Love and Wargames: A Bad Boy Hacker Romance

by Kiss, Tabatha

  “Tobias…” I whisper.

  He turns back and takes my hand. “Come on,” he says. “Just keep your head down.”

  I stare at my feet and I let him drag me through the silent hallways until we he finally pauses in front of an open doorway.

  “Claire,” he begins, “this is Mary.”

  I look into the room. There’s a girl, no older than myself, lying in the bed. Her eyes are closed. Her black hair, long and perfect, lies on either side of her pale face. Her hands, small like mine, lie across her lap with overlapping fingers. A rhythmic whooshing sounds cuts the silence in pieces as a respirator forces air into her lungs through a plastic tube sticking out of her mouth.

  I turn away. “What happened to her?” I ask Tobias.

  He steps into the room. I stay behind, clinging to the doorway. “She got mixed up with some bad people,” he says, staring down at Mary’s serene expression. “Started taking drugs, staying out all night. She’d go missing for days at a time and come back home blitzed out of her mind with no memory of where she was — or so she claimed.”

  My feet carry me inside. “Where were you?”

  “I…” He keeps his head down. “I was too busy with my own shit to even notice that she needed my help. Dad tried, but… by then it was already too late. One day, she didn’t come home at all.” He reaches out to her and touches her hands softly, careful not to disturb her graceful pose. “They found her by the side of the road, about a mile away from the house.”

  I clutch my chest, staring across the room at her thin face. “Jeez…” I breathe, unable to process any other words or sounds.

  He turns to me and somehow, he shows a smile to lighten the mood. “They want to move her somewhere smaller and closer to home, but…” He shakes his head once. “She can’t get the care she deserves there. As long as we keep paying, they can’t touch her.”

  I look into his dark eyes. “Is this why you fight?” I ask slowly.

  “She’s why I fight,” he says. “The money I get from the tournament will be more than enough to keep her here until she wakes up.”

  “Do they think she will?”

  “Doc says there’s a good chance.” He looks at her again. “That’s good enough for me.”

  My eyes wander her pale, blank face, as he leans over to plant a kiss on her head. “I feel awful…” I mutter.

  “Why?” he asks.

  “I live in her room.”

  Tobias steps away from the bed. “Don’t feel bad, Claire.” He pauses next to me. “Beds were meant to be slept in. Books were made to be read.” His eyes fall to my jacket. “Clothes were meant to be worn. She’d want that.”

  My skin crawls. “I’m so sorry, Tobias,” I say, forcing the lump in my throat down.

  He smiles again and cups my cheek with warm fingers. “Well, I get the feeling she’d like you. Probably wouldn’t mind you borrowing her stuff for a little while.”

  It’s supposed to comfort me, but the lump grows. This girl — she’s just like me in almost every way. One more party, one more hit, one more burst of anger from Rick, and it could be me lying in this bed, trapped inside a body that no longer does its job. I feel nauseous and scared. My skin itches, eager to rid myself of her clothing. It’s too much for me to handle. It’s not—

  “Claire…” Tobias whispers my name, drawing me out of my dark spiral of thoughts. “Let’s go home.”

  I nod as he wipes a tear off my cheek.

  ***

  We stop at a gas station just down the street from the hospital. Tobias climbs off the motorbike to refill our tank while I watch the cars pass by us on the busy street and fight the tears stinging my eyes. As hard as he tried to comfort me, I can’t shake the spiders off my skin. I can’t sit still without that black pit in my stomach getting darker and stronger.

  I pull the large helmet off my head and set it down on the seat. “I’m going to use the bathroom,” I tell Tobias. He nods, saying nothing, but I notice him keep his eyes on me while I step inside. I’ve gotten used to him watching over me and I don’t mind it, but right now, I need a moment to myself.

  The gas station is nearly deserted, save the bored-looking cashier leaning over the counter with a dirty magazine in his hands. I follow the broken neon sign pointing towards the restrooms to the back corner and pull the door open.

  More tears hit my cheeks before I even manage to lock the door behind me. I haven’t recovered from what I just saw and I’m honestly not sure I ever will. My heart breaks slowly in my chest, each passing moment feeling worse than the one that came before it. I turn on the hot water and let the faucet run onto my cold, shaking hands.

  I live in her room.

  I think of Charlie. Even he makes a little more sense now. There are moments when he looks over at me and I feel like he’s looking right through me. Now I know why. He’s not looking at me, he’s looking at Mary — the person he failed to help before it was too late.

  I wipe the tears off my face before leaving the bathroom.

  “Claire.”

  I freeze and look up, his voice scratching down my spine. His thick shoulders cast a dark shadow over me and I quiver down to the bone.

  Pike the Punisher.

  “Oh, hi—” My tongue goes numb in my mouth and I choke on my words. I try to step around him, but he easily blocks my path.

  “What are you doing all the way out here in St. Louis?” he asks with curled lips. His feet continue gliding forward along the dirty linoleum floor, pushing me to step backward.

  “I’m just passing through—”

  “No—” He shakes his head. “You should stay awhile. Hang out with me.”

  “I really can’t.” My back hits the bathroom door and my breath spills off my lips.

  Pike reaches into his jacket pocket. “I don’t usually break out the good stuff so easily,” he whispers as he pulls out a small, plastic baggy with an X written in blood-red ink on the bottom corner. My eyes fall on the familiar white powder inside and I bite my tongue. “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”

  “No…” I cower against the door. “I don’t want that—”

  “Sure you do,” he chuckles. “I could see it on you the moment I saw you. You’re a party girl.”

  “No, I’m not—”

  He leans in closer, pressing his body against mine. I turn my cheek to get away from the stale stench of his breath, but he reaches out and grips my face with his thick fingers to draw me back. “Even if you’re not…” He growls and reaches for the bathroom door handle. “You will be.”

  Before he can pull the door open, a hand grabs his shoulder and jerks him away from me with great force. I jump with a start and watch as Tobias tosses him back into a display of water bottles, knocking it and Pike to the floor. Tobias plants himself between us, standing as firm as wall.

  Pike launches himself off the floor, laughter teasing his throat. “Tobias!” he greets with a smile. “You’re looking better than I expected after the beating you took the other night.”

  “You should see the other guy,” Tobias replies.

  “Yeah—” Pike laughs. “I have. We should start calling you Tobias the Tooth Puller.” I cringe and Pike’s lips curl. “What, you didn’t tell her?” he asks, watching my reaction.

  “Stay away from her,” Tobias seethes.

  “She has the right to know the kind of monster she’s dealing with. Isn’t that right, darling?”

  I turn away as bile rises in my throat. Tobias slowly reaches behind his back and I place my hand in his.

  Pike scoffs. “Lighten up, man. Me and her were just talking. No harm done.”

  “I think you’ve harmed my family enough, Pike. It’s time for you to leave.”

  Pike’s laughter makes my blood run cold. “Seems like you have some anger issues to work out, Tobias,” he quips. “But I think we should save it for the tournament. Don’t you?” His eyes linger on me before he spins around. “I’ll be seeing you again, Claire…�
��

  “Yeah, in your dreams,” I fire back.

  Tobias stands still, his fingers still wrapped around my small hand, until Pike exits the gas station. “Claire…” he says as he turns around to look at me. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I say, my voice shaking.

  He cups my face. “Did he hurt you?”

  “No.”

  Tobias takes a deep breath and shakes his head at me. “In your dreams?” he repeats with a furrowed brow.

  “It’s all I could think of,” I shrug.

  “Next time, just be quiet.”

  I smile. “Okay.”

  He smiles back at me. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yes,” I answer. I look down his body. “Are you?”

  He nods. “Let’s get out of here.” He grabs my hand again and pulls me outside along with him. His eyes shift around the parking lot, but Pike has disappeared completely.

  “Tobias…” He ignores me and grabs the helmet off the bike to hand over to me. “Tobias,” I say his name again as he sits down.

  “We need to get moving.”

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” I ask. “The people Mary got mixed up with… Pike was one of them.”

  He flexes his jaw and nods. “She was head over heels for him. But he just wanted one thing from her. I know he was there that night with her, but I could never prove it…”

  “Tobias,” I lay a hand on his shoulder, “you’re not a monster.”

  His eyes falls to the ground. “Maybe not today,” he says.

  “Not ever,” I argue. He pauses and looks up at me as I cup his face with both hands. I lean in, ignoring every instinct telling me not to, and lay a soft kiss on his lips.

  “Claire,” he whispers, our lips grazing. He grips my wrists to pull my hands away from his face. “I want to take comfort in you, but I can’t.” His eyes pierce into mine. “Do you understand?”

  I lick my lips, unable to pull away. “Yes,” I breathe.

  He turns his head, disconnecting our embrace. “We need to get moving,” he says again.

  I lower the helmet back onto my head as the motorbike roars with life beneath us.

  Chapter 10

  Start Over

  “Shit.”

  I hear Tobias’ voice on the wind and glance up to see Charlie’s truck parked next to the house. He must have heard the sound of the motorbike coming up the driveway. He’s there, standing on the porch with his arms crossed over his body, waiting for us as Tobias’ pulls up next to the barn.

  “Uh-oh,” I mutter. I pull the helmet off my head and lay it down on the bike’s seat.

  “Just let me do the talking,” Tobias says.

  We step away from the barn together and walk across the driveway towards the house.

  “An afternoon joyride isn’t exactly what I meant when I told you to stay put, Claire,” Charlie says to me.

  “It wasn’t a joyride,” Tobias replies.

  “Then where’d you go?”

  “I took her to see Mary.”

  Charlie pauses. “And why did you do that?”

  “Seemed like a better idea than leaving her here by herself.”

  “And I told you to stay away from her.” Tobias says nothing back and Charlie’s eyes fall on me. “Get inside, Claire. Go to your room and stay there.”

  I move quickly up the porch and walk inside, glancing over my shoulder at Tobias while I go.

  “What happened to your neck?” Charlie asks him as I step inside. I linger near the stairs, managing to stay within earshot and out of sight.

  “Factory equipment malfunction,” Tobias explains. “I didn’t dodge in time. It’s fine.”

  The answer seems to be satisfying enough for Charlie, as he asks nothing more about his bruising. I hear his boots on the porch and quickly bolt up the stairs to hide in my doorway.

  “I know it’s difficult, being under the same roof and all,” Charlie begins, his voice carrying from the kitchen, “but I asked you to leave Claire alone for a reason.”

  “I know.”

  “It’s my job to protect her, Tobias. I can’t do that if I don’t know where she is at all times.”

  “She never left my sight the entire time. But she had questions — reasonable ones.”

  “And you thought you’d just spill the family beans without clearing it with me first?”

  “I thought she had a right to know whose bed she sleeps in, yes.”

  Charlie sighs and slides a chair out to sit down at the table. I step closer to the stairs as their voices get lower. “Well, how did that go?” he asks.

  “About how you’d expect,” Tobias says. “I think it hit pretty close to home for her.”

  “And what about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “You know what.”

  “It’s not—” Tobias pauses. “I wasn’t there for Mary, but I can be there for her.”

  “Tobias… it doesn’t work like that. You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened to her.”

  “I think there’s plenty of blame to go around for everybody involved, don’t you?”

  “Even so, Claire ain’t Mary.”

  “I know,” Tobias says. “But she’s close enough.”

  He enters the living room with quick feet and I fall back to my room, watching him as he steps outside onto the front porch and across the driveway. I sit down on the bed and look out the window. Tobias slides the barn door open and disappears inside without looking back.

  Charlie’s boots sound up the stairs. I sit back and wait, dreading the inevitable and horrible moments to come.

  He leans against the doorway and chews on his lip. “I suppose you heard most of that,” he says.

  I shrug.

  “You came into a very complicated household here, Claire,” he says. “The good Lord hasn’t been particularly kind to us over the years.”

  “Is he ever?” I ask.

  His eyebrows bounce. “Sometimes.” He reaches behind his back and pulls Tobias’ music player from his pocket. “I found this under your pillow,” he says before tossing it onto the bed.

  I scoff. “You’re searching my bed now?”

  “It’s my bed, you just sleep in it.”

  “Because that’s not rude or anything…”

  “Where’d you get it?” he asks me.

  “It’s Tobias’,” I answer.

  “I know. How did you get it?”

  “He gave it to me. Just ask him.”

  He sighs. “I don’t need to.” His eyes, soft and warmer than I thought they’d be, stare down at me. “Claire, I was a cop for over twenty years.”

  “So?”

  “So, there’s not a whole lot I don’t notice,” he says. “I notice that when you barely sleep, you sneak out at night and hide out in my barn. I even notice when my truck has magically shifted a few inches away from where I last parked it.”

  I look to the floor, obviously confirming any suspicions he has of my activities.

  “And I notice…” he pauses, “that my son is smiling again for the first time in months.”

  “I’m sorry, Charlie,” I tell him. “You told me to stay away from him and I didn’t.”

  “As the man tasked with setting you straight, I’m a tad bit perturbed at that, but… as his father, I’m kind of happy you didn’t.” He brushes a hand through the air. “I don’t need to know the details of your relationship because it ain’t my business—”

  “There’s nothing to tell—”

  He holds up his hand to silence me. “But obviously, the two of you have gotten through to each other in ways I couldn’t and I guess that’s fine.” I take a deep breath, surprised by his reaction. “You trust him.”

  “I do.”

  “Good,” he says. “I’ve known quite a few girls in my time, ones a lot like you, Claire, and trust is really hard for them to come by after what they’ve been through.” I look up at him and swallow the rock in my throat b
ack down. “Do you want to talk about what you saw today?” he asks.

  I flash back to Mary’s cold, pale face. “Not really,” I say.

  He nods. “Did you learn anything?”

  “Drugs are bad,” I mutter.

  “Good girl.” He pushes off the doorway. “Every day, I wish that my daughter knew that, too.”

  “Well, if she was anything like me, she knew. She just didn’t care.” I look back at him and he gives a short, understanding smile. “Charlie—” He pauses in the door frame. “It wasn’t a banana peel.”

  “I know.” He says nothing else before walking back down the stairs.

  ***

  I step into the barn and make quick strides towards the punching bag in the corner. The setting sun casts an orange glow over everything, but the serene feeling it offers me is quickly struck down by everything awful I feel inside of me. Anger, fear, frustration. You name it, and I’m feeling it right now. The world is a cruel and unfair place. The things I’ve been through — or rather, the things I’ve put myself through for no damn reason — don’t compare to what’s happened to Tobias or Charlie. I’m selfish and deeply stupid, but I don’t want to be.

  I roll my hands into fists and slam them into the punching bag over and over again.

  “Protect your face.”

  I spin around and look up to see Tobias sitting in the loft, laying against the hay bales near the window. The light of the world casts shadows across his beautiful face, but even that’s not enough to distract me right now. “What are you doing up there?” I ask with annoyance.

  He shrugs. “I come up here to think sometimes. This was Mary’s favorite place when we were kids.”

  I sigh and turn back to the bag. “I suppose that’s yet another thing I’ve done since I got here that’s reminded you of your sister.” I punch the bag. Hard. “Isn’t that just great?”

  “Claire—”

  “Not really looking for pointers, Tobias.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” he asks calmly.

  “There’s nothing wrong with me,” I fume. Each punch feels more painful against my soft knuckles, but I keep going. “I just feel like hitting something right now.”

  “Why?”