by Beau Brown
“Yeah. I know… but he had such a confident presence it really helped. It felt more personal than just a doctor barking orders.”
“Hmm.” I grunted.
“I guess usually the alpha would play that role during the delivery.” My mom glanced over at me, her expression hard to read. “The alpha would soothe his omega, but if he isn’t there, I suppose the doctor had to take over.”
“I guess.” Griff didn’t meet my gaze. “All I know is, Dr. Prost was amazing.”
“I’m glad it all turned out.” I crossed my arms. Maybe my mom and Griff could start a Dr. Prost fan club.
“When are you going to be released?” My mom asked.
“I don’t know.” Griff frowned and then glanced up at me. “I was really only staying at your place until the baby came.”
I scowled. “For goodness’ sake, Griff, you think I want you out of my house the second you pop the kid out?” I stepped closer to my mom who still held the baby. Looking down, I met the blue eyes of the infant, and my chest squeezed oddly. She had her daddy’s eyes for sure. “You should stay as long as you need.”
Griff laughed uneasily. “That wasn’t the deal.”
“Our agreement isn’t in writing. I expected you to stay way longer than one day.” In fact, the idea that Griff would now be on his way was unsettling. I wasn’t sure why. Why had I become attached so quickly to him? “It’s not like having a newborn baby will make your life simple now. It will be really difficult at first.”
Griff swallowed hard. “I know. I’m terrified.”
It was impossible not to smile at his vulnerability. I liked this softer version of him. It was easier to see how he felt, which made it easier on me. “I want you to stay. Hell, I have a crib in the back of my truck. What am I going to do with it if you leave?”
His eyes were shiny, almost as if he was holding back tears. He sniffed. “I hate my fucking hormones. They’re all out of whack.” He gave a choking laugh. “I can’t lie, I’m tempted to stay with you a while longer. You know… just until I can get a handle on this dad thing.”
“Of course. I want that too.”
My mom smiled at us. “I’m glad you two are in agreement. This little sweetie needs a stable place to begin her life. And, not that I’m biased, but my son is as stable as they come.”
My face warmed. “I’m just doing what anyone with a heart would do.”
Griff held my gaze, and something different seemed to be there. I’d never seen gratitude in his eyes before, but at that moment, he wasn’t hiding behind his hard shell. Maybe he was on pain meds or something. I wasn’t sure, but the look in his eyes had my stomach tumbling with odd emotions.
Griff wiped his eyes with the back of his hand roughly. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to lose your housekeeper.”
I laughed. “There’s the Griff I know.”
He grinned. “I wouldn’t want to go all soft on you now.”
“Nah. We wouldn’t want that.”
My mom had a funny look on her face as she watched us. “So it’s settled. Griff and his daughter will stay with you as long as needed, Tex?”
“Yep,” I drawled. The memory of Sven barging into the ER came to me, and a chill ran through me. “Best you stick near me for now.”
Griff nodded, his expression relieved. “Okay, Tex. Whatever you think is best.”
His submissive response surprised the heck out of me, but it also made me happy. I felt a sense of peace that Griff wasn’t going anywhere right now. Somehow, this prickly little omega had wormed his way into my emotions in the space of a day.
Chapter Six
Griff
Cradling my daughter in one arm, I held the door for Tex as he wrangled the crib across the threshold. “That’s in nice condition,” I said, inspecting the white bed. “I was expecting a dilapidated old thing.”
He frowned as he tugged the crib down the hallway, carefully sliding it into my room. He pulled off his gloves, wiping his forehead with the back of his arm. “No way. Only the best for my guests.” He sounded breathless. “They have a lot of baby stuff at that shop, you should take a look sometime.”
“I will. I guess I just figured because it was secondhand, it would be junk.”
“Not at all.” He waved his hand to the room. “Where would you like it?”
I rubbed my chin. “Maybe closer to the bed?”
“Sure thing.” He grabbed the crib and slid it to the area I’d mentioned.
I tried to ignore how the thin material of his blue work shirt clung to the sinewy muscles of his back. My hormones were going nuts since having the baby, and I felt unusually horny.
“How’s that?”
I patted the baby’s back softly as I nodded. “Perfect. This way I can check on her while she’s sleeping.”
He smiled. “You’re a worry wort.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve read so many things about SIDS. It definitely is terrifying.”
“Well, I understand. But you can’t over think this too much. It will drive you nuts.” He brushed off the front of his shirt as he spoke.
“I know.”
“I’ll be right back.” He left the room and returned with a fluffy pink comforter and a package of sheets. “My mom insisted on buying brand-new bedding. She also washed them before she’d let me bring them home. She wanted them to be nice and clean for the baby.”
I widened my eyes. “She bought these sheets?” Sharon had been so kind to me, it was sometimes hard to remember that she wasn’t the actual grandmother. “She didn’t have to do that.”
“I said the same thing.” He gave a gruff laugh. “She said she might never get grandkids with me, so she’s going to spoil your daughter.”
“Wow. Well, please tell her thank you for me.”
“Ha. As if you won’t have the chance to tell her yourself? She’ll drop in every chance she gets to see the baby. Sorry, but that’s just how she is. Hope she doesn’t annoy you too much.”
“Are you serious? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I welcome your mom’s help.” I glanced down at my daughter who was sleeping in my arms. “I can’t believe they let me bring her home all by myself.”
He laughed. “Babies should come with an owner’s manual.”
“Agreed.” I sighed. “I still haven’t committed to a name.”
“Yeah, you need to do that ASAP. If not, I’m just going to do it for you.” He grinned and pulled his hat off, pushing a hand through his hair.
My stomach tumbled at how handsome he looked. More and more I found myself feeling jittery and kind of nervous around Tex. When we’d first met, I’d been so scared and mad at the world, I’d hardly noticed what a good looking alpha he was. Well, obviously, I’d noticed he was attractive because I’d jacked off thinking about him. But now, I could hardly take my eyes off of him. He made my pulse race. Since I’d had the baby, and Tex and I had begun to understand each other a little better, I definitely felt different toward him. I actually sort of trusted him. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt that toward another person. Omega or alpha.
“I was thinking maybe I’d name her Ava.” I met his gaze. “What do you think?”
He nodded, his gaze gentle. “I like it. Ava. It’s pretty.” He seemed to catch himself and he shrugged. “But of course, it’s not up to me.”
“I value your input.”
“Yeah?” He lifted one brow, looking flattered. “Well, I like Ava.”
“Me too.”
He cleared his throat. “If you want to go into town for anything, just ask. You must have things you need for the baby and even yourself.”
I dropped my gaze. “You already bought diapers and wipes.”
“Couldn’t really put off the diaper thing.” He laughed. “Besides, when you’re on your feet, you’ll make it up to me.” He smiled and then grimaced. “I don’t mean that the way it sounded.”
My gut fluttered, but I just laughed off his comment. I had no idea if he
found me attractive. He’d made a point of not wanting me when we’d met a few days ago. Had that changed now that I wasn’t pregnant anymore? I’d never had any trouble attracting guys. Well, when I wasn’t pregnant. But Tex never did anything that gave me the impression he wanted me sexually. That relaxed me, and simultaneously perplexed me; especially since he and his mom had hinted at how he slept with any available omega.
I moved to run my hand along the crib top rail. “I wouldn’t feel right about bothering you for a trip into town.”
He grunted. “You sure as hell better.”
Surprised at his impassioned response, I frowned. “Why?”
His jaw tensed, and he avoided my gaze. “It’s not good for you to be alone.”
“You mean because of Sven?” I felt breathless as I mentioned the other alpha.
“Yeah.” He leaned on the crib, and spoke softly, “I wanted to wait till we were home to tell you that Sven came by the ER yesterday.”
I bugged my eyes, fear washing through me. “He did?” My swallow was more of a gulp. “But how did he know I was there?”
“I don’t know. He must have someone there who’s a friend.” He bit his lower lip. “We had a bit of a run in.”
Shock and fear prickled along my spine. “You did? But why?”
“He wanted to see you. I didn’t think that was a good idea.”
Gratitude filled my heart, and I moved toward him. “You kept him away?” I felt breathless, holding his clear gaze.
“He’s lucky I didn’t deck him.”
I just stared at him. His protective behavior puzzled me. I’d never had someone who barely knew me, stand up for me like he had.
“The unfortunate part is, now he knows you’re here.” His eyes were a steely blue.
“Oh, shit.” Uneasiness came over me like a dark cloud.
“We could try to get a restraining order.” His voice was hushed. “I can’t be here every second of every day. My mom wants to come stay with you during the day. But at some point, you’ll be alone. If he’s watching and waiting--”
My gut clenched. “Would they even give me a restraining order? He’s the biological father.”
“We could try. He’s been abusive to you. The sheriff is a good man, but he’s never been able to do anything because no one will come out and publicly accuse Sven. His hands have been tied.”
I kissed Ava’s forehead, feeling scared. “I don’t know what to do.”
He moved toward me and surprised me when he put his arm around me. Instead of pushing him away like I usually would, I rested my head on his strong shoulder. His clean, masculine scent filled my nostrils, and my cock warmed. His hard, heated body next to mine felt so good. I was overwhelmed by the events of the last few months, and it was nice to lean on someone else for a change. I’d never had an alpha treat me like I was valuable, or worthy of their concern. I’d had plenty of alphas that wanted to fuck me, but Tex made me feel special. Like I was important as a person, and not just a piece of ass. I was surprised that this rough cowboy was the one who made me feel that way, but he did.
He cleared his throat, and dropped his arm, stepping away from me. Raking a hand through his hair, his cheeks were flushed. “I guess we can worry about Sven later. Maybe we should make up the crib.” He grabbed the sheets and pulled them from the package.
He’d moved away so suddenly, I had to shake myself out of my emotional stupor. “Yeah. Sure.” I set Ava in the middle of the bed, where she was safe from the edge, and grabbed the other end of the sheet he held.
We moved to the crib, and together we put the soft bedding on the baby mattress. He shook out the puffy comforter and laid it in the little bed. “Perfect.” He nodded, avoiding my gaze.
He was hard for me to read. Was he embarrassed for having comforted me? I was kind of surprised I wasn’t the one acting all weird. That was more my MO. Maybe he was as confused by me, as I was him. “Thanks for helping. Should we put her in the crib?” I asked.
He nodded, watching the sleeping baby.
I scooped her up, and she whimpered and opened her eyes. I smiled down at her. “Hey, look who woke up.” She wrinkled her brow and kicked her arms and legs, grumbling. “Maybe she’s hungry.”
“I got a thing of formula just in case your milk didn’t come in yet.”
I pressed my chest, feeling my sensitive nipples. “I think maybe it has come in.”
He grimaced. “You want to try to feed her?” He looked like he would like to be anywhere but there at the moment.
I was shy about trying to breastfeed in front of him. I didn’t really know how to do it either. The nurse had given me a brief lesson, but I hadn’t been able to actually feed her yet. I glanced up at him. “Should I try?”
His cheeks were pink. “Hell if I know.”
“Fuck.” I winced at my bad language and looked down at Ava. “Sorry.”
Tex gave a gruff laugh. “I’ll just go do something else and give you some privacy.”
I gave him a nervous glance. “I don’t know how to feed her.”
“You don’t?”
Sweat broke out on my upper lip. It hit me that maybe I didn’t want to be alone. I kind of wanted Tex’s calm presence in the room. I was clueless and so out of my depth, I needed someone to talk me down. “You can stay if you want,” I blurted.
“Oh?” He looked horrified. “You… you want me to stay?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Even I could hear the panic in my voice. “What if I can’t do this? God, what if I can’t feed my little girl?” My heart banged against my ribs.
“Of course you can.”
I held his gaze, my stomach churning. “I’m scared. I’m the worst father ever.”
He exhaled a breath and straightened, clenching his jaw. Then he moved closer. “Get up on the bed.” He hesitated. “I’ll hold her while you climb up.”
He’d never offered to hold her before, so I was surprised. “Oh… okay.” I slowly handed her over to him.
He gripped her like she was the most precious thing he’d ever seen, and his face was tense. “Jesus, she’s so tiny.” His voice shook, and he looked like he regretted ever offering to hold her.
My chest tightened at the sight of her in his arms. It looked so right. “You’re doing great. Maybe support her head more, and you’ll be perfect.”
He adjusted his hold, and looked up expectantly, his eyes wide with wonderment. “Like this?”
I nodded, weird emotions rolling through my chest. “Yep.”
“Okay, now get up on the bed, and just lay back against the pillows.”
Feeling self-conscious, I did as he instructed, unbuttoning my shirt. My fingers shook, and I couldn’t decide if I was more nervous about feeding her, or letting Tex see me with my shirt undone. I definitely wasn’t feeling myself. Since when was I bashful around an alpha?
His gaze scanned my bare chest, and his nostrils flared. He moved closer, and he handed her to me. I took my daughter, and she squirmed and started crying. I was perspiring and nervous as I lifted her to my breast. “God, I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I was shocked when he climbed up on the bed and reclined next to me. He met my gaze, and he smiled warmly. “I’ll try to talk you through this.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, since neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. “This is the blind leading the blind, isn’t it?”
He winced. “I’m sorry. I wish I was more help.”
“I’m glad you’re here.” I meant it. “At least I’m not alone fumbling through this.”
Biting his lip, he pulled back my shirt, exposing my chest more. A strange little shiver went through me when he did that. Having his warm, lanky body next to me, as I learned to feed my daughter, was strangely sensual.
“I think she’ll just latch on if you get the nipple near her mouth.” He had a deep line between his brows as he studied Ava.
“If only it was that easy,” I said, pressing her little
chubby face against my breast. The infant just whined and twisted her face back and forth. “Come on, Ava. Work with me.”
He surprised me when he reached out and stroked my nipple, sending a zip of lust through me, straight to my cock. “Whoa,” I hissed, tensing my abs.
He grinned as my nipple perked up. “That should make it easier for her to grab on.”
“Um… thanks?” I laughed.
“I don’t know anything about breastfeeding, but I know nipples.”
My face warmed, but I was distracted as Ava suddenly latched on. “Oh, fuck!” I widened my eyes as bizarre sensations washed through me. “That’s so weird. Jesus.” I’d never felt anything like the feeling of my daughter suckling my breast. It was the strangest thing in the world. “Is she getting any milk?” I frowned down at the baby, who seemed content as she worked my nipple.
“She seems happy.”
“Do you think so?”
“You’re doing it.” He sounded breathless with excitement. “Griff, you little son of a bitch, you’re feeding your daughter.”
I was embarrassed when tears sprang to my eyes. The lump in my throat prevented me from speaking as I held his affectionate gaze. We stared at each other wordlessly, and he smiled, nodding his encouragement.
“See, you can do this, Griff. You’re a natural.”
I sniffed, trying to swallow, and blinking rapidly to make my tears recede. “I usually screw everything up. Just give me time.”
He scowled. “Stop that. You’re doing great. You’re going to be the best dad.”
I frowned. “I don’t even know how to be a dad. I never had a role model.”
“What do you mean?” he asked softly.
I shrugged. “Nothing.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Come on, Griff. Why’d you say that?”
Sighing, I said, “My dad didn’t want me.”
“Why not?”
“Because my mom died giving birth to me.”
“Damn. I’m sorry.”
“My dad just shut down. I think he blamed me.” I gave a hard laugh. “Actually, I know he did. He told me so.”
“What? That’s horrible. How would it be your fault?”
“I don’t know. He was a drunk, and he was mad at the world.” I sighed and then winced when Ava sucked a little too hard. “Ouch.”
