While she took photos of everyone, she couldn’t help coming back repeatedly to Connor. He played his guitar and sang with his eyes closed, an expression of contentment on his face that she had rarely seen during the time she’d known him.
As the others got tired, they wandered away, eventually leaving just her and Connor, although she wasn’t even sure he knew she was still there. She had stopped taking photos a while ago, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave and go to bed. It soothed her to hear him sing, and after all the emotional turmoil she’d gone through recently, she didn’t want that feeling to end.
Lexie suddenly realized Connor had started singing a new song, one she didn’t recognize. From the soft, melodic lilt of the words, it sounded like it could be Irish. The melody was so poignant and spoke so much to her own long-held pain that tears flooded her eyes. Safe in the shadows, she let the tears leak out and drip down her cheeks.
As Connor continued playing, one song seemed to flow into the next. She let herself feel all the pain and heartbreak of losing Damien, her childhood sweetheart, her first love. All the pain of their future together ripped away from them. The pain that had sometimes felt unbearable was finally let loose, and she allowed it to flow from her. The heaviness that had been weighing her down for three years finally starting to ease.
When the last guitar notes faded, Lexie looked up to see Connor watching her. He stood and walked over; guitar held loosely in his hand.
Placing the instrument gently on the ground, he reached for her, pulling her up to stand and wrapping his arms around her. His scent, made up of sunshine, salt, and warm male skin, enveloped her as she rested her cheek against his bare chest.
She knew he could feel the wetness from her tears, but she didn’t care. He knew what she was feeling; he had his own experience with grief. Maybe that’s why he’d chosen the songs he had—something to help ease her pain.
Or his.
Regardless, Lexie didn’t have words enough to thank him, so she didn’t even try. Instead, she hugged him hard, and they stood there silently in the dark together. When she finally pulled back, he still said nothing, just reached down for his guitar, clasped her hand with his, and walked her back up to the house.
Outside her bedroom door, he kissed her softly on the cheek, murmured good night, then waited while she slipped into her room. Her heart felt bruised, but also as if it might finally be starting to heal. As she lay in bed trying to get to sleep, part of her—an ever-growing part it seemed—wished he’d done much more than kiss her on the cheek.
The next morning there were a few grumbles from the men about having to leave the beach, but after a quick swim, they all packed up and drove back to the hotel in time for soundcheck. Even though Lexie and Connor hadn’t talked much since their moment the night before, she felt like the tension between them had lessened. While the lust that flooded through her whenever she was near him hadn’t disappeared, maybe with time they could find their way back to how things had been before. If only she could stop dreaming about him, it might be easier.
* * *
Three days later, the relaxation of the beach had been replaced by the bright lights and bustle of New York City. The band’s PR team had scheduled a live appearance on a late-night talk show, and the guys were currently running the gauntlet outside the studio.
Lexie raised her camera to take more shots of the four men greeting the crowd, signing autographs, and taking selfies with ecstatic fans. It was chaotic. She’d never experienced anything like it and wondered how anyone ever got used to that level of attention. Screams of excitement rung in her ears as she hung back far enough to get the whole band and the mass of fans in one shot.
A loud crash came from behind Lexie and she turned to see that one of the metal barricades holding the crowd back had given way. The fans rushed forward, and two of the band’s security detail turned back to try to fend them off.
Lexie edged away from the mass of excited people and closer to the two security officers. Just as she thought she’d got clear, a hand darted out of the crowd and latched onto the strap of her camera, attempting to yank it out of her hands. Lexie clung on but was jerked almost off her feet and into the surging crowd.
Whoever had grabbed her camera strap let go, sending her stumbling to the ground where she landed heavily on her bare knees. She let out a cry of pain as the hard ground cut into her skin. Fear set in as she realized the crazed crowd of fans had closed around her completely. She tried to protect her camera by hunching over it, and visions of getting trampled to death flashed through her mind.
The crowd seemed to fall back before the screams of excitement ratcheted up to even higher levels. Powerful arms encircled her waist, sweeping her up from the ground and holding her tightly against a firm chest. Lexie knew who it was without looking up; she would recognize the feel of Connor’s arms anywhere.
Lexie didn’t consider herself to be weak, but she was shaking like a leaf from the shock and adrenaline of the incident. She wrapped one arm around Connor’s neck and pressed her face against his chest, taking in a deep breath to calm herself.
“It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you,” he said. He pushed his way through the screaming horde, his security detail holding everyone back until they got to the safety of the studio door. He didn’t put her down once they were inside, and she could feel his heart beating almost as rapidly as hers. Finally, they made it to the dressing room. Connor pushed his way through the door and sat down on one of the couches, still holding Lexie against him.
Embarrassed at having to be rescued, Lexie pushed herself upright and attempted to extricate herself from his arms.
Instead of letting her go, Connor held on even more tightly. “Fuck, Lexie, I saw it go down, but I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I’m so sorry I let that happen. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” His voice was rough, and his eyes scanned her face, looking for signs of injury.
“I’m all right, Connor, just a little shaken up.” Then feeling her grazed legs start to sting, she added, “I may need to clean my knees up though.”
Connor finally eased his tight hold on her enough that she could sit up and extend her legs to assess the damage. She’d torn the skin on both her knees, and dribbles of blood had streaked down her shins.
“Well, that will teach me to dress more appropriately next time I go out into the field with you guys,” she joked ruefully. She smiled shakily up at Connor, but he was staring at her knees, his jaw clenched.
“This was my fault, Lexie. I should have had one of the security guys sticking next to you. I thought the insanity would be focused on us, but I guess someone figured they could steal your camera and help themselves to some free photos.” He finally looked back up at her eyes and gave her a strained smile. “I should’ve taken better care of you.”
They stared at each other, and heat abruptly flared up in her as she realized she was still sitting on his lap. It seemed like he’d noticed it at the same time because she could feel him hardening beneath her. She should move, climb off his lap and put some distance between them, but he was still looking into her eyes, and she couldn’t bring herself to leave.
Lexie kept still as he cupped her cheek, not wanting to break the tension that had risen between them. Connor’s eyes dropped to her mouth, and when her lips parted slightly in response to his gaze, he skimmed his hand down her face until his fingers rested under her chin, then tilted her head back.
He took his time lowering his mouth to hers, making sure she could protest or move away if she wanted. But she didn’t; she couldn’t. Her entire body was thrumming wildly in response to his closeness. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted more at that moment than to feel his lips on hers.
The door to the dressing room flung open, and Drew came charging in with a first aid kit swinging from his hand. “I saw blood, thought you’d need this.”
Lexie jumped in shock, pulling herself out of Connor’s arms and sliding onto the couch beside him. Her
face burning in embarrassment, she stared down at her knees. “Uh, thanks, Drew. It’s not that bad, but I probably need to clean up a bit.”
Suddenly, the shock of it all, followed by the sudden surge of emotion, left her drained. She couldn’t look Connor or Drew in the eye, even though she could sense Connor staring at her intently.
What had she been thinking? She’d already decided that she needed to get back to having a professional relationship with Connor. As much as her body urged her toward him, her head and her heart told her it was a terrible idea. Getting caught up in Connor, and almost certainly having her heart broken, might end up breaking her forever. She needed to stop letting herself get distracted by him and focus on the job she was here to do.
Lexie jumped up from the couch and took the first aid kit from Drew. “Thanks, I’ll get cleaned up,” she said as she walked with her head down to the bathroom, flipped the light on, and closed the door behind her.
Chapter 28
After the incident with Lexie the night before, Connor had come to a decision. He still wanted her. Badly. And he was sick of fighting it. The thought of walking away at the end of the tour having only had her once seemed like a travesty.
There were still five weeks left—plenty of time for them to work through whatever there was between them before they parted ways. Now he just needed to get Lexie on the same page. From her reaction the night before she still wanted him, but whether she’d be interested in a short-term fling he wasn’t sure. He knew it might take some convincing, but now that she’d had sex for the first time after Damien, it wouldn’t do her any favors to revert to celibacy now. He could help her get over her guilt so that when they parted ways, she’d be in a good place to move on. That way they’d both get what they wanted.
During that night’s concert, he spent far too much time tracking her with his eyes as she moved around the edge of the stage and through the crowd.
The tension he felt at the thought of touching her again seemed to give extra energy to his performance. The excitement from the crowd ramped up the adrenaline coursing through him, and when they left the stage after the final encore, he was almost shaking with the need to release it.
“Fucking brilliant show, guys!” Drew pounded his back, then high-fived the others. “I don’t know what happened out there tonight, but it was fucking awesome. The crowd is still going nuts.”
Connor shook his head. The last thing he wanted Drew to know was that the extra edge to his performance that night was because of a woman. “Anyone seen Lexie?” he asked as casually as he could, hoping no one could hear the strain in his voice.
Tex answered him. “Saw her chatting with some of the sound techs.” He gave Connor a too-knowing smirk. “Don’t worry, your girl will be back at your side soon.”
Connor stiffened, his jaw clenching. What the hell was Tex playing at, insinuating something was going on between him and Lexie? His aggravation worsened when Drew turned toward him with raised eyebrows.
A potent mix of anger at Tex’s comment and post-performance adrenaline burned through Connor. While a part of him knew his friend was just trying to get a rise out of him, his own unease at his continuing fascination with Lexie only fanned the flames, so that he retorted without thinking, voice cold, “She’s not my fucking girl, she’s the photographer, and she should be here doing her fucking job not flirting with the crew.” He gave Tex a hard stare as he said it.
Tex’s smirk fell from his face as his gaze was drawn to something over Connor’s shoulder.
Connor stilled; his friend’s expression telling him how badly he’d just screwed up. Tex held out his hand and drew Lexie to him, putting his arm around her waist protectively and dropping a kiss on the top of her head.
Connor had to take a deep breath and close his eyes before he could look at her. When he did, she had her face tipped up toward Tex, who was murmuring something in her ear while glaring in Connor’s direction. For a second Lexie’s eyes slid toward him, but then she averted her gaze, nodding at whatever Tex was saying.
Shit. Why the hell had he reacted so defensively to Tex’s comment? He should have just laughed it off. Now he’d hurt Lexie and made it sound like he didn’t think she was doing her job. He looked around at the others. Zac and Noah were looking at him with furrowed brows, while Drew had his eyes on Lexie, a frown on his face.
How was he going to fix this? There was no way he could explain himself in front of everyone. The only thing he could do was to get her alone later and apologize. Rubbing the back of his neck he mumbled, “I’m going to hit the shower.”
He ignored the glare Tex was giving him. After all, if Tex hadn’t opened his fucking mouth and tried to provoke him in front of everyone, just for his own entertainment, then this wouldn’t have happened. He snuck a glance at Lexie before he left, but she was looking down and fiddling with her camera. Even as he turned and walked off, he knew he wasn’t handling it the right way, but he didn’t know what else to do.
* * *
The after-show party was in full swing when Connor finally arrived. He’d taken his time because he was still at a loss as to what he should say to Lexie. Well, he’d just have to be honest and lay it out for her, explain why he’d said what he had. She’d understand. He was sure she didn’t want all the guys knowing about their private business any more than he did. Determined to get it sorted as soon as possible, he moved through the room looking for her.
He tried not to be abrupt with the fans that kept grabbing him as he maneuvered through the crowd, but when the third woman stopped him and lifted her shirt so he could sign her tits, he grew frustrated. What the hell was it with women wanting their bodies to be signed? It would just end up washing away, so what was the point?
As he started scrawling his signature with the pen she handed him, he could feel eyes on him. He knew who it would be; after all, his recent luck as far as Lexie was concerned had been terrible.
Glancing around, he found her standing in the corner of the room, watching him with an unreadable expression on her face. She was holding her camera in her hands, and as he met her eyes, she raised it and took a photo of him, the woman standing in front of him still with her tits on display. Then Lexie turned and walked away.
So, she was definitely pissed, then. He capped the pen and handed it distractedly back to the woman he’d just signed, blowing her off as she started gushing about how much she loved the band.
Pushing his way through the crowd and trying his best to dodge the fans with that look in their eyes, he tried to catch up with Lexie. When he did, she was taking a photo of a half-naked woman practically climbing Zac while he casually drank a beer and chatted with Drew.
Connor leaned in close to Lexie’s ear. “What are you doing?”
She must have known he was there because she didn’t react to his presence. Pivoting with her camera still held up to her face, she snapped a photo of Noah sitting on one of the couches with a small giggly blonde on his lap. Seeing the lens pointed at him didn’t bother Noah one bit. He raised his beer and grinned at the camera.
“Lexie,” Connor spoke louder and grabbed her wrist. “Stop and talk to me. What are you doing?”
Sighing, she dropped the camera and turned to face him. He took a half step back at the expression on her face. She didn’t look angry or hurt like he was expecting, but her normally clear eyes were dull, and she looked tired.
Worse, she looked resigned.
“Lexie?” he tried again, and this time she answered him.
“You were right, Connor. I’m the band’s photographer, and I haven’t been doing my job.”
“That’s ridiculous. If this is about what I said, you have to know I didn’t mean it. I’m a fucking idiot. You’ve been doing a fantastic job. I love the photos you’ve taken. They’re exactly what I wanted.”
She shook her head to stop him. “Do you remember that first day; the setup for your first concert? You said you were glad that I wasn’t a fan because that
way I’d see you as you really are? And I tried to make a joke about the fact you didn’t think I could behave professionally if I was a fan.”
He nodded slowly, not sure where she was going with this.
“Well, you were right. I haven’t been acting professionally. I let my attraction to you cloud my judgment.” Her cheeks flared with color.
“Lexie—” He tried to interrupt, but she hadn’t finished.
She stepped closer so no one could hear her. “Sleeping with you was unprofessional.”
He shook his head in denial, but she surprised him.
“I said I didn’t regret it, and I don’t; I knew what I was doing. That’s not the thing I regret. You asked me at the start of all this not to photograph what I expected to see, so instead, I ended up shooting only what I wanted to see. And that is the most unprofessional thing I’ve done on this job.”
There was a mix of anger and disappointment in her eyes, but she wasn’t directing it at him, she was directing it at herself, which was somehow worse. He had to say something to stop this, but he had no clue what, which was ridiculous considering he wrote lyrics for a living.
Instead, he grabbed her hand. “Come with me.”
When Lexie balked, he tugged her hand more insistently, and she gave in and let him pull her along behind him. He led her out of the crowded room and pulled her into the adjacent dressing room, locking the door behind them.
Letting go of her, he ran a hand through his hair. He still wasn’t sure what to say to make this right, but he had to say something.
Reaching for her camera, he took it from her and placed it carefully on a nearby table before turning back.
“Lexie. Christ. Putting aside for the moment the fact that I’m a fucking asshole for saying what I did, I love what you’ve done with the photos. You’ve caught aspects of this crazy lifestyle that others never see, and that’s exactly what I wanted. Yes, some parts are less than savory—that’s out of my hands. I can’t control what fans ask for, and I can’t control what the other guys do. But what you’ve seen through your lens so far is what I want to see too.”
Fractured Hearts: A Fractured Rock Star Romance Page 16
