Between the Lines

by KD Williamson

  “Mm.”

  “No, it doesn’t. All I know is, you’re one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen.”

  “And you’ve seen a lot of them?” Tonya sounded amused.

  “If you wanna call it that. Wait, you’re not takin’ what I said seriously, are you?”

  “Not at all.” Tonya laughed.

  “Well, why is that?” Haley really wanted to know.

  “Because.”

  “C’mon. You gotta do better than that. Because why?”

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  Haley couldn’t believe that no one had ever told her she was beautiful, so that couldn’t be it. Maybe, then, she didn’t always believe it. “You are.” Haley put as much softness and sincerity behind the words as she could.

  “Haley…” Tonya gasped sharply.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome.” Haley’s stomach growled. “I’m gonna take you in the kitchen with me. Hold on.” She put the phone on the bed and pulled on underwear and a T-shirt.

  “What are you cooking?”

  “Robért’s has a pretty good mac and cheese. I’m gonna throw in some sundried tomatoes, milk, and butter. Don’t have energy for anythin’ else. I have to have the time and be in the mood to really cook. I meant to ask you before. Do you cook?”

  Tonya laughed. “A mean Zatarain’s out of the box. My dad is the cook in the family. As a matter of fact, I was about to raid the refrigerator as we speak.”

  Chapter 14

  Tonya’s phone rang, interrupting the music. She expected the caller ID to splash Haley’s name across the display. It was an interesting twist to see her sister’s instead.

  “You’re up early.”

  “Not really. It’s my usual putter-around time before getting the day started. I figured now would be the best time to call so I won’t interrupt your workday. Just trying to be courteous.”

  “Well, I guess a thank you is in order, then?”

  “If you say so,” Tracy answered.

  They both went quiet. It had been like this since they’d ripped the Band-Aid off that old wound they’d been nursing. Tonya didn’t expect it to be easy, but she couldn’t recall them ever going through this level of awkwardness.

  “Is everything okay?” Tonya didn’t let the silence drag on for long.

  “I found out yesterday that, with the teaching job they offered, I’d only be allowed to teach low-level classes. Something about policy, until I get more experience and possibly a doctorate.”

  Tonya had no intention of stumbling over this conversation this time. “If that’s what you want to do, then you’ll have to get a doctorate.”

  “I don’t know if I have it in me to do that right away. I need a break from school.”

  “The only stress you’d have would be academic. I’d take care of everything else if you make that cho—”

  “No.” Tracy was emphatic.

  “What do you mean no?”

  “I mean, if I go for a doctorate, I’m paying my own way. My grades are good this time around, and I could end up getting a fellowship. It’s not like undergrad. I wouldn’t lose it. Learned my lesson about partying too hard, even though it took me a minute.”

  “That’s not necessary, Tracy. I have the money.”

  “You don’t think part of our problem is that you take care of everything?”

  “It’s possible,” Tonya agreed. “But it’s a very small part compared to everything else. We’re family, Tracy. Aren’t we supposed to take care of each other?”

  “Yes, we are, but you do all the caring. I don’t think it’s right for me and Daddy to just live off your dime. I know it bothers him.”

  “Yes, he can be very passive-aggressive about it, as with everything else he doesn’t talk about.” Tonya rode the wave of anger that hit her, breathing through it instead of letting it overtake her.

  “He lost his store, Tonya. He loved that place, not to mention the house. That has to make him feel useless and probably embarrassed. He’s always been the provider. He—”

  “Did it to himself. He had a business. It wasn’t a free-for-all to extend credit and take IOU’s from everybody. The fact that they didn’t pay him back time and time again is what did him in. He was already in debt before Mama got sick, but that made the situation worse. I know he holds it against me that his oldest daughter has to take care of him.”

  Tracy sighed heavily.

  Did it bother Tonya that Tracy was still so firmly in their father’s corner? Yes, yes, it did. She was tired of fighting about him. She was tired of fighting with him. “How did we get on this subject anyway?”

  “I don’t even know, but I meant what I said. You know I went through the summer so I can graduate in December. The fall session is the last—”

  “You know that’s taken care of already, Tracy. I’m not sure—”

  “Maybe it’s time for me to grow up and do things on my own for once. If it doesn’t work, I’ll come limping back asking for help, so don’t worry.”

  “That’s an image.”

  “I bet it is.”

  “Look, let’s just table this discussion for now.”

  “Yeah, okay. I didn’t mean for us to dig all this up. I thought we were trying to patch up this, whatever, between us and we keep ending up in these heavy-ass conversations. I didn’t think things would be this awkward between us. It was easier when we were pretending.”

  That was actually very accurate. “Isn’t that why we were doing it? Because it was easy?”

  “More than likely.” Tracy paused. “Maybe we need to stick to the lighter subjects. Get to know each other as we are now and have that pave the way for everything else.”

  Tracy’s insightfulness made Tonya smile. “That’s a good plan. Are you sure you don’t want to come work with me in some capacity?”

  Tracy chuckled. “Positive.”

  “Too bad.”

  “Uh-huh, so what’s new in your world?”

  Just then, Tonya’s phone beeped. Her heartbeat increased when she saw Haley’s name. “Uh, hold on a second.” Why Tonya was trying to sound nonchalant, she wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t succeeding. To her own ears she sounded frazzled.

  “You have to go?”

  “No, just hold on.” Tonya clicked over.

  “Hey, mornin’.”

  Tonya heard the smile in Haley’s voice and visualized it on her face. It made her insides tingle. “Same to you.”

  “You okay? You sound out of breath.”

  “No, it’s the wind. Can I call you back? My sister is—”

  “That’s fine. Talk to you in a few.”

  “Okay, thank you.” Tonya didn’t know why she said it. The words just came out.

  “Nothin’ to thank me for. You sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes, later?”

  “Later.”

  Tonya switched the calls back over. “Sorry that took so long.”

  “Why do you sound out of breath?”

  “That’s the wind.” Tonya recycled the same white lie.

  Tracy laughed. “You don’t have a convertible, and no way are you driving on the Causeway with your windows down.”

  “Today could be the exception.”

  “Oh girl, please. Don’t stress. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine and totally understandable.”

  There was disappointment in her sister’s voice.

  “It was Haley,” she blurted out.

  “Haley? Is that somebody at work?”

  “No, she’s the cop who—”

  “Ohhhhh the one with the nice arms?”

  “Yes…her.” That was easier than Tonya thought it would be. She wasn’t sharing some deep, dark, painful secret, but something that brought her the opposite—joy.

  “Are you seeing her?” Tracy sounded hopeful.

  “I’m not sure what to call it right now.”

  “Christ, you two would be hot as hell
together.”

  “Tracy!”

  “What? It’s true. Look, I know this isn’t something we talk about, so I’m happy to be a part of the conversation. That means I get to make up for lost time, starting now. I saw the way she looked at you. Go for it. And if you’re not looking for something deep, you need to run to that one anyway. Have some fun. You’re not dead yet.”

  “I’m not sure what to say to all that.”

  “You don’t need to say anything else to me. Hang up and call her back.”

  “I need to concentrate on family right—”

  “Hold up. We’re all adults, and we’re allowed to do adult things. I know I do, no matter what’s going on. I just pace myself these days. So don’t even go there. I’m hanging up now. Stop using me as an excuse.”

  Before Tonya could say anything else, Tracy was gone. Needing to compose herself, she hesitated for a few minutes before returning Haley’s call.

  “Hey, that was pretty quick. I hope you didn’t cut things short on my account.”

  “No, she just kind of hung up.”

  “Huh. I know you haven’t come out and said it, but I’ve picked up that you don’t exactly get along with your sister and father.”

  “Not exactly, no,” Tonya admitted. It felt good to get that off her chest. She wasn’t trying to keep it a secret from Haley, but who wants to hear about family drama?

  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m on the outside lookin’ in. You’ll get no judgment from me. Besides, I wasn’t kiddin’ when I said I wanted to know about you.”

  “You sure?”

  “Tonya, yes, I wouldn’t bring it up if I wasn’t.”

  “My mother plays a huge part in this, but I’m just not ready to go there yet with you. My father pretty much takes up the rest. As a family, we’re kind of coming to terms with a lot that happened in the past.”

  “Like what?” Haley’s voice was soft, like she sensed that the whole situation was fragile. It was, but Tonya wasn’t. She’d conquered that hurdle long ago.

  “We don’t talk a lot in my family. I think my father thought if no one spoke about it…whatever it was didn’t exist. I’ve never been Daddy’s little girl. I was always in the middle, I guess, until my mother got sick. Then I wasn’t anywhere.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I was a kid with way too many responsibilities that even some adults couldn’t handle. I got away when I could, and there was this girl down the street. She made me feel good, and I can’t even tell you how much I needed that. He found out, and, then, I really knew what it was like to be invisible. My sister took center stage. I was there to play nursemaid. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s taken a long time, but things have finally come to a head. Tracy and I are trying to mend things between us, but my father—”

  “Refuses?” Haley asked.

  “Yes. To repair something, you have to admit there’s a problem in the first place.”

  “Jesus, I can’t even comprehend what that must have felt like, what that feels like even now for you. I’ve never been in the closet. My sexuality wasn’t always accepted, but I didn’t care.”

  “I lived my life. I just did it discreetly and didn’t advertise.”

  “Okay, I see your point, but I tell you what. The strength it takes to get through even most of that had to be for the record books. If you can survive crap like that, those guys at the gas station didn’t stand a chance in hell.”

  Haley’s words made Tonya smile. “When you put it that way…”

  “I’m just glad you didn’t have a lighter. That woulda been messy.”

  Tonya chuckled.

  “Hey?” Haley’s voice had that fragile quality to it again.

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you for sharin’ all that with me. I can tell you don’t open up easily. It means…it just means a lot.”

  “You’re easy to talk to.”

  “I try. It’s good that you and your sister are tryin’ to work things out, and it’s a damn shame your father is missin’ out on you. I’m greedy, though, so that’s more for me, I suppose.”

  A sudden burst of heat spread from Tonya’s chest to her stomach, and she marveled that she could go from such heaviness to this lightness. “That’s an interesting way to look at it.”

  “If you say so.” Haley sighed. “I’m almost at work. I’d rather keep talkin’ to you than sit through roll call.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “You’re like a bowl of Wheaties.”

  Tonya laughed. “What does that even mean?”

  “You fortify my day?” Haley was smiling. Tonya could tell from the sound of her voice.

  She laughed even harder. “No, I’m not vitamins.”

  “Well then, let’s just say you’re essential to my mornings.”

  Tonya felt a flash of that same heat, but this time it burned hotter. Haley’s words were over-the-top, but that didn’t stop her from feeling every single one. “You meant that, didn’t you?”

  “I did.”

  Tonya heard other voices. “You have to go.”

  “I have to go,” Haley agreed. “Talk to you tonight.”

  “Okay.”

  Tonya hadn’t expected this ache, and the feeling grew each time they talked. It energized her and left her elated. Tonya wanted more of it. If Haley was able to do this to her over the phone, in person her response would be ten times more powerful. There was nothing lackluster about Haley. The part of Tonya that savored the memories of Brenda jumped for joy, but the rest of her was still undecided. “What did I get myself into?” she mumbled quietly.

  Apparently, the attendant had spotted Tonya coming down the hall; she was already unlocking the elevator designated for the mental health section of the hospital. Tonya nodded as she stepped in. It wasn’t unusual for her to be the only one on it this early, but it was nice to see her staff show some initiative.

  “Hold the elevator!” Stephanie yelled.

  The attendant pressed the button so Stephanie could enter. Tonya smiled at her. “Are you going to make this a habit?”

  “No, trust me. Once or twice a week, tops.” Stephanie all but groaned. “I do have some good news, though, sort of?”

  “Are you asking me?”

  “Telling. I’m definitely telling, just don’t kill me.”

  “You’re being dramatic.”

  “I knoooow, but I’ve just gotten so popular all of a sudden. I should’ve told you, and then it slipped my mind, which isn’t a good sign—”

  “Still dramatic, and you’re not making sense.”

  Stephanie scowled. “Anyway, I have a date, so I need to cancel our Good Friends thing for this week. I was going to reschedule for Saturday, but then I met this guy at CC’s. He looked like the man with dreds on CSI, the one that got fired for being addicted to something or other. He started talking, and I just got sucked into his eyes, and before I knew it, we had made plans. If he turns out to be an ass…” Stephanie leaned toward her and whispered the word. “I’m all yours on Saturday. Friday, too, if that one doesn’t bowl me over.”

  Tonya didn’t begrudge Stephanie’s fun, but she didn’t like the idea of being stuck at home with her father for the weekend. Maybe she could convince Tracy to come home. That probably wasn’t the best of ideas. It would probably just complicate matters. “I suppose I’ll survive.”

  “You could do a lot more than that if you hadn’t turned down—”

  “Ahem.” Tonya cleared her throat and glared.

  “Ohhh, I see. Its okay for me to talk about my love life in public, but not you?”

  “Yes, since you started the conversation anyway.”

  The attendant snorted, and Tonya had the feeling she was very entertained.

  * * *

  For like the thousandth time, Haley glanced at Tang. He looked rumpled. His uniform was wrinkled all to hell like it had been balled up on the floor. His mustache was usually the o
nly facial hair he sported, but today there were whiskers that looked like they would snag her skin if she touched them. Not to mention the bloodshot eyes, and the fact that he yawned every ten minutes or so and had barely said a word to her all morning.

  He reached for the humongous cup of coffee that had to be ice-cold by now and sipped from it, then set the cup back in the holder and turned toward her slightly as he stopped at a red light. “What?” His tone was flat, as if it took too much energy to muster his usual bravado.

  “You look like shit, man.”

  Tang snorted. “No, tell me how you really feel, Rook.”

  “Did you even sleep last night?”

  “Does it fuckin’ look like I did? Shit.”

  Haley wasn’t fazed by his attitude. She just waited. He’d say more when he was ready.

  Soon enough, Tang said, “Worked a twelve-hour shift last night at Ochsner. I gotta get some extra hours in to save money. I barely had an hour’s sleep before I came to this shitshow.”

  She could have told him to slow down and pace himself. But when it came down to it, he had to do what he had to do. “You still up for lunch at Savoie? Now may not be the time to throw new people at you.”

  “Naw, it’ll do me good to laugh and get some decent food. All I had this morning was a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and that nasty coffee.”

  “Why didn’t you stop by McDonald’s or somethin’?”

  “Had to gas up my car. Seemed like as good a place as any to get food.”

  The morning was uneventful, which Haley was thankful for. The most exciting thing they dealt with was a woman reporting that a trampoline and a swimming pool had been stolen from under her house. It was boring as hell, but she’d take days like that when they weren’t both firing on all cylinders.

  They’d just finished another sweep of Hollygrove—the Zoo, as he liked to call it. Tang was driving back down Earhart toward Uptown. There was construction, and the right lane was off-limits because of it. A few people stood on the neutral ground separating the road. They had Dollar General bags and took advantage of the standstill to cross between the cars to the other side of Earhart. It took several minutes, but traffic started moving again, though it was crawling.