by Ramy Vance
Sandy stood by the guts of Azrael, which had exploded all over the river. The body of partially digested Smuggles floated in the water. “I guess this thing preys on Smuggles,” she explained. “Wonder if they’ve ever wanted to try apex predator before. I know I have.”
Beth turned her face up at Sandy. “Are you serious, dude?” she asked. “You’d eat a cat?”
Sandy nodded without turning to face Beth. “This is Middang3ard. It would have eaten us if it killed us. It’s the least we can do to return the favor.”
Suzuki raised his hands to put a stop to the discussion. “Let’s table that,” he interrupted. “First, we find Diana and the Forest Spirit. Then we’ll talk about whatever disgusting ideas you guys have.”
The Mundanes found Diana upriver. She had dragged the Forest Spirit to the riverbank and they sat together, the Shishigami’s head resting on Diana’s thigh. Diana gently stroked the Spirit’s head as it breathed slow and shallow.
At the approach of the Mundanes, the Shishigami raised his head, eyes slowly opening as if waking from a dream. His lips turned up in a smile as he shakily got to his feet. Walking to the Mundanes, his head bowed slowly and he softly licked Suzuki’s hand, then went to the next Mundane, showing his thankfulness in his own way.
Diana stood and came over to the Mundanes, her face worn. She looked like she hadn’t slept for days, her eyes red from either tears or stress. She moved with the weight of one who has been running for some time and looked as if she had just been through a battle.
The Shishigami’s antlers stretched out toward the branches of the trees as if they were growing slightly longer. “I almost left this world,” the Shishigami said. “It was almost my time to see another adventure. But your friend insisted on me staying here with Middang3ard.”
Diana laughed, and a little bit of color came back to her face. “You make it sound like I was pestering you,” she said. “You almost died. Not to be dramatic, but you were this close to slipping into wherever the hell you go.”
“There are many places one can go. You know this better than anyone.”
Chip stepped forward. She was troubled by something. “Where do you go?” she asked.
The Shishigami smiled again. Something about its smile put Suzuki at ease. It was familiar yet foreign, haunting yet comforting. “You wish to know where the dead dwell?” the Shishigami asked.
“Just one.”
The Shishigami looked at the blood that covered the Mundanes. “You felled Azrael?” he asked.
Stew picked at his teeth and then looked at the Shishigami. “You mean the big cat?” he queried. “Yeah, we killed the shit out of that thing.”
Diana took out her notebook and jotted a note, muttering to herself. “His speech pattern has nearly completely returned to normal. Personality still off, hasn’t said anything insensitive in a while.”
Stew reached out for the Shishigami’s antlers. “Do you mind if I?” he asked.
The Shishigami bowed. “Please.”
Stew ran his hand over them. Bits of bark broke off in his hand, and he stared down at his palms. “You know, these would fetch some decent cash if you were ever hunted.”
Diana jotted another note. “I stand corrected.”
Stew pulled out a knapsack and tossed the antler shavings in. “Not that I would do anything like that,” he quickly added. “I just meant you must be in danger a lot. Your antlers are…beautiful.”
The Shishigami laughed, a sound as beautiful as the river flowing beside him. “True, true. Not here, though. I am the sacred guardian of the forests and jungle. My subjects revere me, and none but the most loyal of the Dark One’s servants would dream of harming me. If I were to fall, the entire island would collapse into the sea. It has happened once, but that is a long story, and you and your friends must have many questions. I believe the Smuggles would appreciate the body of the cat you felled.”
Suzuki gasped in awe as he tried to keep his words somewhat reverential. “You heard us saying that?” he asked, shocked.
“I hear all that comes and goes within my domain. Now let us go. The Smuggles will wish to provide an ample feast.”
The Shishigami turned away from the Mundanes and walked into the jungle without saying another word. Stew leaned over to Suzuki and whispered, “Do you think that thing is really a god?”
Suzuki knew the Japanese legend of the Shishigami. He had seen it in animes growing up and had done a little more research as he had gotten older. It seemed right that anime was full of stories that were only seeding the human race with inclinations toward the truth. At least with the Shishigami, it went back even further than anime and mangas. So much Japanese media was rooted in folktale and legend. It was as if the Japanese had been told a long time ago that certain things were true, and they never allowed themselves to forget it. The same could be seen in English literature based on legends of fairies and brownies. Every culture probably had the same thing going on.
Suzuki nodded as he followed after the Shishigami. “Yeah, I think so,” he replied to Stew. “Next time we meet a god, don’t tell him his antlers would make a good trophy.”
“Dude, it just slipped out. At least I didn’t tell him I would have been the one hunting him.”
“You do know he hears everything that happens in the forest.”
“Goddamn it.”
“Even when you’re trying to be polite, you still manage to shove your foot in your mouth. At least some things never change.”
The Mundanes were gathered around a large fire near where they had originally been captured by the Smuggles. They had brought the cat, which they had butchered and quartered, leaving only the head intact, to be dragged by Stew to the Smuggles, offering it as a gift. The Smuggles had been delighted, and thousands of them poured out of the jungle. Suzuki was surprised there were so many of them since they had only seen a small number during their battle and the Smuggle’s ritual.
The many hands of the Smuggles made preparation of the cat, decorations for festivities, and general merrymaking quick work. It hardly took any time for the cat to be further butchered into smaller, more manageable pieces for the Smuggles. The meat for the Mundanes was kept separate, and Diana and Stew tended to the preparing of their allotted food.
The elder bearded Smuggle made a great show of bestowing the meat on the Mundanes. He attempted to drag it over to them, and eventually opting for a couple of carts to stack the meat on and dragged them toward Chip and Diana, who he had decided were the leaders.
Suzuki didn’t mind the mistake. He was happy anytime someone assumed he was just a member of the party. The pressure he felt from his party members wasn’t intense, but it was there. His knack for being able to strategize and rally his friends had situated him as the de facto leader. Furthermore, he actually enjoyed it. He had never been one to call the shots until he had started playing Middang3ard VR. When he was thrust into the real thing, with stakes larger than anything he had ever imagined, he had initially floundered under the pressure. It was starting to feel normal now. He had pulled off some pretty crazy shit. He felt comfortable with the title, the Most Mundane of Mundanes.
Once Diana and Stew seasoned the cat meat with spices Diana had “borrowed” from the Red Lion’s kitchen (she was very adamant that the Mundanes not let Wendy know of the loan), they got to grilling. They talked quietly and with an air of excitement. There seemed to be only one thing Stew and Diana had in common, and that was a love of food.
The rest of the Mundanes broke off into their own clusters to take care of whatever they thought was important until dinner. Chip repaired her arm, sitting cross-legged, eyes closed. She held the severed hand close to the wrist, and her techno-organic skin started slowly reconnecting itself.
Beth sat on a rock with her HUD pulled down, listening to an old AM radio. She was wearing a large, military-grade headset. Suzuki took a seat over near her, and she looked up at him before he leaned over to kiss her. Beth absentmindedly kissed Suz
uki back before turning to fiddle with the radio that was hooked up to her headset.
Suzuki leaned over to get a better look at it. It looked like something that had survived the Vietnam war, and was years and years behind the tech the local military or the MERCs had. “What’s with the old tech?” Suzuki asked.
Beth continued twisting knobs, her eyes focused and her brow furrowed in concentration as she answered. “Best way to communicate now,” she explained, drawling her words, absorbed in the task of finding the right station. “After the military found out about all our tech being reverse-engineered Dark One-tech, they went through everything. You remember when our HUDs got confiscated once we got back? That was to make sure they weren’t susceptible to the Dark One’s influence like Chip was. Can you imagine an entire platoon going haywire?”
“Yeah, that would be pretty fucked up. But if the Dark One could have hijacked all of the MERCs and military, he would have done it.”
“That’s what the bigwigs figured too. Still, the military wanted to make sure none of our communications had the slightest chance to fall into the Dark One’s hands. So, we went straight old school. Most everyone got retrained.”
“How about you? You had left the military by then. You’ve been with us pretty much all the time.”
Beth looked up, smirking smugly. “Got friends in high places,” she admitted. “Plus, I still have friends in the military. I want to make sure they're safe. Also, MERC intel sucks troll cock. You guys…I mean, we don’t get anything until it’s already passed through bullshit military brass. So, I figured, why not just keep checking the source?”
Suzuki stared at Beth. If he could have seen himself, he would have laughed. He looked like a high schooler who’d just met his crush for the first time. “How did you learn all this stuff?” he asked. “Like, the radio and dispatching and that military nerd shit?”
“My dad and I used to do military cosplay and games. He served a while ago. It fucked him up. A lot. He never really got over it, but it was a huge part of his life, you know? It was part of his identity. He couldn’t go to the base or anything because of his PTSD, but cosplay was something he could do. It helped him work through a lot of shit. Just running through drills and teaching stuff he learned. I fucking loved it.”
“Yeah, that sounds really sweet. Your dad seems like a cool guy.”
Beth chuckled. “You’ll find out for yourself. Once we kick the Dark One’s alien ass, we’re going home as heroes. And we’re throwing a hero’s barbeque in my backyard with the parents. You’re meeting the whole family. You better start prepping. They don’t take to nerds very much.”
Suzuki laughed as he leaned against the rock Beth sat atop. “Not even a nerd who rode a dragon in the biggest battle Middang3ard has ever seen.”
“They don’t impress easily. And that dragon only let you ride her because she was sprung for you. Now, please, be hot in silence. I’m trying to listen.”
Beth reached down and scratched the back of Suzuki’s neck before returning to her communication device. While Beth worked, Suzuki looked across the small camp and saw the Shishigami speaking with Sandy. Sandy was holding the head of an orc necromancer she had taken as a trophy while they had been fighting their way through the Dark One’s defense rings. When Sandy noticed Suzuki staring, she reached up and pulled down her hood to hide her face.
Suzuki sighed and pulled out his axe, flipped down his HUD, and started looking through his list of ingredients and tools. “She has gotten so weird since we got to Middang3ard,” Suzuki muttered under his breath.
Beth laughed from above. “You’re fucking telling me, Suzy.”
Suzuki looked at his hand axe through his HUD. Some of the enchantments were wearing off. The stronger ones, namely the enchantment that gave his axe the ability to be recalled through thought, were still holding strong. Those were deeply rooted in the axe. There was a chance they would never grow dull. Other chants were mostly superficial—small homing or sharpness buffs. They got the job done, as did the enchantments on his armor, but tonight Suzuki wanted to try something more interesting.
Stew’s voice broke Suzuki’s train of thought. “Dinner’s on!” he shouted.
The Mundanes surrounded the fire as Diana and Stew dished out plates of cat. The meal was completed by a collection of mushrooms and vegetables the Smuggles had acquired for the Mundanes. Once everyone was served, they sat around the fire as if they were family. For the first few minutes, they ate in silence, relishing the salty, sticky cat meat that had been roasted to perfect succulence. The vegetables balanced the meal, cleansing the palate almost like water so one could more fully taste the cat.
About halfway through the meal, Diana started pouring everyone drinks. Chip opted out, preferring to suck on one of Diana’s beetles instead. The rest gladly took a tankard of ale as the remaining Smuggles brought their plates to the Mundanes’ fire. The elder, gray-bearded Smuggle took a seat next to a blond smuggle, who also had a beard. The blond Smuggle pulled on Suzuki’s pants and said, “We are honored to have you tonight.”
Suzuki, not knowing what to do, humbly bowed his head and said, “Thank you. The honor is all ours.”
“You saved the Shishigami. You saved our forest. We owe you much.”
Suzuki waved away the Smuggles thanks before realizing how rude it might look. “We’re glad to help,” he said. “That’s kind of what we’re here to do.”
Across the fire, Chip beamed at Suzuki. “Only part of the truth.” Chip chuckled. “We also came for the flavor of the gods. Can’t forget the finer points of adventuring, am I right?”
Diana snapped one of her beetles in half and tossed it in her ale. “Wish we had some of that ambrosia right now.”
Chip leaned over and grabbed Diana by the shoulders. “Might want to hold off on guzzling that there bugger,” she said. “Feast your eyes on my ingenuity.” Chip pulled down her HUD and went through her inventory until she squealed with delight.
A machine conjured itself into Chip’s lap. It looked almost like a food processor had been taped to a jet engine. There were elaborate pipes running through the whole thing. The machine was split into two sections with what appeared to be a processing or distilling section and then another one that looked to be good for holding liquid.
Diana clapped her hands together with excitement. “No, you didn’t!” she shouted.
Chip, a smug smile on her face, stood up, hands on hips. “Yes, I most certainly did.”
“Care to let any of us in on why you’re both so excited,” Suzuki asked.
Chip held her arms out at the odd machine like a game show host unveiling a prize. “This, my dear ladies and chums, is my patented, easy fixing and mixing, ambrosia distiller,” she exclaimed. “Make a short task of the painful ass fucking which is distilling this shite. Care to wander down a wild road?”
“You said this stuff was pretty strong, right?”
“Strong ain’t the right word. Strange fits best. Some folks feel it like a creamy ale, others go down a rabbit hole of bleakness and odd sights. Most just get royally fucked. Care to join?”
Stew fist pumped and leaned over the fire to give Chip props. “Hell, yeah, dude. Let’s do this!” he shouted.
Chip bowed low to the Smuggles sitting at the fire. “Care to partake, perchance?”
The elder Smuggle looked at the blonde Smuggle who, in turn, looked at the other Smuggles. They all stared solemnly at each other, eventually passing their looks back to the elder Smuggle like some sort of ocular wave. The elder Smuggle pulled out a pipe and began to puff. “It would be our honor.”
“Then let’s get-a-cracking.”
Diana stood to help Chip unpack the ambrosia and begin loading it into the machine. Stew also went to give a hand. He was obviously interested in the extraction process. That left the rest of the Mundanes to entertain themselves and the Shishigami.
Beth sipped her ale and stared into the flames. “The Dark One is ramping up his forc
es,” she said softly. “There are reports he’s taken over almost all of the Eastern Encampments of Middang3ard. The guys said it’s getting real fucked up.”
Suzuki looked at Beth. Her face was stony, hardly betraying any emotion, but Suzuki could hear it in her voice. She was scared. “That’s not news,” Suzuki offered. “He’s been pretty aggressively expanding over the last few weeks.”
“That’s not the only thing. They said there’s shit they’ve never seen before. Creatures…they don’t know what they are. Everyone keeps saying it’s, like, when they see them, they don’t see them. And they’re taking people away. Just dragging them into thin air. Everyone sounds pretty fucked up about it.”
“You think they might be like the creatures we saw back at the defense rings?”
“Could be. Who knows? I’d have to see it, you know.”
Suzuki reached out for Beth’s hand, but she folded them together in her lap and continued staring at the flame. He wished there was something he could do or say to help her know it was going to be okay, but he knew that he couldn’t. He hadn’t seen what the Dark One was capable of like she had. Even then, he wasn’t sure if he knew everything was going to be okay. They had managed to survive their encounter with the Dark One’s Viceroy, but it had been a narrow victory. It also didn’t seem like the Dark One had any lack of resources. There could already be a new Viceroy.
Sandy was still speaking with the Forest Spirit. Whatever they were talking about absorbed both of them. Diana had even gone over to join them. Suzuki couldn’t tell, but it felt like their words weren’t traveling, not in the way that happened when someone cast a sound dampening spell. That was more like muffling. Suzuki felt like their conversation was simply disappearing, as if their words were being sucked into the air once they had trickled off their lips.
Across the fire, Chip was staring at Diana and the rest of them. Her pupils were large, and she looked to be agitated. “You said…” she started, “You said that you would tell us what happens after death. Do you really know?”
