now. Wait for me.”

  “Always.”

  Ash hung up and pushed their unfinished drink away. “Sorry, Frank. I won’t be playing tonight.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know, but it might be home. It might be the place I’ve been searching for all this time.”

  “What? Well, at least come back from time to time if you're sticking around here, yeah?”

  Ash jumped off the stool and ran out the bar door, barely tugging on their coat before getting blasted by frigid winds.

  They couldn’t stop grinning.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  WHEN THE LAST NOTE rang out from their ukulele, Ash opened their eyes. They finally did it. They played their song for Lance. Instead of using satellite radio to get music (this SUV was fancy), Ash had serenaded him since leaving Fairbanks.

  “Is that song about us?” Lance gripped the steering wheel tighter. “It better be about us.”

  Ash laughed. “Yes. I wrote that one for you. When I realized I love you.”

  Lance flicked a glance at them before returning his eyes to the road. “It’s perfect.”

  He turned onto a small street that was hidden from the main road. It was dusted with snow, but it had been traveled. Still, the ride turned a bit bumpy. They passed by scattered cabins and many trees, mainly black and white spruces.

  “This is Eurio,” Lance said.

  Ash commented, “It’s so spread out.”

  “We like our space.”

  The cabins they passed all seemed to be around the same size. Ash couldn’t get too good of a look at them since it was dark, but the headlights flashed ahead and cast a beam of light on another building. This one was much larger. It was either a mansion or it was something else. It didn’t look fancy enough to be a mansion,
and Lance pulled them into a very small covered parking lot that housed silver SUVs identical to the one Lance was driving. Maybe this was a community building, a hunting lodge or something.

  When Lance killed the engine, he kept his hands on the steering wheel and didn’t move. Ash didn’t say anything at first. They looked at the cuts marring his face. They had asked about them as soon as they had gotten into the SUV with Lance. He answered with a vague, “I got in a fight.” Ash decided not to push, but their eyes kept drifting to the claw marks on his cheek. They looked like claw marks. They also looked ridiculously deep for how much they had to have healed since last night—if that made any sense.

  Ash reached over and rested their hand on top of Lance’s. “Why are you so nervous?”

  “I… We’re a bit different in Eurio.”

  “I’ve been all over North America. I’ve seen many different people.”

  “Yeah, but probably not people like this.”

  “Are you afraid I won’t like your family?”

  “I guess.”

  Ash gently pried his hands off the steering wheel. “I go with the flow, and I like everybody just fine.”

  “I guess you’d have to, hanging out at a bar every night.” Lance offered a small smile.

  Ash grinned. “Everybody has an interesting story to tell. I used to let the universe guide me around and take me all over. I met a lot of people, but no one ever stuck. It was just me and my ukulele. Then the universe led me to you, and now I think I want you to guide me for a while.”

  “What are you talking about?” Lance laughed.

  “I’m saying that life is a crazy journey, but it led me to you. I want you.”

  Lance reclaimed his hands and brushed away a couple of stray curly hairs that had found their way in front of Ash’s eyes. “Ash, have I ever told you you’re beautiful?”

  Ash had been told they were beautiful before, but mostly by drunk guys at bars who had a certain fetish. Ash didn’t know their parents, but whatever genes they had gave them a bit of a unique look they supposed. Those “compliments” may have been genuine, and they may not have been, but Lance’s words certainly were. No one looked at Ash the way he did. It wasn’t heat—though it translated as such in Ash’s body. It was something else.

  It was love.

  Ash blew out a breath of air, trying to cool the hot flash. “You haven’t.”

  “Well, I should have. I’ll get better at this.”

  Ash already thought he was quite good. They had never met anyone more loving than him. “I like you being open like this.” Ash pressed their thumb against Lance’s lips. “Are kisses off limits? Do you like them or dislike them?”

  Lance replied by stealing Ash’s hand away so he could lean forward and kiss them. It was the same brush on lips, soft sucking, alternating between Ash’s top and bottom lip. When Lance pulled away, he said, “I like some kisses. I’m not a huge fan of tongue, though.”

  “Sweet kisses, then,” Ash said. They pulled him in for another kiss, mirroring what Lance had just done.

  There was no denying that Ash loved any kind of kiss they could get from Lance. Knowing that he wasn’t completely against them was nice. Some of that heat Ash felt last night returned, and they reflexively squeezed their thighs. They tried to tone down their need, but it wasn’t working. Ash moved back before the feelings got too intense. Maybe this would be a little bit of a challenge after all.

  Lance studied Ash in silence for a moment. “We call this place the Lodge. It’s, uh, where I’ll introduce you to everyone. Ready to get out?”

  “Yep.”

  Ash, zipped up their coat, put on their gloves, grabbed their ukulele, and exited the SUV. Ash was about to join Lance on the other side since he was closer to the front door of the Lodge, but movement caught their eye. It came from the black and white spruces. Ash squinted to see past the darkness. It must have helped because they caught sight of a white blur that almost blended in with the snow, until it came closer and closer. It was furry and round and cute and—a polar bear cub.

  “Do you see that?” Ash pointed.

  Lance came around to join them on their side of the SUV and said, “Oh shit.”

  The polar bear cub seemed to just notice them as it held out its paws to the snow, sliding to a stop just feet from them. It stared at Lance and then at Ash.

  “Get out of here,” Lance said sternly.

  “You really think a little polar bear is going to listen to what you have to say?” Ash asked. “Oh, my God, Lance. A baby polar bear. Do polar bears live in Alaska?” Ash pulled out their phone, determined to take a picture. This was Instagram worthy. Everyone who followed Ash on social media was going to eat this up. Ash didn’t know their followers personally, but they had met some of them in their travels. If Ash had had a family, they were it. No matter how far removed, they were just a screen tap away.

  Ash was about to snap that photo, but Lance grabbed their wrist and ruined the shot.

  “Hey,” Ash said, “I can take a quick photo before we get the hell out of here. I’m sure its mama isn’t far behind.”

  “Sorry, Ash, but that’s not it. Please, no pictures.” Lance’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

  Ash had no idea what that was about, but Lance seemed stressed about it, so they put their phone in their pocket just as a big brown and gray wolf darted out of the trees. It let out a growling bark, and its ears pointed forward. Its yellow eyes were trained on the cub as it salivated.

  “What the hell?” Ash stepped forward, getting ready to save the polar bear cub if the wolf was hunting it. But then the wolf’s gaze flickered up to Ash and Lance, and it skidded to a stop beside the polar bear cub. The cub leaned into the wolf like they were old friends. It even wrapped a paw around the wolf’s foreleg. The wolf rested its chin atop the cub’s head. It was the most precious thing Ash had ever seen in their life. What the hell was going on?

  “Get the fuck out of here, you two,” Lance gritted out.

  “Do you know them?” Ash asked. Lance was upset, but he didn’t seem scared of these wild animals. Not in the slightest. He was talking to them as if they were his pets or something. As if they understood his words, the polar bear cub and wolf backed away. And then there was a tiger. A goddamn orange Siberian tiger came bounding out of the trees. Compared to this muscular killing machine, the wolf was as small as a puppy—and the wolf was huge.

  “Do you have a private zoo out here?” Ash asked. Lance was right about one thing: they had never seen anything like this in their life, and they weren’t sure how they should be reacting right now. This tiger was big, though. Very. Big.

  Ash took a step back as the tiger loped toward them, tail flicking back and forth like a snake about to bite.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “LANCE,” ASH SAID, GRABBING his coat sleeve and yanking. “Let’s get inside, yeah?”

  “I’m so sorry.” Lance put his hand on top of Ash’s as if to reassure them, but he wouldn’t budge. It was like his feet were stuck in dried concrete. It didn’t matter how hard Ash yanked. “You can go inside the Lodge if you want. I’ll meet you there in a minute.”

  “What are you talking about? I’m not leaving you out here alone.”

  Then Ash saw the tiger’s eyes. They were like a sunburst.

  Fire reflected in those eyes.

  “This tiger looks familiar,” Ash said. They realized that sounded insane, but they weren’t exactly known to be the most “normal” person in the world.

  “Familiar?” Lance frowned. “You recognize him like this?” He quickly shook his head before Ash could ask him to explain what he meant. “Never mind. Yep, let’s go inside.” He turned Ash around with ease, despite them digging in their heels, and called over his shoulder, “Did you hear? We’re going inside. Now is not the time for this.”

  A roar sounded, loud and deafening. Ash covered their ears with their hands. Sounds like gunfire followed, or maybe it was large tree branches snapp
ing under the weight of snow.

  “Why wait?” a deep and familiar voice said. “It would be easier to get this all out of the way first thing, wouldn’t it? I’m doing you a favor.”

  Ash wriggled their way out of Lance’s hold to look back at where the tiger was just standing. Now there was a naked tattooed man. It was Yuri.

  “Hi again,” he said. His eyes flashed the same fire-orange as the tiger’s, and he had a predatory grin on his lips.

  Ash stared at his sharp canines as they peeked out from his beard. They hesitated a moment before saying back, “Hi.” They blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what had just happened. The polar bear cub and wolf hadn’t left and seemed intent on watching this entire exchange. Both of their heads were cocked.

  “What the fuck are you doing?!” Lance exclaimed.

  “Ash has a right to know. Right, Ash?” Yuri said.

  “So, wait a minute. You’re a tiger?” Ash rubbed their temples. They were feeling lightheaded and stumbled when they took a step backward. Lance caught them.

  “Yes, I’m a tiger,” Yuri said. “Well, technically, I’m a tiger shifter.” He folded his strong arms as goosebumps raised his skin. He was naked in the freezing cold. Naked. Apparently, that was a very normal thing for him, but he still had goosebumps.

  “Are you cold?” was the only thing Ash could think to say.

  Yuri laughed. “That’s what you’re focused on?”

  Ash pinched their arm. “Well, I don’t seem to be dreaming.”

  “Oh, my God,” Lance lamented. “Why, Yuri? I think Ash is in shock.”

  “I didn’t plan this out, okay? I was playing with Ike, Mateo joined us, and then we ran into you guys. Seemed like the perfect opportunity. Ash can handle it.”

  Ash didn’t know if they were in shock or if they were going nuts. They knew they should have been questioning this more. Maybe running and screaming or hijacking an SUV and hightailing it out of there. But Lance was still with them, holding them. Apparently, that was all the reassurance they needed.