by A. L. Wood
“It’s never simple, Abby. We all have skeletons in our closet, some more than others. We all carry that baggage around with us, letting it control our future. It’s up to you or me, or Gage if we want to unload it. It’s not for me to tell you who Gage is, or why he is the way he is, why he does the things he does, but don’t give up on him. That’s all I’m asking. I haven’t seen someone affect him as much as you do in a long time, years really. It’s like he’s finally developed emotions that go beyond just fucking off, he actually gets pissed, yes at you, but that’s more emotion that I’ve seen him put out in a while. Just don’t give up, keep fighting to get through.”
“I’ll consider it.” I tell him.
“Now on to lighter topics, tell me what made you become a tour manager? You like to travel a lot?” He says laughing.
Easing away from the heaviness that is Gage.
“Actually, traveling is just a perk. I’ve loved music since I was a child. I can remember my mom playing the Country Music Television channel every damn morning as I got ready for school. It was a constant in my life, probably the only constant I had growing up. It didn’t matter what was going on, it's how my mom dealt with life. It’s how I dealt with life. Once I got into high school I knew that was my career path, it’s what I needed to do, had to do. So here I am.” I explain, just hitting the iceberg of my life.
“Country huh? And now you tour with a rock band. How’s your mom feel about that?”
“Yeah, she was in love with country. She doesn’t know, her and I don’t have a very close relationship. Anyways, how about your mom, how does she feel having a son in a rock band traveling the world?” I ask deflecting away from my discussing my mom.
“She’s pretty supportive, as are Gage’s parents. When we first started out our parents are the ones who helped pay the rent for our tiny ass apartment in New York City. My mom still gets pretty anxious over us, about us traveling or performing, my father, on the other hand, doesn’t worry at all. They're proud of all of us. I’m pretty lucky about that.”
“Do they ever come to your shows?” I ask, liking the fact that the conversation is now off me.
“Sometimes, depends on where we’re playing at. They live in Los Angeles now, when we got signed I bought ‘em their own house. First thing I did actually. Gage bought his parents a place too, in case you were wondering.”
I ignore his last lingering comment. “Are they going to be coming to any of the shows on this tour?”
“What do you want to meet my parents or something?” He laughs.
“I’m just curious, is all. Who wouldn’t want to meet your parents?”
“True. They’re pretty damn awesome, to have raised someone like me. I mean come on look at all this.” Jason says moving his hand from his face to the floor, showcasing his body.
I laugh and shove at him. “Enough of that. I was talking about raising someone as talented as you, parents that supported and still support your dreams. I wasn’t talking about your genes.”
“Fine. But I am sexy, you don’t have to agree for me to know that.” He says smirking.
“Can we get that drink now?”
“Yeah, yeah. What do ya want?”
“Malibu with pineapple.” My favorite.
He waves the bartender down, it doesn’t talk long to get her attention because the place is dead. Jason wasn’t lying when he said the bar was across the street, it’s more like a small restaurant. They have tables placed all over and in the corner is this small wooden bar.
Nothing fancy, but exactly the kind of place I would visit. A place that I wouldn’t expect Jason or any of the other guys to visit. The lighting is turned down, setting the mood for diners who want to be on a romantic date. Our drinks are served fast, I gulp mine down while Jason does the same. He throws some cash down on the counter and asks me if I want to go back to the hotel.
“Sure, I’ve had enough talk for one night. Plus you’ve got a show tomorrow night, or should I say tonight since today is now tomorrow.”
“Are you buzzing from that one drink? Lightweight.”
“I’m not drunk, what do you take me for?” I laugh as he escorts me through the hotel lobby.
“What floor?” Jason asks me as we step into the elevator.
“Three.” I say lowly, but high enough for him to hear me.
“You’re going back to Gages room I take it.” He states.
“Yup.” I say while looking down.
“Just remember what I said.”
“I will.”
The elevator door opens on the third floor and before I step out Jason places a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Keep fighting.”
I will Jason, I will, I say to myself.
Chapter 12
Bam! Bam! Bam! What in the fuck! I roll over opening one eye to look at the clock, 1 A.M. and someone’s pounding on my door, this better be good. I throw the comforter onto the floor and swing the door open.
“What do you want?” I ask Abagail. You shouldn’t be here, you need to leave. Is what I want to say but I can’t bring myself to say the words aloud.
“I just- I wanted to talk to you.”
“At one in the morning? It couldn’t wait?”
“You know what, never mind. It wasn’t that important.” She says while walking away.
Fuck. “Abagail…” I grab her by the arm and pull her into my room, shutting the door behind me. “What is it?”
“Did you change rooms because I said no to being friends with benefits with you?” She asks.
“I got my own room for a number of reasons, that’s one yes. But not because you turned me down, but because there’s no way that I can share a room with you and not be with you. I changed rooms for you.” I explain to her.
Mistake number one for the night.
“You couldn’t sleep in the same room as me?” She asks disbelieving me.
“No.”
“I just don’t understand why you’d change rooms because of me saying no when you claimed you were okay with it, with just being friends. Why say you were okay with it, when now you’re saying you basically can’t be in the same room with me and not have sex? Why didn’t you just come to me?” She questions.
“I am okay with it, really. It’s just that while we were at dinner, I realized that there’s no way I can’t be in the same room with you and not want to dirty things to you. I respect your decision that’s why I changed rooms, you weren’t around when I grabbed my things. I figured I’d tell you in the morning.”
“You could have told me while we were at dinner.” She argues.
“Abagail don’t make this something bigger than it is. It’s not a big deal, I don’t know why you’re making it more. It’s me, I’m not one for self-control.”
“Did I do something wrong?” She asks, worry in her eyes.
“No damn it, you didn’t do anything. It’s just better this way, I think deep down you want more than I can give you, something more than just sex, and I can’t give that to you. Even if I wanted, I can’t, I won’t allow myself. So just go back to your room, go to bed, and I’ll see you in the afternoon on the way to the venue. Forget tonight happened, all of it.”
Her eyes water, and I use every ounce of strength not to wrap my arms around her, while whispering that I didn’t mean what I said about forgetting tonight, but I can’t.
“If that’s what you want.” She replies while storming out of my room.
I run my hand over my face, fuck. I can’t make up for it while being myself, so I might as well try to cheer her up as a stranger.
Me: I’m a very ticklish person.
Abby: Really?
Me: Badly. Your turn.
Abby: Hmmmm…
Me: I’m waiting…
Abby: My family has no idea where I am, I doubt they’d care or ask.
Why doesn’t her family know where she is, what happened? I wish we had some sort of relationship to where she could tell me this to my face, where I could a
sk her these things in person, where I could be that shoulder for her to lean on. But it’s impossible.
Abby: I take that back, forget it. I’m not ticklish at all.
Me: Too late. You can’t take it back I read it.
Abby: Can too.
Me: Nope. Why doesn’t your family know where you are?
Abby: Where are you ticklish?
Me: Everywhere. Why wouldn’t they care?
Abby: Because they don’t support what I do. We haven’t spoken since I started doing what I do. They haven’t even tried getting ahold of me.
Me: That sucks, to not have their support. I’ll support you, where are you? What are you doing? Are you okay?
Abby: You don’t have to out of obligation, but thank you. I’ve been doing it without them for this long, I can continue just fine on my own. I have to get to sleep. Night.
Me: I’m not feeling obligated. Sweet dreams.
I put my cellphone on charge and roll over, thoughts of Abagail and an impossible future swirling in my head.
Chapter 13
Leaving Gage was hard, I wanted to stay with him as much as he didn’t want me to stay. He can say what he wants that it has nothing to do with me and all to do with him, he can place the fault on his doorstep, I still feel as if it’s partially me. The reason he’s afraid to commit to something more, the reason he doesn’t trust me. Maybe if I had woken him he wouldn’t be questions me still.
My cellphone dings indicating I have an unread message, you’d think that considering the job I do I would always have my phone on me in case one of my bosses from the label called me. I unlock my phone and to find a message from Gage. Not that he’s aware I know that it’s him, maybe I can take advantage of this.
Gage: I’m a very ticklish person.
Me: Really?
Gage: Badly. Your turn.
Me: Hmmmm…
Gage: I’m waiting…
Me: My family has no idea where I am, I doubt they’d care or ask.
Never mind, too much, too soon.
Me: I take that back, forget it. I’m not ticklish at all.
Gage: Too late. You can’t take it back I read it.
Me: Can too.
Gage: Nope. Why doesn’t your family know where you are?
Let’s talk about something else.
Me: Where are you ticklish?
Gage: Everywhere. Why wouldn’t they care?
He’s not going to let it go, this much is obvious.
Me: Because they don’t support what I do. We haven’t spoken since I started doing what I do. They haven’t even tried getting ahold of me.
Gage: That sucks, to not have their support. I’ll support you, where are you? What are you doing? Are you okay?
If only you could be that person, in life.
Me: You don’t have to out of obligation, but thank you. I’ve been doing it without them for this long, I can continue just fine on my own. I have to get to sleep. Night.
Gage: I’m not feeling obligated. Sweet dreams.
I type back, goodnight Gage, but delete the words instead, knowing that if I were to disclose that I know it’s him he probably won’t share anything else with me. Selfish of me to want to keep that part to myself, I know, but for some reason I hold on to any thread he’s willing to give me.
My alarm buzzes bright and early, I sat it for 6 A.M. knowing that no one else would be awake, that way I can get a head start and have everything ready before they all come down. We have to be at the ** by noon, where there will be a catered lunch ready and waiting for us. Then it’s the band’s sound check then on the pre-meet and greet. Something new for them, usually their meet and greet is after the show, not that they’ve canceled that, they’ll be doing one after as well.
But this meet and greet is for paid very important people, the label wanted to offer something more for die-hard fans. So if they opted to pay for a special ticket they would have more one on one time with each member versus standing in line for hours and only having a few minutes to meet the band.
To be able to charge more money for a special ticket they even went as far as offering a sit down dinner with the entire group and a few alcoholic drinks. Fortunately for the band and I, they only sold one hundred of these tickets at each venue. The downfall is that is required much more security, because frankly, people who would fork out and arm and a leg for a ticket such as this, meant that some of them had to have a bit of crazy inside.
The label knew that and I knew that, Ryan and the rest of the band from what I’ve seen in paperwork doesn’t agree with the added security detail, and tried fighting it. The label suggested he might be an issue when it came time and if so that I’m to my boss, Annalise, the person I report to directly. I’m not a tattletale kind of person, I don’t want to have to run to her, so I figured that if I brought it up in front of his wife and child, maybe he would be more agreeable, seeing as how his family will be around these strangers as well.
Even more difficult will be that I have to face Gage today, after last night in his room, when I couldn’t mask how I was feeling and after our texts last night. Not being able to just talk to him, even if it’s as a friend, or telling him that I know he’s who’s sending me messages late at night, it’s going to be a task all alone.
Rolling out of bed, I grab the hangers that have my clothes on them that I hung up last night to prevent any more wrinkles setting in. I take a fairly long hot shower, prepping myself mentally for the day. My first day as a tour manager with an extremely successful band, where I control everything that happens, and any correct any mistakes that can and most likely will pop up.
I dry myself off, while my hair sits on top of my head wrapped in a towel. Today I’m wearing my infamous black and white pinstripe skirt suit. I throw on my push up bra, not that it really helps extenuate what I have, it’s more for control, so that it holds my ladies where they should be. My matching black bikini underwear next then my white tank-top, nude color hosiery then my skirt and jacket. When at the venue I must look put together and professional at all times. Word could get back to the label, and my reputation could be ruined about professionalism at any time.
After I’m finished dressing, I apply some concealer to cover up the black bags I currently have under my eyes, rub some foundation in and then a light coat of mascara and lip gloss. I put my hair into a French twist while spraying half a bottle of hairspray on after, put together, I’m ready for the day. Before I leave my hotel room I grab my laptop bag, in case something comes up and my cellphone.
Time to make my wake up rounds.
I decide I’ll leave Ryan and Natalie for last, seeing as how they’ve probably been up most of the night with the baby. I hit Zepp’s room that he’s sharing with the bus driver, Jim. Surprisingly, they were already awake, so I hit Liam and Layla’s next seeing as how their just next door. What I didn’t expect was Liam to answer the door with nothing but a towel barely covering his genitals, and from what I could see Layla is a very lucky woman, not that I’m even interested in him. I ignore the towel as much as I can, while also avoiding his direct gaze.
“Umm…Just making sure you’re awake we have to leave by 11, in case you all wanted to shower and eat.”
He stares at me.
“I’m I’ll just be going. See you soon.” I run away, professionally of course. I hit every member of the road crews rooms, their all already awake. Routine for them.
I make my way on to Jason’s room, who obviously isn’t awake, since he doesn’t answer as I’m pounding on it for minutes. Deciding I’ll wake Gage up before coming back to Jason’s, then going to Ryan’s I hit the elevator to take me down to the third floor. Everyone else, including myself is roomed on the same floor.
Apparently Gage didn’t set an alarm, nor does he wake up to me pounding and screaming his name out just beyond the door. Luckily last night before I left his room I swiped an extra key card he had laid out on the desk in his room. Sliding it in, I let myself in.
<
br /> He lays naked and gorgeous, without trying, asleep in bed. Blankets are tossed onto the floor, one hand lays over his abdomen and the other above his head. One legs drawn up, his foot hitting his knee. His cock erect, and sadly not for me, but human nature, morning wood. I pick the blanket up from the floor and toss it over him, so he doesn’t get the idea that I was creepily staring, even if I was.
“Gage, wake up.” I say while gently nudging his shoulder.
No movement whatsoever.
“Gage! Wake up!” I yell into his ear while shoving his body roughly.
That works, I smirk to myself.
He jumps up off the bed. “Fucking Christ woman!” He yells back, in shock. “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” He asks, calmer, but still not realizing that he’s naked.
“I did knock, you didn’t answer. Anyway, I thought I would give everyone a wake up call, so you have time to ready yourselves before the show tonight. I have to go wake Jason and Ryan. I’ll see you at eleven thirty, out front, okay?”
“I’ll be there.” He mumbles in reply.
I thought I had this tour manager thing down, the career of my dreams, the planning, the problem fixing, the stress reducer, the everything when it comes to a tour, excluding the actual talent of musicians. Tonight taught me that I had so much more to learn, I knew jack shit. It could have been the pre-meet and greet, the fans not wanting to leave even though the band had already disappeared, stopping a potential riot was not an easy task.
Or maybe security calling me fifteen times within the first hour of my first concert with Steele’s Army. About groupies trying to barter their way in, bribing with money, showing some leg, some even using fake passes, passes they created, lanyards around their necks that the label nor venue had ever sold. Perhaps I had expected too much when it came to security, I thought this was something they should have had control over, that I shouldn’t have been needed.
