Listen to Your Heart

by Kasie West

  “A word,” she said to me and Victoria.

  We exchanged a look. Were we in trouble?

  Ms. Lyon cleared her throat. “A caller wanted to be anonymous today, and you didn’t allow that to happen. We’ve promised the callers anonymity.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” Victoria said. “I made sure I didn’t say her name after just recognizing her voice. Only after she shared all those personal details. Everyone would have thought it was weird if I didn’t recognize her after that. Tina’s one of my best friends.”

  Ms. Lyon crossed her arms. “So I shouldn’t have tomorrow’s lab edit all of that out?”

  “I can talk to her and make sure,” Victoria replied, “but I think in the end she thought it was great.”

  “Okay,” Ms. Lyon said solemnly. “Please let me know tomorrow in class.”

  Victoria nodded, then hooked her arm through my elbow. We walked out of the booth and through the otherwise empty outer room together. When we arrived outside in the hall, we both laughed.

  “I thought she was firing us for a minute there,” Victoria said.

  “I did, too.”

  “And you didn’t seem relieved about it.”

  “I would’ve been when it sunk in.”

  “Kate!” Alana called from where she was waiting at the end of the hall.

  “See you tomorrow,” I said to Victoria.

  “Bye.”

  I walked as fast as I could until I collided with Alana.

  “So?” I said as soon as I reached her. “It sounded like him, right?”

  “Why is he changing his voice?” Alana asked.

  “Maybe he doesn’t trust us,” I said, and laughed.

  “He’d be right not to,” she said.

  “But if it is him, he’s right, you are sending him mixed messages.”

  “I don’t think I am. He’s probably just not used to having to work to get a girl. He’s going to have to try a little harder with me. I have faith in my ways.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Or I could just tell him that I know he’s been calling in to the podcast,” Alana offered.

  “No! You can’t do that,” I said.

  “Why?”

  “Ms. Lyon made a huge deal about the whole anonymity thing just now. We got a stern talking-to.”

  “About how Victoria outed her friend?”

  “Yes. But Victoria smoothed it over because her friend had given lots of clues to her identity.”

  “True.”

  “Diego hasn’t given any clues. He could literally be anyone. So be patient. If it’s him, he obviously likes you. Just make yourself available. Hang out with him more. It’s only a matter of time. He’ll either kiss you, like Victoria told him to do, or wait for it to happen naturally, like I told him to.”

  “Why did you tell him that?” Alana asked.

  “I wanted my advice to help others, too. Do you honestly want guys just walking around kissing all the girls they like if the girls aren’t into them? I just saved all of girl-manity.”

  “Or at least the ones here at Sequoia High.”

  “Right.”

  “Well, if I can’t tell him, then I’m shifting to DEFCON 1 on the flirting. Time to up my game.” Alana gave a decisive nod. “I’m asking him out.”

  “Are you having Cousins’ Night tomorrow?” Alana asked me. It was Thursday after school and we were walking down the hall toward the exit.

  “Yep. It’s the second weekend of the month and it’s my family. We will have Cousins’ Night until the end of days.”

  “You sound like this one is more of a cruel and unusual punishment than normal.”

  “No, it’s the normal angst. You know I secretly love it.”

  “Yes, I do. And it’s fun and weird and when I asked Diego if he wanted to do something tomorrow night and he said he was watching his niece and nephew, I may have invited them all to your Cousins’ Night.”

  I stopped in the middle of the crowded hall and turned toward Alana. “You what!”

  Someone bumped into me from behind and Alana tugged on my arm to move me forward again. “This is all part of my DEFCON 1 flirting phase,” she explained calmly.

  “Inviting him to my house?”

  “I know. Are you mad?”

  “Um … I’m trying to decide.”

  My family was … well, my family. Outsiders had a hard time understanding our living situation. Even Hunter had always thought it was a bit odd.

  Alana and I pushed through the doors and walked outside into the parking lot. I let out a breath.

  “You know, Samantha and Tami would make fun of you for this idea of a first date,” I said at last.

  “Who are Samantha and Tami?”

  “From the podcast you recommended? First Dates.”

  “Oh. Right. Well, Diego thought it sounded like a lot of fun and that his niece and nephew would love it.”

  “So you’ve already prewarned him about the Bailey family situation?”

  “I kind of had to.”

  “Okay.” I stopped at my car, accepting the reality of the situation. “So I guess there will be guests at my Cousins’ Night, then.”

  Alana gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, thank you!”

  Cousins’ Night was in full swing—popcorn everywhere, video games on the big screen, comic-book action scenes being acted out in the corner, and my energy nearly drained—when the doorbell rang. Levi, my seven-year-old cousin, who was closest to the door, answered it while I worked my way around the couch cushions dotting the floor.

  “Kate, the carpet is lava!” Cora said.

  “Oh, right.” I jumped on a cushion and continued my journey to the door.

  “Are you guys cousins?” I heard Levi asking when I hopped off the last cushion and onto the tile entryway.

  Alana and Diego stood there, along with two kids.

  “They are honorary cousins tonight, Levi,” I said, pulling my young cousin aside. “You know Alana.”

  Levi shrugged and ran off.

  “Hi, guys,” I said, opening the door wider.

  Alana had a big smile on her face. “This is Camilla, and that’s Samuel.” She pointed to the two dark-haired, brown-eyed kids standing with Diego. The little boy looked like a mini version of Diego. He was adorable. They both were. But they also both looked a bit apprehensive.

  “Hi, I’m Kate. How old are you guys?”

  Diego put his hand on Camilla’s head and said, “Seven.” Then he moved his hand to Samuel’s. “And ten.”

  “Nice. Levi is seven, and my cousin Morgan is ten.” I stepped aside. “Come in. There are snacks in the kitchen, comic-book acting in that corner, video games in that one, and board games in the dining room.”

  Liza, who’d been hanging out with Max in the comic-book acting corner, strolled over to see what was happening. “Diego?” she asked in surprise.

  “Hey, Liza,” he said. “Which comic book are you acting out?”

  “One Max wrote. It’s pretty awesome.”

  A beanbag flew past me and hit Diego in the shoulder. I winced, but he only leaned over, picked it up, and lobbed it toward Morgan on the other side of the room. Morgan shrieked and ducked behind a cushion before it hit her.

  Camilla took this as a sign to join the beanbag war while Samuel wandered over to the video gamers. Levi promptly handed him a controller. Alana’s smile had turned to a nervous What have I done? face, but Diego didn’t seem fazed at all.

  I gestured around the room. “What’s your poison?”

  “Observation?” Alana asked, pointing to the couch.

  “If we’re only going to observe, I want snacks first,” Diego said.

  This was the first time I’d talked to Diego since his second call in to the podcast, and I listened carefully to his voice to make sure I had been right.

  “What?” he asked.

  “What?” I echoed.

  “Why are you staring at me like that? Do I have something on m
y face?” He ran a hand across his cheeks and forehead, pushing his wavy locks to the side.

  “No. I just … I … what were you asking for?”

  “Snacks,” Alana said, giving me wide eyes.

  “Oh, right. Follow me. But the carpet is lava so choose your path carefully.” I led the way to the kitchen and turned once to see Diego and Alana actually using cushions and blankets along with me to avoid the carpet. Alana had a hold of Diego’s shoulder to help her on her journey and they were both laughing.

  “The tile is safe?” Alana asked as we reached the kitchen.

  “Very safe,” I said. “Plates and bowls are over there. Help yourself.”

  “Gummy worms?” Diego asked. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve been to a party with gummy worms.”

  “I wouldn’t really consider this a party,” I said. “More like family chaos.”

  Diego loaded up his plate with gummy worms and chips. Alana got a bowl of popcorn. I opted for a handful of M&M’s since I’d already had at least a plateful earlier. We took our treats back to the other room. Alana stopped in front of the couch and was about to sit when she realized all the cushions were gone—they were being used as safe zones.

  “Oh, give me a sec.” I ran to the guest room and stole a pile of pillows. I spread them out on the couch and we all sat. Diego was in the middle with Alana and me on either side. I watched Samuel win a game of Mario Kart on the big screen. He lifted both hands in the air and gave a loud cheer.

  “He’s very gracious in victory,” Diego said.

  I smiled.

  “What were you doing before we got here?” Diego asked, using a chip to point around the room.

  “Mario Kart champion.”

  “She’s a gracious winner, too,” Alana said.

  Diego laughed.

  “Are you the youngest in your family?” I asked Diego, thinking about the fact that he already had a niece and nephew.

  “Yes, and my sister is the oldest. There are two in between. The brother just above me is in college and the one above that lives across the country.”

  “Three boys and a girl,” Alana said as if she’d already had this conversation with him.

  “Alana is the youngest, too,” I said. “Her two older sisters are in college.”

  Why I felt the need to give Alana’s family dynamics, I wasn’t sure, because once again, when Diego only nodded, I could tell they’d had this conversation.

  “That’s why Kate comes to my house when she wants quiet.” She actually had to yell this sentence over the noise in the room.

  “Where are all the parents?” Diego asked.

  “So once a month, they have a grown-ups’ dinner party next door and we do Cousins’ Night.”

  He smirked at this. “They know how to work the system.”

  “Yes, they do.” I didn’t begrudge them for it, though. “But it’s nice. It helps them stay close. It helps us all stay close.”

  “True,” he said.

  Alana had been quiet for a few minutes, and I looked over to see her typing furiously on her phone. Diego just shrugged when he observed the same thing.

  Levi opened the back door before I could tell him no, and Uncle Tim’s dog came barreling in. CD immediately went to Diego and sniffed his elbow, then proceeded to lay his body across Diego’s legs. Diego let out a surprised grunt but then he scratched the dog behind the ears.

  “CD, no.” I shoved him off, which was much harder than it looked. Max, seeing the commotion, came over and took the dog by the collar and led him back outside.

  “Thanks, Max!” I called after him.

  “CD?” Diego asked, brushing some fur off his pants. “Do you have an obsession with music storage?”

  “It stands for Community Dog. We share him. Along with the trampoline and the gazebo.”

  Diego laughed. “That’s new.”

  “It’s okay to say weird.”

  “Weird is relative.”

  Before I could ask him to clarify, Cora, my four-year-old cousin, came running toward me, crying. She flung herself onto my lap, saying something I couldn’t understand.

  I patted her back. “What happened?”

  “Levi stole it.”

  “What did he steal?” I asked.

  “My candy.”

  Diego held out his plate, which still had a pile of gummy worms on it. “Do you want some of mine?”

  Cora immediately stopped crying, proving it was a fake cry to begin with. She nodded. When she picked up one worm and brought it to her mouth, Diego said in a small voice, “Noooo, don’t eat me.”

  Cora burst out laughing. “Candy doesn’t talk.”

  Diego widened his eyes. “That sounded like talking to me. You might not want to eat it.”

  Cora shoved the candy in her mouth and ran off. I smiled.

  Alana slammed her phone down on her leg. “Ugh.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Guess who has to keep the same partner in podcasting with the new jobs? Guess who is the only one in the whole class who does?”

  “Me?” I asked.

  “Aside from you,” she said.

  “Umm … Mallory?” I guessed again.

  “Funny. No, me. Even after my speech about how changing partners challenges us.”

  “Maybe that’s why you had to keep the same partner. Because Ms. Lyon knew you wanted to change. That seems to be what she does.”

  “You’re probably right. Ugh,” Alana said again. “And now Frank’s texting me about bringing me the partner contract that’s due on Monday because he’s going out of town.”

  I had forgotten about partner contracts. They were in the binders that day we’d been assigned our roles. The contracts basically said we had to put equal work and support into the project.

  “I told him to drop it off here,” Alana added.

  “What? Why?” Diego at my house was one thing; Frank was a whole different story.

  “Because he’s leaving tomorrow.”

  “Oh.” I looked around the living room at the craziness.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Diego said. “It’s called having a family.”

  “All right,” I said with a sigh, and Alana texted Frank back.

  Why did I let her talk me into things?

  A beanbag zipped by my head at the same moment that my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled my phone out and saw that I had a new text.

  How have you been?

  It was from Hunter.

  My heart seemed to stop in my chest. A text from Hunter. After all these weeks.

  “I …” I held up my phone. “I’ll be right back.”

  Alana gave me a questioning look and Diego just nodded. I didn’t pause to explain anything to Alana, I just went to my room. I stared at the text some more, biting my lip so hard I almost bled. I released my lip from my teeth and startled when Alana appeared in my doorway.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. Then, without waiting for my answer, she marched forward and held out her hand for my phone.

  I placed the phone in her upturned palm, knowing I needed some of her classic advice right then.

  She read the text and her face went from curious to angry. “Kathryn Bailey, you better not be thinking about responding to this.”

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Don’t. It’s time to officially let go. And look, now it will be your decision, not his.”

  I sat down on the edge of my bed, my heartbeat slowing. “I don’t even remember what his voice sounds like. Is that weird?”

  “Why are you trying to remember what his voice sounds like? Stop it.” Alana walked over and sat down beside me. “And no, it’s not weird, because you haven’t talked to him in months. Months! That’s what happens when he never calls or texts or responds to you.”

  “Okay, I get it,” I said.

  “And …”

  “And I’m not going to respond.” And I wasn’t. She was right, of course. Why should I?r />
  The doorbell rang, and Alana handed me back the phone. “That would be Frank,” she said. “I better go collect the contract so he can be on his way.”

  I followed her out of my room. Despite what I’d said seconds ago, I actually wasn’t convinced that my willpower would hold up if I was alone. A quick scan of the living room revealed that Diego was now sitting over by Liza and Max, reading through some papers, probably Max’s comic.

  Alana opened the door and instead of just collecting the contract and sending Frank on his way, she invited him inside. Guess I should’ve answered the door with her.

  I went to intercept them before Frank made it any farther into the living room.

  “Kitty Kat,” Frank said when I reached the two of them.

  “Don’t call her that,” Alana said. “She hates it. You are purposefully trying to annoy her.”

  “I didn’t know she hated it,” he said. “That’s the name she uses on the podcast. That’s the name you used when you called in from the hall that first day,” he added to Alana with a grin.

  “Shh,” Alana said. “Where’s the contract?”

  Frank was wearing his backpack and he slung it off his shoulder. He knelt down to rifle through it. Diego walked over to join our group of three.

  “Hey, Frank,” Diego said. “You’re ditching school Monday?”

  “Soccer tournament with my traveling team.”

  “You two know each other?” Alana asked.

  “We go to the same school,” Frank said.

  Alana looked at me. “That means nothing.”

  “It’s true,” I said. “I know nobody.”

  “Now everyone knows you, though,” Diego pointed out.

  I gave a single laugh. “I try not to think about that.”

  Frank freed the contract from his bookbag. “Here it is.” He handed the stapled papers to Alana. “I already signed my part. Even the part about how we’re supposed to get along and look out for each other.”

  “Are you saying I don’t do that?” Alana asked, sharing a frustrated look with me.

  “I said nothing,” he said.

  “No, you said something in that supercondescending voice you like to use.” Wow. I was used to being more hostile toward Frank than Alana was. What had changed? Did she find out he really was exactly who I thought he was, despite our supposed truce? I’d have to ask her for more details later.