by Ramy Vance
Another icicle came out of the jungle. An uneasy purring like that of a giant cat followed as a black figure slunk through the darkness. Suzuki couldn’t see the creature well, but he knew it was huge. He also saw that the creature was fading back into the jungle, having done what it intended to. “We need to stop that thing,” Suzuki said. “Whatever the hell it is.”
Diana was frantically crying. She seemed as if she didn’t even know why there were tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I need to stay here with him,” she said. “He was…in my head. We were… Please, I can’t let him die. Go.”
Suzuki stared into the darkness of the jungle. “All right, Mundanes. Time to hunt.”
The Mundanes drew their weapons and stalked toward the trees. Whatever had attacked the god was going to pay. Suzuki was going to make sure of that.
6
No sound came from the jungle. Whatever had attacked the Shishigami had either disappeared or was the quietest creature ever to stalk a jungle. Suzuki doubted it was the latter. That didn’t change the fact that the Mundanes were hardly able to see anything past the thickest of the trees, and whatever had felled the forest god was capable of sniper-level accuracy. Suzuki knew the odds were stacked against him in the current situation. He checked his HUD to see what they were.
The HUD gave him a ten percent chance of success.
Being out in the open was going to get them killed. That much was obvious. Making a dash for the jungle seemed just as risky. Whatever was in there probably had a better layout of the land than any of the Mundanes. If Suzuki was honest, the whole jungle looked the same to him. He could hardly tell one tree from the other.
An icicle shot out of the forest. It was smaller than the last two that had been fired but twice as sharp.
The icicle was heading straight toward Sandy, who raised her hand at the last minute and cast a defensive shield that shattered the icicle. The force of the attack was still enough to fling her back.
Stew helped Sandy to her feet as more icicles shot out of the forest. They were all small but extremely sharp, coming so rapidly that the Mundanes had to run for cover. Suzuki wondered if there was more than one assailant, or if whatever was attacking was just proficient with ice magic. He leaned more toward one enemy. The grouping of the attacks was too close. If he had that many bodies to work with, he would have spaced them throughout the jungle. And he did have that many bodies to work with. Now, what the hell was he going to do with them?
Beth pointed to a pile of large boulders as icicles crashed behind her. “Come on!” she shouted. “We can use it for cover.”
The Mundanes bolted for the rock pile and cowered behind it. “Any bright ideas?” Sandy asked.
Suzuki peeked out from behind the rocks. The moment his face was free of its cover, icicles came flying at him, and he ducked back behind the rocks. “Whatever is sending those things at us is obviously proficient with ice magic,” he mused aloud. “Using it exclusively. Which, I’m betting, means it has an elemental weakness. It’s also making the most of being behind cover. It might not be a tough-ass bastard in the open.”
Stew cracked his knuckles and rolled his shoulders. “That is a lot of words and a lot less killing,” he grumbled.
“There’s the Stew we’ve all come to love. If you were a little more patient, you’d find out I wasn’t done yet.”
“Dude, by the time you’re finished talking, we could be dead.”
“All right. We’re going to flank it. Sandy, I want you upfront, giving us distraction and alchemy. Chip, take to the trees and work your way around back. The rest of us are going to try to draw it out while Sandy buffs and covers us.”
Chip raised her hand as she stood up. “Excuse me, boss man. D’ya mind if I hijack Beth for a little scampering?” she asked. “Nothing like a little in-the-field training.”
Suzuki turned to Beth and shrugged. “You down to try something new?” he asked. “Knowing full well this is the worst possible time to start trying out new strategies.”
Beth smiled as she inched closer to Chip. “Let’s do it!” she exclaimed.
Chip beamed at Beth and gave her a high five. It was an oddly uncharacteristic amount of enthusiasm from both of them. Suzuki figured it was just a battle high. He raised his axe to the sky and shouted, “For honor!”
Beth raised her sword as well. “For glory!”
Stew held his axe high as Sandy pointed her wand skyward. “For XP!”
Suzuki turned to Sandy and pointed toward the jungle. “All right, Sandy, take point. Move us forward slowly!” he commanded.
Sandy stepped out from behind the pile of rocks.
The moment she was out from behind cover, the icicles started to fly. Hundreds of small, razor-sharp icicles the size of bullets shot out from the jungle. Sandy held her hands in front of her, her ashen cloak changing from gray to green as flowers started to bloom across her bony hands. A clear barrier popped up in front of her. The icicles that passed through the barrier turned to lavender petals.
Once the barrage was over, Suzuki and Stew stepped out from behind Sandy, Suzuki holding his own small magical barrier, and Stew casting a Stoneskin spell over himself. Sandy hummed slightly, harmonizing her magic with Stew’s to buff his spell.
As Stew, Suzuki, and Sandy slowly advanced across the river separating them from the jungle, Beth and Chip slipped into the shadows. They went around the riverbank, sticking as close to the stones and rocks as possible. They were low to the ground and moved quickly as they went around where they thought the creature might be.
Chip leapt into the trees and landed effortlessly on a tree branch. Beth jumped next and wavered as she tried to maintain her balance on the branch. Chip grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling and held a finger to her lips.
Chip’s eyes glowed bright red for a second as she stared into the darkness of the jungle. She surveyed the area before pointing to a spot in the darkness. A moment or two passed, then the dark spot Chip was indicating lit up as something conjured a handful of icicles that flew toward the Mundanes who were still near the river.
Sandy stopped and transmuted the icicles again as Suzuki and Stew hid behind her. They all waited for a few moments until they were certain it was safe to move again.
Chip headed in the direction where she had seen the flash of magic. Beth followed her as they moved to a position behind where the flash had come from. Chip’s hand converted to a cannon, and she took aim as Beth drew her sword. As Beth was preparing to leap down, Chip lightly touched her on the shoulder. When Beth turned around, Chip was holding a short bow and quiver. She handed it to Beth, who took it, looking down at the bow and arrows as if she didn’t know what to do with them. After a brief hesitation, she slung the quiver over her shoulder, drew an arrow, and nocked it.
Chip leaned forward and whispered in Beth’s ear, “It’s got a nice little upgrade too if you wanna try being fancy. Just think…fire.”
Beth smiled as she concentrated on fire, imagining flames in her mind’s eye.
The end of her arrow caught flame. “Fucking sweet,” she murmured.
Chip pointed down to where there was another flash of magic. “All right, let’s see what we can rustle up,” she whispered.
Chip fired a plasma shot directly behind where the magic had been conjured. Beth fired right afterward as well. Her arrow hit a tree and burst into flames, creating a wall of fire. There was a loud screech—not of pain, but of fear, followed by crashing. Chip and Beth continued to pepper the area, preventing the creature from retreating and pushing it toward the river. Every time the creature screeched, Chip would zero in on its position and give Beth a visual cue, and they would rain fire from the trees.
Below, the Mundanes advanced as quickly as possible, taking advantage of the respite from attacks. Suzuki readied his axe. He knew it was only going to be a few moments before the Mundanes and their enemy converged.
Suzuki saw a flash of magic on the outskirt
s of the jungle. He flipped his axe once in his hand, caught it, and tossed the axe at the point the magic was coming from. His attack was greeted with a screech of pain that harrowed him down to his bones.
A massive cat burst out of the jungle. It stood ten feet tall and was deep orange with murderous green eyes. The cat, Azrael, was all lean muscle, its long body plunging into the cool river water as it rolled over, dousing the flames in its fur. As it rose, smoke coming off its singed fur, its eyes fell on Suzuki.
Suzuki had no time to react. The cat had surged forward in a torrent of speed and muscle. It connected with him a few seconds later, knocking the wind out of him as it sent him skipping over the water like a stone thrown by a child. Suzuki continued to skip across the water until he hit a tree, and his head swam as he tried to pick himself up. As he stood, a paw clawed him across the face, and he was tossed to the ground. Azrael towered over him, the jungle cat’s mouth foaming, its green eyes glowing in the dim light.
Azrael lunged forward to bite Suzuki’s throat, but stopped mid-attack and cast a look over its shoulder. Stew had it by the tail. He smirked as he pulled back, dragging the cat away from Suzuki, then threw the cat over his shoulder.
Azrael flew through the air, flailing. It landed on its feet and hissed at Stew as he unsheathed his broadswords, screaming, and ran at the cat. Sandy was right behind him, flinging fireballs in the jungle cat’s direction.
Stew leapt and brought both swords down on Azrael, who simply stepped to the side in an elegant movement nearly too fast for any of the Mundanes to catch. Using that same speed, it tackled Sandy, pinning her under one of its paws.
Sandy wasted no time launching her own attack. She screamed as her ash cloak burst into flames, her entire body covered by fire, looking like a demon wraith from the very pits of hell.
Azrael cried out in pain and bolted away from Sandy. It looked down at its singed paw before leaning over to lick it in such a feline fashion that it looked like a domestic cat. Then its fur burst into flames, its eyes glowing with fire. The water it stood in instantly evaporated. The jungle was filled with heat, the cat feeling like the sun, radiating warmth.
Sandy stood to her feet as Stew circled the cat, slashing but unable to get any closer. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Stew shouted.
Suzuki had caught his breath and was racing back to the battlefield as he recalled his axe back to his hand. He flipped down his HUD to check their chances of survival. The HUD read five percent. He gritted his teeth, determined to make that count. “Sandy!” he shouted. “End those flames!”
Sandy nodded and levitated. She raised her wand toward the skies and dark clouds gathered. A crack of lightning was followed instantly by a godlike boom of thunder.
Azrael took no notice of Sandy. Instead, the feline turned its attention to Chip and Beth. Azrael turned to face them, effortlessly knocking Stew away with its hind leg. Chip fired at it, but the cat was too fast. It leapt to the side and pounced on her. Azrael bit into Chip’s cannon hand and ripped it off with hardly any effort. Chip screamed in pain as her other hand contorted into a cannon, firing a sizable plasma blast, which sent Azrael flying.
Chip stood and held her arm to her side as blood poured from the wound. She knelt and searched the water for her hand as Beth pulled out her sword and shield, dashing toward the cat, which was rearing up on its hind legs like a lion, roaring loudly as it shot fire from its mouth toward Sandy, who swerved out of the way as she waved her wand around, pulling water from the sky and river, rolling it up into a watery sphere. She brought her wand down and the sphere came crashing down on Azrael, sending a tidal wave of water crashing into the river.
Beth tossed her shield down and jumped onto it like a surfboard. She rode the tidal wave to get closer to the jungle cat, then leapt, her sword in both hands, flying straight toward the cat’s head. She brought her sword down in between the cat’s eyes.
A second before Beth’s blade connected with the cat, Azrael’s skin changed to the consistency of water, and Beth passed straight through. She hit the river’s surface hard as Azrael’s new form swirled into a watery version of itself, still attached to the water of the river.
Azrael looked around at the Mundanes, who surrounded the cat. Its fur was bristling. Then it hissed and collapsed into the water.
Suzuki looked down at the water to see if there was any way to see where the cat was. All he could see was water. “Sandy, everyone in the air now!” he shouted.
Sandy’s voice cracked as she answered, “I can’t levitate everyone! It’s too many people!”
“Sandy! Mundanes! Air! Now!”
“Goddamn it!” Sandy shouted as she catapulted into the water.
Sandy’s wand transformed into a gnarled, wooden staff. She slammed the staff into the water like some sort of pagan Moses, causing the water to explode into the air around her.
Suzuki’s feet started to levitate off the ground. He looked around, and the rest of the Mundanes were also floating up. Sandy was the only one still on the ground. “Uh, Sandy, that includes you,” Suzuki ordered.
Sandy looked back over her shoulder at the floating Mundanes. “I can’t do it and all of you too,” she explained calmly. “It’s too much mana.”
“You’re an open target down there!”
“Yeah, I know. You better be coming up with a fucking plan.”
Suzuki wracked his brain. If Diana was here, this would have been an easy problem to solve. Diana could have frozen the river while Sandy kept everyone out of harm’s way. But that was too much of a strain. All Suzuki knew was Azrael could counter any elemental magic Sandy threw its way. The elemental magic Suzuki could work was limited. Same with the rest of the Mundanes, if they were able to. There weren’t a lot of options.
The water beneath the Mundanes swirled, coming together in a wave with the roaring mouth of Azrael. The tidal wave came crashing down on Sandy, who raised her staff, the water that would have hit her converting to steam as the Mundanes above her started to fall.
The tidal wave passed. Sandy remained standing. The falling Mundanes halted in mid-air. Suzuki turned to Chip. “How strong is that plasma cannon?” Suzuki asked.
Chip looked down at her damaged hand. “Could be a tad stronger,” she muttered.
“If that cat comes at me, will it be strong enough to break apart the water?”
“Disrupt it, yeah. It’ll blow a hole through a water wall.”
“All right, get ready.” Then Suzuki turned to Beth and Stew. “When that thing takes solid form, I want you two to put everything you got into putting it down. This one is gonna be heavy on you, Stew.”
Stew nodded as he pulled out his hefty battle axe. “I can go berserk,” he said. “It’ll take a lot out of me, but I can take the cat. It’s just a fucking cat.”
“All right. Sandy, get ready. You’ll know what to do.”
Sandy stumbled forward a little bit but caught herself. “Whatever you’re planning on doing, just fucking do it!” she grumbled.
Suzuki pulled up his HUD and went to change his scent. He concentrated on what he felt was the dumbest idea he’d had to date. Catnip. After he focused on the idea of catnip, he closed his eyes and tried to see if he could smell any change. Does catnip even have a smell, he thought to himself.
Suzuki’s answer came in the sound of an increasingly loud and feral roar. He looked down beneath him as the water of the river began to pull together, taking on the shape of the massive jungle cat. Before Suzuki had any time to react, Azrael had thrown itself through the air. The cat flew at Suzuki with an impressive measure of grace. If Suzuki was going to die today, at least he was going out with some style.
Before Azrael could connect with Suzuki, Chip aimed her cannon and fired off a shot of steaming, hot plasma. The blast went straight through Azrael, sending its body off into different places, its head separating from its chest, claws and arms flying back down the river. The cat screamed in pain as its eyes rolled around in its head,
trying to find where its different appendages had gone. Already the water that formed its body was reaching out, trying to pull itself together.
As Azrael tried to recombine itself, Sandy let the Mundanes fall back to the ground, her staff changing back to the wand, herself floating through the air toward Azrael. As she waved her wand, the air around her became cold enough for icicles to form on the noses of the Mundanes. Bringing her wand down and taking aim, a blast of arctic cold shot forth, instantly freezing Azrael.
Azrael fell to the ground, its eyes wide at being converted to another solid. The cat was obviously confused by the change of events. Its body started to change, reverting back to flesh and blood, the form Suzuki thought was its default. He figured a big enough shock to the jungle cat’s system would force it to have something like a hard reset. Turns out, he was right, though he wasn’t ready for what stood before him.
The cat had indeed returned to flesh and blood, but its body had pulled itself together in the same shape it had been frozen in. Its legs were stretched to thin noodles while its arms were hulking, grotesque parodies of muscle, and its neck was long like a snake’s as it hissed and swatted at the Mundanes in front of it.
Beth lunged forward, using her own spectacular speed to take aim at the creature’s back paws. She sliced through both strings of flesh with one flourish while Stew stepped in front of the cat, his chest growing larger and larger, all the muscles in his body swelling as his eyes went red and foam poured from his mouth. Raising his axe high above his head and bringing it down in between Azrael’s eyes, the creature’s skull split in two, right down the middle.
The Mundanes gathered around the bizarre remains of Azrael.
Stew laughed as his body started to shrink down to its regular size. “Now, that was a fucking fight.” He chuckled.
