by Beau Brown
Tex smiled. “She’s a good eater. Not like her dad.”
“Don’t kid yourself. I love to eat.”
He ran his gaze over my body, and then he looked away. “Good. We still need to fatten you up.”
“I haven’t even done any cleaning yet to pay for my keep.”
“You just had a baby. I think you should concentrate on Ava.” He sighed. “I really only asked you to do that so you wouldn’t feel bad about accepting my help.”
I arched one brow. “Were you using psychology on me?”
“Yep.”
“Sneaky.” We sat there in companionable silence while Ava fed.
Eventually, Tex climbed off the bed with a sigh. “As much as I’d like to lie here, I should start dinner.”
For reasons I couldn’t really articulate, I wanted to stay near him. “I can put her down to sleep, and help.”
He looked pleased. “Yeah?”
“Sure. She’s almost asleep now.” I wiggled off the bed and moved to the crib slowly. Then I gently placed the groggy baby in the bed. I stared down at her, as I buttoned my shirt. Then I crept out of the room to the kitchen with Tex.
“I was thinking of making stir fry. How’s that sound?”
“It sounds great.” I patted my stomach. “The hospital food was nutritious, but flavorless.”
He rifled through the spice rack as he asked, “Do you like ginger?”
“I like gingers.” I smiled.
He frowned and moved to open the fridge. “I don’t want to hear about your past lovers.”
I was surprised he actually sounded annoyed. “It was just a joke.”
“I know.” His back was to me so I couldn’t see his expression. He pulled a package of chicken from the fridge, and some veggies.
I’d seen where he kept the cutting board so I grabbed that and put it on the counter. He approached, and he set the food items next to me. He grabbed a knife out of the drawer and he unwrapped the chicken. “I have another cutting board if you want to chop up the vegetables?”
“Sure.” He pointed to a different cupboard, and I pulled out the extra cutting board. “Why do you keep them separate?” I asked.
“To avoid cross contamination.”
I laughed. “You take your cutting boards very seriously.”
“I take salmonella seriously.” He lifted one brow and went back to slicing the meat. “And remember, anything you eat Ava is getting too.”
I straightened. “Well, as an expert about eating food from trash cans, one thing I know is that salmonella isn’t usually transmitted through breast milk. It’s mostly just in the intestinal tract. Breast milk would keep the baby safe.”
He glanced at me, frowning. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yep. That’s about all I do know about salmonella though.”
“When you did eat… that stuff…” He pulled his brows together. “Couldn’t you have passed food poisoning on to your unborn baby?”
“Possibly. But I was picky. I usually grabbed stuff the second after I saw someone throw it away. Sometimes I even just asked them if I could have it before they tossed it. Most people said yes.”
He shuddered. “I hate to think of that being your life.”
“You and me both.” I sliced long pieces of red pepper as I spoke. “It’s been really nice to sleep in a bed and have home cooked meals. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had home cooked food.”
“Seriously?”
I shrugged, my face warming at his shocked tone. “My dad never cooked. I ate a lot of food out of cans. Literally.”
He set his knife down, his eyes dark. “How was that not child abuse? Why didn’t social services take you away from him?”
“I was embarrassed. I didn’t tell anyone what life at home was like.” I concentrated on chopping some celery so I wouldn’t have to meet his gaze. I had little doubt there was probably pity there, and I hated that. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me.
“How did you even survive infancy with a father like that?”
“He must have done the bare minimum when I was really little. But I remember when I was about ten, he started really drinking hardcore. I have no idea what the catalyst was, but he checked out emotionally.” I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feelings those memories brought up in me. “It was like one day he just decided not to love me anymore. Maybe he never even did.”
“Jesus.” His voice was deep, and he moved toward me. “I’m sorry you went through that.”
My face warmed, and I met his sympathetic gaze. “I didn’t tell you that so you’d pity me.”
“I know.”
“That was the past. I barely think about that anymore.”
He shook his head. “You probably should think about it. You’re a dad now, Griff. What you went through as a kid could shape the sort of father you are to Ava.”
“I don’t see why.”
“Your family teaches you how to love. You’ll want to be careful you don’t let your upbringing impact how you influence Ava.”
“Why would it?”
“I’m just saying it could. You seem to have a pretty jaded idea of love.”
I snorted. “What makes you such an expert on loving relationships?”
“I’m not saying I’m an expert.”
“Good, because from what I can gather, you avoid commitment like the plague.”
“Not because I’m afraid.” His mouth was a grim line.
“You sure about that?”
“Absolutely. I’ve never met anyone I wanted to stay with forever. Having a kid is serious business. I’m not settling for just anyone. I want true love. I want the full package. I don’t just want to breed. I want a real family, and that means I have to love the omega I choose.”
“Love. What a crock.”
He pointed at me with a smirk. “See? That right there is what I’m talking about. You have a daughter now. Are you going to raise her with that attitude?”
“I’ll definitely warn her that love is an illusion.”
He widened his eyes. “Is your love for her an illusion?”
I dropped my gaze. “That’s different. I’m talking about romantic love.”
“Love is real. You’re just scared. You’ve decided it’s safer to not get close to people, so then they can’t hurt you.”
“Wow. That’s deep.” I rolled my eyes, trying to pretend his words weren’t getting to me.
“It’s actually really sad.” He moved back to his cutting board, shaking his head. “Hopefully you’ll wake up before you screw up Ava emotionally too.”
“Too?”
“You’re kind of a mess in the love department, buddy.”
“Gee, thanks for the lecture, Professor Love.” I picked up my knife and started slicing veggies like a machine. I was so distracted by my anger that when I sliced into my finger, I didn’t even notice at first. Not until blood dripped onto the cutting board. “Shit.”
He glanced over and dropped his knife. He strode to me, grabbing a towel out of a drawer as he neared me. “Is it bad? Did you cut deep?” He tugged me closer and wrapped my hand in the towel.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled, feeling a little queasy at the sight of my blood.
He squinted at the cut, scowling. “You’re supposed to cut the veggies, not your damn hand.”
“It’s not like I did this on purpose,” I snapped.
“Jesus, you’re stubborn,” he muttered. “I’m just trying to have a conversation with you. You don’t have to get so mad you cut your hand off.”
I closed my eyes. “Do you have any band-aids? I’d like to stop looking at it. I’m about to hurl.”
He gave an impatient sound. “Come with me.”
I let him guide me toward the bathroom, feeling pissed off, but also strangely aroused with his arm around my shoulder.
Chapter Seven
Tex
Jesus, Griff got under my skin easily. I tried to push away my annoya
nce with him and instead concentrated on his wound. I unwrapped the towel to examine his sliced skin. “Yeah, you cut pretty deep.”
“I’m not going to the hospital,” he grumbled, trying to pull his hand away.
I held on tight. “I don’t think it’s that bad. I can put some Neosporin on it and bandage it.”
“Fine.”
I told him to sit on the edge of the tub, and he obeyed with a surly expression. I grabbed the peroxide and antiseptic ointment and knelt down in front of him. “You should be more careful.”
“Your babbling psychoanalysis distracted me.”
My lips twitched, but I held my smile in check. He was already pissed off enough. If I laughed at him, he’d probably punch me. “I’m just trying to help.”
“By dragging up old shit?” He met my gaze, his eyes a dark, angry blue.
“I was simply trying to say you need to be careful not to pass on your bitterness to Ava.”
He scowled, but he didn’t speak.
“You know, after how your dad was, there’s no shame in admitting you’ve been hurt.” I tried to keep my voice even and light. He was so touchy, I knew he’d fly off the handle if he felt judged.
“There’s also no point in it.”
“I disagree.”
“Gee. What a surprise. You think you know best.”
I couldn’t hold back my laugh this time. “I usually do know best.”
“Jesus, you have a big head. Do most omegas fall for this shit?” He smirked.
I dabbed his sliced finger with some peroxide. “I know you want to be a good dad, and I have little doubt you will be. But you do need to be aware that you’re jaded.”
I exhaled roughly. “Fine. I’m jaded. You win.”
“I’m not trying to win. I only want the best for you and Ava.” I tossed the used cotton ball into the trash. Then I blew on his finger to dry it off.
He wiggled around and hissed. “That tickles.”
I stopped blowing. “It does?”
He nodded. “You know, I’m perfectly capable of putting on a bandage.”
I didn’t want to admit that I liked taking care of him at the moment. “I can do it quicker.”
“Whatever.”
I carefully wrapped the band-aid around his finger, enjoying the feel of his hand in mine. His scent was clean and grassy, and it made my senses prickle. I was becoming more and more aware of him physically. While the first day we’d met, I hadn’t been interested in sex with him, I had to admit, I was now attracted to him. Watching him breastfeed his daughter today had given me a hard-on, and I’d moved off the bed quickly so he didn’t notice I’d been aroused.
Have we really only known each other three days?
Once his cut was handled, I stood, and washed my hands. He slipped from the bathroom, and I found him in his room, watching Ava. I stayed near the doorway, uncertain if he was still mad at me or not.
When he noticed me, he grimaced. “I thought I heard her cry.”
The baby was sound asleep, so he must have imagined that. “She looks pretty content.”
“Yeah.”
I cleared my throat. “Do you still want to help me make dinner?”
He nodded and followed me to the kitchen. Luckily, most of the veggies he’d cut had already been tossed in the pan on the stove before he injured himself. He washed the others down the drain, and he ran the garbage disposal.
“What else can I do?” he asked, holding his bandaged hand behind his back.
I was glad he’d joined me in the kitchen again. Even though he could be testy, I had an annoying desire to have him near me. “I have some left-over sticky rice in the fridge. Do you want to get that out? We can microwave it once the stir-fry is cooked.”
“Okay.” He went to do my bidding.
I watched him as he bent over to grab the rice from the fridge. His jeans fit the curve of his firm ass nicely. My cock hardened as I watched him, and I pulled my gaze away. He’d probably hate me if he knew I was sexually attracted to him now. I wasn’t sure what had changed, or why I wanted him suddenly. Perhaps it was simply sharing the birth of his daughter that had bonded us more. Whatever the reason, I found my new feelings toward him confusing.
He leaned against the island, and watched me stirring the chicken in the pan. He cleared his throat and said, “I’m sorry I was so angry earlier.”
His apology shocked me. I’d have thought a meteor would hit the earth before Griff would apologize to me. “Oh, it’s… it’s okay.”
“Not really. You have a point. I am a bitter mess. I do think most people suck. I do feel like love is bullshit.” He sighed. “I don’t want Ava to be like me when it comes to that stuff. I want her to find love and have a happy life.”
“She will.”
His mouth turned down at the corners. “God, I hope so. Being alone isn’t fun.” He grimaced. “I mean, yeah, I have freedom and all that stuff.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Freedom is nice.” I’d always valued my freedom too. But I had to admit, since having Griff around all the time these last few days, I kind of liked it. I enjoyed having Griff in my house. It made it more of a home.
He looked up. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“I hate the pressure society puts on us to breed.” His voice was hesitant. “Does it bug you too?”
I set the spoon down and faced him. “It pisses me off.”
He smiled, dimples appearing in his cheeks. “Right? I mean, shit, shouldn’t we be able to decide if we want that or not?”
“Some people just do what they want.”
“Not many. And as an omega, everybody looks at me like I’m a second class citizen if I don’t have an alpha. It irks me. Why is my worth tied up with an alpha?”
I knew what he said was true. Omegas were judged harsher than alphas. “Well, at least you’ve now had a kid. That should take you up a notch.”
He scowled. “Not really. It’s almost worse to have a baby, but not have an alpha in the picture.”
The thought of Sven made my skin crawl. “Well, hard or not, that asshole Sven needs to keep his distance.”
“Yeah.”
I went back to stirring the chicken, and then I added the veggies. Griff heated the rice, and then we served the fragrant food onto plates. Griff sat at the table, and I brought us each a glass of lemonade. I smiled at him and he smiled back, making my pulse spike. Maybe I needed to get laid, just to take the edge off of this lust for Griff. But I didn’t want to leave Griff here alone. I was too nervous about Sven trying something. I’d just take a cold shower later and try not to think about my sexy roommate.
We chatted amiably during the meal. Griff was funny, and he had lots of stories about his life on the road. I found it weird that he’d never really settled anywhere. He had no actual home base. Sweet Water was the only place he’d stayed in over a month, and that was mostly because Sven had kept him here against his will.
“You know, you’re nomadic lifestyle won’t be good for Ava.” I spoke softly, watching him closely.
His face tensed. “It won’t matter at first.”
“No. But when she’s old enough to go to school, it won’t be good for her if you move her around a lot.”
He shrugged. “That’s a long way away.”
“Don’t you ever think about settling down in one place?”
He shook his head sharply. “Why would I?”
“I don’t know. I’ve lived in Sweet Water my whole life. Everybody knows me, and we all look out for each other.”
“Really? Then why isn’t Sven in jail?” His voice was hard.
“I told you, no one will stand up and accuse him publicly. There isn’t much anyone can do without that.”
“It must be obvious why no omega wants to come forward. An omega’s word against an alpha is rarely taken.” He lifted his chin.
“I believed you when you told me about Sven.”
A haunted look came into his eye
s. “Yeah, that surprised me.”
“It did?”
He nodded. “A lot of things about you surprise me.” He dropped his gaze, and I could see the pulse at the base of his neck beating swiftly.
“You surprise me too.”
He flicked his eyes to mine. “In what way?”
A little smile touched my lips. “I like you. I didn’t think I would.”
“You like me? Even though I’ve been so touchy?”
“Yep.”
He laughed gruffly. “I grow on people like a fungus.”
I smiled. “And watching you with Ava is really touching. I’m not usually sappy like that about babies, but it’s nice seeing you two together.”
His face flushed, and he grimaced. “I love her so much, it scares me.”
“I can tell.”
He clenched his fist on the table. “I need to keep her safe at all costs.”
“We will.”
He looked up hesitantly. “We?”
I winced. “I just mean, while you’re here. I’ll be sure you’re both safe.”
His gaze glittered, and he seemed breathless. “Thanks.”
I hadn’t been sure if he was attracted to me before, but now I sensed his attraction toward me. I knew how to read omegas, and his scent of arousal was obvious to me. If he were any other omega, I’d have led him into my room, and we’d have fucked. Just thinking about that had my cock painfully constricted in my underwear. But I clenched my jaw and forced myself to ignore those urges. He wasn’t here to have sex with me. He was here seeking my help and protection.
I stood and took my empty plate to the sink. I kept my back to him so he couldn't see my bulging crotch. It wasn’t going to be easy to ignore him now that I knew he wanted me, but I would try. I didn’t want to do anything that would make him distrust me or want to leave.
“Do you think I could take a shower?” Griff asked from behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “Of course.”
“Would you listen for Ava?”
I nodded, a little uneasy that if the baby cried, I’d have to be the one to deal with her. “Sure.” I didn’t show my nervousness to Griff. He deserved a shower and some time to himself.
