Dangerous Redemption: A Single Parent Forbidden Romance Novel (Paths To Love Book 4)

by Grahame Claire

  Chapter Eight

  Holly

  People fucked.

  It happened. Right this very second, somewhere, it was occurring. Not to me, but for somebody it was. The closest I’d come to the word in a very long time was when I thought it, but even inside my head, a five-year-old chastised me. For the first time in nearly six years, a man had me thinking about it . . . a lot.

  Mere hours after meeting Carlos, a man who oozed sex like it was his job, sex was all I could think about. And it had to stop. I was a single mother with a son who depended on me. I'd already wronged my boy by sleeping with the man who was his father, a man who was nothing like what I'd believed him to be. Cruel. Callous. A first-class jerk. It was a mistake I'd repeat again because I had my Gabriel, who thank God was nothing like the man who’d created half of him.

  Gabriel was my reason for living, the brightest spot in my world. There was nothing I wouldn't do for my son, nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice. He hadn't chosen to be here. Gabriel was innocent, and I wouldn't punish him for circumstances he hadn't created. Bless his sweet soul, he thought our situation was normal. He hadn't suffered because there was no man in his life, but the way he’d been curled up next to Carlos earlier, his bright eyes drinking in everything the stranger had said and done . . . I was worried.

  Gabriel wasn't the only one who Carlos had dazzled. I'd never seen a man more stunning. All black hair, cinnamon skin, dark eyes . . . everything about him blared TROUBLE in red flashing lights. I'd fumbled all over the place like a tongue-tied teenage girl.

  Over the years, I'd turned off the parts of me attracted to the opposite sex. Between work and keeping up with a live-wire child, there wasn't anything left for that kind of stuff. Gabriel deserved all my attention, and I couldn't have a parade of men coming in and going out of our lives. My son needed stability, and we had that because of the structure I'd created. I didn't consider the lack of dating a sacrifice. There was only one man I needed, and he was just under four feet tall.

  Not well over six feet, bulked up with muscle, and a voice that made my thighs clench. My need for an orgasm hadn't been this strong since, well, I couldn't remember a time. But now I needed it. Badly.

  I slid my hand down my stomach and under my silk panties. My skin was smooth. I glided my fingers between my slit, already slick with wet heat. I lifted my hips off the bed, stroking the center folds. Gathering wetness, I dragged my finger to my clit, a sharp gasp escaping me at the sting of my touch. I was already swollen, primed, and ready for pleasure.

  My lids shut, the black behind them filling with the handsome features of the man who had brought on this torrent of desire. His eyes were dark and lust-filled as I imagined him looking at me, ready to make me his. To show me exactly what it was like for a man to bring a woman pure ecstasy. A shiver rolled through me.

  I couldn't wait any longer.

  I pushed my middle finger inside me, the silky walls sucking it in. I'd always preferred the touch of my fingers to a vibrator, a good thing since I had a curious little man who was into everything. That was a device I didn't want to explain. My velvety insides were slick and wet and warm, smoother than anything I could think of. If it felt this good around my finger, I could only imagine what it did for a cock. No wonder men lost their minds over women.

  With my other hand, I pressed the middle and ring finger against my clit, working back and forth and from side to side. Another finger pumped inside me, creating friction. I swelled, my pace becoming more fervent as my hands were no longer my own, but those of the hulk of a man who refused to leave my mind.

  I vibrated my fingers against my clit with increasing speed. I was so close already, my hands feverish as I imagined Carlos watching me touch myself in awe. Show me how you make yourself come. His voice was a caress against my ear, and though it wasn't real, I felt it as though it was. And that was my undoing.

  “Carlos,” I whispered as I convulsed around my finger, an intense orgasm washing over me. My breath came in short gasps as I rubbed small circles around my now sensitive bud, drawing out the feeling.

  Finally spent, I sank into the mattress. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d touched myself. Nothing inspired desire . . . until him.

  Tonight, I craved something my fingers weren't capable of doing. I wanted to feel a man inside me, be covered by a body bigger than my own, and feel the skin of someone else against mine. Not just any man, but Carlos.

  I groaned and covered my face with a pillow. Why was I always attracted to the wrong kind of man? Why couldn't I like someone safe? Someone who the most dangerous thing they ever did was buy a red car instead of a mundane gray one. Someone whose most rebellious act was not brushing his teeth before bed.

  Carlos might as well have been named Risky. The second I'd looked into his eyes, I'd seen danger. Something in those dark pools said he'd not only seen the ugliness this world could bring, but he'd lived it.

  He was the kind of man a woman could have for one night but never anything more. And that was too dangerous for someone like me. If I had him once, I'd only want more. Look but don't touch would be my new mantra. Avoiding him altogether would be difficult, seeing as Muriella was caring for Gabriel while I was at work, but I would try my best. Soon enough, he'd go back to wherever he came from. Then I'd be able to breathe normally again.

  Chapter Nine

  Carlos

  She isn't going to show.

  I'd put my sister up to inviting Holly and Gabriel over for pizza. Muriella's apartment was as packed with people as it had been yesterday when I’d arrived. While I liked the Jacobs clan well enough, none of them were the two faces I wanted to see.

  I checked my watch. It was ten after six. They weren't coming.

  “You keep staring at the front door like you're trying to burn a hole in it,” Muriella said, setting up a pizza buffet. She'd made all kinds, spending most of the day in here just like our mama. She loved the help she got from the other women and the samples the men snagged when they passed through the kitchen.

  “I'm not staring,” I said, motioning for her to get out of the way after she opened the oven door. She handed me the oven mitts, and I retrieved three more pizzas from inside and placed them on the island.

  “Yes, you are.” Muriella saw right through my drivel, but I refused to admit it. She placed a small hand on my shoulder. “Why don't you go get them?” she suggested, and I beamed at her with a why-didn't-I-think-of-that-and-you're-a-genius grin.

  I tore off the oven mitts and tossed them on the counter. She snorted at my haste. I was halfway to the front door when the bell rang. Be cool, Calderón. I checked the peep hole to see who was on the other side.

  “I thought you said six o'clock sharp,” I said, my eyes locking on Holly's when I opened the door.

  “How'd you get to the door so fast?” Gabriel asked.

  “I was on my way to come and get you.”

  “Gabriel, go ask Miss Muriella where you can wash your hands,” she said, and he skipped off in search of my sister. Holly had on jeans and a knit sweater, the collar circling the base of her delicate neck. A gold chain glinted, and I was curious as to why she kept it tucked under her clothes.

  “I know you put your sister up to this. How was I supposed to say no when Gabriel adores her?” Holly looked furious.

  “Why are you so angry?” I asked, and her frown deepened.

  “Thanks to you, Gabriel has been obsessed with puppies all day long. I can't get him one, and you've planted the seed that's already growing like kudzu,” she accused, her mouth twitching in frustration.

  I stepped closer, and her nostrils flared, the slightest gasp escaping her pretty lips when I invaded her personal space. “That wasn't my intention,” I said. She was statue-still. “Don't be mad.” I brushed her cheek, ghosting down to her jaw. I didn't have the right to touch her, but I took the liberty anyway. Her skin was soft. It was a mistake to touch her, but I didn't want to stop.

  “I'm not angry,”
Holly said softly, briefly closing her eyes. “It's just frustrating when he wants something, and it's not possible for me to give it to him.”

  “Tell me why you can't have a dog,” I coaxed, fingering the ends of her fine silky hair.

  “Because it's all I can handle raising my son. A dog is too much responsibility. Maybe when he gets older, we can do it, but not now.”

  She was resolute. I admired that she knew what she could and couldn’t do, and she wasn't afraid to voice that. I felt an unexpected obligation to take some of the responsibility off her shoulders. I was also incredibly surprised she hadn’t batted my hand away the minute I touched her.

  “You two coming?” Mulaney popped her head out of the kitchen, winking at us.

  Holly fidgeted with her headband as a blush crept up her neck, and I gestured for her to lead the way. I strode into the kitchen behind her to the end of the buffet line to wait my turn. Muriella was helping Gabriel choose the pieces of pizza he wanted, and he only fussed a little when she put salad on his plate. Miss Ruby nestled him into a chair between her and Mrs. Jacobs, the two women doting on Gabriel like he was a prince.

  There were several conversations going on, and I was transported back to a time before Mama died, when life had been like this: full of family and food and laughter. Our large family would get together every week at the compound, where there was room for everyone. The men talked business while the women gossiped, and the children played. I knew only bits and pieces of the family I had beyond my sister. When Mama had been so brutally killed, life stopped. The house became a tomb, our own personal living hell.

  “Carlos?” Holly's voice drew me from my thoughts.

  I'd shuffled to the island, and it was my turn to fill a plate. Holly offered me a spatula. “Thanks.” Our fingers brushed as I took it. Holly yanked her hand back, and without another word, moved down the line, finding a space to eat along the wall of cabinets across from the island.

  Needing distance, I went to the living room in search of Muriella. She was sitting in her chair. Stone was perched on the ottoman at her feet with a plate piled with pizza and salad on his lap.

  “Carlos, come over here,” she called, patting the wide arm of her chair. Our father had made himself at home in that chair. Flicked his cigar ashes on the carpet as if my sister's home wasn't sacred. As if it meant nothing to him. She meant nothing to him.

  Muriella's expression darkened, and I realized my thoughts must be transparent, so I tried to put a more pleasant look on my face. I couldn't stand to rob her of one second of her happiness. “Looks delicious,” I said, lifting my plate a little as I settled beside her.

  “What were you and Holly talking about?” She certainly didn’t hold back her curiosity.

  “Don't beat around the bush, darlin',” Stone said. She gave him a reproachful look, and then he dived toward her, pressing a kiss to her mouth.

  “She accused me of using you to get her and Gabriel here, and she's unhappy about the dog situation. But I think we've reached a temporary truce.” What the hell? If everyone was going to be in my business, then I was going to come out with it.

  “Mr. Carlos,” Gabriel said, hurrying across the room toward me.

  “Hey, Gabriel.”

  His big eyes blinked in anticipation. “I'm ready to look at puppy stuff again,” he announced solemnly.

  “How did you eat so fast?” I asked, taking a bite of my pizza. He shrugged. “As soon as I'm finished, we'll start.”

  “Gabriel, my tablet is charged and ready on the coffee table,” Muriella said.

  “Thank you, Miss Muriella.”

  “What did you do today?” I asked.

  “Laundry. Cleaning. A bath.”

  “No Legos today?”

  He brightened, and I smiled, though I didn't know why. “I forgot. We started a space shuttle.”

  “Well, that sounds pretty cool.”

  I had just shoved the last bite of crust into my mouth when Muriella grabbed my plate off my lap. “You sit here,” she instructed, rising and prodding Stone to get up with her eyes.

  I didn't immediately move.

  “You're better off doing what she says,” Stone advised as he stood.

  “I'll keep that in mind.”

  We played musical chairs, and I moved to the spot my sister had vacated. Gabriel crawled into my lap. I hesitated, unsure what to do. My experience with children was limited. He didn't notice, making himself at home on my thighs, his back settling against my torso. Was that normal? For a young child to accept a stranger into his world? I didn’t believe Holly hadn’t taught him about being careful, but this was confusing. And of all the people in this room, why me? How did he not see my darkness? The evil in my blood?

  “What do we look for now?” Gabriel's cheek was against my chest as he looked at me like I had all the answers. My throat worked. A five-year-old was making me nervous. What if I said the wrong thing? Why wouldn't he stop looking at me like I was his hero? If his mother knew exactly who I was, she'd never let me near him again.

  Shoving down the urge to set him on his feet and bolt from the room, I powered on the tablet. “Let's find a video on crate training.”

  * * *

  We were on our third video when Holly entered the living room. Her steps faltered at the sight of her son on my lap. Her mouth screwed up in displeasure. Or was it pain?

  She didn't move, simply observing me with Gabriel, and eventually I turned back to the tablet.

  “Mr. Carlos?”

  “What is it, Gabriel?”

  “How much does a crate cost?”

  “Not sure, but let's take it one step at a time, okay?” I said in encouragement, and he nodded, but I could tell he wasn't satisfied.

  “But if I don't know how much it costs, I won't know how much money I need to save.”

  A thickness formed in my throat, and I glanced at Holly. Her arms were folded, her expression admonishing.

  “I thought we had a space shuttle to build?” she said to Gabriel, saving me from a situation I wasn't sure how to navigate. I was about two seconds from taking the boy to buy him whatever he wanted. The only other soul I'd ever known with his purity was Muriella, and that had been stolen from her. I refused to let that happen to Gabriel.

  A little gasp of excitement escaped him, then he looked torn.

  “You're right. I'm ready whenever you are,” I said, Holly's gaze narrowing on me. I was going to take that look heated with anger and turn it into one with desire. Because there was no husband—no one at all—standing in my way.

  “I was talking to Gabriel,” she said.

  “Mr. Carlos can help us too.” Gabriel bolted out of my lap and stood by the chair, waiting for me to get up.

  I eased to my feet, set the tablet on the coffee table, and gestured for Holly to lead the way. Gabriel grabbed her hand and then mine. Even though he'd done it before, the feel of his fingers clutching mine caught me off guard. The sight of the human chain we formed was far too pleasing for my liking. Holly was right. I didn't know anything about kids, how attached they got, but I had to make a decision and quick. Go all in or leave them the fuck alone.

  Chapter Ten

  Holly

  I tried to keep up my pissed-off façade, but watching Carlos with my son made it hard. Gabriel was happy by nature, though Carlos brought something out in him I wasn't sure I'd ever really seen from my boy. He drank in everything about the dark stranger who’d walked into our lives only a day ago. The two of them together were a vision. Seeing it made me feel guilty about something I could never give him.

  Gabriel was well-adjusted without a father, never seemed to notice he didn't have one, but I saw how hungry he was for a relationship with a man he could call Daddy. He was too young to know it, but as his mother, I knew. I was doing my damnedest to be two people at once, but I often fell short. At the end of the day, I was only a woman. Before I’d seen Gabriel interacting with Carlos, I’d thought I was doing a pretty good jo
b, but there was a void that would only get worse as he grew older. And Gabriel hadn’t reacted with the same hunger toward Stone or Daniel—or any other man, for that matter—as he did Carlos. Only the dark-headed stranger had my son’s attention. Even though I sensed the danger in Carlos, it was easy to picture him as a dad and a husband. He dredged up yearnings I’d had longer than I could remember by appearing to be everything I’d ever wanted in a man.

  As curious as Gabriel was, it stunned me he'd never inquired about his father. He was intuitive. I thought he sensed the topic was off-limits, though that would only last so long. One day, he would want answers I didn't want to give him. I didn't lie to my son, and I was afraid there would come a time when I'd have to.

  I'd rather Gabriel think I didn't know his father’s identity than to tell him the truth because someday he would try to have a relationship with the man who refused to believe he had a son. That was how Gabriel was. I couldn't stand to think about how that rejection would hurt my baby. It would crush him, and I'd rather die than have that happen.

  “Mama, I need a red piece.”

  Gabriel dragged me from the thoughts that plagued me often. I reached over and handed him the Lego he wanted. “One more, and then it's time for bed,” I said, and his face fell but only for a moment.

  “White, please.” Happily, he put the piece in place and then stood, holding both hands out to help me off the floor. Carlos’s eyes filled with surprise as he noticed the gesture. I was raising a gentleman, a man who would respect women and people in general.