Dangerous Redemption: A Single Parent Forbidden Romance Novel (Paths To Love Book 4)

by Grahame Claire

  I wouldn't insult Camila—Muriella—by offering her any of the spoils from our father's evil empire. Muriella. That name was going to take some getting used to. It suited my sister perfectly. She seemed to have moved on with her life and had some semblance of happiness. That she had overcome to any degree what our father had done to her was commendable. I'd only partially witnessed it, and it haunted me every day of my life. I couldn't move on.

  Not only did I bear part of the responsibility for our mother's death, but the fact Muriella had endured our father’s abuse without my knowledge . . . I would never get over it, and I couldn’t understand how she forgave me. Completely oblivious, I'd lived under the same roof for years while he raped her. I'd been so consumed with grief and guilt that whatever I could put in my body to forget, that was what I did. My selfishness had contributed to her pain, and I hadn't been there for her after Mama died. Hadn't been there to protect her from our father. Even though over twenty years had passed, it never got any easier for me to deal with.

  I reached in my pocket for Mama's rosary as I walked from the plane to the SUV parked outside the hangar I'd had built. The beads had slipped from her hand as her abductors had shoved her into the back of a car. I often wondered if she'd let go of it for me. She'd known she wouldn't be coming back to us. Deep down, I had known too. I shuddered at the thought of what she’d suffered, gripping the rosary tight in my palm. It brought no comfort, yet I couldn't bring myself to part with the relic. This and our family photos were all I had left of her.

  * * *

  I was grateful for the drive to the city. “Disarm” by the Smashing Pumpkins was my soundtrack. I needed the time alone to reset my mind and push away the events of a few hours ago. With each mile I drove, I distanced myself from what I'd left behind and focused on what was ahead. Every few seconds, I looked in the rearview mirror, expecting someone to be following me. Old habits died hard. I imagined I'd always be like that, looking over my shoulder at every turn. If it wasn't my father breathing down my neck, it was one of his enemies. For nearly thirty years, I'd been sleeping with one eye open. That wouldn't change because he was gone. I still had enemies, ones I'd earned on his behalf. Despite business being practically closed, they would still want justice, which was another reason to come to New York. The city was my escape; a place where I could disappear.

  The biggest concern I had at the moment was that I was almost two hours late. Because I didn't know my sister anymore, I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get from her. I probably should have called when I landed the plane, but I didn't, and it was too late now.

  I pulled her SUV into the underground garage of their apartment building. In a few minutes, I'd know exactly how she felt. Good or bad, that excited me. I didn't want her to be angry but learning something about her would be worth it.

  Sweaty palms were an odd sensation for me. I'd become numb to my surroundings, another side effect of being the son of a drug lord. But as I stood at Muriella's door and pressed the bell, I realized I was nervous.

  As soon as Stone Jacobs, my brother-in-law, opened the door and stuck out his hand to shake mine, he surprised me by pulling me in for a man hug. My nervousness evaporated.

  “'Bout time you got here, man. Come on in,” he said, ushering me inside. “Let me take your bag.”

  “You don't—” His stern look stopped the words on my tongue. “Thanks,” I amended, handing over my large duffel bag. He took it and led me to the kitchen, where the sound of chatter filtered out into the hallway. My steps faltered. For a moment, I was back home listening to my mother, grandmother, and aunts when they would gather in the kitchen to cook and gossip. A trace of longing expanded in my chest. Life had seemed so simple then. There was no constant fear or terror. There had been warmth, smiles, strength in gentleness. Family.

  “Carlos.” Muriella practically sprinted to me, flinging her tiny arms around my neck as best she could. I had my reaction, and it was much better than I'd expected. First new fact about my sister: she would forgive me when I was late. “You smell like a bonfire,” she observed, taking a sniff and wrinkling her nose.

  I froze, the image of our burning father flashed through my mind. Not now. He will not infiltrate my time with her. I relaxed my smile. “I’ve been roasting marshmallows. That's why I'm late.” It was a lame excuse, but the best I could come up with under the circumstances. The smile I'd plastered on my face became genuine when I realized Muriella was letting me embrace her. The thought of making her uncomfortable troubled me. I didn't want to touch her in any way that would upset her. It was why I'd been so tentative toward her. She didn't seem bothered in the least as I held her tightly in my arms. In fact, she appeared as pleased and comfortable as I was. “I'm glad to see you,” I said softly.

  “Let me fix you something to eat,” she said. Second new fact about my sister: she was more like our mother than I’d thought. A nurturer.

  “Think I could shower first?” Since our mother's death, there had been no women in my life to spoil me the way she had. I'd shut out my aunts and everyone else, fending for myself the only way I knew how.

  “Not until you come over here and give me a proper hello,” Miss Ruby said with authority. She was Stone's grandmother, the matriarch of the Jacobs family, and she knew how to take care of a man without emasculating him.

  I released my sister and went straight over to where she was sitting, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. She kissed my cheek and heat crept up my face. In the short time I'd spent with Miss Ruby, I'd grown fond of her. She reminded me of the good things in life and treated me like I was part of her family.

  “Hello, Miss Ruby.” The old woman dredged up a part of me I’d thought was long gone. I'd quarantined how it used to be as a boy, when my family meant everything to me. The possibility of getting my sister back, along with meeting the Jacobs, had unearthed old feelings.

  Muriella's mother-in-law was seated next to Ruby. She stood, and I hugged her, holding on a little too tightly and a little too long. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Thank you,” I said quietly because I could barely find the ability to respond. Those words. This feeling. There was no hidden agenda. No need to watch my back. For the first time in a very long time, I felt wanted. This felt like home. What home was supposed to feel like.

  Perhaps it was this love, this genuine acceptance that had helped Muriella heal. I closed my eyes, savoring what I knew was precious. Because if these people ever found out exactly who I was and what I'd done, they'd never have anything to do with me again.

  Chapter Four

  Carlos

  As soon as I closed the door to the guest room where Stone had placed my things, I pulled out a burner phone and dialed.

  “Has it started?” I asked when Eduardo Sandoval, a man I'd come to trust, answered. We'd formed an unlikely alliance when I'd discovered him attempting to assassinate my father. The man was fortunate it had been me who had thwarted his plan. Otherwise, he'd have met an untimely and brutal death. His brother had been lured in by the promise of riches if he pushed cocaine for the great Juan Carlos Calderón. If he earned a spot, he'd move up the ranks and be protected under my father's hand, but that had never happened. Eduardo's brother was murdered on a deal gone wrong, and Eduardo had wanted revenge for his brother's life. So we'd forged a relationship that revolved around taking my father down, a plan I'd had in the works for years. It took time to dismantle a drug empire, at least the way I'd done it, but I'd found Eduardo to be trustworthy. We were working toward building something for the future. That too would take time, but it would be worthwhile.

  “The equipment has arrived. In a day's time, there should be no remaining evidence,” he assured me.

  “And we're on schedule to prep the land?” Single-handedly destroying an entire compound and then cleaning up the mess was a practical impossibility. I'd done the destruction, and Eduardo would handle cleanup and rebuilding.

  “Y
es, if the weather cooperates.”

  “Good. You'll make sure no trace of him is found?”

  “It's still smoldering, but as soon as I can, I'll personally take care of it,” Eduardo promised. He was satisfied, knowing my father was dead and he'd indirectly had a hand in it.

  “I'll check in when I can.”

  “Can I call you at this number?”

  “For now.”

  We hung up, and I stepped into the shower and turned on the taps. I expected a blast of cold water, but the spray was immediately warm. I turned up the temperature until it was as hot as I could stand. I stood there for a long time, letting the heat burn away the sins I could never atone for, waiting for it to wash away the remains of the hell from which I'd emerged.

  I hissed when the scalding water hit my scalp, yet I refused to turn down the heat. With vigorous strokes, I scrubbed myself until my skin was almost raw. This was the last time I'd kill. I wanted to be clean.

  Yet . . . something inside me had grown to take pleasure from eliminating the life of someone who deserved to die. I wasn't judge, jury, and executioner, but it was a part I played. Sometimes it was premeditated, and sometimes it happened after a split-second decision. What if I needed to kill now? What if this was a sickness that had taken root and spread like a cancer? I couldn't get away with that here in America. Who was I now, some vigilante crusader? I hadn't ever murdered an innocent person, but the people whose lives I'd taken weren't much different from me. I was the heir apparent to the largest drug cartel in my part of Central America. That title didn't go to honorable men. Except that cartel didn't exist any longer. I'd made sure of it.

  I tugged on my hair and closed my eyes, the hot spray stinging my face. I pounded my fist on the stone wall and let out a string of curses. I'd heard about people who went deep undercover to infiltrate crime rings and then somehow lost themselves. The line between good and evil blurred. That was what I'd considered myself for many years—an undercover agent. My presence was necessary to thwart as much wrong as I could. But had I gotten lost? Because I sure as hell had participated to the point where it had become second nature. And the things I'd done? I wasn't all that sorry for.

  Maybe I shouldn't have come here. I didn't want to drag Muriella into this hell with me. She was good; even our father couldn't permanently stain her. She wasn't responsible for my soul, and I didn't want to darken hers, but my need to know her again, to have real family, overrode all my doubts.

  I turned off the taps and toweled off, my skin red and sensitive. Tucking the towel around my waist, I quickly ran a razor over my face, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair.

  Everyone was dressed casually, so I tugged on a pair of jeans and a gray sweater, then slipped a pair of loafers on my feet. I didn't feel like facing a crowd, but I was ravenous, and this was why I’d come. I couldn't get to know Muriella again by hiding away in my room.

  * * *

  “Here you are, darlin',” Miss Ruby said as soon as I walked into the kitchen. She spooned some sort of dip onto a plate and spread tortilla chips beside it. “Careful now. It just came out of the oven, so it's hot.”

  “I'll get you some tea,” Mrs. Jacobs volunteered, filling a red plastic cup to the brim with ice cubes and then pouring liquid over them from a glass pitcher.

  “Thank you.” I snagged a chip and dunked it in the savory dip, nodding my approval as soon as the food hit my tongue. “Delicious.”

  The women beamed at me as Muriella took dishes out of the warming drawer. “Hope you're hungry,” she tossed over her shoulder.

  “Starving.”

  My sister piled my plate with food and then shoved me out of the kitchen. “Male bonding,” she said by way of explanation. That wasn't exactly what I was here for, but if it made her happy, I'd do it.

  “Hey, Carlos. Sit here. That way you can use the coffee table for your spread,” Stone said, moving from his spot in the middle of the sofa.

  “Thanks,” I said instead of arguing. I found myself between Mitch, Stone's brother, and Daniel, his best friend.

  “We were beginning to think you wouldn't make it,” Mitch said.

  The little time I'd spent around him, he seemed all right. He was always poking at Stone and their sister, Mulaney, but in all fairness, they gave it right back.

  “Took me a little longer than I'd anticipated to get away,” I said, shoveling meat into my mouth. Damn, those women could cook. There wasn't a meal I'd eaten with them I hadn't enjoyed.

  “You watch football?” The eldest Mr. Jacobs gestured at the television. It wasn't what I called football, but that argument was probably best left to another time.

  “I keep up,” I answered truthfully. It was entertaining enough. I’d been inundated with everything American my entire life thanks to my father.

  “How long are you planning to be in the city?” Daniel asked, stretching out his legs, his gaze intent.

  This man might not say much, but he most definitely didn't miss anything. I was wary of him, recognizing some traits in him I had myself. But I owed him for my baby sister's life. If Daniel hadn't taken care of her all these years, I'd have more regret on my conscience than I already did. No. That wasn’t right. If my sister was dead, I’d have no purpose for living. I was in his debt, and no matter the kind of man he was or the secrets he harbored, he would always have an ally in me.

  “I'm not sure yet. I suppose I'll stay until my sister kicks me out,” I joked.

  “Great. You'll never leave,” Stone groaned before giving me a smile. That's the plan, bro.

  “If the food is always like this, I won’t,” I assured him as I forked the last bite into my mouth.

  A chorus of dammit, horseshit, and oh, hell went around the room, drawing my attention to the large flat-screen television. Things weren't going in favor of their team. I took a drink, not really sure at this point who I should be rooting for. Who won this game made no difference to me, but it seemed to mean a hell of a lot to the guys. I'd prefer to be on their side than against them.

  “Sonofabitch has butterfingers,” Mitch muttered. There were grunts of agreement all around.

  “I'm going for seconds. Anybody want anything?” I offered, easing off the sofa. Mumbled no's followed me out of the room.

  A few short steps and I was in the kitchen. “Miss Ruby, is there any more of the dip?” A loud clatter sounded from the direction of the island.

  “Oh, I'm so sorry.”

  A breathy voice floated across the room. That sultry sound had come from a blonde goddess, whose cheeks turned a cherubic pink. And those eyes . . . a dark jade that had my body standing at attention and my brain halting in its tracks. Well, fuck me.

  The beauty ducked down behind the counter to retrieve the spoon she'd dropped.

  “Let me get you some more, darlin'. Have you met Holly?” Miss Ruby asked.

  “No.” My throat worked as I drank in the stunning woman.

  Miss Ruby nudged me as she took my plate. I stalked around the island, intent on what I wanted. That gorgeous column of creamy white throat begged for me to run my fingers down it. Mark her.

  I could practically feel her heart racing, those green gems widening as I leaned close. “Carlos,” I said by way of introduction, pressing my lips to her cheek. It was silky smooth and flushed with heat, and her sharp gasp excited the predator in me.

  “Holly.” Her name came out as a purr but not the kind a seductress used when she'd set her sights on a man. No, this was natural. The woman would probably rather take those two syllables back. Who is she?

  “Mama? Why is your face so red?” The boy who spoke was handsome, with piercing blue eyes and a big voice for such a small body. The resemblance between the two was apparent in the bone structure of their faces.

  “You'll understand one day when you're grown,” Miss Ruby interjected.

  The boy’s forehead creased in concentration as he tried to work out what she meant. Eventually he shrugged, deciding it didn't matter.r />
  Holly cleared her throat, and my attention immediately went back to her.

  “That's my son, Gabriel.”

  I extended a hand. “Hi, Gabriel. I'm Carlos.”

  He sized me up, eventually shaking my hand once I passed his invisible test. He studied me with a wisdom beyond his years. I'd been less intimidated by men three times his size with a weapon poised for deadly intent. Shit. My brain finally connected the obvious dots. This was Holly's son. Of course a woman like her would be married. Not that that should mean anything. My scarred, poisoned, and dangerous life was far removed from the simplicity of this sweet and pure woman’s world. Why did that realization rub me the wrong way? Get it together, Carlos.

  “Do you have a dog?” Gabriel asked.

  Curious. That was what he was. I imagined he spent his days finding out as much information as he could about the world around him.

  “No, but I'd like one. What about you?”

  He nodded vigorously. “I want a chocolate lab. Mama said she had one when she was my age. I saw his picture, and I want one just like him.” He frowned. “I can't have one until I'm ready for the respons-responsi-responsibility, and I don't know how to take care of a dog.”

  “We could figure it out,” I volunteered, the words escaping before I'd thought them through.

  “You'd help me?” His reaction was like I'd given him a dog instead of offering to teach him how to take care of one.

  “Why don't you finish your pie and then ask my sister if you can borrow her tablet?”

  He glanced in her direction. “Miss Muriella, may I borrow your tablet? I really wanna find out how to take care of a dog.” The kid was so innocent that I found myself halfway out the door to purchase one for him.

  “You can use mine, Firecracker,” Mulaney, Stone's sister, said. Gabriel had command of the entire room.