Bean's Heart (Hearts of ICARUS Book 7)

by Phillips, Laura Jo

  “Is that why I just lost all ability to do anything a few minutes ago?”

  “I think so, yes,” Iffon said. “As you become more comfortable expressing your emotions, they grow stronger. The frustration that barely effected your ability before is now strong enough to block it altogether.”

  “But I was terrified yesterday, Iffon, and somehow managed to do something I’d never done before.”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  Bean frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “No emotion to speak of equals little strength. Negative emotion equals less strength, or none at all. Emotion that isn’t negative equals full strength. Emotion that, as Zaza said, comes from your heart.”

  “Fear doesn’t come from the heart though, does it?” she asked.

  “No, but your fear engaged your need to protect, which does come from your heart.”

  “I don’t understand why her telekinetic strength would be tied to her emotions,” Zach said.

  “She did that herself,” Iffon said. “She can probably overcome it in time, but for now, I think we can work with this.”

  ***

  Over the next several days, as they got closer and closer to the point on their circle around the galactic center from which they had a clear line of sight to Kinah, there were more and more incidents of Chaos interfering. Thanks to the safety precautions the Falcorans, the Bearens, and XO Sark put into effect with a little help from Bean (and the mysterious messengers through her), they were able to thwart the majority of them. The few that got by them, Bean received messages on.

  When she wasn’t helping to stop Chaos from causing further significant delays, she practiced her telekinesis with renewed energy. Iffon and the Falcorans worked together to come up with ways of helping her by engaging her emotions before she attempted anything new. Once she was able to do something with her emotions, she was generally able to repeat it without them, though every step forward required more emotion.

  She’d practiced so long and so hard with lifting, aiming, and manipulating objects that, once she was able to access her strength, it just took a little practice to apply it. Weights all but flew off the floor, knives sped toward targets, and she’d gotten good enough with the marbles that she could make them move in different directions around her room, all at the same time.

  The one thing she couldn’t do was make a shield. She hadn’t even known what she’d done until her cousins told her, and she had no memory of doing it at all. Since she had no idea how she’d done it the first time, she had no idea how to repeat it. After a few days of repeated failures in between the other skills she was working on, she decided to focus an entire afternoon on trying to make a shield.

  After several long and fruitless hours she gave up and sat down on the floor in the middle of her training room, tired and despondent. She was beginning to think that creating those two shields had been some sort of freak anomaly that she’d never be able to repeat.

  She was so dejected that she didn’t even sense the Falcorans approaching until they entered the training room. After greeting her, Zander sat down on the floor beside her while Zain and Zach moved to opposite sides of the room.

  “Watch this,” Zander said. She looked up at him, then turned her attention to Zach and Zain. When Zach was sure she was watching, he pulled a long dagger from a sheath strapped to his thigh, flipped it in the air, then threw it straight at Zain.

  Bean gasped when she saw that Zain wasn’t moving and threw one hand up in his direction just in time for the dagger to hit it. There was a dull clang, then the knife fell harmlessly to the floor.

  Before it even struck the mat Bean was on her feet, stalking toward Zach, the flecks of gold in her eyes sparking against the green. “What is the matter with you, Zach? How could you throw a knife at your own brother? Why would you do such a…,” she trailed off, her anger fading. When Zach grinned at her, she knew she’d been had.

  She started to smile, then frowned again. “You could have seriously hurt him, Zach. You could have killed him.”

  “Nah,” Zach said as Zain and Zander approached them. “From your position on the floor in the center of the room, you couldn’t tell that the dagger would have missed him by about a foot.”

  “That’s why I sat down beside you,” Zander admitted. “To keep you where you were.”

  Bean looked at them for a long moment, then sighed. “I understand why you did this, and I appreciate that you were trying to help me. But it was still a remarkably foolish thing to do and I want you all to promise me that you’ll never do anything like that again.”

  “It wasn’t foolish, Bean,” Zach said earnestly. “I’m very good at hitting what I aim at, and missing what I don’t aim at. Besides, if I had hit him, he would’ve self-healed.”

  Bean was suddenly so upset that, for the first time in her life, she wanted to stomp her foot. “Knowing how hard Chaos is working to derail our mission, I’d think the three of you would know better.”

  “Know better than what?” Zander asked, confused.

  “To risk your lives unnecessarily. Or each other’s lives.”

  “Bean, it wasn’t a real risk,” Zach began, but she was already shaking her head.

  “Even after witnessing the things Chaos makes happen with your own eyes you still don’t get it. Chaos could easily have done something to alter the course of that dagger, or make Zain trip and fall into it or…who knows? If it had struck him in the heart, he could have died before any healing had a chance to take place and you know that as well as I do. Anything could have happened.” She looked at each of them for a long moment, sadness taken the place of anger.

  “Chaos has messed with the minds and lives of every single person I love. That includes my sisters, my parents, the Dracons, and now you. Why the three of you think you’re immune is beyond me, but I can promise you that you’re not.”

  Zander, Zach, and Zain looked at each other in surprise. Then they looked at her again with hope shining in their eyes.

  “What?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Did you just say…well, sort of say…maybe imply would be a better word.” Zander paused thoughtfully for just a moment, then continued. “Yes, imply is the right word.” He caught Bean’s growing impatience and bit back a smile. “Did you just imply that you love us?”

  Bean’s face paled, then turned red. She dropped her eyes to the floor, something she hadn’t done for a while. “Um…maybe?”

  “Well, if you did, or rather, if you do, we’d like to know so we can tell you that we love you, too,” Zach said.

  “Oh.” She looked up at them again, eyes narrowed just a little. “You don’t want to tell me you love me unless I say it first?”

  “It’s not that we don’t want to say it first,” Zain said. “We just didn’t want to push, or put pressure on you by going in that direction before you were ready.”

  “I see,” Bean said, dropping her eyes again. She cleared her throat, looked up at them, then back to the floor, then up again. “Yes, I love you,” she said. “Do you think I would’ve asked you to kiss me if I didn’t?”

  “Um…,” Zain said, then looked at Zander with an edge of panic in his eyes.

  “We should have known better,” Zander said. “We’ve never loved a woman before so I’m afraid it’s got our brains slightly scrambled.”

  “Good save,” she said. Then her eyes grew glossy with unshed tears. “You guys have great big targets on your backs now. Please promise me that you won’t do anything like that again. Please. Taking risks with Chaos is so much more dangerous than you realize.”

  “I promise,” Zander said, stepping close and placing one hand on her cheek. “And I love you, too, Bean.” Her eyes widened when he bent down to press a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. She watched him step aside, then Zain stood in front of her. He clasped her hands in his, brushing his thumbs across the backs of her hands.

  “I love you, Bean,” he said, gazing into her eyes. “I prom
ise to never again deliberately tempt Chaos.” Then he leaned down and kissed her as Zander had, lingering just a moment longer. Then he released her hands and moved aside.

  Zach approached with a sad smile on his face. He reached up to trace a finger along her jaw, marveling at the softness. “I’m sorry, Bean,” he said. “This was my idea, and I should have thought about Chaos, but I didn’t. We just wanted to help.”

  “I know,” Bean said, reaching up to place her hand over his, pressing his fingers close against her cheek. “And you did help because even now I can remember what I did and how it worked so I’m sure I can do it again and I’m sorry for getting so upset I just got scared and I’m rambling again. Sorry.”

  “We adore your rambling so stop apologizing for it,” he said. “I’m sorry for scaring you, and I promise to be more careful. I would never purposely do anything to make you, the woman I love without measure, unhappy or sad.”

  “Thank you,” she said, then went on her toes to press her lips to his, while caressing his cheek with her free hand. When she pulled back she couldn’t help but smile at the shocked, but pleased, expression on his face. He opened his mouth as though to say something, then went perfectly still.

  “Zach?” Bean asked, confused at first. When she noticed he wasn’t even blinking she turned to find Zander and Zain both standing like statues as well.

  “Be calm, Bean, your mates are safe,” a warm feminine voice spoke into her mind. She spun around, then gasped at the sight of a large white raptor hovering in the center of the room. It looked like a larger version of Iffon’s white raptor, except that her eyes, beak and talons were white and pearlescent, the light gleaming warmly against them producing a rainbow of soft colors.

  Bean glanced down at her shoulder to find that Iffon was as motionless as the Falcorans. When she looked back up at the amazing bird, she realized that she felt no fear at all. Not even nervousness. “May I ask who you are, please?”

  “I am called Matriarch,” the raptor replied. Then it began to shrink and change until a woman stood in its place. A tall, beautiful woman with blue eyes, a gentle smile and golden hair so long it trailed along the floor behind her as she walked. “I am very proud of you, Bean.”

  “Why?” Bean asked curiously. “I’ve done nothing to be proud of that I’m aware of.”

  The Matriarch smiled. “I am nonetheless proud of you. I have many things to tell you and not much time.”

  “All right.”

  “As your mother is Chosen of the Eternal Pack, you are my Chosen, and have been since shortly after you and your sisters were conceived. It is a story I will one day share with you in its entirety. When we have more time.”

  Bean nodded as her mind raced, putting pieces together. “You’re Matriarch of the guardians for Clan Falcoran, aren’t you?”

  “That’s correct,” the Matriarch said, smiling again. “I am Matriarch of the Raptor’s Nest.”

  “I am honored to be Chosen, Matriarch, even if I don’t understand why, or what it means.”

  “You will learn all that in time, Bean. Now that you’ve worked through your power blocks, and accepted your destined mates, I may grant you easy access to that which rightfully belongs to you.” The Matriarch reached up, held one finger just over Bean’s right cheek, then paused. “Please remain still. This will not hurt, but motion will blur what should be clear, and once begun it cannot be stopped or changed.”

  “I won’t move,” Bean said nervously.

  The Matriarch touched the high point of her cheek bone with a cool finger. An odd, tingly sensation flowed downward from the point of contact.

  “Excellent,” the Matriarch said. “Your mark as Chosen of the Matriarch is perfect, and quite beautiful if I do say so myself.” She held one hand up and a small mirror appeared in it. “Take a look.”

  Bean accepted the mirror and held it up, then smiled when she saw the delicate white feather that began at the top of her cheek, then curved gently along the side of her face to just above her jaw. It was pearlescent white and incredibly detailed. It looked so much like a real feather she might’ve tried to remove it if she hadn’t known better. “It’s beautiful, Matriarch. Thank you.”

  “It was my pleasure,” the Matriarch said, making the mirror vanish with a wave of her hand. “I’ve waited many years for the moment I could place my mark upon you, thus claiming you as my Chosen.”

  “I’m guessing that I can’t tell anybody what the mark is, or what it means,” Bean said. “What should I say when people ask?”

  “For those you wish to answer, you may say that you are Chosen of the Matriarch. No more than that though, please.”

  “I promise.”

  “Thank you. Now, you will find that you can access your powers without the blocks you placed on yourself due to the interference of Chaos.” She smiled apologetically when Bean frowned. “It was necessary for you to come to terms with what was done to you, by whom, and most of all, that you make the effort to find your own way around it.”

  “I get it,” Bean said, nodding.

  “Very good,” Matriarch said. “Now, I must speak of things less pleasant, but of great importance.”

  Bean listened attentively as the Matriarch spoke. She had no idea how much time passed, nor did she care. When the Matriarch was finished, Bean remained silent for a few moments as she considered all she’d just learned. Some of it was quite startling, some struck a familiar chord in her, and some made her incredibly sad, but she kept her reactions to herself.

  “May I ask a couple of questions?”

  “Yes, though I warn you, I’ve told you all that I can tell you at this time.”

  “I understand, Matriarch. I’d like to know what I can and can’t say to my Rami.”

  “Good question. You are free to tell them all, Bean, for they are Falcoran, and your soul will soon be one with theirs.”

  “That’s a relief. What about Iffon?”

  “What about him?” the Matriarch asked, looking puzzled.

  “I assume it was you who assigned him to be my guardian.” The Matriarch dipped her head. “Since he’s a little statue right now too, does that mean he doesn’t know the things you just told me?”

  “Again, good question,” the Matriarch said. “He has the knowledge in his mind, Bean, but I’ve caused it to be hidden from him so that he didn’t act precipitously. I will take him with me when I leave, and return him to you shortly with his memories fully intact.”

  “Thank you, again, Matriarch.”

  “Have you more questions, Bean?”

  “Not that I can think of at the moment. To be honest, my head feels a little full from all you’ve just told me.”

  “That’s understandable. You’ll be able to ask Iffon questions after I return him, should you have any. Now then, you have the impression that I’ve caused your mates, and Iffon, to sleep but that is not actually the case.”

  “It’s not?”

  “No, my dear, I’ve slowed time down considerably for us. Our entire conversation has lasted but a brief second or so in real time.”

  “That’s interesting.”

  “It does come in handy upon occasion,” the Matriarch said with another smile. “In order to shock your mates as little as possible, I suggest you return to where you were standing before my arrival. Seeing the Mark on your cheek will be shock enough, I think.”

  Bean returned to stand in front of Zach. “Once again, thank you, Matriarch for everything. Especially for Iffon. I don’t want to imagine what my life would have been like without him.”

  “You are most welcome, Bean. Farewell.”

  Before Bean could say anything in return, the Matriarch and Iffon vanished. A second later, the happy expression on Zach’s face changed to one of confusion as his eyes fixed on her right cheek.

  “I don’t understand,” he said, reaching out to touch the mark with the tip of one finger.”

  “I know,” she said as Zander and Zain both stared at the mark,
too. “I’ll explain, but we need to go to the secure conference room first.”

  Zander leaned down, placing his lips next to her ear. “Matriarch?” he whispered. She nodded. Even though he’d guessed, he still seemed surprised by her answer.

  “All right, let’s go.”

  “Wait, where’s Iffon?” Zain asked.

  “Um…he’ll be back in…right now,” she finished as Iffon appeared on her shoulder. He stared up at her for a moment, then shook his head and lifted his wings a little.

  “Are you all right, Iffon?”

  “Yes, I’m all right, Bean. A bit stunned, perhaps. How are you?”

  “The same. We’re going up to the secure conference room so I can fill them in. There’s certainly a whole lot that I don’t know, though. Can you help?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Bean looked up at the Falcorans. “Maybe we can use Air?”

  “Absolutely,” Zander said, sweeping her up in his arms.

  “Oh, wait one second please,” she said, then waited for Iffon to meld.

  “He did that before when we used Air,” Zach remembered. “Why is that?”

  “Because if he’s not melded to me, he’ll get left behind. It’s the same for speed traveling. I don’t know why, but it’s always been that way.”

  “Why doesn’t really matter,” Zander said. “We’ll make sure he’s melded before using Air in future. Ready now?”

  “Yes, definitely,” she said, smiling up at him.

  Chapter 23

  Two days to deadline…

  “I’m almost surprised that we’re finally here,” Bean said, as she and the Falcorans headed toward Transport.

  “I’m a little embarrassed that I don’t know this, but do they know you’re here for more than the survivors?” Zach asked quietly after checking to be sure they were alone in the corridor.

  “No, not yet,” Bean replied. “It was decided not to transmit that bit of information. I need to tell them.”