by Nola Marie
The tears begin to fall. I quickly try to wipe them away, but they keep coming.
“I’m not going to say Zane hasn’t gotten around. That guy gets more ass than a toilet seat. It’s just fun for him where the rest of us were just trying to either numb something or feel something. But Zane isn’t jaded. He just knew when he found the right girl, he’d know in an instant.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I say with a hiccup.
He laughs with a shake of his head. “I have a point I’m trying to make. Never been big on talking but I owe the guy. He’s my brother for all intents and purposes and he’s been fucking miserable the last few weeks. I know what happened in Chicago. I have a feeling you’re in over your head with something. And I think you aren’t telling him because you think you’re protecting him. But Zane can’t handle secrets and lies. He – we are a part of something that doesn’t allow for missteps. Trust is hard to come by and it’s easy to break. You aren’t protecting Zane. You’re hurting him and yourself. Whatever you’ve gotten yourself into, you need to tell him.”
“Thought you said Zane was the one who read people’s souls,” I chuckle sarcastically.
“He does. But I can read people too. Not always the emotion, but I see things. I can see you’re torn up over something and that something isn’t just Zane. You’re jumpy and when you move, it’s stiff and with a bit of a wince from time to time. I’ve also notice you are working hard to keep your breathing shallow. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say you’ve got a couple of broken ribs. Am I right?”
I open my mouth to argue. To tell him he’s wrong. That he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But he gives me a look that makes ice and fire travel through my veins. I know it won’t do any good to deny anything. So, I just shut my mouth and don’t say a word.
“Talk to him, Tori. He can do more about it than you probably think.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little hypocritical?” I finally blurt out.
He raises an eyebrow at me in surprise and amusement. “How so?”
“Zane hasn’t told me everything either. He didn’t tell me about Lacy. I know there are other things he doesn’t tell me too.”
“Have you asked him?”
I drop my head. “No,” I answer. I’ve never been concerned, but I also knew, without a doubt, had I asked, he would’ve told me. He’s not hiding things. He’s just waiting on me to ask for answers.
He doesn’t say anything in response to that. I know he can already tell he doesn’t have to. “And I meant what I said about working in my shop. You’re good, Tori. I could really use you there if you ever decide to leave New York. You can check it out when you come by this evening.”
I give a weak smile and nod as the entire conversation and the last half hour leave me reeling.
Getting a tattoo over broken ribs is both smart and stupid. Smart because you can’t breathe deeply anyway so it works in the artist favor. Stupid because that fucking shit hurts like a bitch.
I was glad Verity came to watch. She’s a really nice girl. I have a feeling she’s been through a lot, but she seems resilient. And Sebastian – Bastian – seems protective as hell.
I meet up with Zoey and Layla at Night Sky around ten. Zoey looks a little hilarious and ridiculous there with her very pregnant belly. She laughs at herself when she looks around.
“I wanted us to go to Red,” Layla tells me, “but Rory has the damn place guarded like fucking Fort Knox.”
“What’s Red?” I ask as I sip on my wine.
“Another club owned by Rory and Bastian,” she answers with a strange smirk on her face.
I wait a few moments for her to explain. She just keeps grinning, so I ask, “and it’s off limits because?”
“Because it’s also a strip club and Layla used to work there. Rory is the jealous, possessive type and doesn’t want Layla there.” Zoey explains it all without batting an eye.
Me on the other hand? My jaw is hanging on the floor. “You were a stripper?”
She laughs with a wave. “No. I worked on the bar side as a waitress, but men are handsy you know? Verity got on stage once though. A few weeks ago, in fact.”
This time, I nearly spit my drink out. “Verity? Stripped?”
“Not really,” Zoey admits. “But she did get on stage and dance. It was sexy as hell.”
“And Sebastian was okay with that?”
“Not really,” Layla explains with a furrow between her brows. “But Bastian tries to keep chill. Verity has some self-esteem issues. The little performance helped her feel better in her own skin.”
"Now," Zoey changes the subject, "I’ve heard his side story. Now I want yours.”
I swallow hard because I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell her the truth any more than I can Zane. “What did Zane tell you?” I deflect her question with another.
“Uh-uh. I asked you first.”
My eyes drop to my wine glass as the burn of tears threaten. I hate that I have been reduced to tears by a guy. I haven’t cried since the day my mom left when I was seven. I know that sounds impossible given teen age hormones and what have you, but it’s the truth. Until Zane fucking Valen. The worst part is that it isn’t even his fault.
“I think it’s best if we just leave it alone,” I tell her softly.
“I would do that except my brother spends most of his days drowning in a bottle of whatever he can get his hands on. Zane likes to drink but this is beyond excessive for him. And I know it’s because he misses you.”
I toss back the rest of the wine. I know avoiding isn’t going to help anything, but I can’t tell her the truth. I stand and make my way to the dance floor taking two steps at a time.
I lose myself in the crowd moving to the sound of the music. Except I’m not lost at all. My mind is completely focused on Zane. Then my eyes are completely focused on him across the floor standing there with another guy staring holes into me.
It’s in that moment, I realize how stupid it was to come here. Not just to the club, but to this fucking city. I have developed a great friendship with Zoey. Jax too. But being here? Where Zane is? It’s fucking torture.
I move quickly back to the lower area towards our seats. I grab my purse and excuse myself. “Tori, don’t go,” Zoey says quickly.
I can’t do anything but shake my head.
I run to the elevator pushing the button over and over as I wait for it to reach the rooftop of the skyscraper. I see Zane coming when the doors close.
I lean against the wall and let the tears fall for the ride down. An uber is already waiting for me when I walk out the door.
Fifteen minutes later, I am walking down the hallway to my hotel room only to stop short when I see that dark blond hair leaning against the wall next to the door of my room. My breathing stops as I try to figure out what to do now.
Knowing there is no other way out of this, I press forward. “What are you doing here, Zane? How did you get here so fast?”
He lifts his eyes from the floor to me with a smirk. “I know this city better than anybody. I miss you, Tori.”
I exhale and my shoulders slump. “I miss you too,” I tell him as more tears threaten to spill.
“Does that mean you’re ready to tell me the truth?”
I can’t even look him in the eye. Guilt is probably permeating the air around us. “I haven’t lied about anything,” I whisper.
“So, that wasn’t you in Chicago when you told me you had to work all weekend?”
“It wasn’t what it looked like.”
“You don’t think I know that? I know you, Tori. I see you.”
I still keep my eyes anywhere but on his. I don’t think I can handle the look in those nearly black orbs. Pretty sure I will crumble and melt the minute I meet them. “I did have to work. Then I had to go to Cara.”
“You’re leaving out a lot, Tori. What were you doing at that party?”
“I was doing a favor for Cara,” I tell him becaus
e it’s as close to the truth as I can get. “Her boyfriend’s friend needed a date.”
I can feel in eyes penetrating right in my soul. I think about Bastian’s words, knowing they’re nothing if not accurate. Zane can read people. But he can more than read me. He sees me. He knows that there is so much more than what I’m saying.
“I don’t know why I even came here,” he hisses. “I knew before I did, you weren’t going to tell me anything. What I really want to know is why? Why the fuck don’t you trust me? Haven’t I proven that you can trust me?”
I feel a tear fall. I can’t speak. Can’t utter a word without breaking into sobs.
He shakes his head in what I can only guess is disgust and walks past me to the elevator. I quickly slip my card into the door. As soon as I’m in, I shut it then lean against it with a heaving sob.
“Why are you in River City?” I jump at the deep voice that travels from the darkness of my room. How the fuck did he get in here? How the fuck does he even know I’m here?
“What are you doing here?” I hiss.
“I asked you first.” He flicks on the lights so I can see his slimy ass sitting up in the bed that I was supposed to sleep in. Now I’ll have to sleep on the floor.
“What I am doing here is none of your goddamned business.” I quickly wipe the tears that are staining my cheeks. I straighten my spine and lift my chin. This bastard will not see me cower.
“Actually, darlin’, it is my business what my investment does if it means her head won’t be in the game.” He moves from the bed and begins to stalk toward me.
My heart thumps against my chest. I wouldn’t normally be afraid, but this man has much more than my physical harm he can threaten me with. “Investment?” I scoff because an investment implies I get something out of this arrangement. Call a fucking spade a spade. “This is blackmail, and you should have thought of that before you brought me to a party then made sure my boyfriend saw us.”
He gives a low, dark chuckle as he moves even closer to me. “You have no idea how much fun it is to screw with Valen or any of those fucks.”
I have no idea what his deal is with Zane or anyone. I don’t ask. Fuck, I’m not even breathing at this second as he invades my personal space. Every muscle in my body is tense.
“Why don’t I help you forget Valen?” he murmurs with hot, sticky breath against my ear. Revulsion and bile build in the pit of my stomach.
“Not on your fucking life,” I spit in his face.
I should see it coming. I should be expecting it but for some reason I’m caught completely off guard when the back of his hand connects with my jaw. I wheeze for air when his hand wraps around my throat. “Fucking bitch.”
He slams his disgusting mouth against mine. For just a second, I relent – give into the kiss. Just enough that his grip loosens.
I bite his lip hard. My knee finds his balls with all the force I’ve been taught to use in the ring. When he doubles over, that same knee finds his face. Then I kick him to the floor and run out of the room.
I race down the hallway, but I can hear him stumbling behind me. I press the elevator button over and over like it will speed its upward ascent. When it opens, I jump inside then press the close door button in the same manner.
It does just before he reaches it.
And for some reason, the weight of everything comes crashing down on me. How fucked up this situation really is. How dangerous it is.
When the elevator doors open, I jump into the first taxi available knowing exactly where to go.
I just hope I'm not too late.
Zane
I walk into my apartment, throwing my keys on the table by the door. I stalk my way to the mini bar beside the balcony entrance and pour a highball glass full of Jack. I take the glass and stand on the balcony watching the river below. Something that can be peaceful or torrential at any time feels like it is speaking to me right now. Like it understands these feelings and emotions running through me.
I fucking love Tori, but I don’t know what to do with it. I know ignoring her the last few weeks was probably a bad decision. I also know that nothing would have been resolved if I had answered. She would have lied or avoided my questions. She wouldn’t have opened up to me anymore than she did tonight.
“FUCK!” I yell out into the air not giving a single shit if it disturbs the neighbors. My neighbors can go fuck themselves.
Leave it to me to fall for the most difficult woman on the goddamn planet. She makes loving her fucking hard. Even though loving her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
The water on the river is rough tonight. A storm’s coming in. I can see the thunderheads in the distance as lightning flashes. It’s fitting considering how the rest of my day has gone. Shit game. Shit time at the club. Shit conversation with my girlfriend – if I can even really call her that. Just fucking shit.
My intercom buzzes bringing me out of my pity party for a moment. I walk to it. “Yeah,” I growl.
“Zane,” the only voice that makes everything in me both light on fire and turn to ice simultaneously as my emotions war between love and anger.
I lean my forehead against the wall as I continue to hold the button down.
“Zane, I’m sorry,” she says softly with a hiccup. My eyes squeeze shut at the sound, knowing that she’s crying.
But I’m not going to speak this time. I’m not going to fight or beg her to talk to me. If she’s going to talk, then she has to be the one to start the conversation.
“Zane, I – I’ve never done this before. Never felt like this,” she sobs. “Never wanted to. And now I don’t want to lose you.”
I suck in a breath. The back of my eyes burns and my chest squeezes. Breathing is a chore. Laborious and hard as I try to hear what she’s saying.
And I do hear. I hear her fear and worry. I hear the confusion and the doubt. The what ifs still running through her head.
But there have been a lot of what ifs running through my head lately. What if I let her go and never feel like this again? What if I’m giving up too easily? What if I need to take my own goddamned advice and pull my head out of my ass? What if I let her leave and never see her again? What if the gaping hole that will leave in my heart never heals?
Without so much as a whisper, I step into the elevator and begin my descent down. I swear to everything this fucking elevator has never been so slow. Thunder rumbles loudly and lights flicker. I swear and curse everything like my threats will stop the power from failing.
I fly out of the elevator before the doors have fully opened into the lobby of the building. I run toward the exit faster than I think I’ve ever moved before, bumping into several people as I try to hurry. My feet land outside to where the intercoms are. I look around, my heart pounding in my chest every second that I don’t see her. I stare through pouring rain looking for her.
“Tori,” I call out loudly as possible catching the glares of people passing by.
But I see her when she stops. In the middle of the street, she stops dead. Slowly she turns while I move on a mission to reach her. Car horns blare and brakes squeal as they fight to go around her.
Everything feels like it is in slow motion and fast forward all at once. And when I reach her? Well, I do the only thing I want to do in that moment. I grip her face between my hands and kiss her. I kiss her with everything in me. Letting her know that I’m here. That I’m not going anywhere. I let her know with that kiss that I can be her rock or the shoulder to cry on. That I will burn down the world for her or with her. I don’t give a fuck if she tells me what going on or not. The only thing that matters is her.
I grip her tightly, lifting her until her legs wrap around me. In the pouring rain, we continue to stand in the middle of the street mouth on mouth arms around each other pouring our souls into one another.
“Fuck, I love you,” I say against her mouth.
“I love you too, Zee,” she says.
And my heart stops and starts again. �
��Say it again,” I demand.
“I love you, Zane” she says with a laugh.
“Goddamn that sounds too fucking good coming from your mouth.”
“Zane, put me down,” she giggles and tries to remove herself from my body.
“People are staring.”
“Let them fucking stare.”
I don’t set her down until we are inside the penthouse. I make my way to my room to grab her some dry clothes. When I get back into the living room, my eyes zero in for the first time on something that I didn’t see outside under the dim streetlights. That I didn’t see in the elevator because I couldn’t take my mouth off of hers. Something I know wasn’t there earlier today or tonight.
I walk to her with purpose, gently grabbing her face to tilt it to the side. Bruises line her jaw. Her lower lip is split. Purple fingerprints line her throat.
My blood boils. Anger like I’ve never felt bubbles inside of me. “Who the fuck did this Tori?” I demand.
Tears well in her eyes. Something akin to fear flashes in her chocolate eyes. “I fucked up Zane,” she tells me.
I bristle at her words. I’m not sure what she means by that but the thought that she is taking the blame for someone putting their hands on her pisses me off. My mind flashes back to the pictures of Zoey after her assault. To the black and blue and purple marks all over her body.
“Tori, tell me who did this?”
She crumbles to the floor looking totally helpless. I am burning with rage that she’s like this. Tori is strong and fierce. A ballbuster to say the least. But right now, she looks terrified, vulnerable, and helpless.
I move to her, picking her up off the floor and moving to the sofa. “Please for the love of God, Tori. Fucking talk to me.”
She shakes her head, making me think she’s not going to tell me. Until she opens her mouth. “When I went to visit Cara in Chicago to check out her boyfriend for Dane, something happened. The boyfriend instantly gave me the creeps. Then they introduced me to his brother and a friend. The three of them make my skin crawl Zane, but I went out to the club with them that first night after Cara begged me. I needed to keep an eye on her.”
