by Nola Marie
“She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t talk about you at all, but I can see it in her face. Her eyes and nose all red. She looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks. She wouldn’t video chat at all for a couple of days. Said something about running into a door and not wanting me to see her black eye. I’ve seen Tori with black eyes before, so I didn’t by the bullshit. Then I asked about you and she just started bawling then ended the call. So, I ask again? What did you do douche bag?”
I pull into the stadium parking lot after flashing my pass at the security guard. I park beside Zoey’s new SUV and cut the engine. The black eye comment runs through my mind. There is no way that Tori ran into a door. And she wouldn’t try to hide a black eye from Maddox. Which tells me I’m not the only one she is keeping secrets from. I can’t help the worry that churns in my gut at what she’s really hiding. “What makes you think I did anything? What makes you think she didn’t do it?”
He’s quiet for a minute. He must really be trying to think of an answer. “Look, I know Tori is notorious for short-lived relationships, but when she’s done, she’s done. She doesn’t sabotage she just walks away. And she damn sure doesn’t fucking cry over it.”
I lean my head against the seat of the truck. I’m tired. And hurting. And fucking worried. “I didn’t do anything Maddox. Tori is keeping things from me.”
“And you don’t keep things from her?” His voice is laced with accusation. Maddox is well aware about what I’m involved in.
“If she asked, I’d tell her. She had a not too subtle run in with Rory and Jax. She’s not stupid. If she’s not asking it’s either because she’s already figured it out or doesn’t want to know. This is totally different. She took a match a few weeks ago. She never said a word about it until I pointed out the bruises. She’s been acting differently. Withdrawn. She is hiding something, and I’ve asked what. She denies anything.”
“So, you just dump her?”
“No, Maddox, I didn’t just dump her over that. I haven’t dumped her at all technically, but a couple of weeks ago I was at a charity event in Chicago and she was there. With another guy. After she lied to me and said she would be working all weekend.”
I hear him suck in a breath. “What the hell?” he blows out.
“Yeah, that’s the gist of it.”
“Tori didn’t cheat on you, Zane. You must know that.”
I do know that. I know Tori would never do something like that in spite of where my mind initially went. “I do know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that she lied to me. That she was there with another man regardless of the reason. Or that she has been closed off for weeks.” Then something occurs to me. “Ever since she stayed with Cara in Chicago,” I mumble lowly.
“I don’t know what’s going on, Zee, but I know that Tori really cares for you. I’m not bullshitting here. I’ve never seen the girl so messed up.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. This is not what I need before a game. “Maddox -.”
“Don’t Maddox me, Zane.”
“I’m a lot of things, Maddox. Most of which are not good. I’ve seen and done some really bad shit. You know this. But I hate being fucking lied to. And I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. Who doesn’t trust me. It could get one or both of us killed.”
“So that’s it? You just gonna give up?”
“What am I supposed to do? If she won’t tell me what’s going on, what the fuck am I supposed to do? She won’t even tell you. Has she said anything to her brother?”
“No. And he’s worried as fuck and pissed as hell at you.”
“If he has a problem with me, he can call me.”
“No, man. I don’t need to lose my drummer. He’s a pretty good friend too.”
“Why do you assume it will end in death?”
“Not death, necessarily," he chuckles, "But he needs both arms and a working brain.”
“He’s Tori’s brother. I would never hurt him. Much.”
“Talk to her, Zane. She’ll be there today, you know.”
I sit straight. I definitely did not know. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s going to be there for Zoey’s thing.”
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I can’t completely avoid her if she’s in the same area.
“I gotta go, Maddox. I’m going to be late.”
The next three hours are absolute shit. I dropped the ball twice. I missed it completely once. And I’ve been hit so many times I don’t think sitting in the ice bath for the next two days is going to help.
Somehow, we managed to win the game in spite of my fuck ups.
I pull into the driveway of Rory’s beach house and follow the sound of Arabella’s squeal to the back. “Took you long enough to get here,” Jax says giving me a worried look.
I just nod. I don’t tell him I’ve been driving like an old man for the last hour. I don’t tell him that I almost flaked on my sister and Layla because Tori is coming.
I guess I thought after I left the other day and three weeks without answering the phone or texts she wouldn’t come. I suppose I should be glad that she’s coming. That she’s not letting our issues affect her relationship with Zoey.
And we haven’t technically broken up. I’ve just been dodging her. Then again, we weren’t technically a couple. But titles or not, we were – are – together. We are in a relationship.
“Are you good, Zee?” Jax asks me, taking a swig from his beer.
Bastian and Rory look at me with worry on their expressions as well. “Why are y’all looking at me like that?”
“Just a little worried about you, Zee.”
“Have you ever dropped a ball or missed a catch before?”
I drop my head between my shoulders and close my eyes. I would never admit it, but this isn’t the first time I’ve done either of those. It’s just the first time it’s happened in an actual game. “I had an off day,” I growl at them. “So, sue me.”
“We’re not judging, man,” Bastian tells me. “We’ve all been there. Me most recently when I trashed Red.”
“Yours was a misunderstanding.”
“Yeah, a fucking misunderstand that nearly cost me everything.”
“You didn’t know, Bastian,” I tell him.
“And we got her back,” Rory adds.
“And dealing with DeLuca gave me a fucking outlet,” I laugh.
I glance over to see my sister and the other girls sitting. “I’m gonna go say hi to the girls.”
I walk the few steps from the barbeque to where the girls are sitting on the patio furniture. “All my favorite girls in one place,” I boom. Except that I wince inwardly because it’s not all my favorite girls. I keep the smile on my face though. No one is better at that shit than me. I pull Verity from her chair, wrapping her in a tight hug. I haven’t seen much of her since that night with DeLuca. “How are you doin’, darlin’?”
“Too tight,” she says strained.
I set her back to her feet quickly. “Fuck, Verity, I didn’t -,” I stammer. “I totally forgot.” It’s the truth that I forgot she didn’t come back from Chicago unscathed. She has a long time before she will be healed physically. I hope her head doesn’t take longer. If I could bring DeLuca back and kill him again I would.
“It’s okay,” she tells me with a smile.
Except I’m not really listening or looking at her anymore. My eyes are solidly focused on one woman that always garners my attention every time she walks into my space. I feel her every time. Like my entire body is wired to know exactly where she is.
Just like that night. I knew she was there before I saw her. Before the douche made a point to make sure I saw her.
I knew the minute she entered the backyard space. Fuck. I’m pretty sure I knew the minute she got out of the car. I could feel her in the air. And as much as I didn’t want to, my eyes instantly fell to her the minute she was within sight. I knew exactly what corner she was rounding the second she di
d.
She takes my damn breath away every time I lay eyes on her. Today is no different as she wears that off the shoulder white dress that hangs over her body flowing down her body. That hair that’s nearly white hair tied up high like a goddamn halo.
I drag my hand over my face trying to contain myself. My anger and frustration but also the way I am getting totally fucking turned on just by the sight of her.
“Tori!” Zoey squeals in a high pitch that nearly makes my ears bleed.
Tori’s eyes flicker over me briefly before she leans over to give Zoey a hug. I still have Verity pulled into my side. Hanging on to her like she is keeping me contained. In a way, she is.
I hear more introductions as my teeth grind together. I can’t make up my mind if I want to leave or stay. If I want to take her with me or leave her in the dust. If I’m pissed or – no I’m definitely pissed. And it’s only growing but I don’t know if I’m pissed with her or myself.
She looks between Verity and me a few times. Her eyes linger on my arm around Verity’s waist. I nearly jerk back but stop myself. I’m not doing anything wrong and I don’t want to make Verity feel like she’s done anything wrong either.
Her eyes meet mine for a brief second. They are sad and desperate and I’m sure mine are blazing with anger that I’m realizing minute by minute isn’t at her or myself but at the fucking situation. At the fact that something is going on and she’s not saying anything. That she lied to me then appeared in Chicago with another man. That I haven’t answered the fucking phone once in three weeks to talk this shit over. The more I think about everything, the angrier I’m getting.
She opens her mouth to say something but something behind us stops the words.
A hand lands on my shoulder. “Zee, Jax needs your help with something,” Bastian says.
I don’t say a word. I just let him pull Verity to his side and walk away.
I’m getting a little too good at walking away.
I fucking hate it.
Tori
I can’t take my eyes off of Zane. I’ve missed him so much. I’ve cried pretty much twenty-four/seven for the last three weeks. I don’t even recognize myself. I’m not one of those girls. But I’ve been one of those girls. Sleep has become nonexistent. The thought of food makes me sick. I’m distracted as hell.
The fight three weeks ago? Well, I won it, but it wasn’t easy. My mind and heart weren’t in it. It was wherever he was. Lots of bruises, a broken nose, and a couple of broken ribs was the price I paid. Along with a nasty fucking concussion.
Fortunately, the bruises and outward evidence of that fight have healed. Unfortunately, ribs take a lot longer to heal and I have another fight in three more weeks. Zane is radiating anger. He’s still pissed off. Not that I can blame him. If the roles had been reversed, I would have ripped his balls off first then asked questions.
“You must be Tori,” I hear Sebastian Delrie say but Zane is the only one getting my attention right now. I watch him with Jax dragging his hand down his face in frustration. He waves around and I would think he’s yelling but I can’t hear anything. He’s whispering – whisper shouting so no one can hear them.
He begins to pace back and forth as his agitation grows. I expect any second for him to leave his own sister’s party.
Until a little girl around nine or ten runs up, wrapping herself around his legs. I watch him look down at the little girl with warmth and love. It makes my insides tingle.
Fucking tingles. I’ve never had thoughts of kids or anything like that before but seeing him with that little girl is making me want and hope for things I’ve never wanted. Things I shouldn’t want now.
“You’re kind of making me look like an ass here,” I hear Bastian say.
I turn my attention to him, turning I’m sure three shades of red. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Tori,” I tell him taking his hand. My eyes float back to Zane. I watch him as he lets the little girl drag him across the fenced yard to the sandy beach past the gate. Once they’re out, he grabs her, lifting her high and making her squeal.
“Bastian, don’t tease,” Zoey reprimands. “You know she’s like a big fan of yours or something.”
“You have fans?” I hear the girl Zane had his arms around ask.
“Just people who like my tattoos,” he gives her a cocky grin.
I give her a look of shock and disbelief. “Sebastian Delrie is like the Johnny Depp of the tattoo industry,” my inner fan girl comments.
Zoey explains that a tattoo Sebastian has been working on is for me. We make idle chat about its placement and design, all the while, my eyes keep glancing back toward Zane.
“Tori come talk with me for a minute,” Bastian says.
I nod and follow him across the yard into the house. We continue through until we find an office. He gestures for me to sit while he makes his way to a small mini bar. “Drink?” he asks with his back toward me pouring himself a glass of tequila.
“Dear God, please,” I gasp. It’s exactly what I need if I’m going to make it through the rest of this party.
“What’s your poison?”
“At this point, literally anything. The stronger the better.”
“I’ve seen your work, Tori,” he begins without further pleasantries. “The tattoos you did on Zane and Zoey are really, really good. Can’t say I’ve seen too many better.”
He sits across from me while handing me a tumbler full of dark liquid. I didn’t see him pour but I know the smell. Jack Daniels.
“Thank you, Sebastian. Zoey actually drew the design, so I don’t know if it’s that great but thank you. Coming from you, it’s a huge compliment.”
He gives me a sharp look. A smug smirk drawing the side of his mouth as he sips his drink. “It’s not a compliment. It’s the truth. Compliments and flattery aren’t exactly my forte.”
I nod as I look into his eyes, noticing they are two different colors. And quite intense but it’s a different kind of intensity than I’ve seen in Jax or Rory. His are almost indifferent but – not. He is enigmatic and not easy to read by any means. “Well, thank you anyway,” I tell him with a curious look.
“I wanted to offer you a job at my shop,” he says gauging my reaction.
He doesn’t have to gauge long. Or hard. I bet the way my drink comes flying out of my mouth is plenty of indication that my reaction is pure surprise.
“You may not offer flattery, but I definitely am,” I tell him as I regain my composure. “But I live in New York.”
“I may have heard that you aren’t exactly happy there anymore.” Those two different colored eyes continue to take me in, and I finally understand the intensity of them. He’s reading me. And as much as I want to make it stop, I find myself unable.
“I’m not unhappy,” I retort. “Besides, I don’t think Zane would be very happy to have me around here.”
“Zane isn’t happy with you right now. That’s for sure.”
I feel a little attacked by his tone. There’s no doubting that he’s been told about what happen a few weeks ago. But, fuck, if I’m going to let this man know that I feel like shit over it all. I straighten my back and raise my chin. “I really can’t help that he isn’t happy with me.”
A grin spreads across his face. No doubt Sebastian Delrie is hot as sin. All angles and arrogance. “You are the only one that can help it. But I want to tell you a few things you may not realize about Zane.”
“And what may that be?”
He throws back the rest of his drink with a chuckle. “I like you, Tori,” he tells me shaking the glass toward me. “You don’t really delve into drama, do you?”
“I try not to if I can avoid it. But it’s not always avoidable.”
“Zane is different. The kid has this knack for reading people. We all do, but Zane? He can see past all the bullshit and lies and even self-denial like no one I’ve ever met. The way his mind works is something I may never understand. Did you know it was Zane that told Jax, Rory and I to pull our
heads out of our asses about our girls?”
I shake my head in response, but I can’t say I’m surprised. I already knew Zane is capable of looking straight through a person.
“He always knows exactly what a person needs to hear or knows just the right thing to do to push someone into doing what they should. It’s unnerving as fuck because on the surface, he plays the part of laidback goofball. An attention whore that never gets enough.”
I lean forward a bit to listen to what he has to say. Hoping he can impart some wisdom on me. Or least give me an idea of what to do to make Zane fucking talk to me.
Although I’m not sure what good it will do. What can I really tell him? I can’t tell him the truth without putting him and Cara in danger.
“But Zane has a bad fucking habit of looking into a person’s soul. It’s a little fucking creepy. You know he was in love once?”
I swallow hard. I actually didn’t know that. He told me he was in a relationship once, but never elaborated. I also never asked.
“It was a whirlwind type thing a few years ago. He knew a girl when he was younger. They lost touch. Then he ran into her again. He found Lacy again and fell ass over feet instantly. Although, knowing what I know now, that’s usually how it happens. I never believed in love, much less love at first sight, but when you meet the person you’re supposed to be with, it’s like your soul recognizes it so much fucking faster than your head.”
I’m not sure I’m even breathing right now. I’m sitting on a sofa across from Sebastian Delrie discussing love and Zane. I’m pretty sure my embarrassment is showing even though I’m trying hard to fight it. I’m trying to be strong, but I have a feeling any second, I’m going to crumble back into the crying fits I’ve lived in for three weeks now. “Wh – what happen with them?” I croak, not sure if I want to know the answer.
“Zane didn’t know it at the time, but Lacy was dying. Stage four leukemia. It was her third battle with it since she was seven.”
I suck in a breath as tears burn my eyes. I don’t want to hear this from Sebastian. I don’t think I would want to hear it from Zane.
“Six months after they met, she died. Today is the fourth anniversary of her death.”
