Unveiling Hope

by Jeannine Allison

  “Different mommies have different rules,” his mother said.

  “But it’s the only way to get all the chocolate!” the boy screamed.

  The woman looked embarrassed as she pulled her son inside, the elevator whining in protest of still being open.

  “Kid’s right,” Derek said as it was shutting. “Some things taste too good to waste.”

  Today had been perfect. In fact, most of my days had been close to perfect lately. Which was why I told myself to shrug off the weird feeling I had.

  After Derek had thoroughly embarrassed me every chance he got at the mall, we came home. Essie was going to crash in my room since it was always empty anyhow. It didn’t take her long to get antsy.

  Essie was thrilled when Derek casually mentioned Swerved, the club where Damien was a bodyguard. She said we had to make it a girls-only night. I was a little surprised when Derek said he’d find something else to do, but I didn’t question it.

  “I’m glad you came out,” I said as we found a table. “It’s only been a few months but I’ve missed you too. How’s school?”

  “It’s all right. I’m excited to be finishing, to be able to do what I love full-time.” She took a sip of her drink. “Have you figured out what you want yet?”

  I shook my head and shrugged. “Not really. But I like the coffee shop that I’m working at a lot. I figured after this competition I’d start to think about it a little more. I don’t want to make a decision because I’m being pressured to.”

  “Hey.” Essie held up her hands. “No pressure here. I just want to make sure I’m kept up to date.”

  “You will be. Undoubtedly.” I reached over and squeezed her hand. I knew Essie had abandonment issues. And when I failed to tell her about my John and Derek dilemma over the last few months, I’d hurt her.

  It was easy to let friendships fall to the wayside. People got busy and life got in the way. But I didn’t want that happening to Essie and me.

  “C’mon, loser. Let’s dance.” We downed our drinks before moving to the dance floor.

  Twenty minutes later, my drink had caught up with me. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I shouted over the music. Essie nodded and grabbed a stranger next to her. The guy’s eyes lit up like he’d won the lotto.

  The line wasn’t too bad so I was in and out in less than ten minutes. I didn’t immediately seek Essie out. Instead I grabbed a water and took a seat, trying to catch my breath and cool off. I also took the time to check my phone and found a text from Derek. It was only sent twelve minutes ago.

  Derek: You still at Swerved?

  Me: Yeah. Why?

  Derek: I’m on my way.

  Me: Is everything okay??

  Derek: I’ll be there in 10.

  My pulse spiked at his non-answer. After five minutes of fidgeting, I texted Essie and told her I was going outside to wait for Derek.

  Nodding at the bodyguard just inside the club, I stepped outside. I made sure to stay close to the door and under the light as I waited. There were some people across the street but this side was pretty empty on a Sunday, just me and an elderly woman waiting at the bus stop a couple yards away.

  My phone vibrated. Head lowered, I read the text.

  Essie: You idiot. Like I’m letting you wait outside by yourself.

  I looked up when I heard heavy footsteps grow suddenly close. By the time I saw the man he was already slamming into me, propelling me into the darkness. For a stunned second I thought it could be an accident, until a clothed hand covered my mouth and an arm banded around my waist, pulling me toward an alley.

  My eyes frantically darted around, but the street seemed deserted now. It wasn’t. The woman still waited. The kids across the street were still laughing in front of the arcade, and the couple strolling hand-in-hand were almost out of sight. People were all around, but the strength of the man behind me had me feeling utterly alone. I saw another man walking toward us and I almost wept in relief, until I saw the horrible look in his eyes. My stomach sank.

  The door to the club opened and Essie slipped out. “Sam?” she called, just as the heavy door slammed behind her. She looked my way first, her eyes trying to focus on me in the dark. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes widened when she did. I couldn’t even be relieved because since she’d looked my way first, she wasn’t aware of the danger behind her. Essie had just opened her mouth when the other man grabbed her in a similar fashion: hand over her mouth and arm around her waist. He quickly moved her out of the light and joined us.

  I continued scanning our surroundings, looking for someone, but everyone was lost in their own worlds.

  “Which bitch is it?” Essie’s guy asked.

  “This one.” He shook me and I could feel his grin.

  “So what should I do with her?”

  “Have fun.”

  Essie looked terrified as the man holding her dragged her farther down the alley.

  Oh God…

  I struggled against the arm around me. He slammed me against the wall and my head bounced off it, immediately throbbing. The man said something I couldn’t make out.

  “W-w-what?” I coughed, clawing at the hands around my throat. “Stop—” I started again before a punch to my stomach had me doubling over, stealing my words and breath.

  “We need to give your boyfriend a message.”

  “W-what’s the m-message?” I asked, my voice shaking. His hand roughly grabbed me between my legs and I cried out.

  Then he grinned, his whiskey-tainted breath ghosting over my skin, and said, “You are.”

  I LIED TO HER. I hated doing it. But I didn’t want to see the look of disappointment on her face. So when Essie suggested that just the two of them go to the club, I saw my chance to take the coward’s way out. I’d been avoiding telling Sam about this final fight. Still, I had planned to tell her before I left tonight. With Essie’s surprise visit, it didn’t seem necessary. Why hurt her if I could avoid it?

  “You should’ve told her the truth,” Nevada said like he could read my mind.

  “What would’ve been the point in upsetting her when this was the last time?” I asked, staring out the window as he drove away from the abandoned building.

  “Because you don’t know what Tommy is thinking.”

  Tommy took over running things a few months back.

  “What can he do? This isn’t some elaborate underground ring. It’s casual.”

  He looked at me like I was stupid. I wasn’t, just hopeful. Because I knew exactly what he meant—things had started getting shady. And I didn’t trust Tommy.

  I owed him this fight, but now I was done. When I’d tried to back out of it, he was pissed. I didn’t want to part on bad terms. So I’d agreed to come back for this last fight.

  I frowned when I saw we weren’t heading for my apartment. “Where are we going?”

  “To Sam.”

  I turned to Nevada. “No. She trusted me and—”

  “That’s your excuse? You think lying to her so you can keep her trust is the way to go? Do you even know how stupid that sounds?”

  “I know—”

  “No, you clearly don’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to self-sabotage your relationship this way.”

  I didn’t say anymore. Whether it was because I was pissed or I just thought it futile, I wasn’t sure. But it was clear that regardless, we were going to Swerved so I could talk to Sam.

  Nevada parked and slammed his door shut. I walked behind him with my hands in my pockets as I tried to think of what I was going to say.

  Once inside, I immediately spotted Damien and moved toward him. “Hey, have you seen Sam? She came with her friend Essie.”

  “Yeah. They walked outside about five minutes ago.”

  Frowning, I looked at the door before facing Damien again. “We didn’t see them outside.”

  I didn’t speculate further, I just walked back, hearing Nevada and my sister’s boyfriend on my heels. I shoved the door open, the winte
r air biting into my skin.

  “Sam?” I called out, looking up and down the street.

  I heard Damien talking to two other guys. I looked back with a frown. They were dressed like Damien. “Just in case,” he said.

  I nodded, but the queasy feeling in my stomach grew. Nevada looked just as alarmed.

  “We should split up,” Damien began. “Derek—”

  But I was already walking away. They could decide between them who else would go where. My eyes kept scanning the streets.

  I’d just passed an alley a couple buildings away when I heard a low moan. My blood turned to ice as my head slowly swiveled toward the sound.

  “Sam?” My voice came out hoarse and confused. “SAM!” I shouted when I realized that what I was seeing was real, not some horrifying figment of my imagination.

  I ran toward her, hearing the others follow, and immediately ripped the guy off of her. One of the bodyguards grabbed the guy from me as Damien, Nevada, and the other bouncer ran past. I barely had time to make out Essie at the end of the alley with some guy pawing at her before I turned to Sam, dropping to my knees. The blunt contact with the ground was no match for the pain splicing through my chest.

  “Sam!” I yelled again as I lifted her onto my lap, pushing the hair back from her bloodied face. My expression crumpled, tears of anger, pain, and frustration coming to the surface.

  She was unconscious. Her lip was swollen, as was one of her eyes, and there were scratches on her arms from contact with the wall. When I felt the bump on the back of her head it took everything in me to stay with her and not go beat the shit out of the guy responsible.

  I looked up and saw Nevada tending to Essie, who was limp in his arms. The other two bodyguards—thank God Damien thought to grab them—were holding the assholes responsible, and Damien was on the phone with 911.

  “Please, please, please,” I whispered as I looked back down.

  It felt like years passed before the ambulance arrived. I crawled into the back with her, holding her hand whenever I was allowed. The paramedics were calling out terms and I had no idea what anything meant.

  “Is she okay?” I asked softly. But they didn’t hear me and kept working. “She has to be okay.”

  If I thought the ambulance was bad, the hospital was even worse. I watched them put Sam on a gurney and wheel her behind some doors. When I tried to follow, a hand stopped me.

  “I have to stay with her…” I looked around the nurse, my eyes following Sam through the windows until they turned a corner. My breathing grew choppy. “I can’t see her anymore. I need to—”

  “Sir. I’m sorry, but you can’t go back there. Someone will update you as soon as we know more.” Then she walked away.

  A hand wrapped around my bicep. I moved to throw it off when I saw it was Nevada. He led me to a chair where I dropped down. My fists were resting on my knees and my head was hanging.

  “Why? I don’t understand…”

  “Derek—”

  My head snapped up. That one word spoke volumes. “You know something.”

  Nevada shook his head, but I fisted his shirt and jerked him closer. “Tell. Me.”

  “They were Tommy’s guys, delivering a message.”

  The blood drained from my face. “What…? But I… I quit. There was nothing… I owed no money. I still gave him that last fight—”

  “I guess trying to get out of it was enough.” I was surprised to see how grief-stricken Nevada looked. “I’m sorry, Derek. I didn’t get much. They’re never going to turn on him. They’ll take the fall, saying it was random.”

  “How do you know then?”

  “I recognized one of them. Called Tommy myself. He was vague. But I think…” He cringed. “I think Sam was collateral damage. He doesn’t expect you to come back. But he wanted to show everyone that this is how the ring will be run now. That there are consequences.”

  I let go of his shirt and stood up. Staring out the window, my thoughts raced. But one thing remained clear.

  Now I really wanted to beat the guy responsible. Because the asshole who was responsible was me.

  Nevada and I had to give statements.

  Not about my involvement, because Nevada was right. Sam’s attackers didn’t turn on Tommy. We kept quiet too. It wouldn’t do any good. No charges would stick. Mentioning Tommy’s name would only open up a floodgate of other questions.

  Besides, telling them about Tommy would mean that when he showed up beaten and bloodied, I’d be the prime suspect—rightfully so.

  But first I needed to check on Sam. She’d been in surgery so I still hadn’t seen her. I walked in and saw Alara sitting in the waiting room. Her watery eyes lifted to mine. She quickly stood and raced over to me.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

  No.

  I roughly pulled her back. “What? Is she…?”

  “Oh. No, no, no.” Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry. I thought you already knew. She made it out of surgery and is in the recovery wing. Gabe’s with her now. The others are down in the cafeteria getting coffee.”

  “How is she—?”

  I was cut off by a fist to my jaw. Falling back on my ass, I stared up at Gabe. His jaw was clenched, nostrils flaring, as he looked me over with disgust.

  “Gabe!” Alara shouted as her eyes flew between us.

  Even though it was a softer hit than any I’d gotten in the ring, it hurt more than all of them combined. Because it wasn’t just physical. When we were fighting each other in those underground, dodgy warehouses, we weren’t fighting our opponents. We were fighting ourselves. Our own demons, our own pasts.

  This was Gabe hitting me. Gabe blaming me.

  And he had every right to.

  “It was his fault,” Gabe growled.

  “Gabe…” I planted a hand down behind me, readying to stand up, when he continued.

  “No. There’s nothing you can say, Derek.” He turned to walk away and I scurried to my feet.

  “We said we wouldn’t do this.” My words stopped him. “We wouldn’t be the cliché best friends torn apart by your sister. You said—”

  “That I trusted you!” Gabe shouted as he turned around. “So yeah, I remember, Derek. But now Sam’s in the hospital. Beaten. Bloodied. Broken. Because of you.”

  His words were worse than that punch to the gut.

  “I trusted you, and now I don’t,” he finished quietly before leaving. Alara looked torn, confused, but eventually she hurried after her husband.

  I hung my head, my hands tearing through my hair, as my eyes welled with tears.

  Everything was slipping through my fingers. Not just Sam. But Gabe, too. Would Alara go with him? It seemed she already was, and she didn’t even have all the facts yet. And what about Naomi? Would she be so disgusted with me that she’d leave, too?

  The sad part was, I wouldn’t even blame them. I hated myself right now too.

  “Derek!” I heard my sister yell. I turned around and everyone had come back from the cafeteria. Naomi only wore a look of concern, and I knew it was because she didn’t know everything. I couldn’t be here when Gabe told them all. Her shouts grew frantic when I walked away, but I didn’t turn back.

  “Don’t do this,” Damien said as he caught up to me.

  “Do what?” I asked as I shoved through the doors.

  “You know what. I’m not stupid. I heard you and Nevada talking so I know what’s going on, and I know exactly what you’re thinking.” He jogged in front of me, standing between me and my car.

  “Get out of my way.”

  “Nope.”

  Without warning I reared back and punched him in the face. Maybe I had given something away because he didn’t look surprised.

  “Feel better?” he asked dryly.

  “No.”

  I felt sick. Absolutely wretched.

  “This won’t change anything,” Damien said, pain clear in his voice. “I know how you feel—”
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  I pulled back to glare at him. “Really? You’ve wandered down an alley and found your girlfriend being assaulted? You’ve searched her battered body, trying to figure out where all the blood was coming from?” My voice broke at the end, tears filling my eyes.

  “You’ve held the love of your life in your arms, broken and beaten, not knowing if she’d survive, only to find out it’s your fucking fault?”

  I couldn’t stop the tears.

  “No.” Damien looked close to tears too. “But I’ve held my sister in my arms, beaten down and near death, wondering if she’d survive. It wasn’t my fault, but I can promise you, you’ll feel guilty no matter what. That’s what happens when someone we love is hurt.”

  He pointed to my chest. “Rage may keep you warm, but just like a fire snuffs out life and consumes everything in its path, so will your anger. Trust me. I’d thought that getting back at the people responsible would help. But it didn’t. Nothing did. Because in the end Ellie was still in pain. And seeing you in pain—or in jail—will only hurt Sam more. Is that what you want?”

  The throbbing in my hand intensified, while my muscles—tense from all the restraint—were aching. And my heart—oh God, my heart—it was fucking shattered. Nothing had ever hurt like this before.

  “Of course not. But I don’t…” I cleared my throat when my voice broke. “I don’t know how to feel anything else. This fury is the only thing holding me together right now.”

  “Who says you need to stay whole? Break if that’s what you need, Derek. It’s better to do it on your terms.”

  I shook my head. Why the fuck were we talking about me?

  “How is she? I know she’s recovering, but Alara didn’t tell me her injuries.”

  “I don’t think you need to know particulars…”

  “How about this… every time you go to say something or ask some stupid fucking question, first ask yourself how you’d respond if you were in my position and we were talking about my sister.”